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Personal Statement: My quarter life crisis
By Mariam Sheikh
"So you're a freshman,right?"
I sit there absentmindedly in my
political science lecture, in my slight-
ly awkward GSI's office hours, in a
"mandatory" review session - what-
ever the location, that question is
always asked. OK - yes, I am sitting
in your100-level class,yes Istalk you
in office hours to ask a million ques-
tions, yes I sometimes appear to be
dazed and confused. Butno, I amnot
a freshman.
Instead, I'm here because I am
trying to ma another year, another
semester, an opportunity to take new
classes in search of a subject I genu-
inely like. That didn't happen as a
freshman.
But I am not a freshman anymore
and Istill don't know what to do.I am
in this middle phase of my life, sur-
rounded by walls - by the distinct
memories of high school and the dis-
tant idea of the rest of college. And
they are slowly corneringme in.
I remember it too well: the antici-
pation, the nerves, the senioritis and
most of all, the fearlessness. Just like
myself- not too long ago -there are
eager high school students waiting to
graduate, to turn 18 and venture off
to college. Then there are those who
turn21,ready to take Rick's by storm,
their weekends - and choice week-
nights for that matter - get more
interesting.Thentherearethecollege
seniors who, especially in the midst
of a numbing winter semester, may
be feeling excited about their bitter-
sweet
gradu-
ation
because
it means
they are
about
to enter
real life.
Then
there's
me, a '
junior at
the Uni-
versity,
who is t
still not l
high schoolers anymore, and we
sure aren't clueless freshman. But
we aren't upperclassman or seniors
either. I can't go to most bars since
I'm not 21 and my fake never came.
Shout-out to the guy at Silk Road that
likes to con poor and innocent college
Last April I turned 20 and I can't
help but feel uneasy. I'm no longer
allowed to be an immature teenager
- those years are behind me. I feel
nostalgia for my lost portion ofexpe-
rienced youth. I feel nervous because
I'm entering a new phase in my life,
m- 2
100-per- students. ILLUSTRATION BY MEGAN MULHOLLAND
cent certain of what she wants to do The people who
with her life.So, what about students are stuck - we are getting older, but and yet everything will still remain
like me? What aboutthose ofus who we aren't conquering any life hur- fairly the same. My routine of school,
fall inbetween these two major mile- dies, we aren't accomplishing tay- work and play will not be altered. So
stones? What about us? We aren't thing huge. why do,I feel like I'm dropping closer
to oblivion? This is my quarter life
'W"T A ~ crisis.
IN AC RED IT criL OK, well obviously it's not a full-
1h.JL VL UN IO N . blown quarterlife crisis. I am20, not
25--but you get the idea.
Up until now, most of my life has
beenspentenduringnumeroushours
of school five days a week. Think
about the countless hours spent sit-
ting in high school classes blankly,
not taking anything in. Think about,
* I :' the times you were forced to sit
ML'hthrough a two-hour mass once a
week. Think about the number of
times you googled your math home-
work and memorized the steps, just
to pass a class.
And then college came - a time
when I thought I would take classes
I would love and enjoy. While this
did come eventually, it was first met
BLUE DEBIT CARDS! byamultitude ofrandomand not-so-
exhilarating courses. I think about
the year wasted trying to findwhat I
love and what I would be passionate
about, only to find out what I hated
and would never take again - a nec-
VSVSAessary part of the process, perhaps?
I can't help but think about this and
wonder what I could have been doing
[r instead.
Don't get me wrong, school is
_uWy-B ___K__a__hrt____important. A holistic education is
.. n a~ort e. ...eeel..ts-s~p~niexo srarbs ;ray.4 R important. But just think of the hob-
bies I could have taken up. I could
have learned how to dance. I could
have learned to play an instrument.
I could have actually learned Ital-
ian (not just struggle to pass four
required semesters) -but there sim-
ply wasn't enough time.I do have my
hobbies, but they are lackluster and
there isalwaysthe want for more.
I remember all of the times when
I said "no" to going out to stay in and
study for an exam that I ended up
doing average on anyway. The days
spent locked in my dorm or apart-
ment taking notes and reading pages
of textbooks. The times whenI didn't
even go outside so I could get more
work done. Where does it end? When
does it end?
The hope is that we work hard
now to get a decent career going, and
then what?We get rich,we retire, we
move to Florida and tan for the rest of
our lives.Oh,ifonly it were that easy.
In reality, we keep working hard
to keep that career going. To be pro-
moted one day. Which is all fine and
well, if you love your job, But that's
not always the case. They call it pay-
ing your dues.Work acrappy jobuntil
you are middle-aged,thenpeople will
respect you and take you seriously. I
don't know about you, but when I'm
middle aged, I don't wanttohave just
started my career.
Turning 20 means that Iam clos-
er to graduating closer to the next
chapter. So everything I do now will
shape the person I will become, in
every facet of life. Ideally, I would
want to work in either the fashion or
entertainment industry. My obses-
sion with pop culture, celebrities and
their noteworthy events make me
perfect for it.While we aretoldto fol-
lowourdreams,thefactis,theyneed
to be realistic too.
I want to be like Jennifer Law-
rence, who earned her first Oscar at
age 22. I want to be one of those peo-
plewhomakealife-changingappone
nightein their dorm. Iwant to be that
girl who happens to be in the right
place at the right time and makes a
network of connections that setsher
up for life. I want to be the youngest
Fortune500CEO,orwriteabookout
of college. The heart warts what it
wants and yet it gets something else
entirely.Itgets a contracttobe a data
analystinacubicleforafewyears.An
offer to be an assistant to asecretary,
a job plagued with "administrative
duties."Itgetstolivebackhome after
experiencing years of college free-
dom- itgetsthe real world.
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AT MICHIGANDAILY.COM