2B - Thursday, February 1, 2007
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The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com a
What
Disney is
all about
By CAROLINE HARTMANN
DailyArts Writer
We've all heard the rumors: Phallic symbolism
in "The Little Mermaid," a starry sky spelling out
S-E-X in "The Lion King" and "Fantasia" as an
animated acid trip. Disney might be the quintes-
sential source for innocent children's entertain-
ment, but it's also been targeted as a cesspool of
sexual innuendo and unspoken drug references.
Remember sitting mere inches from the TV
screen, your thumb hovering over the pause
button, eagerly waiting for that single instant of
scandal? of course, you never caught it on the
first try, so the next half hour was spent rewind-
ing and re-watching, turningup the volume and
turning it down.
Was that the priest's knee flashing Ariel or
his boner thrusting forward? Is Aladdin actu-
ally whispering "take off your clothes" on the
balcony, or am I just imaginingthings?
But some speculation is believable, making
clever detective work all the more complicat-
ed. The animation crew at Disney reportedly
defended the "sex" stars in "The Lion King" by
claiming that the letters were actually "SFX,"
short for the special effects team. And the phal-
lic imagery on the cover art for "The Little
Mermaid" was supposedly a last-minute stab
at Disney after the designer was fired. Few
Disney classics have escaped the inappropriate
rap sheet, least of all "Who Framed Roger Rab-
bit," where the overtly sexual themes are far
less ambiguous. Jessica Rabbit has even come
under attack for an unforeseen and well-placed
smudge of brown ink.
It's one thing when impolite images are
a
a
"Mario Kart" - Whether it's the idea of setting it in the des-
ert, driving on a rainbow or She helplessness of being hit by a ted
shell before the lump in Wario Stadium, this game gase instant
credibility to Nintendo 64. We don't usually condone auto rac-
ing as a sport, but using three mushrooms as a speed boost pro-
sides a convincing argument.
"Madden '94" - Thanks a lot, Madden '94. You basi-
cally deprived me of my childhood. Snow day? Why bother
sledding when I can spend countless mind-numbing hours
perfecting my game?
Beach with friends? Not when I could lead Brett Favre to
his 18th consecutive Super Bowl MVP trophy.
"Tony Hawk Pro Skater" - Grinds, ollies, heel flips, pop-
shove its - not exactly the most common names in the sports
world, but they were to many youngsters when THPS arrived.
From absurd locations to building-to-building jumps, the game
gave children everywhere, not just emo kids, a chance to expe-
Something's not right with this picture.
visually discernible, but what about drug-use
hypotheses that can only be guessed at? There's
no way to prove that Snow White's seven
dwarves actually represent the seven stages of
cocaine addiction, as convincing as the theory
might be. And even though it's hard to imagine
any sober person conceiving Alice's psychedelic
cartoon-trip down the rabbit hole, it's techni-
cally a legitimate argument.
So the question remains: urban legend or
indisputable fact?
The only evidence that Disney is responsible
for their suggestive extras is the video recall
issued on "The Rescuers" after viewers across
the nation saw a plainly nude model swinging in
the background. But beyond that, we're left to
argue between speculation and hearsay.
Moving beyond the allegations themselves,
what motives could possibly drive the Disney
Corporation to include such asinine pranks in
its films? obviously the creative minds at work
are adults, but it's hard to believe that even the
most jaded employees need to get their kicks
this badly. Sure, Disney makes an effort to
appeal to its older audiences, but these aren't
exactly "Shrek's" accessible jokes we're talk-
ing about. And I think it's pretty clear that the
elementary-school group hasn't zeroed in on all
the controversy, so we can rule out deliberate
juvenile corruption.
Then there's the answer that no one wants
to hear: Our painstaking attention to detail has
been wasted on - gasp! - non-existent mishaps.
Are Disney's coincidental blunders simply the
result of careless oversight? or worse, are we
searching for something that isn't there at all?
When an entity as powerfully influential as Dis-
ney becomes a monopoly of virginal entertain-
ment, we're fueled by an intense desire to see it
come crashing to the ground.
But in the end, does the debate really matter?
Whether or not Disney's intentions have been
realized, whether or not we've been sadly mis-
led, the shock value and quest for crude humor
have been more than accomplished. We've all
had a good laugh over one blooper or another,
and our prurient interests have been sufficiently
satisfied. Isn't that enough?
The gaming system that started it all
- -oA Jam.-ll:istuaes is nnree woros:"Hes on tire.
With a fiery ball scorching the net and players soaring
above the rim, this arcade-style basketball game brought atti-
tude to the hardwood. Plus, you can't beat the duo of Seattle
Supersonics Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp.
"Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball" - Forget that not a single player
looked anything like its real-life counterpart. This game was
great to play with friends because of the ridiculous differences
in pitch speeds. Nothing is better than striking out your friend on
a 40 MPH change up.
a
"Jordan vs. Bird: One-on-one" - We can't condone stereo-
types, but somehowJordan vs. Bird made it work. The game cen-
tered around a one-on-one match-up, but the real showstopper
was the game's other features. the dunk and 3-point-shooting
contests. Only one character could compete in each event -
Jordan in the dunk contest, and Bird in the 3-point-shooting one,
Coincidence? We think not,
By MARK SCHULTZ
DailyArts Writer
Christmas Day 1994 was the
worst day of my life. Well, that
might be hyperbole, but atthe time,
as I sat with my head in my hands
weeping and cursing, it seemed
that my 7-year-old life couldn't
get any worse. What could drive a
normally happy and well-adjusted
boy to tears on what was normally
a day of material celebration? Well,
that Christmas I had only asked for
just one thing: a Super Nintendo.
As you probably guessed, my
beloved SNES didn't arrive. I
still don't really understand why
my parents chose to torment me
another full year before bestowing
upon me the gift of 16-bit graph-
ics and unequalled gameplay. All I
know is the day I first popped that
"Super Mario World" cartridge in,
I knew I was experiencing some-
thing special.
"Super Mario World," "Legend
of Zelda: A Link to the Past," "Ken
Griffey, Jr. Baseball" ... I can recall
these titles at a moment's notice
because I still have the games
and still play them. I also own the
incredible "Super Mario All-Stars"
compilation, which includes all
the "Mario" games released on
the original Nintendo. Not in the
history of mankind had so much
entertainment and fun been con-
tained in a cartridge only four
inches wide.
It's easy to talk about "Mario,"
but the beauty of Super Nintendo
was that even the mediocre games
were enjoyable. A game as obscure
as "James Bond, Jr.," which I
picked up used at Blockbuster for
$3, still had a great deal of enter-
tainment value. The vast SNES
library derived a game from every
conceivable vein of '90s pop cul-
ture. There were games based on
movies, like "Jurassic Park," and
"Wayne's World," and games based
on TV shows, like "Bart Simpson's
Nightmare," and "Animaniacs."
Even Izzy, the mascot of the 1996
Summer Olympics, had his own
game. It even had an adaptation of
"Sim Cit
for ever
bizarre y
appeal w
tendo the
time.
Super
were - 4
around. (
tioned "I
represent
SNE
rit
into.
ground b
ball" and
- which,
as well a
fortably r
of today.
had no r
nobody c,
y." There was something want to jump with Scottie Pippen
yone - no matter how 20 feet in the air and dunk a flam-
our taste - and that mass ing basketball?
as what made Super Nin- Back in the heyday of Super Nin-
best-selling system of its tendo, there weren't lines of people
camping out to buy games, and
Nintendo's sports games there were no kids fighting each
and still are - the best other over the last copy of "Super
Games like the aforemen- Star Wars." That's because Super
Ken Griffey, Jr. Baseball" Nintendo didn't take itself too seri-
ted a pleasing middle- ously, and its quality was so good it
sold itself. It may be hard for cur-
rent college students to understand
the child's why their parents miss the days of
oversized vinyl records, and in 20
MC o pyears we may have a hard time
e of passage explaining to our children why a
ad~lescence. cheap system with poor graphics
. cwas so much fun to play. My Super
Nintendo is now 11 years old, cov-
ered with dirt and stains, and every
etween the earliest "Base- year my aging copies of "Mario All
i "Golf" Nintendo games Stars" and "Super Mario World"
were generic in gameplay are a little less likely to work. So,
s title - and the uncom- I implore you, get your old Super
'ealistic "Madden" games Nintendo out of the basement - or,
"NBA Jam" might have if you don't have one, browse eBay
real basis in reality, but - and rediscover the magic of the
ared. After all, who didn't first great video game-system.
"Duckhunt" - As a child, holding up the gun long enough
to shoot 10 rounds' worth of ducks was a sport in itself. The
only thing But I only wanted to shoot that dog that pointed and
laughed whenever I missed. What an asshole.
I
"FIFA '98: Road to the World Cup" - This was a game of
stars, including all the best players in the world.
What it lacked in graphics, it made up for in how many
goals were scored per game. Better yet, the opening mon-
tage had Song Number 2 by The Blur ("Woo Hoo!").
IMx @ JJI
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