The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
Wednesday, October 27, 2010 - 5A
Countdown show
is 'Tough' to take
'ma let you finish, but Jackson Pollock was the greatest expressionist painter of all time.
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By JACOB AXELRAD
For theDaily
From Super Delicious Productions
comes "That's Tough," a new reality series
on G4 that's a count-
down of all things - you *
guessed it - tough. Epi-
sode one takes us through "liWj'
three categories: the
world's toughest pris- TWO
ons, "little dudes" and Wednesdays
armored cars. An unseen at 8:30 p.m.
narrator describes each G4
category in detail and
experts in each respec-
tive field lend their knowledge. Videos
and re-creations are used to highlight the
selections for whatever has been chosen
as "most badass." This is an OK premise,
but there's one small drawback: the show
is, almost in its entirety, offensive.
The premise is fine - picking a catego-
ry and determining who or what stands
out within it. But what's frightening is
the system used to determine "tough-
ness." Without giving away spoilers, it's
safe to say that the show's producers have
crossed a line when it comes to what's
morally appropriate.
A heavy metal soundtrack accompa-
nied by grainy black-and-white footage
opens the episode, giving the feel of a
low-budget music video, until we learn
the first group to be judged: prisons. The
tone shifts drastically as we're taken
from Mendoza, Argentina to the Gulags
of North Korea. We're subsequently edu-
cated on what it means to be a "tough"
prison. The images and facts used in mak-
ing this deduction are hard to digest, as
they should be when the misery of human
beings is turned into a supposedly enter-
taining segment of a countdown show. Rat
infestations and death by infection are
just some of the delights that await pris-
oners at what G4 has labeled the world's
"toughest prisons." The commentary and
narration make it seem as though the
grisly details of horrific prison life are
somehow impressive, but the fact is, it's
just plain shocking that a show would use
these statistics in awarding top slots in
any type of category.
The second installment in the episode
is hardly any better. The "toughest little
dudes," as they're affectionately referred
to, are little people who revel in sadism
and "get their asses kicked." This segment
is distasteful, not because the subject mat-
ter is little people, but rather because the
winners deserve no kind of recognition.
No person, big or small, is tough because
they force their unwilling girlfriend to
shoot her eye out or get sent to prison for
assault. G4 evidently thinks otherwise.
The final portion, armored cars, is the
only interesting (read: not sickening) part
of the entire episode. From Pope Benedict
XVI's "Popemobile" to President Obama's
What should be
entertaining turns
pretty offensive.
"The Beast," vehicles are judged on dura-
bility, expense and style. If this really is
a countdown show, then this is what the
producers need to stick with - solely
objective material that doesn't run the
gamut from offensive to shocking.
While it's understandable that G4 is try-
ing to branch out further from its video-
game coverage into rival SPIKE's teritory,
the channeliscurrentlyonlyshowingitself
to be a ratings whore. If any of its future
material is as poorly conceived as "That's
Tough," there definitely needs to be a
return to the drawing board.
On'Speak Now,' Swift
takes on more celeb exes
with musical flair
By ARIELLE SPECINER
DailyArts Writer
This is a warning to all boys: If you
date Taylor Swift, expect a song to be
written about you.
When country prin-
dess Taylor Swift pens
lyrics about her pastT
r'elationships, she's
* uthless. And her third Speak Now
,ibum Speak Now is no Big Machine
exception. Swift takes
a stab at the boys she's
kissed through bittersweet lyrics that
will make you think twice about how
sweet this sugar-pop singer really is.
Since the release of 2008's Fearless,
Swift has gone through a lot. Though
rany musicians of Swift's celebrity stat-
ure may hide their public humiliations,
she chooses to sing about all of them.
Swift's candy-coated voice laces every
track of Speak Now, though some of her
lyrics may be lined with acid. On the
album, listeners take a journey through
Swift's diary, complete with intense
detail and beautiful sounds.
- Her songwriting skills on Speak Now
are at their best. She tells meaningful,
autobiographical stories fans can relate
to. Whether she's singing about under-
dogs, letters to old loves or apologizing
to people she's hurt, the Nashville native
is not afraid of telling the truth. Bottom
line, this girl's had a lot of boy trouble in
the last few years.
The gutsiest of all boy-troubled tracks
is "Dear John," a six-and-a-half-minute
overview of her brief relationship with
the infamous John Mayer. She sings
"Dear John / I see it all now that you're
gone / Don't you think I was too young
to be messed with / The girl in the dress
/ Cried the whole way home / I shoulda
known." The inclusion of Mayer-esque
guitar riffs in the beginning of the track
makes the song that much more sassy.
Another ode-to-ex-boyfriend track
is the apologetic "Back to December."
Most likely a tribute to her ex-beau Tay-
lor Lautner, "December" is graced with
a string section reminiscent of. a cold,
December night. On the track, Swift
showcases her vocals, which, compared
to previous albums, have clearly pro-
gressed. The track, like the album as a
whole, exhibits strength and growth for
the singer/songwriter.
On Speak Now, Swift steers away from
her pop-tart princess mold and venture
into different genres. The rocking "Bet-
ter Than Revenge" is scornful and bitter
- and it totally works. Swift channels her
inner Hayley Williams (Paramore) with
snarky lyrics ("She's not a saint and she's
not what you think / She's an actress /
She's better known for the things that
she does / On the mattress") and hard-
hitting drums - well, at least hard hit-
ting for her. The rock star sound may not
be her forte but she pulls it off.
Still, fans of Swift's quintessential
pop persona need not fear: Speak Now
still holds those country-twang acous-
tic tunes Taylor Swift devotees know
and love. The title track stays in Swift's
plucky guitar-stringed comfort zone
as she sings lyrics about a lover marry-
ing the wrong girl. She uses her gift of
evocative storytelling as she sinisterly
describes a wedding gone wrong: "The
organ starts to play a song that sounds
like a death march."
Speak Now, however, isn't just one
big "love story" - Swift shows definite
maturity. The album offers peeks into
the darker side of Swift's mind, as she
complains about losing her innocence
on "Never Grow Up" and takes the high
road in the Kanye West VMAs conflict by
assuring West that "Who you are is not
what you did / You're still an innocent."
Though Taylor Swift may not be
regarded as the most talented musician
on the planet, one thing's for sure: This
girl can hold her own. The once-silly
teenage starlet who got her big break by
professing her love for Tim McGraw is
now venturing into the reality of love and
the hardships that go with it. Speak Now
warns the world that Taylor Swift will
not back down no matter how many boys
break her heart - because when they do,
she'll just write a hit song about it.
Time for the sun to
set on Kings of Leon
~.Burgers with nausea on the side
By LINDSAY HURD
Daily Arts Writer
Once again, Guy Fieri got a job as the
host of a new competition show. This
time, hardcore tail-
gaters compete to win
the title of "Tailgate
Warrior," whatever
that means. This week,
teams from Seattle and Warrors
Green Bay "face off." Wednesdays
Each team is told to at 10P.M.
make a heart-attack-
inducing amount of Food Network
food, including an appe-
tizer, a main course, two sides and a des-
sert, all in one hour.
The amount of food prepared on "Tail-
gate Warriors" is nauseating. From brat-
wurst to salmon to crab to elk (which are
only the main courses) there's just way too
much to keep track of, let alone attempt
to watch people try to make or consume.
The cooks are running around so quickly,
it feels like you're going to get whiplash.
Nauseating with a risk of whiplash -
sounds just like a bad carnival ride.
Despite this, one thing "Tailgate War-
riors" has going for it is the food itself.
With the fresh salmon and elk burgers,
the competitors know their food and their
way around the grill. Unfortunately, the
focus, which starts on the fresh ingredi-
ents, quickly turns into a fixation on the
fascinating competition - or lack thereof.
Instead of concentrating on how the food
is prepared, the attention veers off in the
direction of creating drama by focusing
only on how no one is going to finish.
Too much food combined with too
much competition leads to way too long
of a program. After 20 minutes, everyone
is ready to see how the food turns out, but
instead you get stuck watching another
half hour of so-called fierce competition.
By the time the judges taste the food, no
one even cares.
The most annoying part about "Tail-
gate Warriors" is the fact that winning
the competition leads to absolutely noth-
ing. The contestants don't win money,
game tickets, or a trip - absolutely noth-
ing but glory which will only last until
the next episode airs, if that long.
Still, avid watchers of other Food Net-
work competition shows will enjoy "Tail-
gate Warriors" because it's exactly like all
their other programming. Two teams try
to prepare tasty dishes in a small amount
of time, no one thinks they will ever finish,
but they do, and then one team wins. It's
the exact same format, with nothing else
to offer except for some cheesy football
puns like "I fumbled with that burger"
and instant replays of footage that really
does not need to be seen twice.
And once again, the judges are peo-
ple who don't really seem to be expert
Just another Food
Network show
with Guy Fieri.
enough to be on Food Network. A former
football player along with a couple self-
appointed BBQ and tailgate experts leave
feedback that any regular Joe Shmoe
could have given. Unimaginative and
amateurish comments like "this tastes
good" (seriously) are so vague that the
whole fun of watching Food Network is
gone. The focal point is lost, and you're
stuck watching just a bunch of dudes eat-
ing burgers.
By EMMA GASE
DailyArts Writer
One thing is for certain: the guys from
Kings of Leon take themselves very, very
seriously. The band's new record Come
Around Sundown proves there is no self-
awareness in sight for the dudes that hit
it big with their fourth
album, only by the Night,
in 2008.
From the rumpled ings of
haircuts that probably
cost more than their Leo
amplifiers to the skinny Come Around
pants and the vests worn Sundown
over bare chests, there isR
no doubt that these guys
worship the idea of being
"rock stars." Nothing Kings of Leon does
appears effortless, yet that seems to be
precisely the image they desperately want
to project.
The album begins with "The End."
Those cheeky bastards, could this be a
modicum of humor? As the song strides
in with screechy, ethereal guitars and
then cedes to a lone bass-line and simple
drumbeat, you realize there is no intended
irony here, just overreaching, inflated sta-
dium production. Lead singer Caleb Fol-
lowill laments, "This could be the end /
Cause I ain't got a home / I'm out here all
alone / I'll forever roam." Deep shit.
"Mary" is Kings of Leon's borderline
offensive attempt at retro-rock balladry.
The rhythm recalls The Beatles'"Oh, Dar-
ling!," but then again, the Fab Four could
belch out their lyrics over a xylophone
and it would still be more innovative than
Kings of Leon. The bluesy '50s guitar riff
and harmonized "aahs" are not enough
to distract from the whining scream of
Followill's voice, which he intentionally
cracks like a pubescent teenage boy at the
end of every chorus. Lead guitarist Mat-
thew Followill busts out a competent,
albeit boring and predictable, guitar solo
during the middle eight. .
All the tracks on Sundown have some-
thing in common (other than their glaring
mediocrity), and that's reverb. Perhaps
the band thinks that dousing every chorus
and opening guitar riff in reverb gives its
music an authentic, serious sound. Sorry,
Kings of Leon, but reverb a good record
does not make.
Since the guys hail from Tennessee
and their dad is a preacher, that means if
they lay down a fiddle track underneath
the guitars and repeatedly sing "I'm
going back down south now," then they're
authentic Southern-fried rockers like
Lynyrd Skynyrd and have automatic cred-
ibility. Or at least that is what they appear
to believe on "Back Down South."
When their songs become boring to
the point of annoyance (which inevitably
happens on every track), their go-to fix
is a reverb-soaked crescendo of guitars
accompanied by Followill's strained voice
crying out something forlorn and pro-
found, e.g. "I won't ever be a cornerstone."
To be fair, there was a time when Kings
of Leon didn't suck quite so badly. Once
upon a time (a.k.a. 2003), they recorded
songs like "Molly's Chambers," a two-
minute punk-influenced tune with a
kickass guitar riff and unaffected vocals,
instead of moody sleepers with melodra-
matic production like "Pyro" or ridicu-
Here's a Grammy.
Now go away.
lously over-the-top single "Radioactive."
But alas, we Cannot live in the past.
Some fat cat record exec probably pro-
nounced them the new U2 after the inor-
dinate amount of Grammys they won, and
the band's ambition seems to have taken
over to make sure that became a reality.
There are precious few moments on the
album that do not sound contrived, manu-
factured and calculated. The moments that
don't, notably found in the drums, are so
fleeting that they are forgotten when the
next spectacularly average song begins.
Kings of Leon appears more concerned
with matching the success of "Use Some-
body" and being old school "rock stars"
than spending time artfully construct-
ing original songs. Perhaps the success of
the tasteful and subtle 2008 single "Sex
on Fire" has gone to their heads. or not.
Maybe Kings of Leon really is the most
affected band in the universe. Is there a
Grammy for that?
;' ,
't.
,;
.,.
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