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April 17, 2007 - Image 4

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The Michigan Daily, 2007-04-17

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4 - Tuesday, April 17, 2007

O NN N

4

The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com

74c fiiigan 4at4Il
Edited and managed by students at
the University of Michigan since 1890.
413 E. Huron St.
Ann Arbor, MI 48104
tothedaily@umich.edu
KARL STAMPFL IMRAN SYED JEFFREY BLOOMER
EDITOR IN CHIEF EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR MANAGING EDITOR
Unsigned editorials reflect the official position of the Daily's editorial board. All other signed articles
and illustrations representsolelythe views of their authors.
Calm down, it's all in good fun
B ack when J. Edgar Hoover, that infallible defender of our
constitutional rights, was playing dictator and spying on
Americans as head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation,
the Daily's editorial page handed out the Edgar Awards annually
to individuals and institutions best embodying his many admi-
rable characteristics. of necessity, we revived the tradition in

There was blood everywhere ... I was one of
only four that made it out of that classroom."
- Virginia Tech University freshman Erin Sheehan describing the scene in her German class, where 20
students were killed or injured yesterday morning, as reported at CNN.com.
MAake the most o this time

4

recent years.
Over the past four years, the antics of the
Bush Administration have tempted us to
rename the awards. Why not call them the
Bushies, the Cheneys, the Johnny Ashcroft-
ies or perhaps the "global warming is a
mythies"? This year they almost became the
Albertos, but who are we to judge when his-
tory will do so much more justice?
And so we present the fourth annual
Edgar Awards:
" The Keith Richards Edgar for so
thoughtfully honoring the past goes to the
University Board of Regents for approv-
ingthe addition ofluxury boxes to Michigan
Stadium. If completed as proposed, the lux-
ury boxes would be higher than Keith, and
that can't be good for anyone.
* The Mark Foley Edgar for improper
use of adolescents goes to BAMN. Although
the intention was honorable, bringing high
school kids to the Diag to cause chaos and
confusion is best left to the professionals in
yellow windbreakers: campus tour leaders.
* The "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"
Edgar for botched PR stunt goes to the
Young Americans for Freedom for Catch
an Illegal Immigrant Day. The event may
have been xenophobic, but at least it didn't
nearly shut down an entire city - just the
Diag.
" The Anna Nicole Smith Edgar for too
much publicity for all the wrong reasons
goes to Ryan Fantuzzi. The always outspo-
ken campus conservative has yet to lose the
clothing, but we call dibs on those pictures.
" The Mike Nifong Edgar for rush to
judgmentgoes to LSA junior JustinZatkoff,
recently named chair of the Michigan Fed-
eration of College Republicans. Nifong is the
prosecutor who falsely hounded the Duke
Lacrosse team; Zatkoff claimed to have been
beaten up by "liberal thugs" who turned out
to be his drunken friends. Moral: Falsifying
information may get you the attention you
crave, but often it just makes you the prick
who gets beat up by his own friends.
* The West Bank/Gaza Checkpoint
Edgar for inconvenienceintravelgoes to the
construction project between the Uni-
versity Museum of Art and Angell Hall.
Getting to the Diag shouldn't be harder than
getting through it.
* The "I Know What You Did Last
Summer" Edgar goes to Facebook.com.
As an added bonus, the student network-
ing site also picks up the Edgars for "I know
what you're doing now," "I know what event
you're 'maybe attending' next week" and
"most likelyto delude students into thinking
clicking a mouse can bring social change."
* "The Godfather: Part III" Edgar
for the sequel not living up to the original
goes to the new Students for a Demo-
cratic Society. We know it's only been a
few months, but not even one riot or violent
splinter group? The original SDS founders
would be ashamed. At least it doesn't feature
any incestuous cousin-loving. That's just
creepy.
* The Chicago Cubs Wait Until Next
JOE LUCAS

Year Edgar goes to Michigan football.
And if not next year, then the year after
that, or the year after that. You're not really
in trouble until you go 99 years without a
championship.
" The Jason Z. Pesick/Donn M. Fre-
sard Edgar for pretentious use of an initial
goes to University Vice President for Stu-
dent Affairs E. Royster Harper. Hillary
Swank's got nothing on Eunice; this makes
four Edgars in a row for her.
* The Ralph Nader Edgar for hope-
less idealism goes to LSA senior and former
Socialist Party candidate for state repre-
sentative Matt Erard. You go for it all, you
come up empty and you like it. This is the
life of third-party candidates.
* The frat house masturbator Edgar
for having no grasp on reality goes to a 2006
Republican candidate for University Regent,
Susan Brown. The scariest part is that her
money almostbought her the
election.
" The You Are
Not Smarter Than A
Fifth Grader Edgar " '-
goes to Rep. Mike
Pence (R-Ind.) for }
fondly comparing a
marketplace in Bagh-
dad favorably with
his local market at
home. That must
be one bad hood out
there in Columbus, Ind.
. The Artist Former-
ly Known As PrinceĀ°
Edgar goes to the Mich- -~ R
igan Action Party. The
Artist is once again known
as Prince, and MAP is once
again a dominant party
of no ideology, little
action and gigantic
electoral victories.
* The Rosie O'Donnell/Donald Trump
Edgar for obnoxious mudslinging goes to
student activists on either side of the
Israel/Palestine debate. Never have facts
bent so far both ways, snapped and been
taped back together so cleanly to spell "we
just want dialogue."
* The Sheriff Bull Connor/Kent State
University Edgar for the mishandling of a
protest goes to University President Mary
Sue Coleman. No one on SOLE got hosed,
but the incident did inspire lots of "Ask Me
Why IWas Arrested" sandwich boards. You
just can't buy that kind of publicity.
* The Iraqi Baath Party Lack of Com-
petitive Elections Edgar goes to the
Michigan Student Assembly. We do have
to admit that it got interesting for a minute
there when Defend Affirmative Action Party
cracked double digits.
* The FEMA "Heckuva Job, Brownie"
Edgar goes to the University administra-
tion for their response to Proposal 2. Clear-
ly, they were prepared, took the necessary
steps, and the results speak for themselves.

ver the weekend, I did my
best to sell my friend's little
sister on the joys of becom-
ing a Michigan Wolverine. After two
visits, she decided to come to campus
one more time for less than 24 hours,
as if wandering the Diag one last time
would clarify the
agonizing decision.
She asked all the
typical freshman-
to-be questions:
"How hard are your
classes?" "How
many activities are
people involved-
in?" and, of course, WHITNEY
"How easy is it to DIBO
make friends?" I
did my best to answer, coloring each
response a bright shade of maize and
blue.
After she left, my nostalgia kicked
in full-force. It seemed like just yes-
terday that I came to campus a wide-
eyed freshman-to-be, thinking life
was over just because high school
was. Now with graduation looming
two weeks away, the same foreboding
sense of the unknown is starting to
sink in. I began to feel like I'd done my
friend's little sister a disservice. What
good did it do her to visit the basement
of the Union, as if seeing Magic Wok
and Wendy's would somehow illumi-
nate her life plan?
I should have told her about aspects
of college life that really matter, like
Stockwell having the best food on the
Hill, Espresso Royale selling $2 lattes
every Wednesday and Stats 350 knock-
ing out your entire quantative reason-
ing requirement and giving you four
natural science credits. But aside from
the little tidbits I've discovered over
the years, I've also picked up some
modest insights on college life. Pass-

ing along these little pieces of wisdom
would probably have been more valu-
able touring Angell Hall.
So, forthis my lastcolumn, I've com-
plied a brief list of things I wish I knew
before I came to the University. It is a
college tour of sorts, only without the
smiling, back-peddlingtour guide:
* Don't try to do everything. Even
as a person who thrives on being busy,
I was at my happiest when I had one
extracurricular to focus on. Instead of
being a worker-bee in10 organizations,
be the president of one. Of course, take
freshman year to survey your options
(I think I'm still on the ski team mail-
ing list from Festifall), and after some-
thing strikes a chord with you, make a
choice and shed the excess.
* Take great classes. This might
seem obvious (particularly to those of
us who are paying out-of-state tuition),
but signing up for blow-off classes at
the University is just a waste. Registra-
tion is annoyingly stressful and often
it's easy to just sign up for a random
class because it fits into that Tuesday/
Thursday 1-2:30 p.m. slot you've been
trying to fill. It's not worth it. There
is nothing worse than being stuck in a
class you hate for-15 weeks.
* Go abroad. As I embark on the
real world without a dependable
bank account or health insurance,
I am eternally grateful I traveled
when I had the chance. Signing up for
an abroad program is another pro-
cess that takes effort, but seeing the
Eiffel Tower or hiking Machu Picchu
doesn't disappoint.
* Push yourself to hang out with
different types of people. The Uni-
versity might have a "blueprint for
diversity," but until we actually reach
outside our comfort zones, diversity
will remain strictly academic. While it
might be easy to travel en mass to the

same bar every Friday night because
that's where your group goes, nobody
ever grew as a person by flocking with
birds of the same feather.
* Get close to your professors. If
you find professors you really click
with, stick with them. Take more
classes with them or go to their office
and just talk about life. College is all
about gaining insight, and professors
are a great place to start.
" If you don't like your situation,
change it. So many times I've heard
friends say "If I could do it again, I
would have been a ___ major.".It's
never too late to change your mind,
although administrative red tape can
If only the
real world had
a tour.
make it seem that way. For example,
I spent two years in the University's
acting program before switching to
LSA. Those Theatre and Drama cred-
its are only ink on my transcript now,
but its better to change your mind
rather than stay in aplace that doesn't
quite fit.
I don't know if this advice would
have quelled the fears of my friend's
little sister, but it's definitely more
valuable than touring an academic
building. After four years, the only
real truth I can come up with is that
college is what you make of it. I hear
the same is true for the real world. I
just wish there was a tour.
Whitney Dibo is an associate
editorial page editor. She can be
reached at wdibo@umich.edu.
media
a debate sponsored by the Congres-
sional Black Caucus and the Fox
News Channel. Even though the
three have been on Fox News before,
apparently they just recently discov-
ered that their party's base does not
like the channel
If politicians continue to dodge
outlets they don't agree with, the
country will see the return of openly
partisan media institutions like we
had about 200 years ago. If presiden-
tial candidates are not willing to par-
ticipate in these sorts of discussions,
does that mean they will only be
president for the people who watch
their preferred cable news network?
Another reason the trend is upset-
ting is that, as a conservative at a
liberal newspaper, I know there is
a better, more productive way to
disagree. Despite arguing with my
colleagues about so much, my dis-
cussions with them have always
been challenging and worthwhile as
we test our convictions against real
opposition. This is in large part what
has made my time at the Daily so
memorable. I've been able to question
University officials and candidates
for federal, state and local offices on
real issues and get real answers. I've
made some good friends and memo-
ries and learned valuable lessons that
are not found in the classroom.
It's a shame such lessons are rare
in the mainstream media today.
David Russell is an LSA senior and a
member of the Daily's editorial board.

DAVID RUSSEL LV
The public and the

I did not need to work at the Daily
for the past three years to know that
the relationship between the public
and the press is becoming increas-
ingly hostile. However, working here
gave me a better understanding of
the problems that are complicating
that relationship.
The biggest problem is that media
institutions are not open enough
about their inner-workings. In a
profession that is always demanding
openness from everyone, journalism
is not living up to what it demands
from others.
For example, the Daily didn't tell
you that we elected our new edi-
tor in chief last fall. Instead, it was
reported that we simply "named"
one. Any one of the 300 people at the
12-hour election can tell you that is
not exactly true. The real workings
of this important process were not
made known to readers.
My home, the editorial page, has
always been the center of controver-
sy. Much of the misunderstanding
comes from the variety of pieces that
appear on the page. It would be quite
a task to count all the people who do
not know the separate purpose of
staff editorials, columns and view-
points. It is often assumed that all of
these are opinions of the Daily, when
in fact, they are not. While editori-
als represent the views of the Daily's
editorial board, columns and view-
points simply represent the views of
individuals or student groups.
Then there are the cartoons. A

cartoon about affirmative action
from December 2005 sparked the
most controversy during my time
here. There were many letter writers
who were appalled that such a car-
toon ran. While most of the letters
made baseless allegations, it is the
Daily's leadership's fault that readers
didn't know more about its policies
and guidelines at the time. This lack
of information stymies the develop-
ment of a good relationship between
the people and the press.
New media technology is changing
some of this by allowing the media
and the public to interact more often
and with greater openness.
It has also caused problems that
were never before possible. In the
comments section of one post on
the Daily's opinion blog, an outside
commentator assumed that the post
spoke for the view of the entire staff
and proceeded to call us all "pathetic
boobs." The writer did not under-
stand that the blog is a place for Daily
Opinion writers to express their indi-
vidual views.
Another issue has been allowing
people to comment on stories on the
Internet. Comment sections are often
filled with hate and libel, and moder-
ators are forced to decide whether to
let the conversation flow freely or to
step in and stop trolls from creating
a firestorm.
The media is also becoming more
politicized and fragmented. Most
recently, the three major Democratic
presidential candidates pulled out of

I

4

4

KEN BAKER V WP NT
What if it happened here.?

4

TtrOO&IHT we WC i! Ti~o6.air 5v'e1 XTTlicv&'H-T'\4 p
TN TH" dijeletl 13,x' reA reP A$ t5 OWL. X ,As
v Sr! t, 1,THN

As the news of the shootings at
Virginia Tech settled into my mind,
all I could think about was what if it
happened here? As the information
continued to flow in throughout the
day, that chilling thought affected
me most: a massacre on this campus.
What if it was University President
Mary Sue Coleman who had to issue
one of those traditional but terse
"we mourn for the victims and their
families" statements? What if the
person killed was the kid who serves
you breakfast or the kid you silently
curse at in lecture for asking dumb
questions who was killed?
The Virginia Tech administration
has called for a convocation at the
campus to deal with this tragedy. But
why do 30 people have to die for a

university to come together?
As I think about my own life as a
Wolverine, I wonder if Wolverines
must die for us to come together.
Our community is rank with division
and, worse, apathy. Be it affirmative
action, gay marriage,black fratversus
white, North Campus versus Central,
or any of the other things that split
one group from another, one thing
remains clear: We are divided.
As a politically active member of
this University, I have been the worst
type of offender, because I often let
political disagreements get in the
way of what really matters: the fact
that we are all Wolverines. When
that executioner lined up those kids
in Virginia to shoot them, I imagine
not much else bound them together

except that they went to the same
school. And there may not be much
more that binds you with the kids
you'll sit next to during your final
exams in the coming weeks.
We have to do a better job of com-
ing together. Do 30 Wolverines need
to die for that to happen? I sincerely
hope not. But in the deaths of our
friends in Virginia, I hope at least we
take home the lesson that our time on
this Earth with each other is limited,
and every day is a gift.
our challenge will be to decide if
we will spend that time looking at
each other from behind fences or if
we will tear down those fences and
go forward together.
Ken Baker is an RC junior.

4

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Editorial Board Members: Emily Beam, Kevin Bunkley, Amanda Burns, Sam Butler, Ben Caleca, Mike
Eber, Brian Flaherty, Mara Gay, Jared Goldberg, Emmarie Huetteman, Toby Mitchell, David Russell, John
Stiglich, Jennifer Sussex, Neil Tambe, Radhika Upadhyaya, Rachel Wagner, Christopher Zbrozek

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