2B - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, September 23, 2004
Random links Gary to Mary Sue
By Doug Wornort
Daily TV/New Media Editor
The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Lauren
Random: I think you have the wrong
TMD: Oh, I'm sorry. Who's this?
R: This is Skylar.
TMD: Hi Skylar, I'm calling from The
Michigan Daily and you've been selected
to do this week's Random Student Inter-
TMD: Yeah, you. Can you believe it?
R: But, weren't you looking for some-
TMD: Oh, it doesn't matter. We can
call anybody. That's the whole point of the
interview. Totally random.
R: Um, ok.
TMD: Yeah, do you got a few min-
TMD: All right, cool. First question:
Let's say I had a crush on a girl. What
approach would be better in going about
asking her out: a friendship bracelet or giv-
ing her a sticker that has the letters "IYQ"
R: Um, probably a friendship bracelet?
TMD: But that would give away the
aura of friendship.
R: I mean ... I'm a girl and I'm not
really attracted to girls, so I guess I really
TMD: What if I asked her out via Etch-
a-Sketch, writing "Will you go out with
me?" on an Etch-a-Sketch and giving it
R: I don't think she'd like that very
TMD: Why not?
R: Because that's really immature.
Why don't you just ask her out?
TMD: Yeah, but that's no fun. Do you
think that would work?
R: Yeah. Who is this?
TMD: Oh, no wonder I'm single. Next
question: Do you consider it a tragedy that
Christopher Columbus had a national holi-
day named after him and all Julius Caesar
got was a casino, a pizza franchise and a
salad named after him?
R: Yes, that is tragic.
TMD: What do you think Caesar
should have gotten instead of all that?
Don't you think we should get a day off of
school in honor of Caesar?
R: YeslI agree.
TMD: Yeah, what did Columbus do?
R: Nothing. Discovered something that
was already there.
TMD: Who's your favorite explorer?
What about my boy Bartholomew Dias?
You don't like him?
R: I guess ...what is this interviewing
TMD: This is the Random Student
Interview, Skylar. This is how it works. So
Bartholomew Dias: cool or not cool?
TMD: Exactly. What's better: Grand-
ma Schubert's meatloaf or Granny Smith
R: Granny Smith's apples.
TMD: What about Grandma
R: I don't like meatloaf.
TMD:Doyou think Grandma Schubert
was a real person?
TMD: Then how did they get the name
for the meatloaf?
R: They made it up.
TMD: I don't think they would go that
low to name a meatloaf. Do you think that
Gary Coleman and Mary Sue Coleman
are long-lost siblings?
R: Haha, yes.
TMD: So they're brother and sister?
TMD: Wouldn't it be cool if one night
Gary Coleman came over to Mary Sue's
house and was like "What's up, sis?" and
Mary Sue would be like "What you talk-
ing about, Gary?"
R: Yeah, that would be really cool.
TMD: Don't you think Mary Sue
would freak out?
R: Yeah. Hmmm...
TMD: If Superman fought Batman,
who would win?
R: Probably Superman.
TMD: But Batman's got all the cool
R: Yeah, but Superman is like the stron-
gest guy in the world.
TMD: I thought that was the Incredible
R: I don't think so.
TMD: So do you think the Incredible
Hulk could bench more than Superman?
R: I don't know. Superman's pretty
TMD: Yeah, he is more powerful than
a locomotive. What if the Invisible Man
fought the Human Torch? Who would win
R: Hold on a second (puts phone on
TMD: She put me on hold!
R: Ok. U.....the human torch.
TMD: Why? You can't see the Invis-
ible Man, so how can you defeat him?
R: I don't know, if he just flailed every-
TMD: And set everything on fire?
R: Yeah.! Hahaha.
TMD: Ok, I don't really buy that. The
Invisible Man would totally win.
R: Haha, what's your name?
TMD: My name is The Michigan
R: No, it's not!
TMD: Yes, it is! Do you think the Plan-
eteer who provided heart was the most
useless of the Planeteers?
R: Yeah, probably. Wait, the Planeteers
were the people that had those rings,
TMD: Yeah, and they combined them
and then Captain Planet came out.
R: Yeah. (singing) Captain Planet...
TMD: How does the rest of that theme
R: (singing) He's our hero. He can...I
don't know, I don't remember. Take some-
thing down to zero.
TMD: Yeah, kind of. Who is the cooler
detective: Sherlock Holmes, or the Mys-
tery Inc. gang from Scooby Doo?
R: Sherlock Holmes.
TMD: Elementary, my dear Skylar.
What was the worst career move: Screech
becoming a stand up comic or Jessie
Spano starring in "Showgirls?"
R: Uh, Jessie ... whatever his name is
... In "Showgirls."
TMD: Um, Jessie's a girl.
R: Oh, right, the girl! She's terrible.
She's the worst actress ever. I was thinking
of Slater. ... How old are you?
TMD: How old am I? I'm 38.
TMD: Oh, that's a lie. I'm sorry. I'm
R: Oh, that's young.
TMD: Yeah, I skipped a few grades.
I'm like Doogie Howser. Do you think
Mary Sue Coleman really lives on that
house on South U?
R: I don't think so. I never see anybody
TMD: Yeah, you never see her like
pulling into the driveway and carrying out
a bag of groceries and knocking on the
front door. What do you think that house
is used for?
R: I think it's like a secret frat.
TMD: Fair enough. What was your
favorite toy when you were a kid? Did you
have a Skip-It?
R: No, but my friend did. I liked those.
TMD: Did anyone ever realize how
dumb you look while doing the Skip-It?
R: Hahaha, you look dumb?
TMD: Yeah. You're hopping around
on one foot and you're trying to sing the
theme song and you don't know the words
R: Yeah, I didn't have any of those fun
TMD: You didn't even have Mall Mad-
R: Nope, I didn't. I had that game where
you pick that card for like your boyfriend
and then it makes noise.
TMD: Is that the one with the phone
when you dial and then the guy is like
"Hey, hot stuff. I'll go out with you!"
TMD: You had that game? That was
a sweet game. What body part would you
rather have: John Kerry's chin or Michael
R: Ewww. John Kerry's chin, I guess.
TMD: But Kerry's got that big chin.
You could like park a car on it.
R: I wouldn't want either!
TMD: Yeah, because then you'd be one
goofy-looking person. What's a better ode
to fruit: "Peaches and Cream" or "Straw-
berry Fields Forever?"
R: "Peaches and Cream."
TMD: Yeah. It's a good fruit. Peaches
and cream is good. Or rather, are good.
Thanks a lot for doing this.
R: All right, thanks.
TMD: Have a good night.
table of I contents
2B sThe Random
An Open Letter
to People Who
Won't Shut Up
About My Hickey
Ann Arbor - City
of Many Cultures
The Daily Arts
The Rant: iPods are
so not awesome
0 Jason Roberts:
My Life As a
The Dandelion Writer
goe A h4 A Ziia
By Ruby Robinson
Daily Arts Writer
The Michigan Daily-
Rec Sports installs climbir
All you acrophobics can now
rejoice, thanks to the University's
Department of Rec Sports. Your
lifelong fear of heights can be
quelled with a little help from Out-
door Adventures' newly installed
indoor climbing wall, located in
the Intramural Sports Building.
With routes ranging from begin-
ner to advanced, the wall, known
as "M Rock Beta," challenges stu-
dents and faculty regardless of pre-
vious climbing ability. 'Beta' does
not refer to the program as a test;
rather, "It's a form of rock climb-
ing lingo that implies a cool route,"
said Jeannette Stawski, director of
the wall and Outdoor Adventures.
When Stawski joined Rec Sports
as the director of Outdoor Adven-
tures five years ago, she was sur-
prised that the University did not
have a climbing wall, a feature
almost standard at large universi-
ties across the country. "I wrote
a proposal for an indoor climb-
ing wall and the benefits it offers
students," Stawski recollected.
Her proposal has finally become a
reality. In fact, the entire Outdoor
Adventures program was totally
revamped over the summer, with
changes that include the relocation
of their cramped office from the
North Campus Recreation Build-
ing to spacious Elbel Field.
Twenty feet high, M Rock spans
a surface area of 2,000 square feet
of usable climbing space, complete
with artificial cracks and several
overhangs covered in a variety of
multicolored rock holds. Climb-
ing wall enthusiast and LSA senior
Sam Brown, added, "the (climb-
ing) routes are constantly updated"
in order to challenge participants
of all skill levels.
Climbing is an aerobic activity
that stresses not only the climber's
physical strength and endurance,
but balance and decision-making
skills as well. "One of the goals of
the program is to establish a posi-
tive community hangout for climb-
ers of all ages and skill levels," said
Stawski. The wall is not limited to
individual students. It's perfect
for groups as well. "Varsity sports
teams, fraternities and sororities,
clubs and even Girl Scouts are
ideal groups that could rent out the
facility," Stawski explained.
Students interested in climbing
need their MCard and, for their
first climb, $1 for the 'Try-A-
Climb' special offer. Otherwise,
participants must purchase a daily
pass. "The wall is a pay-as-you-go
type of program," noted Stawski,
"different from the weight room,
which is covered by (your) tuition
fees, but very similar to any intra-
mural or club sport."
Climbers prepare for their ascent up the wall by securing their harnesses
The top-rope style of climbing
at M Rock eases novices into the
sport while challenging the expert.
The wall even features bouldering
routes for those interested in mov-
.ing horizontally, rather than verti-
cally, across the 100 foot expanse.
Besides the small fee, all climb-
ers must pass a certification course
in which they learn how to belay -
a method of climbing that ensures
personal safety via the help of
partner. Advanced climbers c
skip the course and take a qui
belay test instead.
Additionally, climbers must pi
vide their own gear (harness, ca
biner and ATC) or rent gear fro
M Rock for a fee. Personal ge
however, is subject to inspecti
from the climbing wall speci
ists. While climbing shoes are n
Leader of crazy-folk band Frog Eyes talks abo
Writers: Chris Gaerig, Puja Kumar,
Emily Liu, Evan McGarvey, Ruby
Robinson, K.K. Schmier, Doug
Wernert, Alex Wolsky
Photo Editors: Elise Bergman,
Tony Ding, Ryan Weiner
Photographers: Forest Casey,
Christine Stafford, David Tuman
Cover Art: Jason Cooper
Arts Editors: Jason Roberts,
Adam Rottenberg, Alex Wolsky,
Editor in Chief: Jordan Schrader
By Alexandra Jones
Daily Weekend Editor
Carey Mercer is the mind behind Frog
Eyes, a noisy-yet-melodic band from Brit-
ish Columbia. Frog Eyes's new album The
Folded Palm, as well as Ego Scriptor, Car-
ey's solo album, were just released. Frog
Eyes play the Detroit Arts Space on Sunday.
The Michigan Daily: Working with
Frog Eyes, as Blackout Beach, rerecording
songs for Ego Scriptor and touring sounds
pretty busy. What do you do in between all
Carey Mercer: Have a few drinks,
French my wife , read a few books, lie on
my couch and moan, play with my dog Suki.
My wife has shown me the beauty of the
TM: What are the rewards and draw-
backs of working with Frog Eyes as opposed
CM: There are no drawbacks to work-
ing with the band. With respect to the solo
record, I just wanted to make a record where
the parts were not syncopated with each
other. The easiest approach seemed to be
multi-tracking. The rewards of the band are
felt in the performance, at times vast and
TMD: What are some of your favorite
literary works and why? What's the relation-
ship between what you read and the music
and other art you create?
CM: The relationship is strong, though
not stronger than the feeling of strangeness
when-I walk to thestore, if you know what I-
mean. The great works in my canon seem to
verify the occasional feeling of falling apart,
which is a central element in the songs. The
sky is falling.
TMD: How was creating The Folded
Palm different from the process you went
through making The Golden River?
CM: I had a lot more studio time to create
The Folded Palm, and Iam not sure whether
or not this is positive. There are, I think, more
ideas on this record.
TMD: Describe your ideas about the
Midwest in 100 words or less.
CM: At Madison the world becomes less
frontier and more mercenary, and yet at the
same time one feels a sense of elegance in
spite ofthe Robocop waterfronts and blasted
TMD: What was it like rerecording your
older work for Ego Scriptor? How is your
musicmaking different now than it was
when you wrote the songs originally? What
were the challenges and rewards of complet-
ing this project?
CM: The rewards of Ego Scriptor are felt
in The Folded Palm. I was really lost in the
new record; I had no idea of its merit. The
acoustic record allowed me to successfully
(in my opinion) go through the process of
completing a record, reminding myself of
the various rituals and acts that I endure in
order to complete such a thing.
TMD: Since the title Ego Scriptor means
"I Am the Writer," that seems to imply a
preference for words over music. How do
you view the relationship between lyrics and
CM: Actually, the title is sort of sarcastic.
My position is, by default, one of pompos-
ity and arrogance. Naming my "solo record"
(the first signal of pomposity) after Ezra
Pound's self-indentifier in the cantos and
using the Latin seemed to me to acknowl-
edge what a piece of shit I am.
TMD: What's the relationship between
your paintings and your music? What are
some of your favorite subjects to paint?
CM: Relationships, relationships. Every-
thing has a relation to something else. It is
just a matter of angles and inferences.
TMD: How many instruments do you
play? Which would you like to learn and
CM: I can make a reasonable sound
of a guitar, and a less reasonable noise
of a piano. Occasionally I play the dru
I wish I owned a xylophone or some si
Courtesy ofAbsolutely Kosner
Mercer, top left, acts nutty
in a promo-photo.