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February 10, 2005 - Image 12

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The Michigan Daily, 2005-02-10

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2B - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, February 10, 2005

The Michigan E

Random Student Interview
Jennifer talks about hot celebrities and her first date.
Subordinate women
Wornen offer opinions on gender roles.
B Girls night out
Staying im? Some party suggestions for the ladies.
6B 8 minute dating
Singles (y to ind ronrnrnce on a tight schedule.
Steve Du Bois: A time to love
Steve explains why Feb. 14 is for everybody,
The Weekend List
Valentine's Day offers weekend fun for all.

11B
12B
13B
14B
15B
16B

FeatUe Article
Far apart
Couples make long distance relationships work.
Adam Burns: A fish-eye view
Adam explores life in the Angell Hall computer lab.
WolverineSingles.com
Everyone gets the e-mafls, but does It reallyw ┬░ork?
Gift guide
The simple way to find the presents you need.
Weekend Entertainment
Adamn Ruttenberg on chick flicks.
Good ideas
7 tudent: offer the best ways to show affection,

Daily writers Evan McGarvey,
Nikki Black and CC Song battle
over what men and women want.

WEEKEND

you calI that a bagel?|with A d a m R o t t e n b e r g
CHICK FLICKS MY ASS

BOX OFFICE
Gross in millions of dollars
1. Boogeyman (19) - Oh, Abe
Vigoda is in the title role? We're so
scared.
2. The Wedding Date (11.1) -
Hollywood has done what science
could never do: Combine every
romantic comedy into one movie.
Bravo.
3. Are We There Yet? (10.6)
- To those who've seen it, it's also
known as "Is the 90 minutes of my
life back yet?"
4. Hide and Seek (8.9) - The
only thing scary about this movie
is that Dakota Fanning is already
playing a goth chick.
5. Million Dollar Baby (8.7)
- Wouldn't it be great if Morgan
Freeman could be the central voice
of reason and narrator in all our
lives?
6. The Aviator (5.4) - It's nice
that Alec Baldwin can finally be in
a watchable movie.
7. Meet the Fockers (4.8)
- This movie is surprisingly a
lot more tasteful than Teri Polo's
recent Playboy spread.
8. Sideways (4.6) - Getting
smashed before seeing this movie
makes it infinitely better.
9. Racing Stripes (4.28) -
Look at how low Snoop Dogg has
sunk: He's voicing a dog.
10. Coach Carter (4.23) -
Why didn't they call it "Cliched
Carter?"

t's that time of year again - avoided~ at all c4ts rsmblance to the Julia Roberts'
5no, not 'Christmaa. But rathir, Hkwever, not all tearjerkers ate ad d&bacla "My Best Ffiend's
.it's one of Halimatk's favorite necessarily chick flicks. "YMiflian.Wedding" (from the redheaded.
holidays: Valentine's Day. So, it's Dollar Daby," which..pam a emo- lead to Dermott Mudioiey), and the.
onirnatural 'to atsinme tha[ .ee tonally draining third actj s any- title alone offers wotried viewets.
vision sets ;acrss the'nati wijfl thing but a pliyed-out chick fllck. enough reason to stay away. Any
be showing the 'rusd diabolical of.What differentiates a .ovie.like tine the word wedding appears in
films - the chick k......."'Miltion Dollar Baby".....mh the title, it's a 'cue t r..j f.the
I apologize to any guy forcead more cliched fart like "Beaches"' exits. Moreover, after seeing just
to sit through one of these atroci-. Is the plot. "Baby" dffersa try.&ne preview, even the muos~t idiotic.
FsTp.ythat fans from bothsexes ca.person can figure out how the filmh
involve the same Ingredients -nofly enjoy, in spite of the mtlancholy will end. Maybe there will be a
zmatter the cosmetik diffeience finale laugh or two along the way, but the
Insert Julia Roberts and you've While there is some gray area sugary sweet love story will always
got yourself a $100 million block- between standard dramatic films have its inevitable happy ending.
buster- and unabashed tearjerkers, the PIm not against romance in mov.
These films are basically inter- romantic comedy is an unmistak-.ies..It's just that almost every film
changeable. It's unfathomable as able genre. Girl meets boy. Girl that can be designated as a chick
to why audiences go to see them. detests boy. Girl discovers that flick fails to hold my interest. If it's
Every year, the studios unleash new underneath it all, the boy is right a movie with a decent love story I'm
train wrecks to appease the masses for her. Throw in some complica-.looking for, then there are plenty of
- well, at least part of the masses. tihns and maybe a sing along orquality movies to choose from.
With such a deluge of junk into the dance number. Girl and boy find For straight comedy, a film like
marketplace,. how can the dreaded true love. These paint-by-numbers "There's Something About Mary"
chick .ick be spotted before it's too.plots allow for little innovation or wears its heart firmly on.its sleeve,
late? variation. If you've seen one, you've even if that sleeve is covered in
There are two maintypes of seen them all. "hair gel.""Die Hard" - the quint-
chick flicks: the tearjerker and the What makes these chick flicks essential action movie - attempts
romantic comedy. While they seem so unbearable are their reliance on a romantic subplot in the midst
almost indistinguishable upon first romantic relationships as the sole of the bloodshed. While.John
appearance, both offer enough tor crux of the story. Worse yet, the McClain's efforts to win back his
ture and torment to scourge even films frequently emasculate the ex-wifeparerife with explosions, the
the most tolerant viewer. men in order to have them fit suc- basic elements are there. Any man
The dramatic tearjerker tugs at cinctly into the prepackaged love who would walk through broken
the heart of the audience by lulling affair. The "tough" Mel Gibson glass barefooted deserves a second
it into accepting an idyllic relation- character in "What Women Want" chance.
ship between lovers, family or even turns into whiny loverboy by the With plenty of other options
just friends. "Beaches" epitomizes end of the film. The female leads out there, throw away the copy of
everything wrong with said genre. are more often than not, neurotic to "Pretty Woman" and watch some-
From the moment Bette Midler's a fault, creating a shrill and unlik- thing that everyone can enjoy.
"Wind Beneath My Wings" begins, able character (exhibit A: "Bridget
you know you're in trouble. An Jones's Diary"). Even though Adam claims to hate
annoying ballad, let alone Midler's This year's holiday treat - "The all so-called chick flicks, he secretly
presence, should be more than Wedding Date" - seems to epito- watches "p'retty Woman" everv
enough to tip off anyone in doubt mize the carbon-copy formula of night. Watch along with him. Hell
over whether or not to watch the the romantic comedy. The film make popcorn. He can be reached at
film. Dramas of this ilk must be bears more than just a passing arotten@umich.edu.

MAGAZINE

AW

U
PATE/TIME
NOISE REDUCTION

Daily Arts Mix Tape

DATE/TIME
NOISE REDUCTION

__

Writers: Nikki Black, Emily
Fellows, Megan Jacobs, Evan
McGarvey, Bernie Nguyen,
Shubra Ohri, Kathryn Rice,
Adam Rosen, Amanda Shapin,
CC Song, Sarah Zarowny
Photo Editor: Ali Olsen
Photographers: Ashley Harper,
Mike Hulsebus, Shubra Ohri,
Peter Schottenfels, Ryan Weiner
Cover Photo: Ali Olsen
Arts Editor: Adam Rottenberg,
Managing Editor
Associate Editors: Alexandra
Jones, Melissa Runstrom
Managing Editor: Alison Go
Editor in Chief: Jason Z. Pesick

Two sides to every relationship,
two sides to every mix tape. In
the spirit of a Catholic martyr
who died for two young lovers,
most people will probably be
cursing all of those who've
managed to find someone to
get naked with on a regular
basis. This is not their mix
tape. The A-Side is for the
sweet day spent in the glow
of your lover's affection. And
as for the B-Side, well, turn
off your phone, strip offtall
your clothing and don't forget
to stretch. I'll bring the
champagne, you bring your
sweet self. Lights off, game on.
- Evan McGarvey

1. Time of the Season 1 Left & Right -D'Angelo
- The Zombies feat. Method Man & Redhman
2. In Every Dream Home a 2. Neglekted - The Afghan
Heartache?'- Roxy Music Wings
3. Try a Little Tenderness 3. Anywhere - 12
- Otis Redding
4. oin It- LL Coo( J
4. Hot Like Fire - Aaliyah 4.OoiW It
5. Black Milk - Massive At- 5. Get Me Off - asement
tack Jaxx
6. Bachelorette - Bjork " Fuckin' You Tonight - The
Notorious B.T.G. anid R. Kelly
7. Im Only Sleeping - The 7. Head - Prince
Beatles
8. One Woman - Al Green 8. Ms. Fat Booty - Mos Def
9. Paper Tiger - Spoon 9. ILike the Crotch on You
- R. Kelly
10A Slow Like Honey - Fiona 10. Between the Sheets - The
Isley Brothers.

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