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The Michigan Daily - Wednesday, March 11, 2009
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ABOUT CAMPUS
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QUOTES OF THE WEEK
" Apparently, porn is right
up there with Mom and
apple pie. "
- MARK MILOSCIA, a Democratic State Rep-
resentative from Washington, on the public's
anger over his proposal to institute an 18.5 per-
cent sales tax on sex toys and explicit maga-
zines. Miloscia's initiative was part of an effort
to shore up the state's budget deficit
"The only thing green
about Peter Mandelson is
the slime coursing through
his veins."
- LELIA DEEN, a protester from the environmen-
tal group Plane Stupid, defending herself for dump-
ing a bucket of green liquid on the face of Lord
Peter Mandelson, business secretary in the British
government. Deen claimed Mandelson had been
involved in questionable dealings with lobbyists
ILLUSTRATIONS BY JOHN OQUIST
Martha Cooked
inside the mysterious
bastion of single-sex living
Recall your experience of liv-
ing in the residence halls. During
this rite of passage, you might have
encountered one or more of the fol-
lowing: nasty dorm food, a run-in
with a drunken (and possibly vom-
iting) roommate, gettingsexiled (or
sexiling someone else) and adjust-
ing to the awkward concept of com-
munity bathrooms. You probably
trudged through it, counting down
the days until you could adopt a liv-
ing situation that afforded you a
little dignity.
But there is a residence hall that
doesn't inspire that same repulsion
to on-campus living. It's a place
where the residents take pride in
their residence hall experience and
form a community of unique mor-
als and traditions. It's also a place
that, for many students on cam-
pus, remains shrouded in mystery
and confusion. The place is Mar-
tha Cook - a bastion of single-sex
housing that evokes a time in the
University's history when men and
women students slept on separate
sides of the Engineering Arch.
Laura Hahn, an LSA freshman
who lives in Martha Cook, agreed
to act as my guide to campus's
most enigmatic dorm. It's true that
men cannot enter the dorm with-
out a resident escort, but the same
goes for outside women. Only with
Hahn's help could I gain admit-'
tance to the hallowed hall.
After attempting to get in the
doors twice and failing, I opted to
wait outside for my escort to return
from class. There were just a few
people around me, looking about
as unsure of themselves as I felt
- a couple awkward-looking boys
fidgeting in their tennis shoes and
a girl with fiery red hair.
As I finally followed Hahn inside
to the dorm's lobby, I was amazed
by the tall ceilings, long hallways,
tapestries and wood-engraved
walls. It was as if we had jumped
out of Ann Arbor and into a Char-
lotte Bront8 novel.
People were talking in small
groups all around me - we had
come just in time for Martha
Cook's Friday night teatime. I was
surrounded by some of the most
delicious desserts I've ever seen -
freshtcookies, rice crispy treats and
beautiful rakes - all made by the
Martha Cook chef, whose specialty
is desserts.
Teatime takes place in one of the
large lobbies, called the Gold Room
for its dazzling floors, walls and
furniture. The picturesque room
was teeming with residents and
their guests, mostly young women
and visiting family members.
Despite the formal-looking room, I
didn't feel out of place in my brown
Converse and thermal shirt. The
room was so full of tea timers that it
took Hahn a couple minutes to find
us a quiet place where we could sit
and talk.
I figured the best way to break
the ice was to immediately address
the "Martha Cook" stereotype: a
"cookie-cutter, prim and proper
girl," as described by Hahn. She
said the girls are aware of the
stigma that surrounds their living
situation, and she thinks that a lot
of Martha Cook's mystique stems
from the moment students step
onto campus for their orientation
tour.
"I remember Martha Cook being
a part of the tours, but not a lot of
the tour guides even know much
about it," Hahn said. "So it's kind
of like they instill that mystery into
new students and it kind of just
continues on."
Martha Cook has a different
meal plan from other dorms, mean-
ing non-residents can't use their
M-Cards to eat in the hall. Lau-
ren Humphrey, Assistant Resident
Director for Martha Cook, said that
fact might give students the impres-
sion that the dorm is odd overall.
"You can't just wander in and eat
ti
here if you don't live
creates more of a n
makes people assume
snobby," Humphrey sai
Although there is a
of rules in place at M
- mandatory house m
hours for receiving m
and required work duty
oppressive as many pec
"I know there a lot o
conceptions," Hahn sai
whole curfew thing-tI
one. Most people are
would you want to do t
Martha Cook reside
required to be home
time. But there are
visitation hours
for men - 11:00
a.m. to midnight
on weekdays and
until 2:00 a.m. on
weekends. Anoth-
er rule stipulates
that each resident
does one hour of
tea service each
semester. Break-
/ ing the rules can
lead to being
kicked out, but
Humphrey, who
deals with most
resident issues,
said that such a
measure has rare-
ly been taken.
Teatime, the
main buzz on
campus surround-
ing Martha Cook,
is every Friday
and is one of the
major traditions.
But the women do
ILLUSTRATION BY LAURA GARAvoGLIA a lot more than
just drink tea.
here, which Residents are given a detailed event
nystery and calendar at the beginning of each
that we are semester, complete with the spe-
id. cial teatimes, dinners, dances and
stricter set other events. Amongst other tradi-
lartha Cook tions, there are "sit-downs" every
neetings, set Wednesday, which can be formal -
sale visitors no jeans allowed - or informal.
- it's not as "We all gather outside the din-
tple think. ing hall doors that open at 5:15,
and then we would stand behind
our chairs," Hahn said, "Then,
we all would sing a song, and then
sit down at the same time and eat
together."
There is also ahistorical relation-
ship with the Lawyer's Club, which
Hahn explains is from having the
same founder - William Cook.
Once a year, Martha Cook invites
the lawyers over for lunch and ask
that they do not bring friends. In
the past, the strange coupling of
young undergraduate women and
older law students may have helped
young ladies in attaining their Mrs.
degrees - in other words, a fine
lawyer husband. But Hahn said
that the groups now associate out
of tradition, not to make matches.
"It doesn't have the same conno-
tation as it did in the past," she said.
"This isn't the '70s and they aren't
trying to pair us up."
tahn enjoys having the opportu-
nity to attend events put on by Mar-
tha Cook, all of which are optional.
"It has a little bit more of a com-
munity because they do have the
events set up for us," she said. "I
don't want to make a comparison
to a sorority because it's not. But we
do have Marion Law who is our res-
ident director, who does live here
with us, and we have compared
her to like a 'house mother,' as well
as our own cooking staff separate
from the university."
When compared to walking
through my whitewashed hallway
See MARTHA COOK, Page 8B
TALKING
POINTS
Three things you can talk about this week:
1. Madoff's guilty plea
2. Bailout watchman Earl E. Devaney
3. Secret letters to Russia
And three things you can't
1. Michael Jackson's return
2. Kilpatrick's law suit
3. Brad Pitt on
Capitol Hill
"The fact that this happened at all is outrageous."
- JODY P. WEIS, superintendent of the Chicago police, condemning seven police officers who
failed to notice that a 14-year-old boy was impersonating an officer for five hours. The boy drove a
patrol car and helped arrest a subject by pinning the man down so he could be handcuffed
BY THE NUMBERS
YOUTUBE
VIDEO COF
THE WEEK
Marketing pranks
Let's face it: telemarketers are
annoying. They waste your time try-
ing to sell you worthless items that
you'll never use. Well, Tom Mabe has
decided to fight back.
In this video, the comedian Mabe
receives a call from Bob, a telemar-
keterfrom atlocal cemetery. Bob says
he's trying to give Mabe "peace of
mind" by selling him a prearranged
burial plot. After Bob is done making
his pitch, Mabe starts whimpering,
explainingtoBobthatherecentlylost
his job and that his wife left him. In
fact, Mabe says, he was contemplat-
ing suicide right before Bob called.
With his voice quivering, Mabe
tells Bob that he was praying to God
for a sign of whether or not he should
kill himself. This sign, Mabe says, is
Bob, who offered Mabe a burial plot
right when he was about to kill him-
self. Bob stutters nervously, plead-
ing with Mabe that he only called
because Mabe's on his list. But Mabe
remains defiant: "You're the angel of
death, man," he says.
Now, the fun begins. Mabe
inquires about the various deals Bob
can offer. Seeing his opportunity to
make a sale, Bob reassures Mabe of
the affordability of the plot.
Mabe then asks about financ-
ing options for the burial plot. Still
unaware that this is a prank, Bob
asks Mabe if he has a credit card or
checking account to pay for the plot.
But Mabe might not be able to hold
out for that long. Then Bob issues the
coup de grace of this video.
"If I got the paperwork out to you
this afternoon, do you think you
could hold off until tomorrow?"
-BRIAN TENGEL
See this and other
YouTube videos ofthe week at
youtube.com/user/michigandaily
f false mis-
d. "Like the
hat's a huge
like, 'Why
hat?"'
nts are not
at any set
Number of jobs California lost in January
Number of unemployed people in California
Percentage of the California workforce that is unemployed, the
highest in almost 26 years
Source: T e Los Angeles Times
THEME PARTY SUGGESTION
R.I.P American Dream - Remember a year ago,
when the U.S. actually had a functioning economy?
Remember the American dream of owning a house
and a car? Apparently, those were the good old
days. Now, we're in the throes of an economic
meltdown. In this atmosphere, even listening to
Obama - once a beacon of hope - is unbearably
depressing. For this, there's only one remedy: jump
on board with that boom in alcohol purchases.
Throwing this party? Let us know. TheStatement@umich.edu
STUDY OF THE WEEK
Doodlers may have better memory retention
People who doodle while listening to detailed information have a bet-
ter retention than those who don't doodle, according to a study recent-
ly published in the journal Applied Cognitive Psychology by Jackie
Andrade, a psychologist at the University of Plymouth in England.
In the study, Andrade selected two groups of 20 people who had just
completed a different psychology experiment to listen to a two-and-a-
half-minute voicemail recording that they were told would be boring.
The message was a fake invitation to a 21st birthday party.
While listening, both groups were supposed to write downthe names
of the party guests and the places mentioned. But half of the participants
were told to shade in little circles and squares while listening.
After the message, the participants were asked to verbally recall
the names and places mentioned in the voicemail. Those who doodled
remembered on average 7.5 out of 16 pieces of information, while those
who didn't doodle recalled only 5.8 items,
- BRIAN TENGEL