The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
Monday; February 9, 2009 - 5A
Finding the right
reality show host
Reality competition - a cat-
egory which now includes
everything from classic
game shows like "Jeopardy" to exotic
ventures like "The
Amazing Race"
- is among the
fastest-growing i
television genres
of all time. And
* with so many new
shows popping JANVWE
up recently, there BLOM
are some shows
that succeed and many more that
are utter shit. One thing that can't be
underestimated (though it so often
is), is the importance the choice of
host has in making or breaking a
show's critical acclaim.
Last year the Emmys - the award
show everyone has yet to care about
- created a new category. It's one
that should have been around since
the Emmys first recognized reality
TV as a respectable genre: Outstand-
ing Host for a Reality or Reality-
Competition Program.
First of all, does anyone else think
it's funny that the Emmys isn't even
qualified to give awards with "Best"
in their names, instead settling for
the word "Outstanding?" Anyway,
harping on the Emmys aside, the
awards show actually did a good job
on this one. The new category is one
of the best ideas the Emmys has had
in a good long while.
Now, normally I'd be opposed
to anybody creating the possibility
for Ryan Seacrest or Howie Mandel
to win an award. I'd wince if I saw
them holding even a Little League
"Most Improved Player" trophy,
let alone an Emmy. Luckily, the
2008 award went to Jeff Probst, the
deserving long-time host of "Survi-
vor" and subject of one of my middle
school Halloween costumes.
But this award's purpose isn't just
to give Seacrest a good dose of rejec-
tion. It's to point out how crucial it
is for a show to have a good host if it
wants to succeed.
If you need an example, then come
on down. You're the next contestant
on "The Price is Right." The classic
game show lost a large chunk of its
viewership in the transition from
Bob Barker to Drew Carey - and for
a good reason. Barker had a hosting
knack that Carey still hasn't seemed
to pick up. Another prime example is
"The Weakest Link," which was pop-
ular not because of the game itself
but just because of the acerbic, bitter
wit of host Anne Robinson.
But in the same way that a great
host can invigorate an otherwise
plain program, a terrible host can
ruin even the best ideas. Now, I'm
sure you all have your own opinion,
but I'm going to go ahead and crown
my own choices for king and queen
of terrible reality competition hosts.
For king, I choose Chuck Woolery,
specifically for his work on "Lingo."
The game show is a smart little mix
between a spelling contest, Mas-
termind and Bingo. Unfortunately,
Woolery can't spell, he's certainly
not a mastermind and he probably
doesn't even fully understand how
Bingo works.
For queen, I'm picking a host from
a show you hopefully never forced
yourself to watch (but I did). "On the
Lot" was a reality competition run by
Steven Spielberg to find the next big
Hollywood director. The show was
hosted by the brain-meltingly irritat-
ing Adrianna Costa. Every time one
of the contestants' short films con-
tained an explosion or a fight scene,
you couldn't help but wish she'd get
caught in the crossfire. Her inability
to say anything insightful is yet more
proof that sleeping your way to the
top still works.
But the formula of "quality of host
equals quality of ratings" doesn't
always hold up. There have been sev-
eral anomalies in reality TV - shows
with good ideas and good hosts that
still, for whatever reason, don't suc-
ceed. That's why this new Emmy
category can be such a good thing, if
used correctly.
If only we'd had this category in
2002, for instance, then maybe "The
Mole" would never have been can-
Anderson Cooper
got shafted.
celed, only to return last year with
a much worse host and a lower pro-
duction value.
So who was this mysterious host
who could've, if officially recognized
for his awesomeness, saved "The
Mole" from premature cancellation?
None other than CNN's resident
heartthrob, Anderson Cooper. That's
right. One of hard-hitting journalist
Cooper's first accolades was for host-
ing a gimmicky (though absolutely
amazing and completely under-appre-
ciated) reality competition show.
In fact, there are several current
reality TV hosts who were, in my
opinion, snubbed. The foremost in
my mind is Cat Deeley of"So You
Think You Can Dance," which has
the unfortunate stigma of often
beingconfused with the much worse
"Dancing with the Stars." Not only is
Deeleyeasier on the eyes than all the
non-Heidi Klurn nominees from last
year's Emmys, but she bringsaslot of
energy to the show and keeps it mov-
ingwith a refreshing enthusiasm.
If reality competitions are going to
continue to thrive - which I, unlike
many others I'm sure, think they
should - then their creators need
to realize the importance of a good
host. You wouldn't want to see Ryan
Seacrest hosting "Survivor" or Jeff
Probst hosting "American Idol" (or
Adrianna Costa hosting anything).
Also, the Emmys need to look past the
big-name shows to see the Anderson
Coopers and Cat Deeleys hidden
among the Seacrests and Probsts.
And finally, though most impor-
tantly, someone needs to fire Chuck
Woolery.
Block needs new Halloween
costume ideas. E-mail him your
favorites at jamblockumich.ed
"Do we really need another box of Gushers?"
It's just not that good
Star-powered film can't tier people dealing with the same shit? Inspired When a character lingers late after a party
by a scene from a "Sex and the City" episode, just to have her advances harshly rejected, the
offer any worthwhile the film is like "Crash" for lovers. result is a train wreck: It's difficult to watch
in the middle of it all is Gigi (Ginnifer Good- but impossible to look away from. It's troubling
insight on relationships win, TV's "Big Love"), a 20-something who's that the film uses such moments of romantic
Y
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By ANNIE LEVENE
Daily Arts Writer
The best-selling self-help book by John Gray
offered neurotic singletons and couples a bit of
valuable eponymous insight:
"Men Are from Mars, Women **
Are from Venus." The idea
behind the book was that He's Just
people of different genders
might as well be from differ- Not That
ent planets in terms of their into YOU
emotional needs. But con-
sider this counter argument: At Showcase
Men and women may be and Quality16
planets away in terms of how New Line
they choose to communi-
cate, but when it comes to matters of the heart,
everyone is the same. Everyone is nuts.
A movie like "He's Just Not That Into You"
capitalizes on the inescapable fact that relation-
ships bring out the inner craziness in just about
everyone. After all, why deal with real messed-
up relationships when a movie can depict pret-
looking - scratch that, obsessively hunting
- for love in all the wrong places. Her break-
through revelation - some guys may "just not
be that into her" - is a catalyst for the rest of
the film, in which she and various other trou-
bled lovers try to understand the gap between
what is love and what is just game-playing.
The film is wisely stacked with bold-faced,
big-name stars, and the charisma of actresses
Drew Barrynore ('Lucky You") and Jennifer
Aniston ("Marley and Me") makes their scenes
some of the film's more enjoyable and touching
moments. Yes, the two play modified variations
of the characters they always play, but they're
charming nonetheless. Less can be said for the
men - they are basically props for women to
project their neurotic thoughts onto. But kudos
to Ben Affleck ('Smokin' Aces") who snagged a
role that will have moviegoers - particularly
females - "aww" in adoration.
"He's Just Not That into You" also boasts a
surprisingly strong plot considering its origin
as asingle line of dialogue uttered in a "Sex and
the City" episode years ago. Nevertheless, the
subject matter isnstill awfully cringe-worthy.
humiliation as instances of humor. Gigi's self-
delusion is played for laughs, but it's not funny
or entertaining. It's just sad.
The real deal-breaker for the film, how-
ever, is its overall message. After her optimis-
tic love-bubble is burst, Gigi explains to her
female coworkers that she is the "rule," not
the "exception," meaning that she, like others,
will never change men into what she wants
she want them tobe.
But the film still finishes wrapped in a tidy
bow with fairy tale endings and multiple love
matches. The movie demands that reality be
applied to relationships. But it also implies that
a simple crossing of fingers and heartfelt wishes
are enough to get that one true prince to get his
ass off the couch and onto a white horse in order
to sweep his princess away. And those two quali-
ties are at significant odds with each other.
If "He's Just Not That Into You" is this gen-
eration's self-help book, then everyone is in for a
world of trouble. Here's a real piece of relation-
ship advice: If you don't want to be forced to
obsess about the ins and outs of complicated love
lives, then this movie is probably not for you.
'Crawling' can't stand on its owl
Rob
most
in his
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The Cr
Poll
By JACK PORTER '90s with his legendary band Guid-
DailyArts Writer ed by Voices, which garnered a
wealth of popular and critical rec-
'ert Pollard is one of the ognition. In the interceding years,
prolific recorded musicians it's understandable that the indie
tory, with stalwart may have lost a measure
,000 songs * of vitality. No surprise, then, that
is name. his latest songs ring hollow.
counting Robert The Crawling Distance shares
irojects, he - much in common with Pollard's
leased six Pollard earlier compositions. Simple,
s in the The Crawling lo-fi, 4/4-time guitar pop is his
two years Distance preferred mode of expression.
Someone Guided by Voices One difference is that both his
i tell him oddball lyrics and faux-British
.e a vaca- accent have become more promi-
ecause his haste might have nent - and annoying - than ever
the waste of discspace that is before. On this album, preten-
-awlingDistance. sion and boredom meet like star-
lard's best work was in the crossed lovers.
Right from the opening track,
"Faking My Harlequin," it's clear
that something is amiss. The shiny
guitar chords and metronomic
beats are inoffensive enough on
their own, but Pollard's timid war-
bling sounds out of place. His raw
and eccentric vocals clash with the
polished yet bland instrumental
elements. And his endless refrain
of, "It's just my luck, yeah," is hard-
ly inspiring.
"Cave Zone" manages to be
spectacularly worse. Its plodding
two-chord verses are monotonous,-
and the brain-dead lyrics are alien-
ating. Perhaps the most laughable
stanza is: "Come on, come on stop
trying to page me on the phone /
Come on, come on stop trying to
break me won't you / take me to
my cave zone." By the end of the
song, all that is clear is that Pol-
lard immensely enjoys yelling the
words, "cave zone."
The more cheery "The Butler
Stands For All of Us" suffers from
an entirely different set of prob-
lems. Cloyingly optimistic, its '70s
AM radio warmth dampens the
composition's impact. Likea senile
guru, Pollard dispenses such use-
less advice as, "It pays to know
who you are /'cause that's who you
are," and more obscurely, "Ease off
on your querulous side-kicks /stop
lurking behind them."
But the atrocities don't end
there. "It's Easy" sleepwalks
through a nursery-rhyme melody
and Pollard's'band plays without
enthusiasm. As an added bonus,
the track contains the album's
most deliciously awful lyric: "Safe
and please us / tax-exempt with
touchdown Jesus."
The Crawling Distance's litany
of flaws is almost comical. Not
only does Pollard pen insular
and silly lyrics, he sings them
in an affected British whimper.
So flawed it's
almost funny.
His band handles boring chord
progressions with mechanical
lameness. The disc's songs lack
dynamic thrust, failing to prop-
erly crescendo or climax. And the
minimal, dry production simply
augments its other failings.
When an album doesn't inspire
emotion, contemplation, imagi-
nation or even the simple urge to
dance, the musicians have done
their listeners a great disservice.
Pollard's latest lark achieves that
rare distinction; The CrawlingDis-
tance is worthless.
A locked box of thrilling escapes
By ERIC CHIU
For the Daily
When historians look back on
present-day American pop culture,
they're likely to
pick up on one
thing quickly.
Never mind the
countless shows One WayOut
about misan- Mondays
thropic savants at 9 p.m.
and fornicating Discovery
doctors and how
they say some-
thing insightful about American
culture - people just enjoyed seeing
other people do stupid things on tele-
vision. It's from this collective inter-
est that Discovery Channel's latest
show, "One Way Out," emerges.
"One Way Out" follows British
escape artist Jonathan Goodwin as
he attempts to escape from various
contraptions. If that sounds high-
concept, rest assured that the execu-
tion isn't. Still, the show's ability to
push the envelope in ways only basic
cable shows can, along with Good-
win's charisma as a host, makes for
watchable television.
Episodes loosely revolve around
testing theories, with Goodwin and
his collaborators performing vari-
ous small-scale stunts that lead up
to large-scale escapes. But basically
the premises of the show are excus-
es to put Goodwin into progressive-
ly more absurd situations.
The premiere opens with Good-
win attemptingto pull a scorpion out
of his duct-taped mouth while hav-
ing his hands zip-tied to atable and
being repeatedly slapped in the face
by his cameraman. Whether or not
"One Way Out" sounds appealing
probably depends on how strange
this all sounds. But the show's
appeal relies largely on the suspense
of Goodwin's performance.
Goodwin is likable enough, so
it's hard to root against him getting
out of the pickles into which he puts
himself. He garnered just as much
fame for successful stunts asbotched
ones in his native Britain, and thelat-
ter failures are generously depicted
in the show, which injects a sense of
danger into the final stunts.
Unfortunately, the biggest prob-
lem in "One Way Out" is what
The poor man's
'Jackass.'
comes before the major stunts. This
minor material is simply unneces-
sary and rarely hits the creative
plateaus and excitement of the big
escapes. The smaller bits between
each major escape are described
as experiments for the episode's
theme, but feel more like rejected
"Fear Factor" concepts. -
While preparing to enter a cage
full of bees, Goodwin lets his cam-
eraman and himself get repeatedly
stung by the bees. And in the second
episode, the two intentionally get
hypothermia. There's an exhibition-
ist vein running through these seg-
ments - but they're considerably
less fun without the grand scale of
the larger escapes. Watching Good-
win escape from a dumpster filled
with ice water that is covered with
a sheet of ice several inches thick
is unarguably entertaining, but
watching him get stung in the nip-
ple by a bee feels more voyeuristic
than enjoyable.
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Still, solid execution forgives
much and "One Way Out" manages
to make the most of its admittedly
simple premise. Even if the abuse
it inflicts on Goodwin skirts into a
poor man's "Jackass" territory at
times, the escape artist's gusto and
the show's taste for absurdly esca-
lating danger make for some com-
pelling, if wince-worthy, television.