12 - Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
A man and his vinl
Records can hiss, pop and crackle.
They can warp, repeat and they can
skip. And I can't tell you how many
times a person older than 40 has walked up
the stairs, through the door of Wazoo and
said something along the lines of, "Wow!
Records! I can't believe they still make
these!" So sure, records
might be less conve-
nient than CDs, and the
sound quality might notI
typically be as good, but
guess what? They'ree
the love of my life, and
they'll be around for-
ever.
I remember my first x
encounter with records LLOYD H1
as vividly as I remem- CARGO
ber the night I lost my -
virginity. I came home
from school in sixth grade with a Grate-
ful Dead biography I'd chosen for a book
report, andI asked my parents if they had
any of their music. My mom scurried off to
the closet by the front door and pulled outa
crate of records I never knew existed. Next
it was up to the attic to retrieve the turn-
table, and before I knew it I was laying on
the floor surrounded by dusty sleeves and
these strange black discs. I was hooked.
My real education began the next sum-
mer, when my best friend Alex Morgan
moved away and a record store called
Shady Dog opened within walking distance
from my house. I started showing up every
day and hanging out for hours. It sounds
strange, but Mike and Dave, the owners
of the store, men older than my father,
became my new best friends. I spent hours
there every day, to the point where they
felt bad about not paying me, so they gave
me a job. I don't think Iever took homea
paycheck anyway, preferring to receive my
salary in records.
But why vinyl? Well, initially their allure
lay in their accessibility to me. They were
cheaper, and at the record store I frequent-
ed, there were simply more of them. But
as I grew older, I realized my relationship
with vinyl ran deeper than that.
Every used record has its own unique
history. Inevitably, unless it's literally
never played, a record accrues its own
unique flaws. It might be a tiny speck of
dust in a groove on the second side. But
after awhile, that particular copy of that
album starts to sound just a little different
from all the rest.
I'm not the first owner of the vast major-
ity of my records, nor will I be the last.
Furthermore, most of my records are more
than 40 years old, and they've been more
places than I have. I can just imagine my
dad separating seeds and stems on the
gatefold to Wheels ofFire or my Mom star-
ing at the limited edition Robert Rauschen-
berg designed pressing of the Talking
Heads Speakingin Tongues in the living
room of their new house in Nashville. Some
of my records have other people's names
or addresses written on them. Some have
little notes, or marks next to their favorite
tracks. Some are even from radio sta-
tions, so thousands of people have already
listened to that exact record. I've found
money in record sleeves, joints, hand-writ-
ten reviews and even amateur home por-
nography. I could tell you exactly where I
bought every single record I own. I think
it's safe to say that every album has a story.
And then there's the way records sound.
Without getting too technical, analog is a
more pure waveform than digital, and it
objectively sound better - although that's
assuming optimal playback conditions. In
reality, most people don't own mint LPs,
expensive turntables and diamond stylus-
es, but I'm no audiophile anyway. Records
just sound warmer to me.
I don't think there's anything in this
world that can give me the same satisfac-
tion I get from spending an afternoon
sifting through racks of records until my
fingers are covered in dust and grime,
walking home with a stack and sitting
down to listen to them. There's nothing
quite like dropping the needle on a record,
sitting back, examining the sleeve and just
listening.
And really, what better way to listen
to music than on the medium for which
the artist initially intended it? You would
rather see a Van Gogh in a museum than on
a poster on a dorm room wall, so why not
experience a Beatles album the same way
millions of people did when it was original-
ly released? I'm not saying CD's don't have
their place (I buy most of my new music
on the format and it's made releasing inde-
pendent music much cheaper and easier),
but when it comes down to it, there's really
no comparison. Then there are also the
nuances of song order, forced by the finite
number of grooves you can squeeze onto
12 inches of wax. Gone are the days when
artists had to keep their albums within the
30-45 minute range and worry about how
to open and close sides one and two. Simi-
larly, the rise of CDs has also signaled the
downfall of album art - ajewel case just
doesn't offer the same world of possibilities
as a cardboard sleeve (let alone a gatefold).
Records will outlast CDs too, and not
just because they're more collectable.
(Don't get me confused with a record col-
lector either, I may be a nerd, but not that
type of nerd.) Records will outlast CD's
because of their beautiful aesthetic. For
me, I can tellvinyl will be a lifelong affair,
but that doesn't mean you can't have a
more casual relationship. If you haven't
already, I admonish you to go out and get a
turntable. You can thank me later.
- Cargo loves nothing more
than talking about vinyl. He can be
reached at Ihcargo@umich.edu.
ARTS IN BRIEF
And now for something a wee different
MUSIC
Finally, a band
that captures the
essence of rock
Hellyeah
Hellyeah Sampler
Epic Records
Imagine, if you will, five guys
toasting pints of beer, each outfit-
ted with impressive facial hair and
a douche-bag-kind of smirk. Plus
there's an atomic bomb going off in
the back, for good measure. Maybe
it's a little cheesy, but this is the
image ofthe mosthardcore group of
musicians in contemporary music.
These guys are in their own strato-
sphere of intense, visceral metal.
I think a quote from an Amazon.
com customer review is in order:
"CHEERS MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!
GOGETCHA HELLYEAH!!!!"This
guy knows what I'm talking about.
I'm talking, of course, about the
metal supergroup Hellyeah. On the
cover of the sampler for their self-
titled album, the group's name is
spelled out in big, bold capital let-
ters (said letters are on fire). On
its MySpace, puns abound, from
the obvious "Hell Week is Here"
to legitimate self-proclamations of
"Hot Shit." I don't know who these
guys are, but they seem larger than
life, and I dig that kind of mentality
in a metal supergroup. The pyro-
technical infatuation is sort of cool,
too.
Musically, Hellyeah is revolu-
tionary mix between traditional
metal and Southern country. How-
ever, on the sampler, there are only
three songs, and they don't provide
enough of the raucous, face-melting
guitarworkthatthe group will soon
be known for. Sure, their sound is
derivative of almost every other
metal band, but if it ain't broke,
don't fix it!
Granted,Ihaven'tproperlyheard
the full album, but with song names
like "Alcohaulin' Ass" and "Alco-
haulin' Ass (Acoustic Version)," I
predict nothing less than metal's
own Sgt. Pepper's. Except that Mas-
ter ofPuppets already accomplished
that. Well, whatever.
Some will argue that we
should've saved our first five-star
review of 2007 for a highly antici-
pated album like the upcoming
Radiohead, or maybe Detox (if it
ever sees the light of day). I dis-
agree - the Hellyeah sampler is a
testament to Hellyeah's technical
skill and badass vision. These guys
are redefining rock'n'roll with an
energy and recklessness that truly
befits their dynamic name.
At a timewhen metal has become
arguably the most moribund genre
of music, maybe the best compli-
ment I can pay these guys is that
their sampler kinda makes me want
to wear a prefaded trucker hat and
blast their music out of a big fucking
pick-up, honking the horn inces-
santly and yelling out in defiance of
nothing, "Rock on! Hell yeah!"
But seriously, this band sucks.
It's not just their name. They really
suck.
BRIAN CHEN
By DAVID MEKELBURG
DailyArts Writer
If you're driving around by your-
self listening to a comedy album - a
strange act in itself - and it makes
you laugh out loud despite a self-
conscious urge to keep a straight
face, then you're probably listening
to Monty Python.
Reissues of the British com-
edy troupe's Contractual Obliga-
tion Album, Matching Tie and
Handkerchief and The Album of the
Soundtrack of the Trailer of the Film
of Monty Python and the Holy Grail
are reminders that important com-
edy albums don't come around any-
more. Everyone remembers the dry,
quotable humor found in the Monty
Python films like "Holy Grail," but
these albums are the true height and
essence of their comedy.
Sure, there are tons of skits where
a man walks into a shop asking for
something the shop doesn't sell
- a classic Python situation - and
those are hilarious. But it's the cut-
ting, socially conscious humor that
makes their work, tackling hard-
hitting issues like race, religion, the
threat of nuclear war and Finland.
While picking a best album of the
three would be silly, Contractual
Obligation certainly provides the
harshest (and funniest) criticism of
1980s society.
"I Like Chinese," on Contractual
Obligation, is an ode to Chinese peo-
ple, who Python apparently see as a
soothing alternative to the brutish
rest ofthe world.Ever politically cor-
rect, Python's Eric Idle sings, "I like
Chinese / They only come up to your
knees / Yet they're always friendly,
and they're ready to please."
If reinforcing stereotypes or
being blatantly racist toward the
Chinese isn't enough controversy,
there's always "Never Be Rude to an
Arab" on the same album. Instead
of singling out a group (as the title
would suggest), it asks listener to
refrain from being rude to an entire
list of groups like the Irish, Jews and
blacks. Of course, the track follows
up this kind suggestion with a nega-
tive stereotype that exemplifies said
rudeness.
With Broadway
conquered, Python
returns to CDs.
These tracks are certainly some
of the most provocative and out-
landish, but without the subtlety
that defines most of their w ork, they
would mean little. It's easy to be
shocking, but what Python does is
much more difficult: They toy with
your expectations.
The Holy Grail album leads the
listener to believe he is about to hear
a soundtrack comprised of songs
from the film. And, the album does
contain songs and clips straight
from the motion picture. But it's
also much more. On perhaps the
funniest track (excluding scenes
from the film), "Logician," a man
speaking with a vaguely German
accent claims to be a logician. He
proceeds to explain in lofty fashion
why the previous clip on the album,
the scene where the townspeople
prove a woman is a witch by com-
paring her weight to that of a duck,
is scientificallyinaccurate.
The logician then descends into
a tirade about how his wife doesn't
understand logic and how she's
screwing the milk man. Somehow,
this rant turns into the logician
explaining how he ended up having
sex with his wife on the floor of his
home.
And that's the beauty of Monty
Python. Every line is another
180-degree turn from where you
expected to go. On Matching Tie
and Handkerchief, the paradoxical
flow takes the form of a lecture on
medieval agrarian tendencies set to
heavy metal. On Contractual Obliga-
tion, it's a bishop doing a beer com-
mercial set to heavy synthesizers
(three contradictory items!).
The new editions bring the skits
and songs a new clarity. The mix-
ing on the albums is perfect. You
can hear the mumbling asides in the
sketches without making the more
epic numbers seem any quieter.
The albums also contain bonus
interviews and promotional mate-
rial from when the albums were
released. At first, you could easily
confuse these interviews with dry
skits on the album. It's refreshing
to hear that members of the Monty
Python crew are actually like that.
They banter as if they're in costume
and in your backseat.
I
I
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Why television loves an asshole.
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