0 W-- w a a 9 0- W. The Michigan Daily - Wednesday, March 11, 2009 Wedneday, 2009Dail , . y mob. . . ^ 9e. ,.c . 8, ' 4 F : ABOUT CAMPUS is 3 I LLg eT ssSYOH OUY QUOTES OF THE WEEK " Apparently, porn is right up there with Mom and apple pie. " - MARK MILOSCIA, a Democratic State Rep- resentative from Washington, on the public's anger over his proposal to institute an 18.5 per- cent sales tax on sex toys and explicit maga- zines. Miloscia's initiative was part of an effort to shore up the state's budget deficit "The only thing green about Peter Mandelson is the slime coursing through his veins." - LELIA DEEN, a protester from the environmen- tal group Plane Stupid, defending herself for dump- ing a bucket of green liquid on the face of Lord Peter Mandelson, business secretary in the British government. Deen claimed Mandelson had been involved in questionable dealings with lobbyists ILLUSTRATIONS BY JOHN OQUIST Martha Cooked inside the mysterious bastion of single-sex living Recall your experience of liv- ing in the residence halls. During this rite of passage, you might have encountered one or more of the fol- lowing: nasty dorm food, a run-in with a drunken (and possibly vom- iting) roommate, gettingsexiled (or sexiling someone else) and adjust- ing to the awkward concept of com- munity bathrooms. You probably trudged through it, counting down the days until you could adopt a liv- ing situation that afforded you a little dignity. But there is a residence hall that doesn't inspire that same repulsion to on-campus living. It's a place where the residents take pride in their residence hall experience and form a community of unique mor- als and traditions. It's also a place that, for many students on cam- pus, remains shrouded in mystery and confusion. The place is Mar- tha Cook - a bastion of single-sex housing that evokes a time in the University's history when men and women students slept on separate sides of the Engineering Arch. Laura Hahn, an LSA freshman who lives in Martha Cook, agreed to act as my guide to campus's most enigmatic dorm. It's true that men cannot enter the dorm with- out a resident escort, but the same goes for outside women. Only with Hahn's help could I gain admit-' tance to the hallowed hall. After attempting to get in the doors twice and failing, I opted to wait outside for my escort to return from class. There were just a few people around me, looking about as unsure of themselves as I felt - a couple awkward-looking boys fidgeting in their tennis shoes and a girl with fiery red hair. As I finally followed Hahn inside to the dorm's lobby, I was amazed by the tall ceilings, long hallways, tapestries and wood-engraved walls. It was as if we had jumped out of Ann Arbor and into a Char- lotte Bront8 novel. People were talking in small groups all around me - we had come just in time for Martha Cook's Friday night teatime. I was surrounded by some of the most delicious desserts I've ever seen - freshtcookies, rice crispy treats and beautiful rakes - all made by the Martha Cook chef, whose specialty is desserts. Teatime takes place in one of the large lobbies, called the Gold Room for its dazzling floors, walls and furniture. The picturesque room was teeming with residents and their guests, mostly young women and visiting family members. Despite the formal-looking room, I didn't feel out of place in my brown Converse and thermal shirt. The room was so full of tea timers that it took Hahn a couple minutes to find us a quiet place where we could sit and talk. I figured the best way to break the ice was to immediately address the "Martha Cook" stereotype: a "cookie-cutter, prim and proper girl," as described by Hahn. She said the girls are aware of the stigma that surrounds their living situation, and she thinks that a lot of Martha Cook's mystique stems from the moment students step onto campus for their orientation tour. "I remember Martha Cook being a part of the tours, but not a lot of the tour guides even know much about it," Hahn said. "So it's kind of like they instill that mystery into new students and it kind of just continues on." Martha Cook has a different meal plan from other dorms, mean- ing non-residents can't use their M-Cards to eat in the hall. Lau- ren Humphrey, Assistant Resident Director for Martha Cook, said that fact might give students the impres- sion that the dorm is odd overall. "You can't just wander in and eat ti here if you don't live creates more of a n makes people assume snobby," Humphrey sai Although there is a of rules in place at M - mandatory house m hours for receiving m and required work duty oppressive as many pec "I know there a lot o conceptions," Hahn sai whole curfew thing-tI one. Most people are would you want to do t Martha Cook reside required to be home time. But there are visitation hours for men - 11:00 a.m. to midnight on weekdays and until 2:00 a.m. on weekends. Anoth- er rule stipulates that each resident does one hour of tea service each semester. Break- / ing the rules can lead to being kicked out, but Humphrey, who deals with most resident issues, said that such a measure has rare- ly been taken. Teatime, the main buzz on campus surround- ing Martha Cook, is every Friday and is one of the major traditions. But the women do ILLUSTRATION BY LAURA GARAvoGLIA a lot more than just drink tea. here, which Residents are given a detailed event nystery and calendar at the beginning of each that we are semester, complete with the spe- id. cial teatimes, dinners, dances and stricter set other events. Amongst other tradi- lartha Cook tions, there are "sit-downs" every neetings, set Wednesday, which can be formal - sale visitors no jeans allowed - or informal. - it's not as "We all gather outside the din- tple think. ing hall doors that open at 5:15, and then we would stand behind our chairs," Hahn said, "Then, we all would sing a song, and then sit down at the same time and eat together." There is also ahistorical relation- ship with the Lawyer's Club, which Hahn explains is from having the same founder - William Cook. Once a year, Martha Cook invites the lawyers over for lunch and ask that they do not bring friends. In the past, the strange coupling of young undergraduate women and older law students may have helped young ladies in attaining their Mrs. degrees - in other words, a fine lawyer husband. But Hahn said that the groups now associate out of tradition, not to make matches. "It doesn't have the same conno- tation as it did in the past," she said. "This isn't the '70s and they aren't trying to pair us up." tahn enjoys having the opportu- nity to attend events put on by Mar- tha Cook, all of which are optional. "It has a little bit more of a com- munity because they do have the events set up for us," she said. "I don't want to make a comparison to a sorority because it's not. But we do have Marion Law who is our res- ident director, who does live here with us, and we have compared her to like a 'house mother,' as well as our own cooking staff separate from the university." When compared to walking through my whitewashed hallway See MARTHA COOK, Page 8B TALKING POINTS Three things you can talk about this week: 1. Madoff's guilty plea 2. Bailout watchman Earl E. Devaney 3. Secret letters to Russia And three things you can't 1. Michael Jackson's return 2. Kilpatrick's law suit 3. Brad Pitt on Capitol Hill "The fact that this happened at all is outrageous." - JODY P. WEIS, superintendent of the Chicago police, condemning seven police officers who failed to notice that a 14-year-old boy was impersonating an officer for five hours. The boy drove a patrol car and helped arrest a subject by pinning the man down so he could be handcuffed BY THE NUMBERS YOUTUBE VIDEO COF THE WEEK Marketing pranks Let's face it: telemarketers are annoying. They waste your time try- ing to sell you worthless items that you'll never use. Well, Tom Mabe has decided to fight back. In this video, the comedian Mabe receives a call from Bob, a telemar- keterfrom atlocal cemetery. Bob says he's trying to give Mabe "peace of mind" by selling him a prearranged burial plot. After Bob is done making his pitch, Mabe starts whimpering, explainingtoBobthatherecentlylost his job and that his wife left him. In fact, Mabe says, he was contemplat- ing suicide right before Bob called. With his voice quivering, Mabe tells Bob that he was praying to God for a sign of whether or not he should kill himself. This sign, Mabe says, is Bob, who offered Mabe a burial plot right when he was about to kill him- self. Bob stutters nervously, plead- ing with Mabe that he only called because Mabe's on his list. But Mabe remains defiant: "You're the angel of death, man," he says. Now, the fun begins. Mabe inquires about the various deals Bob can offer. Seeing his opportunity to make a sale, Bob reassures Mabe of the affordability of the plot. Mabe then asks about financ- ing options for the burial plot. Still unaware that this is a prank, Bob asks Mabe if he has a credit card or checking account to pay for the plot. But Mabe might not be able to hold out for that long. Then Bob issues the coup de grace of this video. "If I got the paperwork out to you this afternoon, do you think you could hold off until tomorrow?" -BRIAN TENGEL See this and other YouTube videos ofthe week at youtube.com/user/michigandaily f false mis- d. "Like the hat's a huge like, 'Why hat?"' nts are not at any set Number of jobs California lost in January Number of unemployed people in California Percentage of the California workforce that is unemployed, the highest in almost 26 years Source: T e Los Angeles Times THEME PARTY SUGGESTION R.I.P American Dream - Remember a year ago, when the U.S. actually had a functioning economy? Remember the American dream of owning a house and a car? Apparently, those were the good old days. Now, we're in the throes of an economic meltdown. In this atmosphere, even listening to Obama - once a beacon of hope - is unbearably depressing. For this, there's only one remedy: jump on board with that boom in alcohol purchases. Throwing this party? Let us know. TheStatement@umich.edu STUDY OF THE WEEK Doodlers may have better memory retention People who doodle while listening to detailed information have a bet- ter retention than those who don't doodle, according to a study recent- ly published in the journal Applied Cognitive Psychology by Jackie Andrade, a psychologist at the University of Plymouth in England. In the study, Andrade selected two groups of 20 people who had just completed a different psychology experiment to listen to a two-and-a- half-minute voicemail recording that they were told would be boring. The message was a fake invitation to a 21st birthday party. While listening, both groups were supposed to write downthe names of the party guests and the places mentioned. But half of the participants were told to shade in little circles and squares while listening. After the message, the participants were asked to verbally recall the names and places mentioned in the voicemail. Those who doodled remembered on average 7.5 out of 16 pieces of information, while those who didn't doodle recalled only 5.8 items, - BRIAN TENGEL