The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Tuesday, December 11, 2012 - 7 The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Tuesday, December 11, 2D12 - 7 FILM COLUMN A movie guide to living through the holidays ALBUM REVIEW Edgier, explicit Mars on'Jukebox' Bruno is back, I Forget boughs of holly-and thread-bare stockings. This year, the halls are decked with scraps of paper, limp post-its, backs of business cards and edges torn from appoint- ment notices. 'Tis the season of lists: wish lists, naughty liasts, shop- BRIANNE ping lists, nice JOHNSON lists, to-do lists and lists of lists (like this one!). After all, on the first day of Christmas, my true love did provide a quantita- tive summary of every gift he'd planned to give for the following 11 days. Whynotkeep with tradi- tion? But wait, don't go! From the bottom of my jolly heart, I prom- ise that this is not the "Best of Politically Correct Holiday Mov- ies" or the "Must-see Overrated ABC Family Specials of the Next 25 Weeknights." Feel free to peek into my mittens: no fingers crossed. Rather, I present a list that is like the fruitcake of lists. Sure, you groan now. But, freed from the stigma of lists - and cliche pastries - it's original in its own way (like a Lifetime movie). I mean, how often is a hunk of fruitcake served with Gram's yams? Folded in tin foil by a clue- less relative? Exactly. Appreciate this list, like fruitcake, for its rarity ... if not for its at-least-you- tried ambition. Come Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen! Strap into those North Faces, here we go! Allow me to introduce the only list you'll need this season: Five ways to make the most of your winter break, inspired by the best - and the worst - of holiday movies. Reinvent yourself: One should die and reincarnate as something fun, flirty and/or heart-warming. Jack Frost did it. Ashle maybe' Pretty L did it, a late. Bu Who ha day sch through aunts w their bo of matc the who from Ru balloon - embr is all ab plan tot ing.snov Itf to 11 C Spre ond day Tuesda3 your pe: and fest Enter or town, re ants' rel animate Like Jac Nightm you sho with str bogeym masked in a pin- doll you remaind broodin refuse t viable h ceed to Grinch, cry like Whovil] spread a it away. Try s a drunk flagpole ey Benson did it (OK, so permint frappucino, if the task "Christmas Cupid" isn't a is too much. Oh, the cold! Oh, ittle classic). Even Jesus the laughter! Better yet, gather lbeit fashionably months your closest mean girlfriends for t death is exhausting. the school talent show, slip into is time in that hectic holi- those sexy costumes and follow edule to accompany Dante Lindsay Lohan's lead as she belts nine circles of great- out "Jingle Bell Rock." You're no ith cameras slung across Regina George, but it doesn't hurt uncingbosoms, and pairs to try. ,hing reindeer antlers for Change the world: Post "Elf" ale family? Take a note quotes to your Twitter feed adolph or the bearded and until the spiritof Christmas is ing Tim Allen's Saint Nick restored. Listen, times are tough ace change. The New Year at the North Pole. Glaciers are out the new; if you don't melting, Tim Allen is inching reinvent yourself as atalk- toward age 60 and 76 percent of wman, what's the point? elves'jobs have been outsourced to China. Think of it as one small tweet for man, one giant leap for mythical, cultural icon-kind. You did it for KONY 2012 - now do it ook a lot like for Santa. Set aside time for self-reflec- hristnmas.' tion: Maybe it's the year to finally * commit to quittingthe corn cob pipe. Have you returned Little Timmy's dinner invitation?.How ad the cheer: On the sec- much money should you invest in of Christmas, Hanukkah, Macaulay Culkin's psychological y or laundry day, impose therapy since you lost him again? rsonal holidaytraditions As the number of days left in ivities (Cue sleigh bells! 2012 dwindles, such questions' rnaments!) on your home- are important when drafting egardless of its inhabit- the list of resolutions that you igion, race, age, sex and will undoubtedly forget to fol- d stop-motion status. low. Burrow into some blankets, :k Skellington of "The admire the glow of your iPad's are Before Christmas," virtual fireplace and ponder the auld strangle shingles true meaning of the season. Go ings of bulbs, battle the ahead and indulge - reflection is an and his meddling, a gift in itself. henchmen and do it all . There you have it: the perfect stripe suit with the rag holiday vacation, made easy by love. Then, spend the five simple steps and a massive der of your winter break DVD collection. Though I take no g because your friends responsibility for those who par- o accept "Nightmare" as a take in my suggestions, I recom- oliday movie option. Pro- mend they look at the bright side steal Christmas a la "The - whether you shoot your eye out "and watch your friends or lose the Holiday Cheermeister the ungrateful, little crown to Jim Carrey in hairy, le Whos that they are. So, green prosthetics, at least it's one he cheer ... and then take more check off the list. Right? dirtier than fans might desire By GREGORY HICKS Daily Arts Writer Bruno Mars is exceedingly talented - no denying that. And for quite a while, it seemed as though he was steering his artistry in a delectable Bruno Mars direction, espe- cially for 21st Unorthodox century pop. Jukebox The "Just the Way You Are" Atlantic singer was a sweetheart who pranced around making his reggae pop, caus- ing 14-year-old girls to swoon worldwide. But those same tweens will be asking their mothers what it means to be "fucking like goril- las" soon after picking up their copy of Unorthodox Jukebox. Doo-Wops & Hooligans wasn't exactly a G-rated album, but the hike in explicitness on this sophomore album is enough to make you wonder if Mars is attempting the grotesque edgi- ness of Kanye West or Tyler, The Creator. Originality is in the ear of the beholder, however, and for those who have never sampled The Police, the record's lead single "Locked Out of Heaven" is a new sound indeed. Sting aside, the song is contemporary, danceable and holds a No. 2 spot on the Hot 100, despite the lack of sexual artistic subtleties when "the sex takes (him) to paradise." "Young Girls" explores Mars's attraction to the demographic of ATLANTIC "Hey girl." *wink* his debut album - a track that's short and to the point: "Young wild girls make a mess" of people like Bruno Mars. But let's not ruin the simplicity of the track by diving into the legality of it all. Mars channels Michael Jack- son in the album, but in more ways than hitting it off with the adolescent members of society. "Natalie," the not-so-long lostsis- ter of "Dirty Diana," is a similarly caustic tale of a girl who took things too far. It's a well-played formula. Shout a name in hatred, follow up with something they did and, of course, repeat. Sure, there's familiarity in the musical style of the album, but it's nothing familiar with the 21st century. Also, the hint of reggae developed from Mars's own pro- duction team "The Smeezing- tons" gives Unorthodox Jukebox the Bruno Mars sound, and that holds the foremost importance in his artistry. For instance, "Show Me" might be in the same vulgar pool as the album's other tracks, but at least the native Hawaiian artist digs into his roots to create a distinct reggae-sleaze groove. Bob Marley's. approval of this song is pending. Mars jumped from previous hits like "The Lazy Song" - a catchy tune seemingly inspired by every Barney and Friends soundtrack since 1992 - to tell- ing his "Treasure" that she's "a sexy motherfucker" in the dance- ready, funk-pop jam. The contrast generated between his previous hits and recent work is a tad dis- tasteful, and creepy as well. Bruno Mars wants to run with the big dogs and ditch his female-dominated demograph- ic, quite understandably. But Mars is the complete package - singer, dancer, writer, pro- ducer - and is far too talented to shoot for cheap shock tac- tics, especially this early in his career. Then again, it's better to be a try-hard than a sellout. Fortunately, the quality songs and fairly distinguished style of Unorthodox Jukebox mask many of the bizarre sexual overtones. omething new: Dare en friend to french a - or the side of a pep- Johnson is dreaming of a white Christmas. To join her, e-mail briannen@umich.edu. ALBUM REVIEW Big Boi holds his own By JOHN LYNCH Daily Arts Writer It's very possible that Antwan Patton - a.k.a. Big Boi, one half of the separated rap supergroup, OutKast - will never have another No. 1 hit. Thanks Big Boi to the fleeting interest of Pat- Vicious Lies ton's genius and Dangerous (yet frustrat- Rumors ingly enig- matic) partner, Def Jam Andre 3000, the world may never again hear the dominant duo that produced game changing, chart-topping songs like "Ms. Jackson" and "The Way You Move." One listen through his second solo album, Vicious Lies and Dan- gerous Rumors, however, proves that Big Boi can still revolution- ize the rap game without Andre or a hit single. Rather than shoot for the top of the charts with his songs - which, nowadays, seems to require a Rihanna hook, a 2 Chainz feature and several will.i.am adlibs on a track - Big Boi has quietly forged a cohesive and singular rap album through unexpected collaboration and bold experimentation. With a guest list that ranges from rappers like Kid Cudi and T.I. to indie bands like Phanto- gram and Little Dragon, VLADR is a sonic melting pot of voices, verses and upbeat,electronic pro- duction. The album is a textured, colorful platformthatwonderful- ly complements Big Boi's vibrant, southern-drawl flow - which has been consistently on point since the first minutes of Southernplay- alisticadillacmuzik in'94. On the poignant track, "She Hates Me," Cudi fits in seam- lessly and puts forth one of the best hooks of his career as Big Boi gives a personal, poetic view of an unconventional baby mama drama. The B.o.B. and Wavves Setting fashion trends since 1975. featured song, "Shoes For Run- their three featured songs are the ning," works surprisingly well album's standout tracks. The fan- and (ironically) recalls OutKast's tastic production on "Objectum single, "B.O.B. (Bombs Over Sexuality" and "CPU" is similar Baghdad)," with its political con- to that of Phantogram's recent tent and lightning-paced, guitar- EP, Nightlife, with a darker sound led beat. and harder hip-hop drums. Phan- togram singer Sarah Barthel's vocals work impressively well on e rall three tracks, especially over Y the enthralling, alternating beats smell like p of the A$AP Rocky featured sin- poo e 900 gle, "Lines." Poo0 After being consistently pro- P p00. gressive and compelling through the first 11 tracks, VLADR nearly falls off its rails in the last three. The track that best exempli- On "Raspberries" and "Descend- fies VLADR's captivating collab- ing," it seems like Big Boi was orative spirit is "Thom Pettie," falling asleep in the booth while which perfectly juxtaposes the recording his vocals, which turn gentle vocals of Little Dragon's out to be gibberish essentially, Yukimi Nagano with a grimy, and the off-key hook on "Tre- Dirty South beat and vicious rap- mendous Damage" is by far the ping from Big Boi and his fellow weakest moment on the album. Atlantan, Killer Mike. Similarly, Andre 3000 is not on Vicious the fittingly titled "In The A," Lies and Dangerous Rumors. This features Atlanta rappers T.I. and is not an OutKast album. This is Ludacris trading ruthless verses simply the hard work and dedica- with Big Boi over a menacing trap tion of one man who played Pip- beat. pen to Andrd's Jordan for years. Phantogram, an electro-pop This is that man's second victory duo from New York, has a major lap in two years. I'm sorry, Ms. influence on VLADR's sound, and Jackson. Big Boi's for real.