The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
Tuesday, December 11, 2012 - 7
The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Tuesday, December 11, 2D12 - 7
FILM COLUMN
A movie guide to living
through the holidays
ALBUM REVIEW
Edgier, explicit
Mars on'Jukebox'
Bruno is back, I
Forget boughs of holly-and
thread-bare stockings.
This year, the halls are
decked with scraps of paper,
limp post-its, backs of business
cards and
edges torn
from appoint-
ment notices.
'Tis the
season of
lists: wish
lists, naughty
liasts, shop- BRIANNE
ping lists, nice JOHNSON
lists, to-do
lists and lists
of lists (like this one!). After all,
on the first day of Christmas, my
true love did provide a quantita-
tive summary of every gift he'd
planned to give for the following
11 days. Whynotkeep with tradi-
tion?
But wait, don't go! From the
bottom of my jolly heart, I prom-
ise that this is not the "Best of
Politically Correct Holiday Mov-
ies" or the "Must-see Overrated
ABC Family Specials of the Next
25 Weeknights." Feel free to
peek into my mittens: no fingers
crossed.
Rather, I present a list that is
like the fruitcake of lists. Sure,
you groan now. But, freed from
the stigma of lists - and cliche
pastries - it's original in its own
way (like a Lifetime movie). I
mean, how often is a hunk of
fruitcake served with Gram's
yams? Folded in tin foil by a clue-
less relative? Exactly. Appreciate
this list, like fruitcake, for its
rarity ... if not for its at-least-you-
tried ambition.
Come Dasher, Dancer, Prancer
and Vixen! Strap into those North
Faces, here we go! Allow me to
introduce the only list you'll need
this season: Five ways to make
the most of your winter break,
inspired by the best - and the
worst - of holiday movies.
Reinvent yourself: One
should die and reincarnate as
something fun, flirty and/or
heart-warming. Jack Frost did
it. Ashle
maybe'
Pretty L
did it, a
late. Bu
Who ha
day sch
through
aunts w
their bo
of matc
the who
from Ru
balloon
- embr
is all ab
plan tot
ing.snov
Itf
to 11
C
Spre
ond day
Tuesda3
your pe:
and fest
Enter or
town, re
ants' rel
animate
Like Jac
Nightm
you sho
with str
bogeym
masked
in a pin-
doll you
remaind
broodin
refuse t
viable h
ceed to
Grinch,
cry like
Whovil]
spread a
it away.
Try s
a drunk
flagpole
ey Benson did it (OK, so permint frappucino, if the task
"Christmas Cupid" isn't a is too much. Oh, the cold! Oh,
ittle classic). Even Jesus the laughter! Better yet, gather
lbeit fashionably months your closest mean girlfriends for
t death is exhausting. the school talent show, slip into
is time in that hectic holi- those sexy costumes and follow
edule to accompany Dante Lindsay Lohan's lead as she belts
nine circles of great- out "Jingle Bell Rock." You're no
ith cameras slung across Regina George, but it doesn't hurt
uncingbosoms, and pairs to try.
,hing reindeer antlers for Change the world: Post "Elf"
ale family? Take a note quotes to your Twitter feed
adolph or the bearded and until the spiritof Christmas is
ing Tim Allen's Saint Nick restored. Listen, times are tough
ace change. The New Year at the North Pole. Glaciers are
out the new; if you don't melting, Tim Allen is inching
reinvent yourself as atalk- toward age 60 and 76 percent of
wman, what's the point? elves'jobs have been outsourced
to China. Think of it as one small
tweet for man, one giant leap for
mythical, cultural icon-kind. You
did it for KONY 2012 - now do it
ook a lot like for Santa.
Set aside time for self-reflec-
hristnmas.' tion: Maybe it's the year to finally
* commit to quittingthe corn cob
pipe. Have you returned Little
Timmy's dinner invitation?.How
ad the cheer: On the sec- much money should you invest in
of Christmas, Hanukkah, Macaulay Culkin's psychological
y or laundry day, impose therapy since you lost him again?
rsonal holidaytraditions As the number of days left in
ivities (Cue sleigh bells! 2012 dwindles, such questions'
rnaments!) on your home- are important when drafting
egardless of its inhabit- the list of resolutions that you
igion, race, age, sex and will undoubtedly forget to fol-
d stop-motion status. low. Burrow into some blankets,
:k Skellington of "The admire the glow of your iPad's
are Before Christmas," virtual fireplace and ponder the
auld strangle shingles true meaning of the season. Go
ings of bulbs, battle the ahead and indulge - reflection is
an and his meddling, a gift in itself.
henchmen and do it all . There you have it: the perfect
stripe suit with the rag holiday vacation, made easy by
love. Then, spend the five simple steps and a massive
der of your winter break DVD collection. Though I take no
g because your friends responsibility for those who par-
o accept "Nightmare" as a take in my suggestions, I recom-
oliday movie option. Pro- mend they look at the bright side
steal Christmas a la "The - whether you shoot your eye out
"and watch your friends or lose the Holiday Cheermeister
the ungrateful, little crown to Jim Carrey in hairy,
le Whos that they are. So, green prosthetics, at least it's one
he cheer ... and then take more check off the list. Right?
dirtier than fans
might desire
By GREGORY HICKS
Daily Arts Writer
Bruno Mars is exceedingly
talented - no denying that.
And for quite a while, it seemed
as though he
was steering
his artistry in
a delectable Bruno Mars
direction, espe-
cially for 21st Unorthodox
century pop. Jukebox
The "Just the
Way You Are" Atlantic
singer was a
sweetheart who pranced around
making his reggae pop, caus-
ing 14-year-old girls to swoon
worldwide.
But those same tweens will
be asking their mothers what it
means to be "fucking like goril-
las" soon after picking up their
copy of Unorthodox Jukebox.
Doo-Wops & Hooligans wasn't
exactly a G-rated album, but
the hike in explicitness on this
sophomore album is enough
to make you wonder if Mars is
attempting the grotesque edgi-
ness of Kanye West or Tyler, The
Creator.
Originality is in the ear of the
beholder, however, and for those
who have never sampled The
Police, the record's lead single
"Locked Out of Heaven" is a new
sound indeed. Sting aside, the
song is contemporary, danceable
and holds a No. 2 spot on the Hot
100, despite the lack of sexual
artistic subtleties when "the sex
takes (him) to paradise."
"Young Girls" explores Mars's
attraction to the demographic of
ATLANTIC
"Hey girl." *wink*
his debut album - a track that's
short and to the point: "Young
wild girls make a mess" of people
like Bruno Mars. But let's not
ruin the simplicity of the track by
diving into the legality of it all.
Mars channels Michael Jack-
son in the album, but in more
ways than hitting it off with the
adolescent members of society.
"Natalie," the not-so-long lostsis-
ter of "Dirty Diana," is a similarly
caustic tale of a girl who took
things too far. It's a well-played
formula. Shout a name in hatred,
follow up with something they
did and, of course, repeat.
Sure, there's familiarity in the
musical style of the album, but
it's nothing familiar with the 21st
century. Also, the hint of reggae
developed from Mars's own pro-
duction team "The Smeezing-
tons" gives Unorthodox Jukebox
the Bruno Mars sound, and that
holds the foremost importance in
his artistry. For instance, "Show
Me" might be in the same vulgar
pool as the album's other tracks,
but at least the native Hawaiian
artist digs into his roots to create
a distinct reggae-sleaze groove.
Bob Marley's. approval of this
song is pending.
Mars jumped from previous
hits like "The Lazy Song" - a
catchy tune seemingly inspired
by every Barney and Friends
soundtrack since 1992 - to tell-
ing his "Treasure" that she's "a
sexy motherfucker" in the dance-
ready, funk-pop jam. The contrast
generated between his previous
hits and recent work is a tad dis-
tasteful, and creepy as well.
Bruno Mars wants to run
with the big dogs and ditch his
female-dominated demograph-
ic, quite understandably. But
Mars is the complete package
- singer, dancer, writer, pro-
ducer - and is far too talented
to shoot for cheap shock tac-
tics, especially this early in his
career. Then again, it's better
to be a try-hard than a sellout.
Fortunately, the quality songs
and fairly distinguished style of
Unorthodox Jukebox mask many
of the bizarre sexual overtones.
omething new: Dare
en friend to french a
- or the side of a pep-
Johnson is dreaming of a
white Christmas. To join her,
e-mail briannen@umich.edu.
ALBUM REVIEW
Big Boi holds his own
By JOHN LYNCH
Daily Arts Writer
It's very possible that Antwan
Patton - a.k.a. Big Boi, one half
of the separated rap supergroup,
OutKast - will
never have
another No.
1 hit. Thanks Big Boi
to the fleeting
interest of Pat- Vicious Lies
ton's genius and Dangerous
(yet frustrat- Rumors
ingly enig-
matic) partner, Def Jam
Andre 3000,
the world may never again hear
the dominant duo that produced
game changing, chart-topping
songs like "Ms. Jackson" and
"The Way You Move."
One listen through his second
solo album, Vicious Lies and Dan-
gerous Rumors, however, proves
that Big Boi can still revolution-
ize the rap game without Andre
or a hit single. Rather than shoot
for the top of the charts with
his songs - which, nowadays,
seems to require a Rihanna hook,
a 2 Chainz feature and several
will.i.am adlibs on a track - Big
Boi has quietly forged a cohesive
and singular rap album through
unexpected collaboration and
bold experimentation.
With a guest list that ranges
from rappers like Kid Cudi and
T.I. to indie bands like Phanto-
gram and Little Dragon, VLADR
is a sonic melting pot of voices,
verses and upbeat,electronic pro-
duction. The album is a textured,
colorful platformthatwonderful-
ly complements Big Boi's vibrant,
southern-drawl flow - which has
been consistently on point since
the first minutes of Southernplay-
alisticadillacmuzik in'94.
On the poignant track, "She
Hates Me," Cudi fits in seam-
lessly and puts forth one of the
best hooks of his career as Big
Boi gives a personal, poetic view
of an unconventional baby mama
drama. The B.o.B. and Wavves
Setting fashion trends since 1975.
featured song, "Shoes For Run- their three featured songs are the
ning," works surprisingly well album's standout tracks. The fan-
and (ironically) recalls OutKast's tastic production on "Objectum
single, "B.O.B. (Bombs Over Sexuality" and "CPU" is similar
Baghdad)," with its political con- to that of Phantogram's recent
tent and lightning-paced, guitar- EP, Nightlife, with a darker sound
led beat. and harder hip-hop drums. Phan-
togram singer Sarah Barthel's
vocals work impressively well on
e rall three tracks, especially over
Y the enthralling, alternating beats
smell like p of the A$AP Rocky featured sin-
poo e 900 gle, "Lines."
Poo0 After being consistently pro-
P p00. gressive and compelling through
the first 11 tracks, VLADR nearly
falls off its rails in the last three.
The track that best exempli- On "Raspberries" and "Descend-
fies VLADR's captivating collab- ing," it seems like Big Boi was
orative spirit is "Thom Pettie," falling asleep in the booth while
which perfectly juxtaposes the recording his vocals, which turn
gentle vocals of Little Dragon's out to be gibberish essentially,
Yukimi Nagano with a grimy, and the off-key hook on "Tre-
Dirty South beat and vicious rap- mendous Damage" is by far the
ping from Big Boi and his fellow weakest moment on the album.
Atlantan, Killer Mike. Similarly, Andre 3000 is not on Vicious
the fittingly titled "In The A," Lies and Dangerous Rumors. This
features Atlanta rappers T.I. and is not an OutKast album. This is
Ludacris trading ruthless verses simply the hard work and dedica-
with Big Boi over a menacing trap tion of one man who played Pip-
beat. pen to Andrd's Jordan for years.
Phantogram, an electro-pop This is that man's second victory
duo from New York, has a major lap in two years. I'm sorry, Ms.
influence on VLADR's sound, and Jackson. Big Boi's for real.