2B - Thursday, April 1, 2010
The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
2B - Thursday, April 1, 2010 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
Singing in the bus
FOOL WARS
WENDY'S PANDA EXPRESS
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Nothing quenches your thirst quite
like the water at Wendy's. Served in a
colorful cup with plentiful ice, the water
is the essence of wetness, and that wet-
ness is the essence of quenching that
epic, fry-induced thirst. It may not be up
to merman standards, but for the aver-
age freshwater fish, it would make a more
than suitable habitat. WATER
PIZZA HUT
We brought a crowd of unsuspecting
patrons into Palio's with the promise of
fine Italian water. But what they didn't
realize was that the chef didn't do any-
thing that night! Pizza Hut delivered all
the waters, and no one could tell the dif-
ference. Someone flipped over a table in
excitement. There were riots. All around,
a terrible idea.
When eating pandas, you're going to
want to wash it down with the delicious
water from Panda Express. The wonder-
ful Panda employees even let you serve
yourself, allowing you to construct the
perfect ice-to-water ratio that meets your
preferences. Thanks to the water, never
before has an endangered species tasted
so good.
SUBWAY
The true quality of Subway's water
shall remain a mystery forevermore.
This Daily investigator, upon asking for
a cup of cool, sweet water, was directed
to Pizza Hut instead. The kicker? There
totally is a water tab on Subway's foun-
tain drinks dispenser. They just won't
give you the cup. What the hell, Subway?
Major fail.
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You've heard him sing, now listen to his story. The Michigan Daily delves into MAR ssAMcCLAIN/nauy
the story behind the legend of the singing bus driver. See this multimedia piece
on MichiganDaily.com.
Weekend Freebies
Because boredom doesn't end
when your cash flow does
Thursday, April 1
Hannah Tinti Fictian Reading
Wonderful literature, to free!
3222 Angel! Hall, 5 p.m. - '
Campus Philharmonia Orchestra
Classical music from Dvorak to.
Brahms, fo free!
E.V. Moore Building, 8 p.m.
Friday, April 2
Food is Fuel
Healthy eating advice, fofrel
University Hospitals, 12 p.m.
Junior Recital: Nathaniel May
Piano music, and a song aot
Sudoku, to freel \ \
Stearns Building, 8p.m.,
Saturday, April 3
Baroque Chamber Ensemble
Exactly what it sounds like, but with
the bonus of being fo freel
E.V. Moore Building, 8 p.m.
WHAT'S NEW
ON THE DAILY
ARTS BLOG
* A look back at Wale:
Check set our photo slideshow of
Wale, Clipse and The Big Sean grac-
ing the Power Center with beats.
Revel in the memory of the one good
thing MSA did this year.
. Linking Kevin Bacon to
Jesus with the Internet:
In this week's diversion, see if you
can get from the most random-ass
Wikipedia entry to Jesus in six steps
or less. Bonus points if you start
with a stub.
* Horny Jews in a book:
The book of this week, Philip Roth's
"Goodbye, Columbus" tells the
tale of a young chosen person's
sexcapades in a pool. Isn't that how
everyone celebrates Passover?
AND THE WINNER IS: NOT SUBWAY
Justin Bieber: the
next John Lennon
'My World 2.0' is the
greatest album since
sliced bread
By JASMINE ZHU
Daily Arts Writer
Awwww yeah, J-Biebs. Get it,
boy. GET ITTT.
1994 was a good time tobe alive.
Grunge saturated the New York
scene.
NAFTA *****
was estab-
lished. Justin Bieber
And Jus-
tin Bieber MYWorld 2.0
was born. Island
The musi-
cal messiah and Usher protegd
known as Justin Drew Bieber was
given to the world in March 1,
1994. I am not drunk.
Lil' JB became an internet
sensation via YouTube in 2007.
Scooter Braun, a former market-
ing executive for So So Def, was
essentially like, "dayum boi," and
then Bieber's career took off like
whoa. And then he began shop-
ping at American Apparel. JB has
an affinity for wearing Am Appy
cardigans in size XXS. This is his
signature style, and what makes
all the young fly honeys love him
so. Also his hair. His hair is volu-
minously luscious and probably
wonderful to run through with
reverent fingers, but we must
remember he is only 15.
Anyway. His album. My World
2.0 is really good. Better than
My World, even. Holistically, the
album feels more life-affirming,
with power-pop dance jams but
also really sad stuff, too. Bieber's
voice is beautiful like the sound
of angels softly crying in falsetto
after a thunderstorm. Although
one might think Canada and R&B
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cOURTESY OF ISLAND
"I'm on a bike, motherfuckers. Don't you ever forget!"
music are mutually exclusive,
Bieber's genius allows him to com-
bine his Canadian heritage with
soulful R&B sounds. By the way,
there is a website called Lesbi-
ans Who Look Like Justin Bieber,
which is a tribute to Bieber's abil-
ity to reach out across all demo-
graphics. Canadians, R&B people,
lesbians. Also many more.
The star-studded album fea-
tures R&B heavyweights like
Sean Kingston and Ludacris. This
helps Bieber establish street cred,
which is often difficult for small
children. His features are cheru-
bic, and he has pillowy lips. But
listeners must not get too carried
away, because ... well, I'm getting
carried away.
Distorted vocals, accompanied
by urgent reverb-drenched gui-
tars and a heavy dash of synth and
dubstep rhythm, are not found on
this album. This album is much
better than that. The best song on
My World 2.0, though all of them
are perfect, is lead single "Baby,"
which features Ludacris. The
music video is sick, or ill, which
means it's very, very good. It fea-
tures JB wooing a preteen in the
bowling alley, which is a popular
location to find young love. Teen
dream.
J-Nasty is a young rising star
for sure. His youthful vibrancy is
very appealing. He is a beacon of
hope for music. Long live Justin
Bieber.
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The Michigan Daily
Advertising Design
Department is hiring
a Layout Designer.
Applicants should have a knack for
spacial relationships and a distinct
attention to detail. Experience with
Adobe InDesign is a plus.
Begin this summer and work
a couple hours every weekday.
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Think Summer, Think Fordham!
* Day/evening classes at two New York City campuses * Credits transfE
Competitive tuition rates " Comprehensive course selection
r easily
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