2 - Tuesday, April 3, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com MUSTACHE LAUGHS Be very, very quiet - I'm hunting squirrel You know it's spring in Ann Arbor. when the sun comes out and the snow melts away. You watch as April show- ers bring May flowers. And sometimes, something really odd happens that makes the entire depressing winter worthwhile. I was walking on the Diag last spring, enjoying the breeze and the bird song when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a strange move- ment. I glanced over and saw a scruffy man bending down, offering what appeared to be pieces of bread to an assembly of squirrels. "All right," I thought, "there's an image of pure generosity. Once done with his hard-won food, he's good enough to offer scrumptious charity to the ubiquitous squirrels." But then I saw what he had in his other hand. I rubbed my eyes, sure that I was mistaken. He held a stick a yard long, wrapped in duct tape with a large rock affixed to the top - a home- See something ies the Ann Arbor of Michigan exper submissions to gre igandaily.com. made hammer. He poised over the dis and licked his lips. I couldn'tbelieve ing for akill. Of course, I w - but I was alread so I booked it into thought about theI rest of class. All I can say is dude. A life wit cream is r worth livin There are sever that embod- without which most girls cannot sur- or University vive. One is chocolate. Another is ice rience?. E-mail cream. )ssman@mich- Last week, I went to Za's with three of my female roommates. As we were enjoying our Caesar salads e brandished it, and vanilla latte smoothies, a group stracted animals of guys walked past. We caught part of their conversation. it - he was prim- "Yeah, I haven't had ice cream since '96," one said. anted to watch The conversation at our table halt- dy late for class, ed.After some quickcalculations, we Angell Hall and realized that that's 11 years. guy through the We stared at each other, all think- ing the same thing. happy hunting, We sat in awe until one of my roommates broke the long, painful PAUL BLUMER silence. "That man has a sad, sad life," she thout ice said. So Mr. Has-Lived-Without-Ice- iot a life Cream-Since-'96: e-mail me, and I'll buy you some. Even if you're lactose intolerant, living without ice cream is just not right. al things in life CHRISTINA HILDRETH SHAY SPANIOLA/Daily Josh Fischel, Public Policy graduate student, in an outfit for the comedy night for Mustache-a- thon, a fundraiser for 826michigan, which tutors young students in writing. The group meets every Monday at 8:26 p.m. to show off the progress of their new facial hair. C 4c Wchigan Dailj 413 E. Huron St. Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1327 www.michigandaily.com KARL STAAWFL ALEXIS FLOYD Editor in Chief Business Manager 734-647-3336 734-764-0558 stampfl@michigandaily.com floyd@michigandaily.com CONTACT INFORMATION Newsroom office hours:Sun.-Thurs. 11a.m.- 2 a.m. 734-763-2459 News Tips news@michigandaily.com Corrections corrections@michigandaily.com Letterstothe Editor tothedaily@michigandaily.com Photography Department photo@michigandaily.com Arts Section artspage@michigandaily.com 734-763-0379 Editorial Page opinion@michigandaiy.com SportsSection sports@michigandaily.com 734-764-8s8s Display Sales display@michigandaily.com ClassifiedSales classified@michigandaily.com 734-764-0s57 OnlineSales onlineads@michigandaily.com 734-61s-013s Finance finance@michigandaity.com EDITORIAL STAFF Jeffrey BloomeruManaging Editor bloomer@michigandaily.com Andrew Grossman Managing News Editorgrossman@michigandaily.coni NEWS EDITORS:Kelly Fraser, Dave Mekelburg, Gabe Nelson, Walter Nowinski ImranSyed EditorialPageEditor syed@michigandaily.com ASSOCIATE EDITORIAL PAGE EDITORS: Gary Graca, Theresa Kennelly, Whitney Dibo Scott Bell Managing Sports Editor belt@michigandaily.com SEN IOR SPORTS EDITORS: H. Jose Bosch, Dan Bromwich, Aber Colvi, Ja0ck HemanKein Wrght SPOaRTSNGuEOS:oDaeldn, Chriserring,Mark Giannotto,DanLevy,IanRobinson,NateSandals Andrew SargusKlein Managing Arts Editor klein@michigandaily.com ASSOCIATEARTSEDITORS:KimberlyChou,KristinMacDonald ARTS SUB EDITORS: Abigail B. Colodner, Caroline Hartmann, Matt Kivel Michael Passman, Paul Tassi Angela Cesere ManagingPhoto Editor cesere@michigandaily.com Peter Schottenfels Managing Photo Editor schottenfels@michigandaily.com ASSOrCIAEOTrO rEDITOSoedrigo Gay,,Ben Simon ,rASSISAN POTOETRS: Je~ccremyCh,Zacharyeisner BridgetO'Donnell Managing Design Editor odonnell@michigandailycom ASSISTANT DESIGN EDITOR: Lisa Gentile Angela Cesere Managing Online Editor cesere@michigandailycom ASSOCIATE ONLINE EDITORS: Phil Dokas, Nate Sandals Anne VanderMey Magazine Editor vandermey@michigandaily.com BUSINESS STAFF Ben Schrotenboer Display Sales Manager Dauid Dai Displuy SulesManager KristinaDiamantoni Clsfied SaesManager AISTNT CLASSIFIED SLES MANAGER: Michael Moore. Emily tipriano Itntine SalesMunater David Jia Goh Finance Manager BrittanyO'Keefe Layout Manager Chelsea Hoard Production Manager The Michigan Dailyt SSN 0745-967) is published Monday through Friday during the fall and winter terms by students at the University of Michigan. One copy is available free of chargeto all readers. Additional copies may be picked up at the Daily's officefor $2.Subscriptionsforfallterm,startinginSeptember,viaU.S.mailare$110.Winterterm (January through April) is $115,yearlong (September through April is $195.University affiliates are subject to a reduced subscription rate. On-campus subscriptions for fall term are $35.Subscriptions must be prepaid. The Michigan Daily is a member of The Associated Press and The Associated Collegiate Press. 4 CRIME NOTES 'U' president's window shattered WHERE: 815 S. University Ave. WHEN: Saturday between 10 and 10:30 p.m. WHAT: An unknown flying object broke a window pane in the door of University Pres- ident Mary Sue Coleman's residence, the Department of Public Safety reported. UPS said it seemed to be acciden- tal. CAMPUS EVENTS & NOTES couldn't locate the man. Wheelchair wheeled away WHERE: University Hospital WHEN: Sunday at about 8:30 p.m. WHAT: While driving in the parking lot, an employee of the University Hospi- tal observed a wheelchair being taken in the trunk of a vehicle, DPS reported. The Medline wheelchair is val- ued at $500. There are no suspects. Music at midday WHAT: An informal piano concert by Engineering stu- dent Franklin Jen WHO: The Paul and Ruth McCracken Distinguished University Professorship of Corporate Strategy WHEN: Today at 11:30 a.m. WHERE: Basement of the- Michigan Union Opera scenes based on Miller play WHAT: Select scenes from "A View From A Bridge," an opera by William Bolcom. The opera is based on Arthur Miller's play of the same name. WHO: Opera Workshop WHEN: Today at 7 p.m. WHERE: Studio One, Wal- green Drama Center Lecture on globalization WHAT: Ross School of Busi- ness Prof. C.E. Prahalad will deliver the Distinguished Uni- versity Professorship lecture on improving access for all to the benefits of globalization. WHO: The Paul and Ruth McCracken Distinguished University Professorship of Corporate Strategy WHEN: Today at 5:30 p.m. WHERE: Amphitheater, 4th Ploor, Eackham Graduate School In order to simulate condi- tions of a flight to Mars, the European Space Agency plans to isolate a crew of six people for a period of 500 days, Science Daily reported. The crew will be forced to deal with simulated emergencies, pos- sible illnesses, a limited food supply and a 40-minute com- munication delay. The United Kingdom opened its first "24" style Counter Terrorist Unit yesterday, The (London) Sun reported. The unit, located in Falling vase Man passed out strikes student in Union on knee WHERE: Michigan Union WHEN: Sunday at about 12:45 p.m. WHAT: A caller reported that a man was passed out on a sofa in front of Amer's in the Union, DPS reported. Police WHERE: East Quad Residence Hall WHEN: Yesterday at about 12:30 a.m. WHAT: A student was escort- ed to the hospital after a vase fell off of a desk and hit her knee, UPS reported. CORRECTIONS Manchester, will guard against 0 An article on yesterday's terrorist threats. front page ('U' makes your name your choice) incorrectly implied The second-ever female that the University's Office 4cabinetmember inKuwait of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and was jeered by parliament TransgenderAffairs doesn't officially support the preferred members as she was sworn in name policy. It does officially yesterday, the BBC reported. support it. She was heckled for refusing to Please report any error in wear a hijab, a headscarf, dur- the Daily to corrections@ ing the event. Kuwaiti law does michigandaily.com. not require Islamic dress. U U 4 4 E E A A- PHILOSOPHICAL THINKER If you're spending your summer in the metro Detroit area, keep moving toward your graduation as a guest student at Oakland University, where we offer many courses that can directly transfer to your home institution. Choose from more than 1,000 diverse classes in - two convenient seven-week sessions. Spring session May 7 - June 23 Registration March 19 - May 6 Summer session July 2 - August 22 Registration March 19 - July 1 Accelerate your academic success. OU offers 115 undergraduate and more than 90 graduate and certificate programs in: - Arts and Sciences - Business Administration - Education and Human Services - Engineering and Computer Science - Health Sciences " Nursing Learn more at www.oakiand.edu/futurestudents The free Michigan Uniform Guest application is available online via PDF at www.oakland.edu/guestapply/ug 4 4 AFTERn. aD A . CREEPY BEARDED GUY Find a job before you outstay your welcome. Post-grad careers, part-time jobs and internships. Go online or text CBcampus to 68247. I r A US.I.Coe o ar r rbuilder , 4 'Standard text messaging rates may apply