The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Tuesday, February 9, 2010 - 5 The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Tuesday, February 9, 2010 - 5 How purple crayons changed my life COURTESY OF SCREEN GEMS "Before things go any further you should know this: I am a robot, and I'm starting to rust." No love for 'John' Channing Tatum acts like a half-naked robot in derivative romance By HANS YADAV Daily Arts Writer Every once in a while, a movie emerges that shatters the romantic genre mold. It tweaks the tried-and-true formula with a bit of unorthodox exper- imentation. In the case of "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," a Dear John vastly different, sci-fi- ish angle was examined At Qualityl6 to create a work of art and Showcase that is both memorable Screen Gems and sentimental. "Dear John" is not one of those mov- ies. When the smoke clears and all is said and done, "Dear John" is a film that would probably do more harm than good to any relationship if one were to take that spe- cjal someone to see it. 'For starters, theplot p doesn't-get any more timeworn than a young girl (Aman- da Seyfried, "Jennifer's Body") falling in love with a complete stranger (Channing Tatum, "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"). The catch is that the couple has only a few weeks together before they must part ways - one going back to college, the other back to life in the army. But before they separate, both parties promise to stay in touch via written letters. Seyfried's character Savannah Curtis says writing to each other every day is like being together without being physi- cally together - really heartbreaking stuff, interrupted only by the minor real- ization that hundreds of movies have already exhausted this motif. Predictably, the couple's relationship is strained by distance, and soon "unforeseen" events occur that threaten to drive the two apart forever. But hey, if the story is no good, then at least the acting can pick up the slack. It should come as no surprise, though, that it really doesn't. Although the major- ity of the cast is passable, one person in particular severely drops the ball. Armed with his extensive arsenal of one "bad boy" expression, Tatum single-handedly destroys what little redemption "Dear John" might have had. The expression of pain on his face during those tear-jerker scenes is matched only by the pain on the viewers' faces when they are forced to witness the man attempt acting. It's frustrating to keep guessing what exactly Tatum is trying to convey in his dialogue. What's even stranger is that "Dear John" is sort of reminiscent of "Trans- formers 2." Not to say the former is any- where close to as flashy as the latter, but what "Transformers 2" was for many guys, "Dear John" could be for many women. Hell, it even has its own robot in the form of Channing Tatum. "Transformers" director Michael Bay capitalized on every moment of Megan Fox screen time, and the same can be said about Tatum's role in "Dear John." The opening scene, for goodness sake, centers on Tatum walking out of the surf in full beach-bod mode. Any glaring shortfalls of the movie are cleverly covered up by an uncovered Tatum. If "Dear John" were a letter, it wouldn't be the sappy romantic type that makes one's heart flutter. Instead, it would be the eviction notice telling you to get out before it's too late. There are aspects of our child- hoods that we carry with us when we get older, and one of these for me has been the children's book. It is children's literature that often becomes our first foray into suspended, belief and imagined. landscapes. It is when we first question what it means to see the world and see how life WHTNEY can change suddenly POW at night. It's when the moon comes out and fearful things seem to emerge from vapor. Many children's books engage with concepts and ideas that, crafted by an adult illustrator's and writer's hands, can be imbued with very adult-like ques- tions about existence and the problems that come with it. I found, re-visiting some of the books of my past, that these messages seem to have permeated my childhood and, in effect, permeated my adulthood as well. One of the books my mother read to me was "Harold and the Purple Crayon" by Crockett Johnson. The book unset- tled me with the oddly blank pages tiny Harold traversed with a single purple crayon in his hand. As a child, it struck me as frightening that he was mother- less and alone as he went about drawing what he needed for security, being self- sufficient ina world where everything was empty and yet to be drawn except for himself. When hungry, he would draw pictures of pies to sate his appetite, and when he was scared of the dark he would draw the moon to light his way as he walked in the emptiness of the page. As a child I found this book pro- foundly and achingly lonely. The adult in me sees and recognizes Harold, not as a lonely child, but as a representative of what we all are - alone within ourselves in our inner worlds. Life itself is a singu- lar, individual process. The book also comments on filling the blank slate of one's life with one's own hands and inventing what we become rather than inheriting a preconceived. meaning or direction of existence from those who came before us. This is some- thing many of us deal with as we grow older: the creation of self through what one does, not what one is given. I sup- pose at six I wasn't ready for this rev- elation - the prospect of constructing families, homes and safety from scratch - but now I understand it, and it's not as terrifying as it once was. Another book my mother read to me as a child was "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch. My mother used to sing the refrain of the book to her own tune, her voice honed and pitch-perfect: "I'll love you forever / I'll like you for always / As long as I'm living / My baby you'll be." She would always cry after reading the lines as they appeared in the book, and I didn't understand why. The book has soft pencil drawings of a child as he grows up, from a tiny infant to a messy baby to an impassioned, raucous teen- ager to a homesick college student and finally to an adult, when he, as an older man with grayingstreaks in his hair, holds his own mother in his arms as she (possibly clearer to adults than to chil- dren) is passing away, singing to her his own version of the song: "I'll love you forever / Ill like you for always / As long as I'm living / My mommy you'll be." As a child S saw "Love YounForever" as a look into the life of a person who went through momentous events S had yet to experience: tween-hood, teenage-hood, adulthood. I was watching the moments of a boy whom I would later come to fol- low with the flow of time, unbeknownst to myself. And for my mother, and now me, the book itself seems to reiterate and How children's literature helps us shape ourselves. make bittersweet the passing of time and its circularity - letting go of chil- dren at certain moments, figuratively or literally, and having them return at the end, post-bruises, teary eyed with skinned knees. We learn to forgive our parents for what they have done and they, in turn, forgive us and have always done so since we were children. These books and others unravel some perception of life in a way that's under- standable to children and adults. My experience of children's books is not isolated to that one moment of being six when my body was consumed in the books' hard covers. Instead, my experi- ence of these books and their themes is something I have taken with me and have been able to see and build upon in my adult life. Books are things we carry with us from beginning to end, build- ing those perceptions of selfhood and personhood we first begin tobe aware of as children and we learn to construct and shape when we enter adulthood and beyond. Pow needs someone to read her a bedtime story. To volunteer, e-mail her at poww@umich.edu. Too much exploring, Dora By ANT MICHELL Daily Arts Writer In this day and age, I think it's a nearly inarguable fact that television has a monu- mental effect on children, and unless par- ents are willing to lock their offspring in a magical anti-media closet complete with corruption filter, there's very little chance of insulating kids from what's on TV. As a big sister to a seven-year-old and a three-year-old, I've made it my sworn duty to make sure my siblings are exposed to only quality TV, along with telling them that George Washington was a knight of the round table and that Hannah Mon- tana is a "loose goose." In the spirit of this oath, I bought them a season of the "Teen- age Mutant Ninja Turtles," hid my sister's Barbie movies under her bed and rejoiced in the knowledge that their pure little minds were secure. Recently, however, I've noticed adarkshadowonthe hori- zon, looming over my siblings' TV exposure. One show I had always approved of was "Dora the Explorer." I've sat through countless hours (and hours and hours) of "I'm the map" and "Swiper, no swiping!" and I've got to say, I'm smitten. She's educational and multicultural. Considering there are 35.3 million His- panic Americans as of 2001, and the num- bers are increasing, I'd say that's a fairly appropriate and significant theme to feed our youth. She's cute and pudgy and her god-awful bowl haircut makes her all the more lovable. Her belly of leftover baby fat sticks out from under the little kid t-shirt. She talks to animals and goes on adventures while still managing to teach topographical science to all those impres- sionable little minds out there. However, a short time ago I found some- thing out that not only left me speechless, but basically ripped out my tongue and has become. She's not a Spanish-speaking, dangled it from my vocal cords. According proud Hispanic college graduate back- to Nick Jr., there will be two new iterations packing across Europe. Instead, Dora has of Dora: an older, whored-up Dora who will become a Bratz-doll lookalike, with signifi- star in "Dora's Explorer Girls" and a Dora cantly lighter skin and hair (which has been Links doll targeting girls ages five to eight. highlighted and straightened) who wears According to the website, the new show was leggings and color-coordinated flats that created to "reflect the new play patterns of match her earrings and makeup. the doll's intended audience." Dora was one of the only figures on chil- Considering all the bad press about the dren's TV who didn't tell little girls that new development, it's understandable that they should be skinny, coated in at least the website has undertaken some seven layers of makeup and wear clothes massive damage control, adver- tising the interactive com- puter game packaged with D the Dora Links doll as fea- Dora the Explorer' turing "relatable pro-social is just a televised themes" like "volunteer- ism, water conservation and ntewodrug ow.~ planting trees." However, 10*g ay minutes of sample game- play featured on You- Tube reveals little that accentuate their (as yet) nonexistent beyond the fact that her boobs. Dora shouldbe about brains, person- extensions can be changed ality and heart. Now she's about shopping, and her lip color, blush, ear- cute clothing, accessories and the objectifi- rings and necklace color can be cation of women. customized. The only foreign It's not that I'm a feminist. And it's language sample I heard was not that I'm overly sensitive. However, I the Spanish word for "jewelry am a big sister, and I don't want my little store." brother or sister to think that Not to worry. The network the moment you pass will continue to pro- out of kindergar- duce the darling and age- ten, sex appeal appropriate "Dora the and cute- Explorer." But per- sy clothes haps this will leave become the the old Dora as noth- r sole reasons ing less than a tele- f for living. Inter- vised gateway drug net parodies show that one day will the new Dora preg- pull children into the world nant, smutted-up and of the hardcore "Explor- drugged-out of her er Girls," leaving them disillusioned mind. God cracked-out on ditz and ''only knows what Boots slut-ification. Indoctri- / could be up to. Open- nation! Do I sound like ing a brothel? Rolling a a raving lunatic looking blunt using Map? Help- over my shoulder for Big Brother? ing Swiper knock over a Ask any marketing student if I'm liquor store? Maybe no that far off. one else is ignited with Regardless, my beef is not with the passionate hatred that the motivation behind this new flares in my bigsister soul, Dora, but instead with who Dora PHOTOS COURTESY but maybe you should be. Or NICKELODEON TLC counts to 19 with family exploitation By LINDSAY HURD DailyArts Writer The Duggars have how mt dren? Oh, that's right. There them now, all from the same parents. After the last few sea- sons, the Duggar family 19 K shows America why the Cou phrase "and Counting" is prominently fea- Tuesi tured in the title: The at 9p 42-year-old Michelle TLC Duggar has ,had two children since the show started back in 2006. And it doe like she'll be stopping anytime s After the massive success o Kate Plus 8," TLC took America sion with families that have amounts of children and amp "19 Kids and Counting" follows gar family of Tonitown, Ark., c of father Jim Bob, mother Mic When you nan kid Jinger, it's t to call it off* their 19 children: Joshua, Jan David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Josepl Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah James, Justin, Jackson, Johanr nifer, Jordyn-Grace and Josie.' an uber-conservative Baptist fa is morally opposed to birth co: therefore, keep popping out the kids. Exactly how does the family man- age that many children? According to any chil- Michelle, the older kids help supervise are 19 of the younger kids. The Duggar parents also have strict rules about the use of computers and television. (But appar- ently starring on a show is acceptable.) ids and All of this, as Jim Bob and Michelle put it, makes for a happy family. In fact, they are so happy it's annoying. Everyone is days always smiling and it seems like the par- .m. ents have never had a fight in their lives. In past seasons, the series's main focus has been on normal (albeit oversized) family-type activities like taking vaca- esn't look tions in their giant mobile home and oan. celebrating Christmas. This season's pre- f "Jon & miere, however, focuses on the newest a's obses- Duggar baby, Josie, who was born almost massive four months early. The family has relo- plified it. cated to Little Rock, Ark. to be near Josie the Dug- while she is in the hospital. onsisting While the show focuses heavily on helle and the children, there is a lack of actual entertainment. The "19 Kids" family does pretty much what all families do, only on a bigger scale. Nothing is sur- ie a prising because everyone has lived it in " their own lives. And because the par- im e ents never fight (maybe that's the secret to a happy marriage, Jon and Kate) it's a retread of "Leave it to Beaver" suburbia. Moreover, many of the events featured on "19 Kids" seem scripted, defeating ta, John- the purpose of watching a family live its h, Josiah, "normal life." h, Jason, Basically, the only thing that "19 Kids nah, Jen- and Counting" leaves its audience with They are is one question: How long until Michelle mily that. Duggar is pregnant again? Give it a few ntrol and weeks. LOVE FOOD? AND WRITING? WRITE FOR THE DAILY'S FOOD BLOG, THE TABLE. E-mail ertgreen@gmail.com for information on applying.