The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Wednesday, October 27, 2010 - 5A Countdown show is 'Tough' to take 'ma let you finish, but Jackson Pollock was the greatest expressionist painter of all time. 1-Swi z rows.up By JACOB AXELRAD For theDaily From Super Delicious Productions comes "That's Tough," a new reality series on G4 that's a count- down of all things - you * guessed it - tough. Epi- sode one takes us through "liWj' three categories: the world's toughest pris- TWO ons, "little dudes" and Wednesdays armored cars. An unseen at 8:30 p.m. narrator describes each G4 category in detail and experts in each respec- tive field lend their knowledge. Videos and re-creations are used to highlight the selections for whatever has been chosen as "most badass." This is an OK premise, but there's one small drawback: the show is, almost in its entirety, offensive. The premise is fine - picking a catego- ry and determining who or what stands out within it. But what's frightening is the system used to determine "tough- ness." Without giving away spoilers, it's safe to say that the show's producers have crossed a line when it comes to what's morally appropriate. A heavy metal soundtrack accompa- nied by grainy black-and-white footage opens the episode, giving the feel of a low-budget music video, until we learn the first group to be judged: prisons. The tone shifts drastically as we're taken from Mendoza, Argentina to the Gulags of North Korea. We're subsequently edu- cated on what it means to be a "tough" prison. The images and facts used in mak- ing this deduction are hard to digest, as they should be when the misery of human beings is turned into a supposedly enter- taining segment of a countdown show. Rat infestations and death by infection are just some of the delights that await pris- oners at what G4 has labeled the world's "toughest prisons." The commentary and narration make it seem as though the grisly details of horrific prison life are somehow impressive, but the fact is, it's just plain shocking that a show would use these statistics in awarding top slots in any type of category. The second installment in the episode is hardly any better. The "toughest little dudes," as they're affectionately referred to, are little people who revel in sadism and "get their asses kicked." This segment is distasteful, not because the subject mat- ter is little people, but rather because the winners deserve no kind of recognition. No person, big or small, is tough because they force their unwilling girlfriend to shoot her eye out or get sent to prison for assault. G4 evidently thinks otherwise. The final portion, armored cars, is the only interesting (read: not sickening) part of the entire episode. From Pope Benedict XVI's "Popemobile" to President Obama's What should be entertaining turns pretty offensive. "The Beast," vehicles are judged on dura- bility, expense and style. If this really is a countdown show, then this is what the producers need to stick with - solely objective material that doesn't run the gamut from offensive to shocking. While it's understandable that G4 is try- ing to branch out further from its video- game coverage into rival SPIKE's teritory, the channeliscurrentlyonlyshowingitself to be a ratings whore. If any of its future material is as poorly conceived as "That's Tough," there definitely needs to be a return to the drawing board. On'Speak Now,' Swift takes on more celeb exes with musical flair By ARIELLE SPECINER DailyArts Writer This is a warning to all boys: If you date Taylor Swift, expect a song to be written about you. When country prin- dess Taylor Swift pens lyrics about her pastT r'elationships, she's * uthless. And her third Speak Now ,ibum Speak Now is no Big Machine exception. Swift takes a stab at the boys she's kissed through bittersweet lyrics that will make you think twice about how sweet this sugar-pop singer really is. Since the release of 2008's Fearless, Swift has gone through a lot. Though rany musicians of Swift's celebrity stat- ure may hide their public humiliations, she chooses to sing about all of them. Swift's candy-coated voice laces every track of Speak Now, though some of her lyrics may be lined with acid. On the album, listeners take a journey through Swift's diary, complete with intense detail and beautiful sounds. - Her songwriting skills on Speak Now are at their best. She tells meaningful, autobiographical stories fans can relate to. Whether she's singing about under- dogs, letters to old loves or apologizing to people she's hurt, the Nashville native is not afraid of telling the truth. Bottom line, this girl's had a lot of boy trouble in the last few years. The gutsiest of all boy-troubled tracks is "Dear John," a six-and-a-half-minute overview of her brief relationship with the infamous John Mayer. She sings "Dear John / I see it all now that you're gone / Don't you think I was too young to be messed with / The girl in the dress / Cried the whole way home / I shoulda known." The inclusion of Mayer-esque guitar riffs in the beginning of the track makes the song that much more sassy. Another ode-to-ex-boyfriend track is the apologetic "Back to December." Most likely a tribute to her ex-beau Tay- lor Lautner, "December" is graced with a string section reminiscent of. a cold, December night. On the track, Swift showcases her vocals, which, compared to previous albums, have clearly pro- gressed. The track, like the album as a whole, exhibits strength and growth for the singer/songwriter. On Speak Now, Swift steers away from her pop-tart princess mold and venture into different genres. The rocking "Bet- ter Than Revenge" is scornful and bitter - and it totally works. Swift channels her inner Hayley Williams (Paramore) with snarky lyrics ("She's not a saint and she's not what you think / She's an actress / She's better known for the things that she does / On the mattress") and hard- hitting drums - well, at least hard hit- ting for her. The rock star sound may not be her forte but she pulls it off. Still, fans of Swift's quintessential pop persona need not fear: Speak Now still holds those country-twang acous- tic tunes Taylor Swift devotees know and love. The title track stays in Swift's plucky guitar-stringed comfort zone as she sings lyrics about a lover marry- ing the wrong girl. She uses her gift of evocative storytelling as she sinisterly describes a wedding gone wrong: "The organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march." Speak Now, however, isn't just one big "love story" - Swift shows definite maturity. The album offers peeks into the darker side of Swift's mind, as she complains about losing her innocence on "Never Grow Up" and takes the high road in the Kanye West VMAs conflict by assuring West that "Who you are is not what you did / You're still an innocent." Though Taylor Swift may not be regarded as the most talented musician on the planet, one thing's for sure: This girl can hold her own. The once-silly teenage starlet who got her big break by professing her love for Tim McGraw is now venturing into the reality of love and the hardships that go with it. Speak Now warns the world that Taylor Swift will not back down no matter how many boys break her heart - because when they do, she'll just write a hit song about it. Time for the sun to set on Kings of Leon ~.Burgers with nausea on the side By LINDSAY HURD Daily Arts Writer Once again, Guy Fieri got a job as the host of a new competition show. This time, hardcore tail- gaters compete to win the title of "Tailgate Warrior," whatever that means. This week, teams from Seattle and Warrors Green Bay "face off." Wednesdays Each team is told to at 10P.M. make a heart-attack- inducing amount of Food Network food, including an appe- tizer, a main course, two sides and a des- sert, all in one hour. The amount of food prepared on "Tail- gate Warriors" is nauseating. From brat- wurst to salmon to crab to elk (which are only the main courses) there's just way too much to keep track of, let alone attempt to watch people try to make or consume. The cooks are running around so quickly, it feels like you're going to get whiplash. Nauseating with a risk of whiplash - sounds just like a bad carnival ride. Despite this, one thing "Tailgate War- riors" has going for it is the food itself. With the fresh salmon and elk burgers, the competitors know their food and their way around the grill. Unfortunately, the focus, which starts on the fresh ingredi- ents, quickly turns into a fixation on the fascinating competition - or lack thereof. Instead of concentrating on how the food is prepared, the attention veers off in the direction of creating drama by focusing only on how no one is going to finish. Too much food combined with too much competition leads to way too long of a program. After 20 minutes, everyone is ready to see how the food turns out, but instead you get stuck watching another half hour of so-called fierce competition. By the time the judges taste the food, no one even cares. The most annoying part about "Tail- gate Warriors" is the fact that winning the competition leads to absolutely noth- ing. The contestants don't win money, game tickets, or a trip - absolutely noth- ing but glory which will only last until the next episode airs, if that long. Still, avid watchers of other Food Net- work competition shows will enjoy "Tail- gate Warriors" because it's exactly like all their other programming. Two teams try to prepare tasty dishes in a small amount of time, no one thinks they will ever finish, but they do, and then one team wins. It's the exact same format, with nothing else to offer except for some cheesy football puns like "I fumbled with that burger" and instant replays of footage that really does not need to be seen twice. And once again, the judges are peo- ple who don't really seem to be expert Just another Food Network show with Guy Fieri. enough to be on Food Network. A former football player along with a couple self- appointed BBQ and tailgate experts leave feedback that any regular Joe Shmoe could have given. Unimaginative and amateurish comments like "this tastes good" (seriously) are so vague that the whole fun of watching Food Network is gone. The focal point is lost, and you're stuck watching just a bunch of dudes eat- ing burgers. By EMMA GASE DailyArts Writer One thing is for certain: the guys from Kings of Leon take themselves very, very seriously. The band's new record Come Around Sundown proves there is no self- awareness in sight for the dudes that hit it big with their fourth album, only by the Night, in 2008. From the rumpled ings of haircuts that probably cost more than their Leo amplifiers to the skinny Come Around pants and the vests worn Sundown over bare chests, there isR no doubt that these guys worship the idea of being "rock stars." Nothing Kings of Leon does appears effortless, yet that seems to be precisely the image they desperately want to project. The album begins with "The End." Those cheeky bastards, could this be a modicum of humor? As the song strides in with screechy, ethereal guitars and then cedes to a lone bass-line and simple drumbeat, you realize there is no intended irony here, just overreaching, inflated sta- dium production. Lead singer Caleb Fol- lowill laments, "This could be the end / Cause I ain't got a home / I'm out here all alone / I'll forever roam." Deep shit. "Mary" is Kings of Leon's borderline offensive attempt at retro-rock balladry. The rhythm recalls The Beatles'"Oh, Dar- ling!," but then again, the Fab Four could belch out their lyrics over a xylophone and it would still be more innovative than Kings of Leon. The bluesy '50s guitar riff and harmonized "aahs" are not enough to distract from the whining scream of Followill's voice, which he intentionally cracks like a pubescent teenage boy at the end of every chorus. Lead guitarist Mat- thew Followill busts out a competent, albeit boring and predictable, guitar solo during the middle eight. . All the tracks on Sundown have some- thing in common (other than their glaring mediocrity), and that's reverb. Perhaps the band thinks that dousing every chorus and opening guitar riff in reverb gives its music an authentic, serious sound. Sorry, Kings of Leon, but reverb a good record does not make. Since the guys hail from Tennessee and their dad is a preacher, that means if they lay down a fiddle track underneath the guitars and repeatedly sing "I'm going back down south now," then they're authentic Southern-fried rockers like Lynyrd Skynyrd and have automatic cred- ibility. Or at least that is what they appear to believe on "Back Down South." When their songs become boring to the point of annoyance (which inevitably happens on every track), their go-to fix is a reverb-soaked crescendo of guitars accompanied by Followill's strained voice crying out something forlorn and pro- found, e.g. "I won't ever be a cornerstone." To be fair, there was a time when Kings of Leon didn't suck quite so badly. Once upon a time (a.k.a. 2003), they recorded songs like "Molly's Chambers," a two- minute punk-influenced tune with a kickass guitar riff and unaffected vocals, instead of moody sleepers with melodra- matic production like "Pyro" or ridicu- Here's a Grammy. Now go away. lously over-the-top single "Radioactive." But alas, we Cannot live in the past. Some fat cat record exec probably pro- nounced them the new U2 after the inor- dinate amount of Grammys they won, and the band's ambition seems to have taken over to make sure that became a reality. There are precious few moments on the album that do not sound contrived, manu- factured and calculated. The moments that don't, notably found in the drums, are so fleeting that they are forgotten when the next spectacularly average song begins. Kings of Leon appears more concerned with matching the success of "Use Some- body" and being old school "rock stars" than spending time artfully construct- ing original songs. Perhaps the success of the tasteful and subtle 2008 single "Sex on Fire" has gone to their heads. or not. Maybe Kings of Leon really is the most affected band in the universe. Is there a Grammy for that? ;' , 't. ,; .,. DO YOU HATE GETTING FREE IPODS? DON'T TAKE OUR HOUSING SURVEY. But if you DO like free iPods, go to michigandaily.com/housing-survey. "All right boys, let's run the 'Make Me More Famous' play on three"