The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Monday; February 9, 2009 - 5A Finding the right reality show host Reality competition - a cat- egory which now includes everything from classic game shows like "Jeopardy" to exotic ventures like "The Amazing Race" - is among the fastest-growing i television genres of all time. And * with so many new shows popping JANVWE up recently, there BLOM are some shows that succeed and many more that are utter shit. One thing that can't be underestimated (though it so often is), is the importance the choice of host has in making or breaking a show's critical acclaim. Last year the Emmys - the award show everyone has yet to care about - created a new category. It's one that should have been around since the Emmys first recognized reality TV as a respectable genre: Outstand- ing Host for a Reality or Reality- Competition Program. First of all, does anyone else think it's funny that the Emmys isn't even qualified to give awards with "Best" in their names, instead settling for the word "Outstanding?" Anyway, harping on the Emmys aside, the awards show actually did a good job on this one. The new category is one of the best ideas the Emmys has had in a good long while. Now, normally I'd be opposed to anybody creating the possibility for Ryan Seacrest or Howie Mandel to win an award. I'd wince if I saw them holding even a Little League "Most Improved Player" trophy, let alone an Emmy. Luckily, the 2008 award went to Jeff Probst, the deserving long-time host of "Survi- vor" and subject of one of my middle school Halloween costumes. But this award's purpose isn't just to give Seacrest a good dose of rejec- tion. It's to point out how crucial it is for a show to have a good host if it wants to succeed. If you need an example, then come on down. You're the next contestant on "The Price is Right." The classic game show lost a large chunk of its viewership in the transition from Bob Barker to Drew Carey - and for a good reason. Barker had a hosting knack that Carey still hasn't seemed to pick up. Another prime example is "The Weakest Link," which was pop- ular not because of the game itself but just because of the acerbic, bitter wit of host Anne Robinson. But in the same way that a great host can invigorate an otherwise plain program, a terrible host can ruin even the best ideas. Now, I'm sure you all have your own opinion, but I'm going to go ahead and crown my own choices for king and queen of terrible reality competition hosts. For king, I choose Chuck Woolery, specifically for his work on "Lingo." The game show is a smart little mix between a spelling contest, Mas- termind and Bingo. Unfortunately, Woolery can't spell, he's certainly not a mastermind and he probably doesn't even fully understand how Bingo works. For queen, I'm picking a host from a show you hopefully never forced yourself to watch (but I did). "On the Lot" was a reality competition run by Steven Spielberg to find the next big Hollywood director. The show was hosted by the brain-meltingly irritat- ing Adrianna Costa. Every time one of the contestants' short films con- tained an explosion or a fight scene, you couldn't help but wish she'd get caught in the crossfire. Her inability to say anything insightful is yet more proof that sleeping your way to the top still works. But the formula of "quality of host equals quality of ratings" doesn't always hold up. There have been sev- eral anomalies in reality TV - shows with good ideas and good hosts that still, for whatever reason, don't suc- ceed. That's why this new Emmy category can be such a good thing, if used correctly. If only we'd had this category in 2002, for instance, then maybe "The Mole" would never have been can- Anderson Cooper got shafted. celed, only to return last year with a much worse host and a lower pro- duction value. So who was this mysterious host who could've, if officially recognized for his awesomeness, saved "The Mole" from premature cancellation? None other than CNN's resident heartthrob, Anderson Cooper. That's right. One of hard-hitting journalist Cooper's first accolades was for host- ing a gimmicky (though absolutely amazing and completely under-appre- ciated) reality competition show. In fact, there are several current reality TV hosts who were, in my opinion, snubbed. The foremost in my mind is Cat Deeley of"So You Think You Can Dance," which has the unfortunate stigma of often beingconfused with the much worse "Dancing with the Stars." Not only is Deeleyeasier on the eyes than all the non-Heidi Klurn nominees from last year's Emmys, but she bringsaslot of energy to the show and keeps it mov- ingwith a refreshing enthusiasm. If reality competitions are going to continue to thrive - which I, unlike many others I'm sure, think they should - then their creators need to realize the importance of a good host. You wouldn't want to see Ryan Seacrest hosting "Survivor" or Jeff Probst hosting "American Idol" (or Adrianna Costa hosting anything). Also, the Emmys need to look past the big-name shows to see the Anderson Coopers and Cat Deeleys hidden among the Seacrests and Probsts. And finally, though most impor- tantly, someone needs to fire Chuck Woolery. Block needs new Halloween costume ideas. E-mail him your favorites at jamblockumich.ed "Do we really need another box of Gushers?" It's just not that good Star-powered film can't tier people dealing with the same shit? Inspired When a character lingers late after a party by a scene from a "Sex and the City" episode, just to have her advances harshly rejected, the offer any worthwhile the film is like "Crash" for lovers. result is a train wreck: It's difficult to watch in the middle of it all is Gigi (Ginnifer Good- but impossible to look away from. It's troubling insight on relationships win, TV's "Big Love"), a 20-something who's that the film uses such moments of romantic Y Z :r 5 c By ANNIE LEVENE Daily Arts Writer The best-selling self-help book by John Gray offered neurotic singletons and couples a bit of valuable eponymous insight: "Men Are from Mars, Women ** Are from Venus." The idea behind the book was that He's Just people of different genders might as well be from differ- Not That ent planets in terms of their into YOU emotional needs. But con- sider this counter argument: At Showcase Men and women may be and Quality16 planets away in terms of how New Line they choose to communi- cate, but when it comes to matters of the heart, everyone is the same. Everyone is nuts. A movie like "He's Just Not That Into You" capitalizes on the inescapable fact that relation- ships bring out the inner craziness in just about everyone. After all, why deal with real messed- up relationships when a movie can depict pret- looking - scratch that, obsessively hunting - for love in all the wrong places. Her break- through revelation - some guys may "just not be that into her" - is a catalyst for the rest of the film, in which she and various other trou- bled lovers try to understand the gap between what is love and what is just game-playing. The film is wisely stacked with bold-faced, big-name stars, and the charisma of actresses Drew Barrynore ('Lucky You") and Jennifer Aniston ("Marley and Me") makes their scenes some of the film's more enjoyable and touching moments. Yes, the two play modified variations of the characters they always play, but they're charming nonetheless. Less can be said for the men - they are basically props for women to project their neurotic thoughts onto. But kudos to Ben Affleck ('Smokin' Aces") who snagged a role that will have moviegoers - particularly females - "aww" in adoration. "He's Just Not That into You" also boasts a surprisingly strong plot considering its origin as asingle line of dialogue uttered in a "Sex and the City" episode years ago. Nevertheless, the subject matter isnstill awfully cringe-worthy. humiliation as instances of humor. Gigi's self- delusion is played for laughs, but it's not funny or entertaining. It's just sad. The real deal-breaker for the film, how- ever, is its overall message. After her optimis- tic love-bubble is burst, Gigi explains to her female coworkers that she is the "rule," not the "exception," meaning that she, like others, will never change men into what she wants she want them tobe. But the film still finishes wrapped in a tidy bow with fairy tale endings and multiple love matches. The movie demands that reality be applied to relationships. But it also implies that a simple crossing of fingers and heartfelt wishes are enough to get that one true prince to get his ass off the couch and onto a white horse in order to sweep his princess away. And those two quali- ties are at significant odds with each other. If "He's Just Not That Into You" is this gen- eration's self-help book, then everyone is in for a world of trouble. Here's a real piece of relation- ship advice: If you don't want to be forced to obsess about the ins and outs of complicated love lives, then this movie is probably not for you. 'Crawling' can't stand on its owl Rob most in his over 1, to h Not side p has re album past t alone. should to tak tion, b led to t The Cr Poll By JACK PORTER '90s with his legendary band Guid- DailyArts Writer ed by Voices, which garnered a wealth of popular and critical rec- 'ert Pollard is one of the ognition. In the interceding years, prolific recorded musicians it's understandable that the indie tory, with stalwart may have lost a measure ,000 songs * of vitality. No surprise, then, that is name. his latest songs ring hollow. counting Robert The Crawling Distance shares irojects, he - much in common with Pollard's leased six Pollard earlier compositions. Simple, s in the The Crawling lo-fi, 4/4-time guitar pop is his two years Distance preferred mode of expression. Someone Guided by Voices One difference is that both his i tell him oddball lyrics and faux-British .e a vaca- accent have become more promi- ecause his haste might have nent - and annoying - than ever the waste of discspace that is before. On this album, preten- -awlingDistance. sion and boredom meet like star- lard's best work was in the crossed lovers. Right from the opening track, "Faking My Harlequin," it's clear that something is amiss. The shiny guitar chords and metronomic beats are inoffensive enough on their own, but Pollard's timid war- bling sounds out of place. His raw and eccentric vocals clash with the polished yet bland instrumental elements. And his endless refrain of, "It's just my luck, yeah," is hard- ly inspiring. "Cave Zone" manages to be spectacularly worse. Its plodding two-chord verses are monotonous,- and the brain-dead lyrics are alien- ating. Perhaps the most laughable stanza is: "Come on, come on stop trying to page me on the phone / Come on, come on stop trying to break me won't you / take me to my cave zone." By the end of the song, all that is clear is that Pol- lard immensely enjoys yelling the words, "cave zone." The more cheery "The Butler Stands For All of Us" suffers from an entirely different set of prob- lems. Cloyingly optimistic, its '70s AM radio warmth dampens the composition's impact. Likea senile guru, Pollard dispenses such use- less advice as, "It pays to know who you are /'cause that's who you are," and more obscurely, "Ease off on your querulous side-kicks /stop lurking behind them." But the atrocities don't end there. "It's Easy" sleepwalks through a nursery-rhyme melody and Pollard's'band plays without enthusiasm. As an added bonus, the track contains the album's most deliciously awful lyric: "Safe and please us / tax-exempt with touchdown Jesus." The Crawling Distance's litany of flaws is almost comical. Not only does Pollard pen insular and silly lyrics, he sings them in an affected British whimper. So flawed it's almost funny. His band handles boring chord progressions with mechanical lameness. The disc's songs lack dynamic thrust, failing to prop- erly crescendo or climax. And the minimal, dry production simply augments its other failings. When an album doesn't inspire emotion, contemplation, imagi- nation or even the simple urge to dance, the musicians have done their listeners a great disservice. Pollard's latest lark achieves that rare distinction; The CrawlingDis- tance is worthless. A locked box of thrilling escapes By ERIC CHIU For the Daily When historians look back on present-day American pop culture, they're likely to pick up on one thing quickly. Never mind the countless shows One WayOut about misan- Mondays thropic savants at 9 p.m. and fornicating Discovery doctors and how they say some- thing insightful about American culture - people just enjoyed seeing other people do stupid things on tele- vision. It's from this collective inter- est that Discovery Channel's latest show, "One Way Out," emerges. "One Way Out" follows British escape artist Jonathan Goodwin as he attempts to escape from various contraptions. If that sounds high- concept, rest assured that the execu- tion isn't. Still, the show's ability to push the envelope in ways only basic cable shows can, along with Good- win's charisma as a host, makes for watchable television. Episodes loosely revolve around testing theories, with Goodwin and his collaborators performing vari- ous small-scale stunts that lead up to large-scale escapes. But basically the premises of the show are excus- es to put Goodwin into progressive- ly more absurd situations. The premiere opens with Good- win attemptingto pull a scorpion out of his duct-taped mouth while hav- ing his hands zip-tied to atable and being repeatedly slapped in the face by his cameraman. Whether or not "One Way Out" sounds appealing probably depends on how strange this all sounds. But the show's appeal relies largely on the suspense of Goodwin's performance. Goodwin is likable enough, so it's hard to root against him getting out of the pickles into which he puts himself. He garnered just as much fame for successful stunts asbotched ones in his native Britain, and thelat- ter failures are generously depicted in the show, which injects a sense of danger into the final stunts. Unfortunately, the biggest prob- lem in "One Way Out" is what The poor man's 'Jackass.' comes before the major stunts. This minor material is simply unneces- sary and rarely hits the creative plateaus and excitement of the big escapes. The smaller bits between each major escape are described as experiments for the episode's theme, but feel more like rejected "Fear Factor" concepts. - While preparing to enter a cage full of bees, Goodwin lets his cam- eraman and himself get repeatedly stung by the bees. And in the second episode, the two intentionally get hypothermia. There's an exhibition- ist vein running through these seg- ments - but they're considerably less fun without the grand scale of the larger escapes. Watching Good- win escape from a dumpster filled with ice water that is covered with a sheet of ice several inches thick is unarguably entertaining, but watching him get stung in the nip- ple by a bee feels more voyeuristic than enjoyable. EA2'S FINES'T& FAST EST S{NCE= 1373 % T-SHIRT PRINTER Y -Expert Screenprinting * Embroidery TEES, SWEATS, SHORTS a CAPS, TOTES, APRONS Mule-calor j We Turn Printinmg YonurSketch Our Speciality IntoT r-ShirtArt EMAIL DESIGN FOR PROMPT QUOTEE CATALOGUE, &EMAILUNKAT B SMIN. ROM CAMPU C5 73 T S02 PONTIAC TR. 941 Work alongside fellow students while Marketing Classified display and line ads to clients Obtaining and building client relationships Gaining priceless sales experience Improvingyour resume Making a commission-based salary ...and having FUN at the same time Please e-mail dailyclassified@gmail.com, call (734) 764-0557, or stop at 420 Maynard to apply Deadline is March 2, 5:00pm Don't Let This Great Opportunity Pass You By! Still, solid execution forgives much and "One Way Out" manages to make the most of its admittedly simple premise. Even if the abuse it inflicts on Goodwin skirts into a poor man's "Jackass" territory at times, the escape artist's gusto and the show's taste for absurdly esca- lating danger make for some com- pelling, if wince-worthy, television.