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March 13, 2008 - Image 11

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The Michigan Daily, 2008-03-13

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The Michigan Daily michigandaily.com Thursday, March1 , 8

0010

The Daily Arts
guide to the best
upcoming events
- it's everywhere
you should be this
weekend and why.

AT THE PIG
If you missed out on any
sort of gold party last
weekend, now's your time
to make up for it. The Solid
Pot o' Gold Bang! throws
down Saturday at the
Blind Pig. As usual, doors
open at 9:30 p.m. and
tickets are $8 for those
over 21 and $11 for anyone
over 18.

AT THE PODIUM
The Penny W. Stamps
Distinguished Visitors
Series continues with
McArthur Award winner
Julie Mehretu, scheduled
to make an appearance
in Ann Arbor today. Hear
the painter tonight at the
Michigan Theater at 5
p.m.

9p

TH INGS DAILY ARTS HATES
2008
here's something of a mantra that per- HEATH LEDGER EXCESSIVE FACEBOOK RSVPING
meates Daily Arts: If you don't hate The Australian accent might have been endearing for a I have a question: When you were in middle school and
things, you shouldn't be here. You've time, but Heath Ledger's acting skills were anything but. received an invitation to a bar mitzvah you couldn't attend,
This isn't an attack on the legacy of his character - it's an did you mail out your RSVP to everyone in a 30-mile radius?
seen it in the back row of Psych 111, when we attack on his lackluster career that the public has been too OK, so why doyou find it necessary to post on Facebook Event
r n disillusioned to recognize in the midst of recent Heath hype. walls to tell everyone on the fucking interweb that you wont
fry "Transformers" and Jack Johnson. And Don't try to shroud his lack of talent in a heap of tragic sen- be able to attend your friend's house party? We don't care if
though you may despise it, there's a reason timent just because you feel like a bad person for admitting you're spending the weekend in Albuquerque to attend your
you see so many one-star reviews, the truth. Fifty-three days ago, "10 Things I Hate About You" cousin's rocketry competition. If you need to explain why you
was lame and "A Knight's Tale" embarrassing. His defining can't make it to some awesome event, pick up your goddamn
We fall victim to the problem of evil: No cowboy role in "Brokeback Mountain" proved a cinematic phone and call the person who invited you. And while you're
ultimate evil yields no ultimate good. With- flop, even if the film did win three Oscars. Ledger's posthu- at it, disable your MySpace account, because I know you have
mous fame boost was inevitable (however misdirected) but one of those too.
out the likes of Jessica Alba, you simply can't warrants some serious review. Your post-overdose-career-
appreciate "H ills Like White Ele phants" - bump/grace period is over, Heath, and there are some things . ABRAMS
apprecate "Hlls Lie Whit Elephnts" Imdb.com can't hide. . A R M
the maddening dichotomy that rules the art A man who's garnered notoriety through anonymity and
d. i the dil th suspense, J.J. Abrams exists to be infuriating. He's dragged
worl. Tryingto reconcile te demma wit HOPWOOD AWARDS a show that could've ended in two seasons ("Lost") into an
arguments of subjectivity eventually proves So you won a Hopwood. Good for you. You're basically set astonishing four, with more in the works - not to mention
circular: This is good because I like it. I like it for life now. Your pen name - Amber Lovesalot or something the outlandish and unrealistic process by which he's accom-
equally overwrought - is kissing cousins with James Joyce. plished this. He's also responsible for such hype machine
because it's good. Hell, don't even worry about improving your skills anymore blunders as "Cloverfield," which showcases the worst part of
Everything must be judged against its con- because a randomly selected group of professors thought Abrams: Most of the shit he produces is shit. It's not enter-
,, your short story about the gutter of the big city was moder- tainng, shocking, fun or innovative. Hell, the "Cloverfield"
temporaries, and frankly, "Law and Order" ately better than all the other undergraduates' stories about monster wasn't even a glorified Godzilla. It looked like a
is worse than "The Wire." The pervasive- the gutter of the big city. Listen, your Hopwood doesn't mean crab-alligator that ate some potatoes from Chernobyl. It's
e a i e v shit. All it amounts to is some extra cash for a couple of beers like someone let him bypass filmmaking 101 because he'd
ness of -lackluster art inspires vitnol and is - and your East Quad crush will think you're totally deep. seen "Alien" and understood suspense. And anyone that uses
responsible for the cries of elitism that typi- Get over yourself: You're a mediocre writer who won a medi- their initials instead of their name needs a serious ego check.
cally accompany the words "Daily Arts." ocre award. Your 15 minutes is up. Fuck your movies and fuck your name.
We've been relegated to a journalistic sub- HOPS SHORTAGES (BULLSHIT) MUSIC GENRE LABELS
culture, abandoning precious favorites the You know, Michiganders have a lot of things to be cranky Adding "core" to the end of a word doesn't make it a genre
moment an art movement is co-opted by about: the weather, the economy, the weather. But damn we label and it doesn't make you cool to say them. Grindcore?
the mainstream. We sit in constant fear of have some good local beer, no? Jolly Pumpkin, Bell's, Arcadia, Gnarcore? Corecore? Things are getting out of hand, but
Dark Horse - not to mention our bar-breweries: ABC, Griz- nothing is worse than a painfully tedious laundry list to
our saviors being discovered by the bastard- zly Peak, Leopold's. If we can't bury our woes in the bottom describe the newest band Applewood Grime's release as
izing public, or simply relegating themselves of a brewsky, what else can we do? Take away our grog (or, at psychodelic-punk-folk-math-prog-glitter-glam-scorch-shit-
least, make it more expensive) and you risk our wrath. In one thrash-visceral-skunk-meat-tunnelcore. You're not fooling
to a commercialized, wet-blanket version of of those "you don't realize how awesome nature is until she anyone. It's rock. Maybe hard rock - maybe. Just because
their former selves, fucks you over" moments, our wallets are taking the brunt you talk the talk, it doesn't mean you'll get laid outside the
of a statewide hops shortage. Beer prices have gone up, and Blind Pig. Oh wait, it does. But only if you're looking to bone a
We hate things that we don't like. We Michigan's $25 million local beer industry is taking a beating. greasy motorcyclist listening to Mac Blagick who calls them
don't like things that we hate. You have your This is bullshit. Black Label will only bridge the gap for so noise-anxious-lo-fi-prog-fuckadelic-boner-shtick-turpen-
long. Grow, little hops, GROW. tine-machetecore.
taste, and we have ours. See HATE, Page 4B

AT THE DRUM
It's no secret that writing
styles are in the process
of transformation. Come
learn exactly how from
the experts at Shaman
Drum tomorrow when
authors Martha Vicinus
and Caroline Eisner of
"Originality, Imitation,
and Plagiarism" hold a
book signing tomorrow at
4:30 p.m.

AT THE MIC
Think you have musical
(or spoken word) talent?
Put it to the test tomorrow
at Open Mic Night in
the Michigan League
Underground. This is your
last chance to qualify for
the best of show in April.
The show is open to the
public and starts at 8:30
p.m.

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