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January 15, 2004 - Image 15

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The Michigan Daily, 2004-01-15

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8B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, January 15, 2004

REBECCA RAMSEY - COMPROMISING POSITION

The Michigan Daily - Weekend MaJ
Jazz legend Evans reworks Hendrua

FAKING THE 0: IF YOU DO IT, YOU WON'T COME

W elcome to my sex column -
feel free to make yourself
comfortable, take your shoes
off (a must in any hookup situation!),
slip into something more comfortable
and navigate yourself to a secluded
place to read about carnal issues. First,
allow me to introduce myself: My
name is Rebecca, and while I am not a
sex know-it-all, I love to talk about the
subject. There, now you know me and
we can get started already...
Back when I read Cosmopolitan and
thought of it as a holy scripture (now,

it is acceptable for a fun horoscope or a
cleavage-enhancing tip every now and
then), I would read about women who
magically, as if by chance, had reached
orgasm just from doing "everyday"
tasks - traveling by bus while wearing
tight jeans, riding horses, even hopping
fences. Having read such miraculous
testimonials, I'll honestly tell you that I
had high hopes and tried to make the
most out of my experience of living on
North Campus freshman year. Sadly,
the multiple bus rides to Central
Campus had failed to give me multiple

r I

125th urns season

04

anythings, let alone an orgasm.
I know, I know. It's been said all too
many times before - women are much
more difficult to please than men are,
sexually speaking. The female body is
unfairly designed a bit more intricately,
as we do not have a sensitive
appendage hanging between our legs.
Such basic anatomical knowledge is
nothing new to humankind, but so few
women are willing to confront it head
on, pun intended.
Furthermore, partner communica-
tion rarely extends itself to covering the
topic of mutual satisfaction. We are all
too often afraid to tell our partners
what feels good, what successfully
works or how we really like to be
pleased. Lying there stiff as a board and
silent is also not an option. Thus, fak-
ing an orgasm has become an integral
part of our coital vocabulary.
Without her feigned orgasm in
"When Harry Met Sally," Meg Ryan
would not have immediately reached
iconic status. And without her moaning
performance, men everywhere would-
n't have started worrying about their
abilities in the bedroom. As a result of
this film, both men and women became
aware that sex can lead to insecurities
and disappointments aplenty.
I think it is probably safe to say that,
when following a disappointing ren-
dezvous, there is no question more
uncomfortable to hear than "Did that
feel good for you?" Although inside
you may scream, "NO! It didn't feel
good; wasn't even close," you don't
want to hurt the poor guy's feelings and
make him feel like an inadequate part-
ner. So you grin and bear it all instead.

To throw in a few forced ooh's, AHH's
and "right there's" is to successfully
avoid confrontation, as long as you
don't mind being subjected to unsatis-
factory sex.
A friend of mine claims that her man
stubbornly doesn't believe that females
cannot have an orgasm during sex; that
for women, climaxing is almost
inevitable. Unlike many other females,
my friend openly attacks him on his
indignant thinking and she has to lec-
ture him in the bedroom. Amazingly,
he sticks firmly to his beliefs and refus-
es to believe otherwise. Sadly, he may
have been the recipient of a false cli-
max on many an occasion and is sim-
ply living in denial, or self-indulgence.
Girls fake it all the time, and that's that.
As a personal rule, I advise against
faking orgasms; you are just wasting
time and breath that could be better spent,
sleeping. Girls, when you pretend to
come, you put yourself in a binding situ-
ation. Basically, if you do it, you will be
expected to come ... each and every
time you get it on. What's worse, you
will probably be so focused on your the-
atrics that your body will be too distract-
ed to give in to even having an orgasm at
all. That, to me, is a crying shame. The
only thing you will be getting is a partner
who thinks he is a sex machine and who
expects to gratify you with every lack-
luster thrust. You will also have to live
with yourself as a liar.
Girls may also feel obligated to
come as a way to display themselves as
good lovers, and maybe they want to
show their lovers that they are capable
of being sexually pleased. I hate to
break it to male readers who think they

know surefire ways to get a girl off, but
many girls can please themselves more
easily on their own than with a guy's
assistance. Whether with their own
hands, vibrators, heck, even the show-
er, I know many girls who have had to
give themselves their very first orgasm
because they couldn't climax with their
partners.
Howeverjust because you don't come
at all doesn't mean the sex isn't at all
good. Sex can elicit good moans and
feelings no matter how intense. Just
being with someone you care about can
be gratifying enough. And sometimes,
you just want to make sure that both you
and your partner are having a good time.
One of my housemates admits to faking
orgasms because her guys says he "likes
to hear her scream," and she is pleased
knowing that she has satisfied him.
But instead of practicing to be the
next Meryl Streep, lose the (vagina)
monologue and don't be afraid to tell
your partner what you prefer. Chances
are, he will overcome any initial feel-
ings of inadequacy and eventually
appreciate your openness and his new-
found ability to make you quiver. Open
bedroom communication will not only
relieve you from awkward situations,
but it will also allow your relations to
progress to more pleasurable and excit-
ing levels. But if you are too shy to
speak up, take a ride on the bus. I've
just given up my seat.
-Rebecca hopes her parents aren't
reading this column. However
she welcomes comments from
her adoring fans. Contact
her at ramseyr@umich.edu.

By Andrew Horowitz
Daily Arts Writer
Few musicians have been as influ-
ential as Jimi Hendrix. By his
untimely death in 1970, Hendrix was
a star, lauded by fans and musicians
alike. Under his belt were three
superb albums that demonstrated
songwriting and virtuosity beyond
his years. He'd single-handedly revo-
lutionized the electric guitar with a
gritty sound that
combined both
electronic ingenu-
ity and guitar vir-
tuosity. He was a
social revolution-
ary, a generational
hero, an innovator
among thieves.
Hendrix had it all, and his drug-
induced death at 27 was a reality few
could fathom. There was too much
left unheard, and so much territory
still to be explored.
In the months preceding his death,
Hendrix had begun work on the ten-
tatively titled First Ray of the New
Rising Sun. There was talk that Hen-
drix was delving deeper into the

blues. Some disagreed and said he'd
continue exactly where he'd left off.
And still others argued that Hendrix
had lost his direction entirely. But
perhaps the most substantiated of all
claims is in a little-known collabora-
tion that never occurred, one that was
meant to pair two giants: Hendrix
and jazz arranger/composer Gil
Evans.
Gil Evans had been making a
name for himself since the mid-
1930s. In addition
to several success-
ful albums as a
From bandleader, Evans
Vault had collaborated
with some of the
biggest names in
jazz, including
singer Astrud
Gilberto and trumpeter Miles Davis.
With his uncanny ear for orchestra-
tion, Evans could effortlessly extend
the intimacy of a Davis or the Brazil-
ian charm of a Gilberto. If anyone
could supplement the electricity and
exuberance of Hendrix, it was Gil
Evans.
With the help of Miles, Gil found
himself in a position to work with
Hendrix. Hendrix and Miles had
developed a close musical relation-
ship, and in Hendrix's final studio
days, Miles had become a constant
presence. He served as a matchmaker
of sorts, and told Hendrix of Evans's
affinity for his music. Miles and
Hendrix's de facto manager/engineer
Alan Douglas insisted on a meeting
between Hendrix and Evans. Days
before leaving for a final European
tour, convinced by Evans's music and
his confidants, Hendrix agreed to a
collaboration.
While Hendrix toured, Evans and
Douglas began meeting to discuss
repertory. No decisions, however,
were to be made until Hendrix
returned at the end of September.
Unfortunately, Hendrix never
returned. On September 18, 1970, a
week before the meeting was sched-
uled to take place, Hendrix died.
All was not lost, however. Evans,

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Sat 1/17 8:30 pm
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although he no longer had a collabo-
rator in Hendrix, was determined to
work with his music. Nearly four
years later, Evans appeared in
Carnegie Hall with an all-star assem-
blage of musicians paying tribute to
Hendrix. The project materialized into
a recording, The Gil Evans Orchestra
Plays the Music of Jimi Hendrix, and
within the last few years a CD re-
release has become available.
Although it's impossible to incur what
this session could have been with
Hendrix, the recordings give insight
into the mind of Evans and what
might have happened were Hendrix to
have lived.
Evans's 19-piece band, consisting
of two French horns, tuba, three gui-
tars, two basses, two percussionists,
and an array of horn players, create
an improvisational array of sounds
that range from melodic beauty to
total cacophony. The large majority
of these tracks are in some way ori-

ented with the blues. From the ft
of "Crosstown Traffic" to t
vamped tuba-led dissonance
"Voodoo Chile," the group explo
the blues at its simplest and m
complex. The arrangements, suppl
by both Evans and his bandmat
are strikingly coherent. This cons
tency is a reflection of Evans's w
ingness to allow the musicians
breathe and explore the ensembl
sonic possibilities.
The music of Hendrix wot
remain a staple of Evans's reperto
until his death in 1988, at the a
of 75. Although an Evans/Hend
collaboration never materialized, 1
world is fortunate to have tI
recording. From saxophonist Da'
Sanborn's passionate lyricism on 1
album opener "Angel" to the de
cate melancholy of "Little Wind
The Gil Evans... is a treasure, p:
longing the spirit of Hendrix a
taking us into the mind of Evans.

Orchestre R6volutionnaire
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The Monteverdi Choir
John Eliot Gardiner conductor
Sun 1/18 6 pm
Hill Auditorium

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