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tfAND014l STUDENT T NTERVI EW
PB Tangible history
The Shant serves as
DKE offices and
fraternity museum.
4B Arch column
Austin Dingwall on
Detroit's future and the
University's involvement.
4B The List
A guide to the happenings,
concerts and events around
town this weekend.
5B In My Own Words
Andrew Horowitz discusses
the difficulties of entering
the music business.
6B Greek Life
Tragic incidents lead to University
and Greek reforms, hoping to
make Greek life and parties safer.
10B Meta-Critic Column
Jason Skorski talks
about why he's not a
fan of the Hill area.
10B Fashion Column
Faria Jabbar teaches
students to stay warm
yet fashionable.
11B Random Student Interview
Random can compose
haikus on command but
can't write fortunes.
12B Point/Counterpoint
The G.l Joes and Ninja Turtles
debate who's more dangerous:
Dick Cheney or Osama bin Laden.
Random doesn't want t
By Chris Gaerig / A
Magazine Editor: James V. Dowd
Associate Magazine Editor: Chris Gaerig
Cover Art: Emma Nolan-Abrahamian and Caitlin Kleiboer
Photo Editor: Shubra Ohri
Designer: William Couch
Editor in Chief: Donn M. Fresard
Managing Editor: Ashley Dinges
From The Editors
7-FAST
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This week's issue
makes for an interest-
ing reading, address-
ing a few of the
many issues facing
our school, city and
state.
Daily news editor Jer-
emy Davidson spent
a great deal of time
researching the histo-
ries and early results
of new policies regard-
ing Greek life on our
campus which have
received mixed reviews.
Y hndom: Hello?
The Michigan Daily: Hi,
is Colleen there?
R: No, can I take a message?
TMD: Is this her roommate?
R: Yes, it is.
TMD: What's your name?
R: Katie.
TMD: Well I have great news,
you've been selected to do the Ran-
dom Student Interview for the Mich-
igan Daily. Do you have a couple of
minutes?
R: YEAH!
TMD: Excited I see. First ques-
tion: Do you watch the Olympics?
R: Heck yes.
TMD: Why? What draws you to
the Olympics?
R: They're kind of weird sports
that you don't usually watch that
often.
TMD: What country are you root-
ing for?
R: Uh, the United States.
TMD: I think I'm rooting for Lat-
via after they tied the United States
hockey team tonight.
R: Yeah, I was like, "Oh my gosh,
Latvia."
TMD: I don't know if you know
much about them but they're pretty
awesome. Do you know who Arman-
do dos Santos is?
R: No.
TMD: Would you believe me if I
said he was a Brazilian bobsledder
who was sent home for using ste-
roids?
R: Sure, that's sad.
TMD: What do you think about
Brazil having a bobsledding team?
R: It's like that movie "Cool Run-
nings" right?
TMD: Would you believe me if I
told you their team was inspired by
"Cool Runnings"?
R: Wow, that's cool.
TMD: It is. Do you think they got
a fat, white guy like John Candy to
be their coach?
R: Probably not.kButvmaybe,
because John Candy liked overdosed
and now this guy's taking steroids.
See that drug connection?
TMD: It's a conspiracy. "The
Mighty Ducks" inspired the pro
hockey team. What do you think
about the pro team not being Mighty
next year anymore?
R: They're just going to be the
Ducks? I don't really like them any-
way so I guess it's OK.
TMD: But why don't they want to
be mighty?
R: Well, if you have to say you're
mighty, you're probably not that
mighty.
TMD: Yeah, over-compensa-
tion. Guys do that a lot. What's your
favorite Olympic sport?
R: Um, snowboarding.
TMD: I like curling.
R: I hate curling. It's just so stu-
pid.
TMD: But it's just a giant game
of shuffleboard on ice. What game
would you like to see gigantic?
R: Um ...
TMD: What about checkers where
you have to leapfrog people to get
them out? How about Monopoly?
R: Yeah, because then, since I'm
always the car when I play Monop-
oly, I could drive around in a Rolls
Royce.
TMD: Where do you think they'd
play a game of giant Monopoly?
R: California, you can do any-
thing there.
TMD: Yeah, like cross dressing.
Do you think Michelle Kwan is a
quitter?
R: No. Now we've got that cute
new girl that was on "Project Run-
way." Do you watch "Project Run-
way"?
TMD: I do not, but I'm asking
you the question, not the other way
around. Next question.
R: Well, you should watch it
tonight.
TMD: I'm probably not going to.
I think Michelle Kwan is a quitter
because there was this Russian fig-
ure skater, dropped on her head four
years ago, and she won the gold this
year.
R: She kicks ass.
TMD: So we've concluded that
Michelle Kwan is a quitter. How did
you spend your Valentine's Day?
R: I didn't have a good Valentine's
Day?
TMD: You were alone?
R: My boyfriend is like 45 min-
utes away.
TMD: That's so sad. Did you cry
yourself to sleep?
R: No.
TMD: That would've been funny.
I would've laughed at you. What's
your favorite poetic meter?
R: My what? What is poetic
meter?
TMD: For example, Shakespeare
wrote in iambic pentameter. It's the
amount of syllables and accents in a
line.
R: Can you make this multiple
choice?
TMD: Fine. Different kinds of
beat: trochee, dactyl and iamb.
R: The first one sounded cool.
TMD: Yeah trochees are pretty
cool. Could you compose me a haiku
on the spot?
R: How are the syllables.
TMD: Seven, five, seven.
R: Random interview / Wow, just
called my phone tonight / That is
very cool.
TMD: That's pretty good. If you
could write a fortune cookie, what
would it say?
R: It would probably just say:
Have a great day.
TMD: That's not really a fortune.
R: Um, I don't know. These are real-
ly obscure questions. My roommate
got this before and he asked her if she
wanted to make out. I'm kind of disap-
pointed that I'm not getting make-out
interviews. This is kind of stressful.
TMD: Next question: What do
you think about the guy that pro-
posed to Mary Sue?
R: Oh, that was nice that he did
that but it was kind of lame.
TMD: Lame? I would say weird.
R: It's not very nice of you to say
that. I don't like saying mean things
about people.
TMD: Saying mean things about
people is hilarious. Your entertain-
ment at the expense of other people
is what it's all about. Are you still a
little worried about the red scare?
R: What's the red scare?
TMD: Communist invasion? It
for more information call 734/998-6251
The University of Michigan College of Literature, Science,
and the Arts presents a public lecture and reception
Place requests at: http://wwwlib.minich.edu/7fast/
1
1
Send questions to: 7-FAST( umich.edu
i 1 1
McKenny Union,
aI *hL
Architecture columnist Austin Dingwall dis-
cusses his opinions on what might happen to
the city of Detroit now that the Super Bowl
has come and gone. After successful efforts
to revive the city while the national spotlight
was on it, there are hopes that the city can
undergo a more permanent transformation.
On a much lighter note, University alum
Andrew Horowitz continues the "In My Own
Words" segment with his experiences with the
band Tally Hall as they try to make it big.
Thanks for reading.
James V. Dowd, Magazine Editor
Chris Gaerig, Associate Magazine Editor
John Mitani
James N. Spuhler Collegiate
Professor of Anthropology
Hey, Sophomc
and Juniors...
..sYours b
simply not c
You've got the business savvy, but thin
the Business Staff at the Michigan Dail
You will sell advertising locally and nat
territory, create ad copy, and earn con
big time experience here.
So, if you're the ambitious, creative an
by and pick up an application. Deadlir
The Michigan Daily
Student Publiaions Building
420 Maynard Street, 2"d Floor
or call (734) 764-0662 for more info
Thursday
February 16, 2006
Alumni Association, Founders Room
a2 4:10 PM
28 - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, February 16, 2006
The Michigan Daily -