The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
Monday, September 26, 2011-- 7A
The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Monday, September 26, 2011 - 7A
TV/NEW MEDIA COLUMN
How not to crash apilot
EXHIBIT EXTRAS
Colossal collections
At the start of "Pulp Fic-
tion," as Jules (Samuel
L. Jackson) and Vincent
(John Travolta) engage in an
extended dialogue about "le Big
Macs" and
foot massages
en route to
their early
morning hit
job, Jules
perfectly
summarizes
the television
development KAVI
process: SHEKHAR
"Well, the PANDEY
way they
make shows
is, they make one show. That
show's called a pilot. Then they
show that show to the people
who make shows, and on the
strength of that one show they
decide if they're going to make
more shows. Some pilots get
picked and become television
programs. Some don't, become
nothing. She starred in one of
the ones that became nothing."
The "she" in question is Mrs.
Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman),
wife of the pair's boss, who par-
ticipated in the failed pilot "Fox
Force Five." Assuredly, the pilot
sounded terrible, but what if it
wasn't? What if it was absolute
dynamite, the seed of an Emmy
dynasty? Does anyone really
know besides the creative staff, a
few executives and a handful of
test audiences?
The answer was "no" in 1994
and 17 years later, it's still a
resounding "no." A group of suits
still decides which pilots are
picked up based on God-knows-
what (possible explanations:
personal preferences, extrapola-
tion of test data, CEO shtupping
the lead actress). The media
landscape has evolved astonish-
ingly in the last two decades, but
the simple process of choosing
which pilots get picked up has
not. And that's bad for every-
body.
Here's my proposal: Post the
pilots online - be it Hulu, You-
Tube or the networks' own web-
sites - and let the public sample
the fare, allowing viewers the
FILM REVIEW
i
powers of rating and comment-
ing. Networks can gauge the
popular reaction to their shows,
identifying the surefire success-
es, the dead-on-arrival disasters
and the ones nobody gives two
shits about. By dodging potential
turkeys, networks would avoid
the costs of picking the stink-
ers up to series, buying titanic
Times Square billboards to mar-
ket them and using up prime real
estate on their schedules.
Take the case of "Lone Star,"
the FOX show all the critics
were drooling over last fall.
Despite the rabid acclaim and a
plum post-"House" timeslot on
Monday nights, it premiered to a
paltry 4.1 million viewers. After
dropping to an audience of just
3.2 million for its second episode,
the show was promptly canceled,
leaving who-knows-how-much
in sunk marketing and produc-
tion costs alongside the oppor-
tunity cost of picking up "Lone
Star" over all the other pilots
that could have been successful
in its place. If the pilot had been
placed online in advance, maybe
FOX would have noticed that
nobody gives two shits about a
network show about a con man
living two separate lives.
But wait! There's more - this
game plan would also generate
free publicity for the networks,
getting viewers jazzed for future
episodes and spreading the
word to their social networks
months in advance. Add to that
the feeling of attachment and
satisfaction from seeing a show
you championed making it asa
series, shepherding a pilot out of
the Valley of Darkness and into
the fall schedule.
Speculations as to why net-
works would be resistant to
this idea are sparse. The main
possibility is that networks
want to preserve the element of
surprise, ensuring that viewers
turn up in big numbers during
premiere weeks to please the,
advertisers. But as an executive
or an ad man, I'd rather leave
viewers unsurprised for the first
episode than wake up the next
morning and learn my series
just tanked in the ratings. If
movies are 100-meter dashes,
then TV shows are marathons,
and it's more important to have
gas in the tank throughout
than blow it all on a quick start.
(Anyone remember "FlashFor-
ward"? Anyone?)
Thefutoncritic.com has a list
of all the pilots that failed to get
picked up this season, including
the FOX comic book adapta-
tion "Locke & Key" (which
screened at Comic-Con to rave
reviews), NBC's magical-crime-
fighting "17th Precinct" (to fill
that "Harry Potter" hole in our
hearts), FOX's Ethan Hawke-
starring action thriller "Exit
Strategy" (to fill that "24" hole
in our hearts) and NBC's "Won-
der Woman." There is a "Won-
der Woman" pilot, produced
by David E. Kelley ("Boston
Legal") and starring Adrianne
Palicki ("Friday Night Lights"),
and the public doesn't have
access to it - a crime against
humanity if I've ever seen one.
Ezekiel 25:17 -
"And thou shalt
put thy pilots
on Hulu."
The point is, hundreds of
creative minds were hard at
work producing all those pilots
and the fruits of their labor will
never see the light of day. So
networks, please put your pilots
online. If anything, doit for
the directors, actors, writers,
set-constructors and key grips.
And do it for Mia Wallace, who
wouldn't have ended up as the
wife of a gangster and a cocaine
addict had "Fox Force Five"
been picked up. OK, she prob-
ably would have. Now excuse me
while I assemble my team to per-
form a bit of the old Inception on
some television executives.
Pandey is casting for "Fox Force
Five." To supply headshots, e-mail
him at kspandey@umich.edu.
Exhibits are just
the start for 'U'
museum holdings
By LUCY PERKINS
Daily Arts Writer
"You'll see on my left that
there are falcon and hawk mum-
mies," said Sebastian Encina,
Collections Manager of the
Kelsey Museum of Archeology,
on a tour of the collections room.
"We have other mummies too -
two humans as well as a cat and a
bird that are both on display."
These mummies make up
a miniscule fraction of the
Kelsey's collection, which rolls
in at around 110,000 pieces
- just enough to fill the Big
House. And that's just one of a
total of seven on-campus muse-
ums - the University is home
to Museums of Natural History,
Anthropology, Paleontology,
Zoology, Dentistry and Art.
"Our collections focus on
classical art and archeology
which is, broadly speaking,
Roman, Greek, Egyptian, Medi-
terranean and Near Eastern,"
Encina said. "They came from
mostly excavated sites, primar-
ily from Egypt."
According to Encina, at any
given time only some 2,000
pieces are on display, equating to
less than two percent of Kelsey's
entire collection. It sounds
small, but it's an impressive
amount considering how large
the entire collection is.
Across State Street at the Uni-
versity of Michigan Museum of
Art, one can find similar statis-
tics.
According to Orian Neumann,
Chief Registrar of Collections
and Exhibitions at UMMA, the
art collection has a total of more
than 19,000 works - and it's still
growing.
"But, we can only display
2,000 pieces of our collection,"
Neumann said.
Ruth Slavin, the education
and curatorial Deputy Director
of UMMA, spoke to the broad-
ness of UMMA's collection.
"We have an extensive collec-
tion of Korean pottery and Asian
paintings and art," she said. "It's
really a large scope of everything
from areas all over the world."
According to Slavin, UMMA
is one of the leading university
museums in the country, even
though the University's collec-
tion is smaller than Harvard's or
Yale's.
Slavin explained that one of
the ways UMMA has increased
the amount of work it can have
on display is through "open stor-
age," a term coined by many mod-
FILE PHOTO/Daily
Visitors to UMMA can see only 2,000 pieces from a collectionof over 19,000.
ern museums. This refers to the
use of tables that display several
pieces on top of each, but also
have drawers that can be pulled
out to see other related works.
"Where once there were five
works of art, there's now 50,"
Neumann said. "Instead of put-
ting things extremely selectively
in a case or on a wall, we have a
dense display that allows you to
see more."
Unfortunately, even through
the use of innovative displays,
UMMA can only have just over
10 percent of its burgeoning col-
lection on exhibition. So where
does everything not on display
go?
At both the Kelsey Museum
and UMMA, recent museum
expansions now provide new
storage facilities that house
everything not a part of a cur-
rent exhibit.
Encina continued the tour
of the underground collec-
tions room, located beneath
the Upjohn Wing, which was
completed in 2008. The walls
are lined by rows of 80 airtight
metal cabinets that stretch well
beyond one's head.
Each cabinet in the climate-
controlled storage facility has
big, round silver handles and
can only be unlocked with one of
Encina's many color-coded keys.
Opening a cabinet at the end
of the first aisle, Encina pulled
out a drawer to reveal ancient
Islamic vessels with small holes
at the mouth that served as a
water filter.
At the end of the second aisle,
Encina pressed several beeping
buttons and arrows on a key-
pad. Reminiscent of the moving
staircases in Hogwarts, rows of
cabinets suddenly began gliding
away from one another, creat-
ing an aisle where cabinets were
crammed together just moments
before.
According to Slavin, mod-
ern storage technology like this
exists at UMMA as well, and is
vital to the accessibility of col-
lections.
"We're part of a major
research university, and accessi-
bility to our collections has great
benefit to teaching," Slavin said.
Although it seems exhibits
hardly scratch the surface of
the multitudes these museums
have to offer, there are ways to
see more than what's behind the
glass displays.
Because of the storage system
that UMMA has acquired, pro-
fessors and scholars are able to
request viewings of specific art-
works that previously would be
more difficult to retrieve.
According to Neumann, pro-
fessors will often request visits
to UMMA with their classes to
have a more hands-on experi-
ence with objects from the time
periods they're learning about.
With the Museum's expansion,
these groups can now study
pieces from UMMA's collection
in one of two private classrooms,
making for an exciting learning
experience.
"You get to be very up close
with them," Neumann said.
"Students don't believe it's the
real thing."
The focus of education plays
a key role in the mission of both
the Kelsey Museum and UMMA.
Though the majority of their col-
lections are hidden at the end of
hallways behind cabinet doors,
they're never lost.
I
Nothing but abs in Abduction
By JOE DIMUZIO
DailyArts Writer
Within 10 minutes of the open-
ing credits of "Abduction," Taylor
Lautner's shirt is off. For the mov-
ie's next hour
and a half of
gunfire, explo-
sions and chase Abduction
sequences, he
may as well AtQuality16
have gone nude. and Rave
Because
"Abduction" is Lionsgate
nothing more
than the ensemble sound of cash
registers collectively ringing.
It's a sexless and criminally dull
attempt to prove that a Tiger
(Wolf?) Beat idol can carry a
movie, bust the proverbial blocks
and score John Singleton some
brownie points with his daughter.
Billed as an action thrill-
er, "Abduction" is basically a
tweenage riff on the "Bourne"
series, without a thistle or thorn
in the formula. Lautner ("The
Twilight Saga: Eclipse") plays a
high schooler (with a lot of indi-
gestion and squinting) who finds
out that his folks, Maria Bello
("Beautiful Boy") and Jason
Isaacs ("Harry Potter" series)
aren't actually his folks and that
a gang of anonymous Slavic ter-
rorists (Liam Neeson-standard
action villains), led by a disen-
gaged Michael Nyqvist ("The
Girl Who Played With Fire")
want him dead. With obligatory
"hottie" Lily Collins ("Priest")
in tow, he runs, jumps, drives
and slides around Pittsburgh
on-the-run, under CIA surveil-
lance (of course), with an elderly
Sigourney Weaver ("Paul") and
Alfred Molina ("The Sorcerer's
Apprentice") putting on their
serious faces for all the exposi-
tion,happily cashing in.
At this point, it's safe to con-
clude Singleton's career (and
"Boyz 'N The Hood") is a fluke.
A mellow 'Submarine'
Taylor Lautner is bothered.
Directing without a single hint human Shiba Inu - cute, but
of interest, "Abduction" can't far too harmless to be treated
muster anything above basic with anything more than a pat
cable. It's relentless softcore, on the head and some baby talk.
without a single laugh, charm or Taylor hasn't got the charisma
moment of suspense. Visually, to carry a picture like this. He's
it's cold, the action's perfunctory admirably doing all his own
stunts here (are we impressed
by that anymore?), barking seri-
Team Jacob ously when the script calls for it
and clearly giving it his all. But
forfeits. even Team Jacob would call out
"Abduction" for a put-down. Not
because of its bite, but out of
mercy.
and the chase sequences cull up In this country's crotch-
as much thrill as the penny horse fear, Taylor's one of too many
at Meijer. Shawn Christensen's young adults we'll ogle for half
(newcomer to Hollywood and a decade and discard when the
lead singer of Stelastarr) script new model comes along. He'll
is edgeless and loaded with its languish on primetime and we'll
share of laughably inept lines, see "Abduction" included in a
cumbersome exposition and plot double-DVD pack in our Wal-
holes. Mart future, finding ourselves
At the eye of this shitstorm hard-pressed to confess that our
is Lautner, whose bid for Tom metabolism's slowed and real-
Cruise-dom can't even merit izing, for a moment, that maybe
a Keanu. He doesn't have the we are all to blame for this $35
humor to be, either. Taylor's a million mistake.
By SEAN CZARNECKI
Daily Arts Writer
Under the influence of any
director and not first-timer Rich-
ard Ayoade, "Submarine" could
have regressed
into a conceited *
piece of machin-
ery. Thankfully, Submarine
what is deliv-
ered is a soulful At the
work, whose Michigan
substance is The Weinstein
empowered by Company
its style.
Ayoade confi-
dently leads his audience forward
through this coming-of-age tale
about a Welsh teenager named
Oliver Tate, played by an excellent
Craig Roberts ("Young Dracula").
As a boy caught in between social
alienation and an emotionless
marriage, Roberts is able to con-
vey the heaviness of a tired soul
and the naive romanticism of a
teenager. He is full of confusion
and angst, looking only to sub-
merge himself in the scene - like
a "submarine."
This submarine metaphor can
be found throughout the entire
film, embodying his helplessness
and pain, and itelevates the entire
story. Like a submarine, Oliver is
unseen. He observes and com-
mentates,providingasardonically
humorous voice amid his parents'
crumbling marriage that proves
to be immediate and insightful.
But these innermost thoughts are
impossible to express because he
is a timid, awkward boy. He lives
in a world that is underwater, bur-
ied beneath his fear and his inabil-
ity to properly communicate.
Created by a director bent on
style and laughs, "Submarine"
could have deteriorated into a
raunchy mess made simply of
characters and easy punchlines.
Ayoade wisely avoids this pitfall.
Without grandiose voice-overs
from Hollywood names, but with
a witty script, talented leads and
energetic style, Ayoade sinks the
audience to the depths of Oliver,
presenting a film told squarely
from the point of view of his
complex but ultimately likeable
personality.
Ayoade's camera urgently
moves and swoops through each
frame that mimics Oliver's anxi-
ety and anger, and respectfully
stops to freeze tender moments
without any of the titillation
many films refuse to pass over.
Title screens are ushered in
alongside mockingly dramatic
music. Oliver's narration is pres-
ent throughout the film, but it
is hardly intruding. These ele-
ments work with each other in
a cohesive manner and do not at
all compete with one another.
They offer humanity, allowing
"Submarine" to succeed as both
a fresh, dark drama and a roman-
tic comedy. It's an immersive tale
with each of its scenes colored
with techniques that never strike
the viewer as pretentious or
indulgent. This is merely a vision
of a very real reality, whose fea-
tures are enhanced solely for the
purpose of bringing the charac-
ters directly to the audience.
Film floats
on acting and
camera work.
"Submarine" delivers truths
of childhood and adolescence
that very few could deny mat-
ter or exist. While this film is
only an adaptation of a novel by
Jon Dunthorne and not truly
Ayoade's original creation, his
ability to present the charac-
ters within the frame of the sil-
ver screen is nothing short of
impressive. One could think of
it as a skillful balance between
realism and surrealism, or com-
edyversus drama - or maybe it's
just great storytelling.