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yTRAMU.ALS
Cont'd: What Ann
Arbor's ca brivers
have to say about
their passengers
CABS From page 4C med school doing breast cancer
(research)," he said.
Despite Johnson's rosy outlook
"For example, people think on the University's diversity, he
I'm Mexican," said Linda, who is said it's far from the ideal mix he
Indian. "They get into my cab and would like to see.
throw out every Spanish word they "The saddest thing I've seen is
know. how few black students there are
Linda said students don't always here," Johnson said. "And it just
acknowledge that they're acting breaks my heart."
racist after making assumptions Because of this, Johnson, who
like that, though. is black, said he worries that if his
"Everybody thinks~ of them- teenage daughter doesn't have a
selves as noble," she said. flawless academic record and ster-
Last year, a law school stu- lingrecommendations, she may not
dent said to her, "You must have have a chance to get into a univer-
dropped out in the third grade." sity she wants to attend when it's
Once, a football player got in her time for her to apply to college.
cab and said, "OK, so you're a crack Johnson said that one of the
whore, right?" worst incidents he's seen while
Apparently, that one player made driving a cab involved racism. He
enough of an impression on Linda once drove a student home to a fra-
to make her resent the whole team. ternity after a football game. When
"I really love it when the football the student got out, a meter maid
team gets spanked," she said. was issuing a warning because
She still drives the cab, she there was trash on the lawn.
said, because after putting herself "He talked to her like a dog,"
through school, debt has limited
her options.
"I am actually held hostage by you1obably
student loans," Linda said. "That's
whyI started drivinga cab,because don't remember
I was taking my exams without
books." them, but they
THE MELTING POT remember you.
If a statistician were to try to
predict where University stu-
dents come from based on the
sample of students who ride with Johnson said. "His disrespect for
them, their results would likely be her really ticked me off."
skewed. He said he couldn't help but
"If you count every person that thinking that disrespect had to do
goes to school here, it's gotta be with the fact that he was white and
fifty percent of the population she was black.
coming out of Long Island," Linda Johnson, who volunteers at a
said. "How diverse can Long Island non-profit organization through
be?" his church providing mentors for
Johnson said -the diversity young African-Americans, said
among University students was that usually when he encounters
one of the most prominent features University students he feels confi-
of Ann Arbor. From the blend of dent that they'll contribute to the
ethnicities to the wide variety of greater good when they leave the
subjects students pursue, Johnson University.
said he has seen it all. "But this guy scared me about
"I got a dancer in here one day, our future," he said. "I thought,
a nationally-ranked tennis player wow, will this be our governor
in here another and .someone in someday?"
Post-graduation
prophecies:
spiritual alternative
to the Career Center
A student turns to cyber soothsayers and an in-home
psychic for career counseling and marriage advice
'm a senior. According to my
life plan, I should be engaged
to a model/actress and have
an internship lined up at The New
York Times by now. This is not
remotely close to what's happen-
ing. Where should I turn in my
hour of need - the Career Center;
an academic adviser; Match.com?
How about the mystical realm of
infinite wisdom.
It should be fairly easy to fig-
ure out what to do with my life by
consulting the heavens. It's not like
they'll just spit out a multitude of
ambiguous nonsensical phrases
at me. I'm going to try to do this
online first, for free. Why would
destiny need money?
Fagade.com has everything I'm
looking for: tarot, runes, numerol-
ogy and celebrity compatibility.
Hot damn! Let's ask the tarot cards
if I'll find ajob after college:
"Irrationality and failure to rec-
ognize obvious facts, coupled with
a poor work ethic. Wastefulness,
lack of focus, and loss,"
Well shit, that's depressing, if
not exceedingly accurate or in any-
way related to my question, I hope.
At least it didn't tell me I'm going to
die, which is pretty good for a tarot
card reading. Let's try asking the
runes, mystical letters with links to
divination, when I'll find the girl of
my dreams.
"Tyr is the symbol of the war-
rior. This rune most represents
masculine force and potency, and
frequently victory in battle. This
rune is known to portend a great
victory that can be bought with a
terrible sacrifice."
What? What's the victory? Do I
have to raid a village or something
to find my girl? Is that what the
Runes are telling me? Well, I was
planning a trip to Michigan State
soon anyway. Before I go, let's find
out the most important answer of
all:
"Brad Pitt's Compatibility with
Paul: Appearance - 88%, Intel-
lect - 90%, Fortune - 97%, Overall
- 92%"
I knew it! But it would appear
that this entire site is just a ran-
domly generated pool of gibber-
ish. I need more than a machine;
I need a real live person to guide
me through these turbulent
times.
I'll be honest; I've never been
more scared entering my credit
card number over the phone before.
Since I'm a first-time customer,
I get 10 minutes for $1.99. Can't
beat that right? Now let's hope my
billing statement at the end of the
month agrees.
"Hi, this is Rubee Moon, I know
you have a question, so just go on
and ask it."
As I tell her about my pursuit for
my one true love, she seems nice
and understanding. And she won't
stop talking. Her sentences don't
seem to have punctuation as her
thoughts flow together lite the cur-
rent of a sparkling river. Damn it,
I'm talking like her now. Anyway,
turns out things are looking good
for me:
"Yes, I see, sometime before next
summer, you will meet a girl who
will be your spiritual counterpart
and you'll be deeply in love."
"Is she hot?"
"Ah, yes, yes, of course, she has big,
beautiful blue eyes. She's petite and
beautifully shaped."
Hopingthat"beautifullyshaped"
isn't code for something, I press on
with my career question.
"Yes, I can see you are masterful
with words, you need a job that will
challenge your creativity as I see
you are bored easily."
This would've been impressive if
I hadn't already told her I wanted
to go into journalism and hated my
current major, economics. It's kind
of like telling a lion tamer that you
see great danger in his future as
you see he enjoys thrills and excite-
ment.
She's currently going off about
my future vacation in the Baha-
mas with my beautifully shaped
girl. This is actually all soothing;
I can see why people do this now.
My 10 minutes cut off the fan-
tasy she's currently painting in
my mind, right before I have the
chance to ask her if she can back
up Fagade.com's claim that I'm
92 percnet compatible with Brad
Pitt.
This still isn't enough. Phone
calls are so, impersonal. What's the
next step?
"Hi, I'm Lisa, come on in!"
This is only vaguely creepy. I
expected a house filled with uni-
corn statues and- cats, but this
seems pretty normal. There's a
4-year-old girl running around
with glitter in her hair. I'm told
her name is Emma, not Daffodil or
Rainbow.
I'm led over to atable and offered
a drink. I'decline because as normal
as this place seems, I'm a little wary
of being slipped LSD and being told
I had a "paranormal experience"
when the trip wears off.
"What canI do for you?"
I explain my two big questions
See PSYCHIC, Page 11C
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