w w v v w w -a 9 S S 8B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, January 15, 2004 REBECCA RAMSEY - COMPROMISING POSITION The Michigan Daily - Weekend MaJ Jazz legend Evans reworks Hendrua FAKING THE 0: IF YOU DO IT, YOU WON'T COME W elcome to my sex column - feel free to make yourself comfortable, take your shoes off (a must in any hookup situation!), slip into something more comfortable and navigate yourself to a secluded place to read about carnal issues. First, allow me to introduce myself: My name is Rebecca, and while I am not a sex know-it-all, I love to talk about the subject. There, now you know me and we can get started already... Back when I read Cosmopolitan and thought of it as a holy scripture (now, it is acceptable for a fun horoscope or a cleavage-enhancing tip every now and then), I would read about women who magically, as if by chance, had reached orgasm just from doing "everyday" tasks - traveling by bus while wearing tight jeans, riding horses, even hopping fences. Having read such miraculous testimonials, I'll honestly tell you that I had high hopes and tried to make the most out of my experience of living on North Campus freshman year. Sadly, the multiple bus rides to Central Campus had failed to give me multiple r I 125th urns season 04 anythings, let alone an orgasm. I know, I know. It's been said all too many times before - women are much more difficult to please than men are, sexually speaking. The female body is unfairly designed a bit more intricately, as we do not have a sensitive appendage hanging between our legs. Such basic anatomical knowledge is nothing new to humankind, but so few women are willing to confront it head on, pun intended. Furthermore, partner communica- tion rarely extends itself to covering the topic of mutual satisfaction. We are all too often afraid to tell our partners what feels good, what successfully works or how we really like to be pleased. Lying there stiff as a board and silent is also not an option. Thus, fak- ing an orgasm has become an integral part of our coital vocabulary. Without her feigned orgasm in "When Harry Met Sally," Meg Ryan would not have immediately reached iconic status. And without her moaning performance, men everywhere would- n't have started worrying about their abilities in the bedroom. As a result of this film, both men and women became aware that sex can lead to insecurities and disappointments aplenty. I think it is probably safe to say that, when following a disappointing ren- dezvous, there is no question more uncomfortable to hear than "Did that feel good for you?" Although inside you may scream, "NO! It didn't feel good; wasn't even close," you don't want to hurt the poor guy's feelings and make him feel like an inadequate part- ner. So you grin and bear it all instead. To throw in a few forced ooh's, AHH's and "right there's" is to successfully avoid confrontation, as long as you don't mind being subjected to unsatis- factory sex. A friend of mine claims that her man stubbornly doesn't believe that females cannot have an orgasm during sex; that for women, climaxing is almost inevitable. Unlike many other females, my friend openly attacks him on his indignant thinking and she has to lec- ture him in the bedroom. Amazingly, he sticks firmly to his beliefs and refus- es to believe otherwise. Sadly, he may have been the recipient of a false cli- max on many an occasion and is sim- ply living in denial, or self-indulgence. Girls fake it all the time, and that's that. As a personal rule, I advise against faking orgasms; you are just wasting time and breath that could be better spent, sleeping. Girls, when you pretend to come, you put yourself in a binding situ- ation. Basically, if you do it, you will be expected to come ... each and every time you get it on. What's worse, you will probably be so focused on your the- atrics that your body will be too distract- ed to give in to even having an orgasm at all. That, to me, is a crying shame. The only thing you will be getting is a partner who thinks he is a sex machine and who expects to gratify you with every lack- luster thrust. You will also have to live with yourself as a liar. Girls may also feel obligated to come as a way to display themselves as good lovers, and maybe they want to show their lovers that they are capable of being sexually pleased. I hate to break it to male readers who think they know surefire ways to get a girl off, but many girls can please themselves more easily on their own than with a guy's assistance. Whether with their own hands, vibrators, heck, even the show- er, I know many girls who have had to give themselves their very first orgasm because they couldn't climax with their partners. Howeverjust because you don't come at all doesn't mean the sex isn't at all good. Sex can elicit good moans and feelings no matter how intense. Just being with someone you care about can be gratifying enough. And sometimes, you just want to make sure that both you and your partner are having a good time. One of my housemates admits to faking orgasms because her guys says he "likes to hear her scream," and she is pleased knowing that she has satisfied him. But instead of practicing to be the next Meryl Streep, lose the (vagina) monologue and don't be afraid to tell your partner what you prefer. Chances are, he will overcome any initial feel- ings of inadequacy and eventually appreciate your openness and his new- found ability to make you quiver. Open bedroom communication will not only relieve you from awkward situations, but it will also allow your relations to progress to more pleasurable and excit- ing levels. But if you are too shy to speak up, take a ride on the bus. I've just given up my seat. -Rebecca hopes her parents aren't reading this column. However she welcomes comments from her adoring fans. Contact her at ramseyr@umich.edu. By Andrew Horowitz Daily Arts Writer Few musicians have been as influ- ential as Jimi Hendrix. By his untimely death in 1970, Hendrix was a star, lauded by fans and musicians alike. Under his belt were three superb albums that demonstrated songwriting and virtuosity beyond his years. He'd single-handedly revo- lutionized the electric guitar with a gritty sound that combined both electronic ingenu- ity and guitar vir- tuosity. He was a social revolution- ary, a generational hero, an innovator among thieves. Hendrix had it all, and his drug- induced death at 27 was a reality few could fathom. There was too much left unheard, and so much territory still to be explored. In the months preceding his death, Hendrix had begun work on the ten- tatively titled First Ray of the New Rising Sun. There was talk that Hen- drix was delving deeper into the blues. Some disagreed and said he'd continue exactly where he'd left off. And still others argued that Hendrix had lost his direction entirely. But perhaps the most substantiated of all claims is in a little-known collabora- tion that never occurred, one that was meant to pair two giants: Hendrix and jazz arranger/composer Gil Evans. Gil Evans had been making a name for himself since the mid- 1930s. In addition to several success- ful albums as a From bandleader, Evans Vault had collaborated with some of the biggest names in jazz, including singer Astrud Gilberto and trumpeter Miles Davis. With his uncanny ear for orchestra- tion, Evans could effortlessly extend the intimacy of a Davis or the Brazil- ian charm of a Gilberto. If anyone could supplement the electricity and exuberance of Hendrix, it was Gil Evans. With the help of Miles, Gil found himself in a position to work with Hendrix. Hendrix and Miles had developed a close musical relation- ship, and in Hendrix's final studio days, Miles had become a constant presence. He served as a matchmaker of sorts, and told Hendrix of Evans's affinity for his music. Miles and Hendrix's de facto manager/engineer Alan Douglas insisted on a meeting between Hendrix and Evans. Days before leaving for a final European tour, convinced by Evans's music and his confidants, Hendrix agreed to a collaboration. While Hendrix toured, Evans and Douglas began meeting to discuss repertory. No decisions, however, were to be made until Hendrix returned at the end of September. Unfortunately, Hendrix never returned. On September 18, 1970, a week before the meeting was sched- uled to take place, Hendrix died. All was not lost, however. Evans, ,...;>: :: $10 R,4sh Tickets on sale 9 am-5 pm the day of the performance or the Friday before a weekend event at the UMS Ticket Office, located in the Michigan League. 50% Rush Tickets on sale beginning 90 minutes before the event at the performance hall Box Office. S W A ASS' "A' ., "5'. 'A55 ' : :: A'< Hill Auditorium Re-Opening Celebration! featuring David Daniels, Midori, Audra McDonald, Chanticleer, the UMS Choral Union and more... Sat 1/17 8:30 pm Hill Auditorium Sorry, Rush Tickets Not Available for this Concert. although he no longer had a collabo- rator in Hendrix, was determined to work with his music. Nearly four years later, Evans appeared in Carnegie Hall with an all-star assem- blage of musicians paying tribute to Hendrix. The project materialized into a recording, The Gil Evans Orchestra Plays the Music of Jimi Hendrix, and within the last few years a CD re- release has become available. Although it's impossible to incur what this session could have been with Hendrix, the recordings give insight into the mind of Evans and what might have happened were Hendrix to have lived. Evans's 19-piece band, consisting of two French horns, tuba, three gui- tars, two basses, two percussionists, and an array of horn players, create an improvisational array of sounds that range from melodic beauty to total cacophony. The large majority of these tracks are in some way ori- ented with the blues. From the ft of "Crosstown Traffic" to t vamped tuba-led dissonance "Voodoo Chile," the group explo the blues at its simplest and m complex. The arrangements, suppl by both Evans and his bandmat are strikingly coherent. This cons tency is a reflection of Evans's w ingness to allow the musicians breathe and explore the ensembl sonic possibilities. The music of Hendrix wot remain a staple of Evans's reperto until his death in 1988, at the a of 75. Although an Evans/Hend collaboration never materialized, 1 world is fortunate to have tI recording. From saxophonist Da' Sanborn's passionate lyricism on 1 album opener "Angel" to the de cate melancholy of "Little Wind The Gil Evans... is a treasure, p: longing the spirit of Hendrix a taking us into the mind of Evans. Orchestre R6volutionnaire et Romantique The Monteverdi Choir John Eliot Gardiner conductor Sun 1/18 6 pm Hill Auditorium Your Spring Break N C Headquarters gs, WE HAVE SOME NEW WEEKEND DRINK SPECIALS WE THINK YOU'RE GONNA LIKE FRIDAY ANN ARBOR'S LONGEST HAPPY HOURI S0r With Featured Mug Drinks s ns On Sale Along With The W .ANNAtBOFRTAN1S.COM Pint- Bottle special of the week E1747 Plymouth Rd., ;~Ann Arbor 994-088Saturdays 994-908 627 South Main St. Ann Arbor 213-2279. 533 E. Michigan Ave., 4Boor AliZ4 429-"5635 No Cover! 25 Taps! Full Menu! 310 MAYNAR- 995.0100 218&YV WITHPR ER1 Jazz Divas Summit Dee Dee Bridgewater, Regina Carter, and Dianne Reeves Mon 1/19 7:30 pm Hill Auditorium 1! \\ vt.;rpI 764-2538 1www.ums.org ULMI S A valid college ID is required. Limit two tickets per student, per event. Rush tickets are not offered if an event is sold out.