6 - Friday, March 11, 2011
The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
6 - Friday, March 11, 2011 The Michigan Daily - michigandalycom
A
Cage's latest movie from 3-D hell
'Drive Angry' is a and earned another nomination sucks. Blame for that lies at the trashy and charmingly over- of these, it takes old plot poi
for "Adaptation." feet of writer-director Patrick the-top, it could've been a Rob- and spins them as new inform
typical Nicholas Today, however, he's a punch- Lussier ("My Bloody Valentine") ert Rodriguez-style exploitation tion. We see Milton escapi
line associated with hack work and co-screenwriter Todd Farm- film, full of sex, explosions and from Hell in the film's openi
Cage crapfest like "The Wicker Man." We may er ("The Messengers"), whose car chases. Instead, it's a hor- minutes, but halfway throui
ints
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By DAVID TAO wrong - it could've been the
DailyFilm Editor dozens of properties he fore-
closed on, his tax problems
t seems like forever ago, or the fact that he loves drop-
Cage was an up-and- ping money he doesn't have on
star. Sure, his uncle is the things he can't afford. Still, to
arable audiences, the fact remains that
Ford * Cage's latest films are phoned-in
a ("The paycheck jobs, which he takes to
her," Dre keep the IRS happy and himself
ose that out of prison. "Drive Angry 3D"
remind- AIl 3D is the latest stopgap between him
nd yes, At Quality16 and the slammer, and it certainly
say have and Rave fits the profile. Utterly devoid of
nepotism originality, plausibility and tech-
d - but Summit nical competence, the movie is
(or in quite possibly a career low for
if) Cage's presence, his Cage, which, considering his
ave clawed their way to recent filmography, is an accom-
ressive 24 Oscar nomina- plishment in and of itself.
le won one of those naked Then again, while it's Cage's
statues for his perfor- fault that the movie exists, it's
in "Leaving Las Vegas" not really his fault that the movie
screenplay seems like the work
of a disturbed middle school stu-
dent.
Cage's character, dubbed Mil-
ton in a lazy reference to "Para-
dise Lost," escapes from Hell
with a muscle car and a trunk
full of guns. He plans on rescu-
ing an infant from the clutches of
a Satanic cult led by Jonah King
(Billy Burke, "Twilight"), but
first, he gets drunk, shoots some
cops and bangs a cocktail wait-
ress, while Piper, another sexy
waitress (Amber Heard, "Never
Back Down") - who Milton res-
cues from an abusive domestic
relationship - listens in. Mean-
while, the Accountant (William
Fichtner, "Black Hawk Down"),
Hell's snarky bounty hunter,
stays hot on Milton's trail.
Actually, the premise sounds
entertaining - unabashedly
rendously shot mess of a movie,
lacking any trace of cinemat-
ic vision. The line delivery is
corny and unconvincing, grating
against the ear. The car chases
hinted at by the title are simply
wide shots of cars moving - no
cuts, no style, no anger. And with
the exception of the occasional
piece of debris hurled toward
the audience in slo-mo, the 3-D is
nowhere to be seen.
Submerged for the movie's
gruelingly long 104 minute run-
time in this septic tank of medi-
ocrity, audiences' minds will
wander toward the script, which
can't stand up to the scrutiny.
The Satanic story isn't just fan-
tastically stupid, it's full of holes,
which it tries to plug, unsuccess-
fully, by throwing surprise twist
after unbelievable surprise twist
at the audience. When it runs out
this is suddenly something new
for the audience to gawk at.
The film's one bright spot is
Fichtner's disappointingly short
turn as the Accountant. He fits
the mold of carefree badass
much more comfortably than
Cage. Impeccably dressed in
a suit and tie, he slams knives
through skulls with an emo-
tionless halfsmile, tortures the
mortally wounded in a steady
deadpan and, in one of the mov-
ie's funniest scenes, crashes a
tanker full of hydrogen fuel into
a police barricade while hum-
ming "That's the Way (I Like It)"
by KC and the Sunshine Band.
Sadly, his appearances are too
few and far between to counter-
act the tepid nature of the rest
of the movie, or the downward
gravitational pull of Cage's sink-
ing career.
HALL PASS
From Page 5
perfectly nails his role as the
token uncool father, as his
mechanical delivery borders
.on unnerving. Simply put,
the actor is at his best when
exuding the self-assured-
I'm-probably-stoned gait that
scored in "Zoolander" and
"The Royal Tenenbasums."
Fortunately, Sudeikis provides
adequate comic relief as the
clueless sidekick, believably
manifesting the borderline
bitter, average man's man title
bequeathed to Paul Rudd of
late.
Never mind that the titu-
lar "hall pass" desecrates and
trivializes the complexities
of human relationships - as
a gross-out flick, the expecta-
tion for emotional depth might
be misplaced. Even so, there
are fleeting serious moments
and moral epiphanies, but
these are such afterthoughts
that they become largely
unconvincing. The desire
is for belly-busting laughs,
which isn't met. How about a
"Kingpin 2?"
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RELEASE DATE- Friday, March 11, 2011
Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle
Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis
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801 W. Madison
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521 Walnut
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A D
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