4 - Tuesday, April 17, 2007 O NN N 4 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com 74c fiiigan 4at4Il Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890. 413 E. Huron St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104 tothedaily@umich.edu KARL STAMPFL IMRAN SYED JEFFREY BLOOMER EDITOR IN CHIEF EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR MANAGING EDITOR Unsigned editorials reflect the official position of the Daily's editorial board. All other signed articles and illustrations representsolelythe views of their authors. Calm down, it's all in good fun B ack when J. Edgar Hoover, that infallible defender of our constitutional rights, was playing dictator and spying on Americans as head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Daily's editorial page handed out the Edgar Awards annually to individuals and institutions best embodying his many admi- rable characteristics. of necessity, we revived the tradition in There was blood everywhere ... I was one of only four that made it out of that classroom." - Virginia Tech University freshman Erin Sheehan describing the scene in her German class, where 20 students were killed or injured yesterday morning, as reported at CNN.com. MAake the most o this time 4 recent years. Over the past four years, the antics of the Bush Administration have tempted us to rename the awards. Why not call them the Bushies, the Cheneys, the Johnny Ashcroft- ies or perhaps the "global warming is a mythies"? This year they almost became the Albertos, but who are we to judge when his- tory will do so much more justice? And so we present the fourth annual Edgar Awards: " The Keith Richards Edgar for so thoughtfully honoring the past goes to the University Board of Regents for approv- ingthe addition ofluxury boxes to Michigan Stadium. If completed as proposed, the lux- ury boxes would be higher than Keith, and that can't be good for anyone. * The Mark Foley Edgar for improper use of adolescents goes to BAMN. Although the intention was honorable, bringing high school kids to the Diag to cause chaos and confusion is best left to the professionals in yellow windbreakers: campus tour leaders. * The "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" Edgar for botched PR stunt goes to the Young Americans for Freedom for Catch an Illegal Immigrant Day. The event may have been xenophobic, but at least it didn't nearly shut down an entire city - just the Diag. " The Anna Nicole Smith Edgar for too much publicity for all the wrong reasons goes to Ryan Fantuzzi. The always outspo- ken campus conservative has yet to lose the clothing, but we call dibs on those pictures. " The Mike Nifong Edgar for rush to judgmentgoes to LSA junior JustinZatkoff, recently named chair of the Michigan Fed- eration of College Republicans. Nifong is the prosecutor who falsely hounded the Duke Lacrosse team; Zatkoff claimed to have been beaten up by "liberal thugs" who turned out to be his drunken friends. Moral: Falsifying information may get you the attention you crave, but often it just makes you the prick who gets beat up by his own friends. * The West Bank/Gaza Checkpoint Edgar for inconvenienceintravelgoes to the construction project between the Uni- versity Museum of Art and Angell Hall. Getting to the Diag shouldn't be harder than getting through it. * The "I Know What You Did Last Summer" Edgar goes to Facebook.com. As an added bonus, the student network- ing site also picks up the Edgars for "I know what you're doing now," "I know what event you're 'maybe attending' next week" and "most likelyto delude students into thinking clicking a mouse can bring social change." * "The Godfather: Part III" Edgar for the sequel not living up to the original goes to the new Students for a Demo- cratic Society. We know it's only been a few months, but not even one riot or violent splinter group? The original SDS founders would be ashamed. At least it doesn't feature any incestuous cousin-loving. That's just creepy. * The Chicago Cubs Wait Until Next JOE LUCAS Year Edgar goes to Michigan football. And if not next year, then the year after that, or the year after that. You're not really in trouble until you go 99 years without a championship. " The Jason Z. Pesick/Donn M. Fre- sard Edgar for pretentious use of an initial goes to University Vice President for Stu- dent Affairs E. Royster Harper. Hillary Swank's got nothing on Eunice; this makes four Edgars in a row for her. * The Ralph Nader Edgar for hope- less idealism goes to LSA senior and former Socialist Party candidate for state repre- sentative Matt Erard. You go for it all, you come up empty and you like it. This is the life of third-party candidates. * The frat house masturbator Edgar for having no grasp on reality goes to a 2006 Republican candidate for University Regent, Susan Brown. The scariest part is that her money almostbought her the election. " The You Are Not Smarter Than A Fifth Grader Edgar " '- goes to Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) for } fondly comparing a marketplace in Bagh- dad favorably with his local market at home. That must be one bad hood out there in Columbus, Ind. . The Artist Former- ly Known As Prince° Edgar goes to the Mich- -~ R igan Action Party. The Artist is once again known as Prince, and MAP is once again a dominant party of no ideology, little action and gigantic electoral victories. * The Rosie O'Donnell/Donald Trump Edgar for obnoxious mudslinging goes to student activists on either side of the Israel/Palestine debate. Never have facts bent so far both ways, snapped and been taped back together so cleanly to spell "we just want dialogue." * The Sheriff Bull Connor/Kent State University Edgar for the mishandling of a protest goes to University President Mary Sue Coleman. No one on SOLE got hosed, but the incident did inspire lots of "Ask Me Why IWas Arrested" sandwich boards. You just can't buy that kind of publicity. * The Iraqi Baath Party Lack of Com- petitive Elections Edgar goes to the Michigan Student Assembly. We do have to admit that it got interesting for a minute there when Defend Affirmative Action Party cracked double digits. * The FEMA "Heckuva Job, Brownie" Edgar goes to the University administra- tion for their response to Proposal 2. Clear- ly, they were prepared, took the necessary steps, and the results speak for themselves. ver the weekend, I did my best to sell my friend's little sister on the joys of becom- ing a Michigan Wolverine. After two visits, she decided to come to campus one more time for less than 24 hours, as if wandering the Diag one last time would clarify the agonizing decision. She asked all the typical freshman- to-be questions: "How hard are your classes?" "How many activities are people involved- in?" and, of course, WHITNEY "How easy is it to DIBO make friends?" I did my best to answer, coloring each response a bright shade of maize and blue. After she left, my nostalgia kicked in full-force. It seemed like just yes- terday that I came to campus a wide- eyed freshman-to-be, thinking life was over just because high school was. Now with graduation looming two weeks away, the same foreboding sense of the unknown is starting to sink in. I began to feel like I'd done my friend's little sister a disservice. What good did it do her to visit the basement of the Union, as if seeing Magic Wok and Wendy's would somehow illumi- nate her life plan? I should have told her about aspects of college life that really matter, like Stockwell having the best food on the Hill, Espresso Royale selling $2 lattes every Wednesday and Stats 350 knock- ing out your entire quantative reason- ing requirement and giving you four natural science credits. But aside from the little tidbits I've discovered over the years, I've also picked up some modest insights on college life. Pass- ing along these little pieces of wisdom would probably have been more valu- able touring Angell Hall. So, forthis my lastcolumn, I've com- plied a brief list of things I wish I knew before I came to the University. It is a college tour of sorts, only without the smiling, back-peddlingtour guide: * Don't try to do everything. Even as a person who thrives on being busy, I was at my happiest when I had one extracurricular to focus on. Instead of being a worker-bee in10 organizations, be the president of one. Of course, take freshman year to survey your options (I think I'm still on the ski team mail- ing list from Festifall), and after some- thing strikes a chord with you, make a choice and shed the excess. * Take great classes. This might seem obvious (particularly to those of us who are paying out-of-state tuition), but signing up for blow-off classes at the University is just a waste. Registra- tion is annoyingly stressful and often it's easy to just sign up for a random class because it fits into that Tuesday/ Thursday 1-2:30 p.m. slot you've been trying to fill. It's not worth it. There is nothing worse than being stuck in a class you hate for-15 weeks. * Go abroad. As I embark on the real world without a dependable bank account or health insurance, I am eternally grateful I traveled when I had the chance. Signing up for an abroad program is another pro- cess that takes effort, but seeing the Eiffel Tower or hiking Machu Picchu doesn't disappoint. * Push yourself to hang out with different types of people. The Uni- versity might have a "blueprint for diversity," but until we actually reach outside our comfort zones, diversity will remain strictly academic. While it might be easy to travel en mass to the same bar every Friday night because that's where your group goes, nobody ever grew as a person by flocking with birds of the same feather. * Get close to your professors. If you find professors you really click with, stick with them. Take more classes with them or go to their office and just talk about life. College is all about gaining insight, and professors are a great place to start. " If you don't like your situation, change it. So many times I've heard friends say "If I could do it again, I would have been a ___ major.".It's never too late to change your mind, although administrative red tape can If only the real world had a tour. make it seem that way. For example, I spent two years in the University's acting program before switching to LSA. Those Theatre and Drama cred- its are only ink on my transcript now, but its better to change your mind rather than stay in aplace that doesn't quite fit. I don't know if this advice would have quelled the fears of my friend's little sister, but it's definitely more valuable than touring an academic building. After four years, the only real truth I can come up with is that college is what you make of it. I hear the same is true for the real world. I just wish there was a tour. Whitney Dibo is an associate editorial page editor. She can be reached at wdibo@umich.edu. media a debate sponsored by the Congres- sional Black Caucus and the Fox News Channel. Even though the three have been on Fox News before, apparently they just recently discov- ered that their party's base does not like the channel If politicians continue to dodge outlets they don't agree with, the country will see the return of openly partisan media institutions like we had about 200 years ago. If presiden- tial candidates are not willing to par- ticipate in these sorts of discussions, does that mean they will only be president for the people who watch their preferred cable news network? Another reason the trend is upset- ting is that, as a conservative at a liberal newspaper, I know there is a better, more productive way to disagree. Despite arguing with my colleagues about so much, my dis- cussions with them have always been challenging and worthwhile as we test our convictions against real opposition. This is in large part what has made my time at the Daily so memorable. I've been able to question University officials and candidates for federal, state and local offices on real issues and get real answers. I've made some good friends and memo- ries and learned valuable lessons that are not found in the classroom. It's a shame such lessons are rare in the mainstream media today. David Russell is an LSA senior and a member of the Daily's editorial board. DAVID RUSSEL LV The public and the I did not need to work at the Daily for the past three years to know that the relationship between the public and the press is becoming increas- ingly hostile. However, working here gave me a better understanding of the problems that are complicating that relationship. The biggest problem is that media institutions are not open enough about their inner-workings. In a profession that is always demanding openness from everyone, journalism is not living up to what it demands from others. For example, the Daily didn't tell you that we elected our new edi- tor in chief last fall. Instead, it was reported that we simply "named" one. Any one of the 300 people at the 12-hour election can tell you that is not exactly true. The real workings of this important process were not made known to readers. My home, the editorial page, has always been the center of controver- sy. Much of the misunderstanding comes from the variety of pieces that appear on the page. It would be quite a task to count all the people who do not know the separate purpose of staff editorials, columns and view- points. It is often assumed that all of these are opinions of the Daily, when in fact, they are not. While editori- als represent the views of the Daily's editorial board, columns and view- points simply represent the views of individuals or student groups. Then there are the cartoons. A cartoon about affirmative action from December 2005 sparked the most controversy during my time here. There were many letter writers who were appalled that such a car- toon ran. While most of the letters made baseless allegations, it is the Daily's leadership's fault that readers didn't know more about its policies and guidelines at the time. This lack of information stymies the develop- ment of a good relationship between the people and the press. New media technology is changing some of this by allowing the media and the public to interact more often and with greater openness. It has also caused problems that were never before possible. In the comments section of one post on the Daily's opinion blog, an outside commentator assumed that the post spoke for the view of the entire staff and proceeded to call us all "pathetic boobs." The writer did not under- stand that the blog is a place for Daily Opinion writers to express their indi- vidual views. Another issue has been allowing people to comment on stories on the Internet. Comment sections are often filled with hate and libel, and moder- ators are forced to decide whether to let the conversation flow freely or to step in and stop trolls from creating a firestorm. The media is also becoming more politicized and fragmented. Most recently, the three major Democratic presidential candidates pulled out of I 4 4 KEN BAKER V WP NT What if it happened here.? 4 TtrOO&IHT we WC i! Ti~o6.air 5v'e1 XTTlicv&'H-T'\4 p TN TH" dijeletl 13,x' reA reP A$ t5 OWL. X ,As v Sr! t, 1,THN As the news of the shootings at Virginia Tech settled into my mind, all I could think about was what if it happened here? As the information continued to flow in throughout the day, that chilling thought affected me most: a massacre on this campus. What if it was University President Mary Sue Coleman who had to issue one of those traditional but terse "we mourn for the victims and their families" statements? What if the person killed was the kid who serves you breakfast or the kid you silently curse at in lecture for asking dumb questions who was killed? The Virginia Tech administration has called for a convocation at the campus to deal with this tragedy. But why do 30 people have to die for a university to come together? As I think about my own life as a Wolverine, I wonder if Wolverines must die for us to come together. Our community is rank with division and, worse, apathy. Be it affirmative action, gay marriage,black fratversus white, North Campus versus Central, or any of the other things that split one group from another, one thing remains clear: We are divided. As a politically active member of this University, I have been the worst type of offender, because I often let political disagreements get in the way of what really matters: the fact that we are all Wolverines. When that executioner lined up those kids in Virginia to shoot them, I imagine not much else bound them together except that they went to the same school. And there may not be much more that binds you with the kids you'll sit next to during your final exams in the coming weeks. We have to do a better job of com- ing together. Do 30 Wolverines need to die for that to happen? I sincerely hope not. But in the deaths of our friends in Virginia, I hope at least we take home the lesson that our time on this Earth with each other is limited, and every day is a gift. our challenge will be to decide if we will spend that time looking at each other from behind fences or if we will tear down those fences and go forward together. Ken Baker is an RC junior. 4 4 Editorial Board Members: Emily Beam, Kevin Bunkley, Amanda Burns, Sam Butler, Ben Caleca, Mike Eber, Brian Flaherty, Mara Gay, Jared Goldberg, Emmarie Huetteman, Toby Mitchell, David Russell, John Stiglich, Jennifer Sussex, Neil Tambe, Radhika Upadhyaya, Rachel Wagner, Christopher Zbrozek