. .r 0 9 9 2B - The Michigan Daily - Thursday, September 23, 2004 Random links Gary to Mary Sue By Doug Wornort Daily TV/New Media Editor The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Lauren there? Random: I think you have the wrong number. TMD: Oh, I'm sorry. Who's this? R: This is Skylar. TMD: Hi Skylar, I'm calling from The Michigan Daily and you've been selected to do this week's Random Student Inter- view. R: Me? TMD: Yeah, you. Can you believe it? R: But, weren't you looking for some- body else? TMD: Oh, it doesn't matter. We can call anybody. That's the whole point of the interview. Totally random. R: Um, ok. TMD: Yeah, do you got a few min- utes? R: Ok. TMD: All right, cool. First question: Let's say I had a crush on a girl. What approach would be better in going about asking her out: a friendship bracelet or giv- ing her a sticker that has the letters "IYQ" on it. R: Um, probably a friendship bracelet? TMD: But that would give away the aura of friendship. R: I mean ... I'm a girl and I'm not really attracted to girls, so I guess I really don't know. TMD: What if I asked her out via Etch- a-Sketch, writing "Will you go out with me?" on an Etch-a-Sketch and giving it to her? R: I don't think she'd like that very much. TMD: Why not? R: Because that's really immature. Why don't you just ask her out? TMD: Yeah, but that's no fun. Do you think that would work? R: Yeah. Who is this? TMD: Oh, no wonder I'm single. Next question: Do you consider it a tragedy that Christopher Columbus had a national holi- day named after him and all Julius Caesar got was a casino, a pizza franchise and a salad named after him? R: Yes, that is tragic. TMD: What do you think Caesar should have gotten instead of all that? Don't you think we should get a day off of school in honor of Caesar? R: YeslI agree. TMD: Yeah, what did Columbus do? R: Nothing. Discovered something that was already there. TMD: Who's your favorite explorer? What about my boy Bartholomew Dias? You don't like him? R: I guess ...what is this interviewing for?? TMD: This is the Random Student Interview, Skylar. This is how it works. So Bartholomew Dias: cool or not cool? R: Cool. TMD: Exactly. What's better: Grand- ma Schubert's meatloaf or Granny Smith apples? R: Granny Smith's apples. TMD: What about Grandma Schubert? R: I don't like meatloaf. TMD:Doyou think Grandma Schubert was a real person? R: No! TMD: Then how did they get the name for the meatloaf? R: They made it up. TMD: I don't think they would go that low to name a meatloaf. Do you think that Gary Coleman and Mary Sue Coleman are long-lost siblings? R: Haha, yes. TMD: So they're brother and sister? R: Yes. TMD: Wouldn't it be cool if one night Gary Coleman came over to Mary Sue's house and was like "What's up, sis?" and Mary Sue would be like "What you talk- ing about, Gary?" R: Yeah, that would be really cool. TMD: Don't you think Mary Sue would freak out? R: Yeah. Hmmm... TMD: If Superman fought Batman, who would win? R: Probably Superman. TMD: But Batman's got all the cool stuff. R: Yeah, but Superman is like the stron- gest guy in the world. TMD: I thought that was the Incredible Hulk. R: I don't think so. TMD: So do you think the Incredible Hulk could bench more than Superman? R: I don't know. Superman's pretty strong. TMD: Yeah, he is more powerful than a locomotive. What if the Invisible Man fought the Human Torch? Who would win that one? R: Hold on a second (puts phone on hold). TMD: She put me on hold! R: Ok. U.....the human torch. TMD: Why? You can't see the Invis- ible Man, so how can you defeat him? R: I don't know, if he just flailed every- where. TMD: And set everything on fire? R: Yeah.! Hahaha. TMD: Ok, I don't really buy that. The Invisible Man would totally win. R: Haha, what's your name? TMD: My name is The Michigan Daily. R: No, it's not! TMD: Yes, it is! Do you think the Plan- eteer who provided heart was the most useless of the Planeteers? R: Yeah, probably. Wait, the Planeteers were the people that had those rings, right? TMD: Yeah, and they combined them and then Captain Planet came out. R: Yeah. (singing) Captain Planet... TMD: How does the rest of that theme song go? R: (singing) He's our hero. He can...I don't know, I don't remember. Take some- thing down to zero. TMD: Yeah, kind of. Who is the cooler detective: Sherlock Holmes, or the Mys- tery Inc. gang from Scooby Doo? R: Sherlock Holmes. TMD: Elementary, my dear Skylar. What was the worst career move: Screech becoming a stand up comic or Jessie Spano starring in "Showgirls?" R: Uh, Jessie ... whatever his name is ... In "Showgirls." TMD: Um, Jessie's a girl. R: Oh, right, the girl! She's terrible. She's the worst actress ever. I was thinking of Slater. ... How old are you? TMD: How old am I? I'm 38. R: Ugh. TMD: Oh, that's a lie. I'm sorry. I'm 17. R: Oh, that's young. TMD: Yeah, I skipped a few grades. I'm like Doogie Howser. Do you think Mary Sue Coleman really lives on that house on South U? R: I don't think so. I never see anybody in there. TMD: Yeah, you never see her like pulling into the driveway and carrying out a bag of groceries and knocking on the front door. What do you think that house is used for? R: I think it's like a secret frat. TMD: Fair enough. What was your favorite toy when you were a kid? Did you have a Skip-It? R: No, but my friend did. I liked those. TMD: Did anyone ever realize how dumb you look while doing the Skip-It? R: Hahaha, you look dumb? TMD: Yeah. You're hopping around on one foot and you're trying to sing the theme song and you don't know the words R: Yeah, I didn't have any of those fun toys. TMD: You didn't even have Mall Mad- ness? R: Nope, I didn't. I had that game where you pick that card for like your boyfriend and then it makes noise. TMD: Is that the one with the phone when you dial and then the guy is like "Hey, hot stuff. I'll go out with you!" R: Yeah! TMD: You had that game? That was a sweet game. What body part would you rather have: John Kerry's chin or Michael Jackson's nose? R: Ewww. John Kerry's chin, I guess. TMD: But Kerry's got that big chin. You could like park a car on it. R: I wouldn't want either! TMD: Yeah, because then you'd be one goofy-looking person. What's a better ode to fruit: "Peaches and Cream" or "Straw- berry Fields Forever?" R: "Peaches and Cream." TMD: Yeah. It's a good fruit. Peaches and cream is good. Or rather, are good. Thanks a lot for doing this. R: All right, thanks. TMD: Have a good night. table of I contents 2B sThe Random Student Interview Alexandra Jones: An Open Letter to People Who Won't Shut Up About My Hickey 4B Profile: Tom Goss, Harmonica guy Dan Mullkoff: Suffixgate Ann Arbor - City of Many Cultures The Daily Arts Mix Tape The Rant: iPods are so not awesome This Week in Crunk 0 Jason Roberts: My Life As a Videogame University installs climbing wall Short Fiction: The Dandelion Writer goe A h4 A Ziia MAGAZINE By Ruby Robinson Daily Arts Writer The Michigan Daily- Rec Sports installs climbir All you acrophobics can now rejoice, thanks to the University's Department of Rec Sports. Your lifelong fear of heights can be quelled with a little help from Out- door Adventures' newly installed indoor climbing wall, located in the Intramural Sports Building. With routes ranging from begin- ner to advanced, the wall, known as "M Rock Beta," challenges stu- dents and faculty regardless of pre- vious climbing ability. 'Beta' does not refer to the program as a test; rather, "It's a form of rock climb- ing lingo that implies a cool route," said Jeannette Stawski, director of the wall and Outdoor Adventures. When Stawski joined Rec Sports as the director of Outdoor Adven- tures five years ago, she was sur- prised that the University did not have a climbing wall, a feature almost standard at large universi- ties across the country. "I wrote a proposal for an indoor climb- ing wall and the benefits it offers students," Stawski recollected. Her proposal has finally become a reality. In fact, the entire Outdoor Adventures program was totally revamped over the summer, with changes that include the relocation of their cramped office from the North Campus Recreation Build- ing to spacious Elbel Field. Twenty feet high, M Rock spans a surface area of 2,000 square feet of usable climbing space, complete with artificial cracks and several overhangs covered in a variety of multicolored rock holds. Climb- ing wall enthusiast and LSA senior Sam Brown, added, "the (climb- ing) routes are constantly updated" in order to challenge participants of all skill levels. Climbing is an aerobic activity that stresses not only the climber's physical strength and endurance, but balance and decision-making skills as well. "One of the goals of the program is to establish a posi- tive community hangout for climb- ers of all ages and skill levels," said Stawski. The wall is not limited to individual students. It's perfect for groups as well. "Varsity sports teams, fraternities and sororities, clubs and even Girl Scouts are ideal groups that could rent out the facility," Stawski explained. Students interested in climbing need their MCard and, for their first climb, $1 for the 'Try-A- Climb' special offer. Otherwise, participants must purchase a daily pass. "The wall is a pay-as-you-go type of program," noted Stawski, "different from the weight room, which is covered by (your) tuition fees, but very similar to any intra- mural or club sport." Climbers prepare for their ascent up the wall by securing their harnesses The top-rope style of climbing at M Rock eases novices into the sport while challenging the expert. The wall even features bouldering routes for those interested in mov- .ing horizontally, rather than verti- cally, across the 100 foot expanse. Besides the small fee, all climb- ers must pass a certification course in which they learn how to belay - a method of climbing that ensures personal safety via the help of partner. Advanced climbers c skip the course and take a qui belay test instead. Additionally, climbers must pi vide their own gear (harness, ca biner and ATC) or rent gear fro M Rock for a fee. Personal ge however, is subject to inspecti from the climbing wall speci ists. While climbing shoes are n Leader of crazy-folk band Frog Eyes talks abo Writers: Chris Gaerig, Puja Kumar, Emily Liu, Evan McGarvey, Ruby Robinson, K.K. Schmier, Doug Wernert, Alex Wolsky Photo Editors: Elise Bergman, Tony Ding, Ryan Weiner Photographers: Forest Casey, Christine Stafford, David Tuman Cover Art: Jason Cooper Arts Editors: Jason Roberts, Managing Editor Adam Rottenberg, Alex Wolsky, Editors Editor in Chief: Jordan Schrader By Alexandra Jones Daily Weekend Editor Carey Mercer is the mind behind Frog Eyes, a noisy-yet-melodic band from Brit- ish Columbia. Frog Eyes's new album The Folded Palm, as well as Ego Scriptor, Car- ey's solo album, were just released. Frog Eyes play the Detroit Arts Space on Sunday. The Michigan Daily: Working with Frog Eyes, as Blackout Beach, rerecording songs for Ego Scriptor and touring sounds pretty busy. What do you do in between all that activity? Carey Mercer: Have a few drinks, French my wife , read a few books, lie on my couch and moan, play with my dog Suki. My wife has shown me the beauty of the little creatures. TM: What are the rewards and draw- backs of working with Frog Eyes as opposed to solo? CM: There are no drawbacks to work- ing with the band. With respect to the solo record, I just wanted to make a record where the parts were not syncopated with each other. The easiest approach seemed to be multi-tracking. The rewards of the band are felt in the performance, at times vast and immeasurable. TMD: What are some of your favorite literary works and why? What's the relation- ship between what you read and the music and other art you create? CM: The relationship is strong, though not stronger than the feeling of strangeness when-I walk to thestore, if you know what I- mean. The great works in my canon seem to verify the occasional feeling of falling apart, which is a central element in the songs. The sky is falling. TMD: How was creating The Folded Palm different from the process you went through making The Golden River? CM: I had a lot more studio time to create The Folded Palm, and Iam not sure whether or not this is positive. There are, I think, more ideas on this record. TMD: Describe your ideas about the Midwest in 100 words or less. CM: At Madison the world becomes less frontier and more mercenary, and yet at the same time one feels a sense of elegance in spite ofthe Robocop waterfronts and blasted landscapes. TMD: What was it like rerecording your older work for Ego Scriptor? How is your musicmaking different now than it was when you wrote the songs originally? What were the challenges and rewards of complet- ing this project? CM: The rewards of Ego Scriptor are felt in The Folded Palm. I was really lost in the new record; I had no idea of its merit. The acoustic record allowed me to successfully (in my opinion) go through the process of completing a record, reminding myself of the various rituals and acts that I endure in order to complete such a thing. TMD: Since the title Ego Scriptor means "I Am the Writer," that seems to imply a preference for words over music. How do you view the relationship between lyrics and music? CM: Actually, the title is sort of sarcastic. My position is, by default, one of pompos- ity and arrogance. Naming my "solo record" (the first signal of pomposity) after Ezra Pound's self-indentifier in the cantos and using the Latin seemed to me to acknowl- edge what a piece of shit I am. TMD: What's the relationship between your paintings and your music? What are some of your favorite subjects to paint? CM: Relationships, relationships. Every- thing has a relation to something else. It is just a matter of angles and inferences. TMD: How many instruments do you play? Which would you like to learn and why? CM: I can make a reasonable sound of a guitar, and a less reasonable noise of a piano. Occasionally I play the dru I wish I owned a xylophone or some si Courtesy ofAbsolutely Kosner Mercer, top left, acts nutty in a promo-photo.