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April 03, 2007 - Image 2

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Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 2007-04-03

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2 - Tuesday, April 3, 2007

The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com

MUSTACHE LAUGHS

Be very, very quiet - I'm hunting squirrel

You know it's spring in Ann Arbor.
when the sun comes out and the snow
melts away. You watch as April show-
ers bring May flowers.
And sometimes, something really
odd happens that makes the entire
depressing winter worthwhile.
I was walking on the Diag last
spring, enjoying the breeze and the
bird song when out of the corner of
my eye I noticed a strange move-
ment.
I glanced over and saw a scruffy
man bending down, offering what
appeared to be pieces of bread to an
assembly of squirrels.
"All right," I thought, "there's an
image of pure generosity. Once done
with his hard-won food, he's good
enough to offer scrumptious charity
to the ubiquitous squirrels."
But then I saw what he had in his
other hand. I rubbed my eyes, sure
that I was mistaken.
He held a stick a yard long,
wrapped in duct tape with a large
rock affixed to the top - a home-

See something
ies the Ann Arbor
of Michigan exper
submissions to gre
igandaily.com.
made hammer. He
poised over the dis
and licked his lips.
I couldn'tbelieve
ing for akill.
Of course, I w
- but I was alread
so I booked it into
thought about theI
rest of class.
All I can say is
dude.
A life wit
cream is r
worth livin
There are sever

that embod- without which most girls cannot sur-
or University vive. One is chocolate. Another is ice
rience?. E-mail cream.
)ssman@mich- Last week, I went to Za's with
three of my female roommates. As
we were enjoying our Caesar salads
e brandished it, and vanilla latte smoothies, a group
stracted animals of guys walked past. We caught part
of their conversation.
it - he was prim- "Yeah, I haven't had ice cream
since '96," one said.
anted to watch The conversation at our table halt-
dy late for class, ed.After some quickcalculations, we
Angell Hall and realized that that's 11 years.
guy through the We stared at each other, all think-
ing the same thing.
happy hunting, We sat in awe until one of my
roommates broke the long, painful
PAUL BLUMER silence.
"That man has a sad, sad life," she
thout ice said.
So Mr. Has-Lived-Without-Ice-
iot a life Cream-Since-'96: e-mail me, and I'll
buy you some. Even if you're lactose
intolerant, living without ice cream
is just not right.
al things in life CHRISTINA HILDRETH

SHAY SPANIOLA/Daily
Josh Fischel, Public Policy graduate student, in
an outfit for the comedy night for Mustache-a-
thon, a fundraiser for 826michigan, which tutors
young students in writing. The group meets every
Monday at 8:26 p.m. to show off the progress of
their new facial hair.

C 4c Wchigan Dailj
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The Michigan Dailyt SSN 0745-967) is published Monday through Friday during the
fall and winter terms by students at the University of Michigan. One copy is available
free of chargeto all readers. Additional copies may be picked up at the Daily's officefor
$2.Subscriptionsforfallterm,startinginSeptember,viaU.S.mailare$110.Winterterm
(January through April) is $115,yearlong (September through April is $195.University
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Associated Press and The Associated Collegiate Press.

4

CRIME NOTES
'U' president's
window
shattered
WHERE: 815 S. University
Ave.
WHEN: Saturday between 10
and 10:30 p.m.
WHAT: An unknown flying
object broke a window pane
in the door of University Pres-
ident Mary Sue Coleman's
residence, the Department of
Public Safety reported. UPS
said it seemed to be acciden-
tal.

CAMPUS EVENTS & NOTES

couldn't locate the man.
Wheelchair
wheeled away
WHERE: University Hospital
WHEN: Sunday at about 8:30
p.m.
WHAT: While driving in
the parking lot, an employee
of the University Hospi-
tal observed a wheelchair
being taken in the trunk of a
vehicle, DPS reported. The
Medline wheelchair is val-
ued at $500. There are no
suspects.

Music at
midday
WHAT: An informal piano
concert by Engineering stu-
dent Franklin Jen
WHO: The Paul and Ruth
McCracken Distinguished
University Professorship of
Corporate Strategy
WHEN: Today at 11:30 a.m.
WHERE: Basement of the-
Michigan Union
Opera scenes
based on Miller
play
WHAT: Select scenes from
"A View From A Bridge," an
opera by William Bolcom.
The opera is based on Arthur
Miller's play of the same
name.
WHO: Opera Workshop
WHEN: Today at 7 p.m.
WHERE: Studio One, Wal-
green Drama Center

Lecture on
globalization
WHAT: Ross School of Busi-
ness Prof. C.E. Prahalad will
deliver the Distinguished Uni-
versity Professorship lecture
on improving access for all to
the benefits of globalization.
WHO: The Paul and Ruth
McCracken Distinguished
University Professorship of
Corporate Strategy
WHEN: Today at 5:30 p.m.
WHERE: Amphitheater, 4th
Ploor, Eackham Graduate
School

In order to simulate condi-
tions of a flight to Mars, the
European Space Agency
plans to isolate a crew of six
people for a period of 500 days,
Science Daily reported. The
crew will be forced to deal with
simulated emergencies, pos-
sible illnesses, a limited food
supply and a 40-minute com-
munication delay.
The United Kingdom
opened its first "24" style
Counter Terrorist Unit
yesterday, The (London) Sun
reported. The unit, located in

Falling vase
Man passed out strikes student
in Union on knee

WHERE: Michigan Union
WHEN: Sunday at about
12:45 p.m.
WHAT: A caller reported
that a man was passed out on
a sofa in front of Amer's in the
Union, DPS reported. Police

WHERE: East Quad Residence
Hall
WHEN: Yesterday at about
12:30 a.m.
WHAT: A student was escort-
ed to the hospital after a vase
fell off of a desk and hit her
knee, UPS reported.

CORRECTIONS Manchester, will guard against
0 An article on yesterday's terrorist threats.
front page ('U' makes your name
your choice) incorrectly implied The second-ever female
that the University's Office 4cabinetmember inKuwait
of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and was jeered by parliament
TransgenderAffairs doesn't
officially support the preferred members as she was sworn in
name policy. It does officially yesterday, the BBC reported.
support it. She was heckled for refusing to
Please report any error in wear a hijab, a headscarf, dur-
the Daily to corrections@ ing the event. Kuwaiti law does
michigandaily.com. not require Islamic dress.

U U

4

4

E E A A- PHILOSOPHICAL THINKER

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The free Michigan Uniform Guest application
is available online via PDF at
www.oakland.edu/guestapply/ug

4

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AFTERn. aD A . CREEPY BEARDED GUY

Find a job before you outstay your welcome.
Post-grad careers, part-time jobs and internships.
Go online or text CBcampus to 68247.

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4

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