The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
Tuesday, February 9, 2010 - 5
The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Tuesday, February 9, 2010 - 5
How purple crayons
changed my life
COURTESY OF SCREEN GEMS
"Before things go any further you should know this: I am a robot, and I'm starting to rust."
No love for 'John'
Channing Tatum acts
like a half-naked robot in
derivative romance
By HANS YADAV
Daily Arts Writer
Every once in a while, a movie emerges
that shatters the romantic genre mold. It
tweaks the tried-and-true formula with a
bit of unorthodox exper-
imentation. In the case
of "Eternal Sunshine of
the Spotless Mind," a Dear John
vastly different, sci-fi-
ish angle was examined At Qualityl6
to create a work of art and Showcase
that is both memorable Screen Gems
and sentimental.
"Dear John" is not one of those mov-
ies. When the smoke clears and all is said
and done, "Dear John" is a film that would
probably do more harm than good to any
relationship if one were to take that spe-
cjal someone to see it.
'For starters, theplot p doesn't-get any
more timeworn than a young girl (Aman-
da Seyfried, "Jennifer's Body") falling in
love with a complete stranger (Channing
Tatum, "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra").
The catch is that the couple has only a
few weeks together before they must part
ways - one going back to college, the
other back to life in the army. But before
they separate, both parties promise to
stay in touch via written letters.
Seyfried's character Savannah Curtis
says writing to each other every day is
like being together without being physi-
cally together - really heartbreaking
stuff, interrupted only by the minor real-
ization that hundreds of movies have
already exhausted this motif. Predictably,
the couple's relationship is strained by
distance, and soon "unforeseen" events
occur that threaten to drive the two apart
forever.
But hey, if the story is no good, then at
least the acting can pick up the slack. It
should come as no surprise, though, that
it really doesn't. Although the major-
ity of the cast is passable, one person in
particular severely drops the ball. Armed
with his extensive arsenal of one "bad
boy" expression, Tatum single-handedly
destroys what little redemption "Dear
John" might have had. The expression of
pain on his face during those tear-jerker
scenes is matched only by the pain on
the viewers' faces when they are forced
to witness the man attempt acting. It's
frustrating to keep guessing what exactly
Tatum is trying to convey in his dialogue.
What's even stranger is that "Dear
John" is sort of reminiscent of "Trans-
formers 2." Not to say the former is any-
where close to as flashy as the latter, but
what "Transformers 2" was for many
guys, "Dear John" could be for many
women. Hell, it even has its own robot in
the form of Channing Tatum.
"Transformers" director Michael Bay
capitalized on every moment of Megan
Fox screen time, and the same can be said
about Tatum's role in "Dear John." The
opening scene, for goodness sake, centers
on Tatum walking out of the surf in full
beach-bod mode. Any glaring shortfalls
of the movie are cleverly covered up by an
uncovered Tatum.
If "Dear John" were a letter, it wouldn't
be the sappy romantic type that makes
one's heart flutter. Instead, it would be
the eviction notice telling you to get out
before it's too late.
There are aspects of our child-
hoods that we carry with us
when we get older, and one of
these for me has been the children's
book. It is children's
literature that often
becomes our first
foray into suspended,
belief and imagined.
landscapes. It is when
we first question what
it means to see the
world and see how life WHTNEY
can change suddenly POW
at night. It's when the
moon comes out and fearful things seem
to emerge from vapor.
Many children's books engage with
concepts and ideas that, crafted by an
adult illustrator's and writer's hands,
can be imbued with very adult-like ques-
tions about existence and the problems
that come with it. I found, re-visiting
some of the books of my past, that these
messages seem to have permeated my
childhood and, in effect, permeated my
adulthood as well.
One of the books my mother read to
me was "Harold and the Purple Crayon"
by Crockett Johnson. The book unset-
tled me with the oddly blank pages tiny
Harold traversed with a single purple
crayon in his hand. As a child, it struck
me as frightening that he was mother-
less and alone as he went about drawing
what he needed for security, being self-
sufficient ina world where everything
was empty and yet to be drawn except
for himself. When hungry, he would
draw pictures of pies to sate his appetite,
and when he was scared of the dark he
would draw the moon to light his way as
he walked in the emptiness of the page.
As a child I found this book pro-
foundly and achingly lonely. The adult
in me sees and recognizes Harold, not as
a lonely child, but as a representative of
what we all are - alone within ourselves
in our inner worlds. Life itself is a singu-
lar, individual process.
The book also comments on filling the
blank slate of one's life with one's own
hands and inventing what we become
rather than inheriting a preconceived.
meaning or direction of existence from
those who came before us. This is some-
thing many of us deal with as we grow
older: the creation of self through what
one does, not what one is given. I sup-
pose at six I wasn't ready for this rev-
elation - the prospect of constructing
families, homes and safety from scratch
- but now I understand it, and it's not as
terrifying as it once was.
Another book my mother read to me
as a child was "Love You Forever" by
Robert Munsch. My mother used to sing
the refrain of the book to her own tune,
her voice honed and pitch-perfect: "I'll
love you forever / I'll like you for always
/ As long as I'm living / My baby you'll
be."
She would always cry after reading
the lines as they appeared in the book,
and I didn't understand why. The book
has soft pencil drawings of a child as he
grows up, from a tiny infant to a messy
baby to an impassioned, raucous teen-
ager to a homesick college student and
finally to an adult, when he, as an older
man with grayingstreaks in his hair,
holds his own mother in his arms as she
(possibly clearer to adults than to chil-
dren) is passing away, singing to her his
own version of the song: "I'll love you
forever / Ill like you for always / As long
as I'm living / My mommy you'll be."
As a child S saw "Love YounForever" as
a look into the life of a person who went
through momentous events S had yet to
experience: tween-hood, teenage-hood,
adulthood. I was watching the moments
of a boy whom I would later come to fol-
low with the flow of time, unbeknownst
to myself. And for my mother, and now
me, the book itself seems to reiterate and
How children's
literature helps us
shape ourselves.
make bittersweet the passing of time
and its circularity - letting go of chil-
dren at certain moments, figuratively
or literally, and having them return at
the end, post-bruises, teary eyed with
skinned knees. We learn to forgive our
parents for what they have done and
they, in turn, forgive us and have always
done so since we were children.
These books and others unravel some
perception of life in a way that's under-
standable to children and adults. My
experience of children's books is not
isolated to that one moment of being
six when my body was consumed in the
books' hard covers. Instead, my experi-
ence of these books and their themes
is something I have taken with me and
have been able to see and build upon in
my adult life. Books are things we carry
with us from beginning to end, build-
ing those perceptions of selfhood and
personhood we first begin tobe aware
of as children and we learn to construct
and shape when we enter adulthood and
beyond.
Pow needs someone to read
her a bedtime story. To volunteer,
e-mail her at poww@umich.edu.
Too much exploring, Dora
By ANT MICHELL
Daily Arts Writer
In this day and age, I think it's a nearly
inarguable fact that television has a monu-
mental effect on children, and unless par-
ents are willing to lock their offspring in a
magical anti-media closet complete with
corruption filter, there's very little chance
of insulating kids from what's on TV.
As a big sister to a seven-year-old and a
three-year-old, I've made it my sworn
duty to make sure my siblings
are exposed to only quality TV,
along with telling them that
George Washington was a
knight of the round table
and that Hannah Mon-
tana is a "loose goose."
In the spirit of this
oath, I bought them a
season of the "Teen-
age Mutant Ninja
Turtles," hid
my sister's
Barbie movies
under her bed and rejoiced
in the knowledge that their pure
little minds were secure.
Recently, however, I've
noticed adarkshadowonthe hori-
zon, looming over my siblings'
TV exposure. One show I had
always approved of was "Dora
the Explorer." I've sat through
countless hours (and hours and
hours) of "I'm the map" and
"Swiper, no swiping!" and I've
got to say, I'm smitten.
She's educational and multicultural.
Considering there are 35.3 million His-
panic Americans as of 2001, and the num-
bers are increasing, I'd say that's a fairly
appropriate and significant theme to feed
our youth. She's cute and pudgy and her
god-awful bowl haircut makes her all the
more lovable. Her belly of leftover baby
fat sticks out from under the little kid
t-shirt. She talks to animals and goes on
adventures while still managing to teach
topographical science to all those impres-
sionable little minds out there.
However, a short time ago I found some-
thing out that not only left me speechless,
but basically ripped out my tongue and has become. She's not a Spanish-speaking,
dangled it from my vocal cords. According proud Hispanic college graduate back-
to Nick Jr., there will be two new iterations packing across Europe. Instead, Dora has
of Dora: an older, whored-up Dora who will become a Bratz-doll lookalike, with signifi-
star in "Dora's Explorer Girls" and a Dora cantly lighter skin and hair (which has been
Links doll targeting girls ages five to eight. highlighted and straightened) who wears
According to the website, the new show was leggings and color-coordinated flats that
created to "reflect the new play patterns of match her earrings and makeup.
the doll's intended audience." Dora was one of the only figures on chil-
Considering all the bad press about the dren's TV who didn't tell little girls that
new development, it's understandable that they should be skinny, coated in at least
the website has undertaken some seven layers of makeup and wear clothes
massive damage control, adver-
tising the interactive com-
puter game packaged with D
the Dora Links doll as fea- Dora the Explorer'
turing "relatable pro-social is just a televised
themes" like "volunteer-
ism, water conservation and ntewodrug ow.~
planting trees." However, 10*g ay
minutes of sample game-
play featured on You-
Tube reveals little that accentuate their (as yet) nonexistent
beyond the fact that her boobs. Dora shouldbe about brains, person-
extensions can be changed ality and heart. Now she's about shopping,
and her lip color, blush, ear- cute clothing, accessories and the objectifi-
rings and necklace color can be cation of women.
customized. The only foreign It's not that I'm a feminist. And it's
language sample I heard was not that I'm overly sensitive. However, I
the Spanish word for "jewelry am a big sister, and I don't want my little
store." brother or sister to think that
Not to worry. The network the moment you pass
will continue to pro- out of kindergar-
duce the darling and age- ten, sex appeal
appropriate "Dora the and cute-
Explorer." But per- sy clothes
haps this will leave become the
the old Dora as noth- r sole reasons
ing less than a tele- f for living. Inter-
vised gateway drug net parodies show
that one day will the new Dora preg-
pull children into the world nant, smutted-up and
of the hardcore "Explor- drugged-out of her
er Girls," leaving them disillusioned mind. God
cracked-out on ditz and ''only knows what Boots
slut-ification. Indoctri- / could be up to. Open-
nation! Do I sound like ing a brothel? Rolling a
a raving lunatic looking blunt using Map? Help-
over my shoulder for Big Brother? ing Swiper knock over a
Ask any marketing student if I'm liquor store? Maybe no
that far off. one else is ignited with
Regardless, my beef is not with the passionate hatred that
the motivation behind this new flares in my bigsister soul,
Dora, but instead with who Dora PHOTOS COURTESY but maybe you should be.
Or NICKELODEON
TLC counts to 19 with
family exploitation
By LINDSAY HURD
DailyArts Writer
The Duggars have how mt
dren? Oh, that's right. There
them now, all from the
same parents.
After the last few sea-
sons, the Duggar family 19 K
shows America why the Cou
phrase "and Counting"
is prominently fea- Tuesi
tured in the title: The at 9p
42-year-old Michelle TLC
Duggar has ,had two
children since the show
started back in 2006. And it doe
like she'll be stopping anytime s
After the massive success o
Kate Plus 8," TLC took America
sion with families that have
amounts of children and amp
"19 Kids and Counting" follows
gar family of Tonitown, Ark., c
of father Jim Bob, mother Mic
When you nan
kid Jinger, it's t
to call it off*
their 19 children: Joshua, Jan
David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Josepl
Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah
James, Justin, Jackson, Johanr
nifer, Jordyn-Grace and Josie.'
an uber-conservative Baptist fa
is morally opposed to birth co:
therefore, keep popping out the kids.
Exactly how does the family man-
age that many children? According to
any chil- Michelle, the older kids help supervise
are 19 of the younger kids. The Duggar parents
also have strict rules about the use of
computers and television. (But appar-
ently starring on a show is acceptable.)
ids and All of this, as Jim Bob and Michelle put
it, makes for a happy family. In fact, they
are so happy it's annoying. Everyone is
days always smiling and it seems like the par-
.m. ents have never had a fight in their lives.
In past seasons, the series's main focus
has been on normal (albeit oversized)
family-type activities like taking vaca-
esn't look tions in their giant mobile home and
oan. celebrating Christmas. This season's pre-
f "Jon & miere, however, focuses on the newest
a's obses- Duggar baby, Josie, who was born almost
massive four months early. The family has relo-
plified it. cated to Little Rock, Ark. to be near Josie
the Dug- while she is in the hospital.
onsisting While the show focuses heavily on
helle and the children, there is a lack of actual
entertainment. The "19 Kids" family
does pretty much what all families do,
only on a bigger scale. Nothing is sur-
ie a prising because everyone has lived it in
" their own lives. And because the par-
im e ents never fight (maybe that's the secret
to a happy marriage, Jon and Kate) it's a
retread of "Leave it to Beaver" suburbia.
Moreover, many of the events featured
on "19 Kids" seem scripted, defeating
ta, John- the purpose of watching a family live its
h, Josiah, "normal life."
h, Jason, Basically, the only thing that "19 Kids
nah, Jen- and Counting" leaves its audience with
They are is one question: How long until Michelle
mily that. Duggar is pregnant again? Give it a few
ntrol and weeks.
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