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4B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, March 11, 2004
REBECCA RAMSEY - A COMPROMISINGOS
The Michigan Daily - Weeend boaMag
HELP WANTED: THE PROBLEM WITH SUI
WAXING POETIC: TAMING THE LOVE BELOW
In terms of cosmetics, perfumes
and carbs, less is more.
However, some would beg to
differ. Regardless of your political
affiliations, a number of magazines
are currently publicizing a cam-
paign of another variety. Recent
issues of Cosmopolitan, Glamour
and GQ have all reported that the
"natural bush" will be back.
What?!
That's exactly what I asked
myself, especially when I thought
about how people here would react
to this trend. The student body may
fall victim to many a fad, but due to
things I have heard, along with my
own personal views, I cannot see
this predicted craze sweeping over
campus.
The coital-area coif is a topic that
does not garner much conversation,
perhaps because a lot of people still
laugh whenever they hear utterance
of one of the euphemisms for the
area below, but maybe it really isn't
that racy at all. The nether regions
are a part of everyone, and it's an
entirely personal decision whether or
not to don an "au natural" style or to
bare it all the Brazilian way. Still that
has not prevented us from hearing
everyone's opinionated expectations.
According to Glamour's sex tips
from men this month, men "don't
care whether you're waxed." This is
what I would like to think, since I
can imagine a girl uncomfortably
hiding in the dark to hide her
unkempt appearance is as annoying
as a guy worrying if size matters.
However, after consulting some
people here, I find conflicting
results. A few of my female friends
looked at me in horror when I told
them about this hair scare. I even
frightened away a lady in Starbucks
when she overheard me talking
about this issue (it could have been
because of the inappropriate geni-
talia humor, but who knows?)
When I spoke to a male friend
about the issue of pubic grooming,
he insisted "that guys think that any
hair is gross" and that when guys
talk to each other about their
hookup stories, they ask: "was she
shaved?" Well, well, well.
Pubic hair is a natural yet
unavoidable part of growing up.
Theories for its presence range from
it serving as a signifier that our bod-
ies are capable of reproducing and
for storing pheromones to attract
potential mates. That said, doesn't
that make you wonder why we even
get rid of it then?
We do it because it is aesthetical-
ly pleasing to us and simply because
it's just cleaner and more comfort-
able getting into a bikini when we're
groomed. Women should feel at
ease being women, and that is
regardless of your down-there hair
quotient. To get the record straight,
if you wax, you are not a porn star,
nor are you trying to look like a
nine-year-old (that's what I've
heard), and if you go as God made
you, you aren't dirty.
The pressure to be bare still
remains. It comes from magazine
ads, female peers and oftentimes,
from guys. I am reminded of the all-
too common story of a guy asking
his girlfriend to become bare for the
purpose of satisfying him. Hey, my
ex-boyfriend had a hairy back, and
even though it grossly resembled
Austin Powers' chest, I would not
make him wax just for me.
There certainly are more insulting
requests he could make, and while
we don't need to worry about those
now, just know that they are of larg-
er concerns pertaining to third par-
ties and areas a bit past the one here.
Clearing the private parts can
result in painful, unflattering and
expensive repercussions. Shaving,
is easy on the budget, but re-growth
is often accompanied by irritation
and shaving cannot be done daily
(and no one likes stubble). As for
waxing, the smoothness lasts weeks
longer than shaving and the hair
grows back finer, but it is a costly
method of upkeep. With that in
mind, think twice if you are curious
about hair removal.
To shave/wax/use depilatories
could add some sizzle to a relation-
ship,, as long as both parties agree,
but if a guy requests his partner go
bald, maybe he should too ... have
no fear, it will grow back!
My roommate affirms that if you
ask a guy to shave or wax for you,
you are sure to be a goner. Sad, but
maybe true. (She also jokes in all
seriousness that "I don't want no
scrubs, I like them so fresh and so
clean"). Ah, male grooming. My
male friend - you know, the one
who shudders at the sight of a hair
- also admitted that "every guy
trims ... a lot." Still, I'm not sure if
a trim qualifies as equal rights.
Either a guy has got to bare it all or
maybe we should just forget about
hair removal altogether. Hmm ... in
both cases, maybe not.
So, if men are out there groom-
ing, when are they doing it? "If a
guy is going out, he'll be more
inclined to tidy up down there. But
if there's no girl in the picture, he
probably won't give a s-t,"
remarked a guy whom I questioned.
Well, we care, but not because
grooming makes things easier to
find (although it is a perk). There
are more important things to think
about. Intimacy is fabulous, but if
you cannot enjoy it because you are
worried about the way you look, you
can't enjoy being yourself. What
this "natural bush" campaign boils
down to is that the political is per-
sonal and we should just stop beat-
ing around the ... you know.
- Rebecca would be more than happy
to explain the difference between the
illustrious Brazilian and the bikini, the
hot and the cold, the painful and the
excruciating. Contact her at
ramseyr@umich.edu.
ver Spring Break, I paid a visit
to my personal financial advi-
sor, Klaus. I asked him how the
rebounding economy was affecting my
stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and prop-
erties. He then reminded me that I have
none of those things. He also informed
me that in order to acquire them, one
must have money, and he suggested
that I find a job. His words, enhanced
by a brisk East German accent,
plunged me into an ice-bath unlike any
I had ever known.
Since then, every Help Wanted sign
I've seen has issued an intense blast of
terror to my very soul. The thought of
employment nearly drives me to tears.
It's not that I think of myself as above
work; the problem is that I've spent a
majority of my life employed in one
form or another. Over the years, I've
accumulated many bad experiences,
and I dread the thought of returning to
any sort of workforce.
My first job was as a paperboy. It
was a good source of income for a
young child, especially because I had
friends who were willing to assist me in
my efforts. Unfortunately, winter
weather in Michigan can be treacher-
ous, and from time to time, it can claim
the lives of young children who col-
lapse under the weight of their bags. I
lost three close friends to the blizzard
of '97 alone, and having to explain to
the parents how their sons died under
my watch was unbearable.
I also worked for a few summers as
a Little League umpire. If you're ever
inclined to witness unbridled insanity
in its purest form, watch a child's moth-
er being shocked and appalled to see
that little Tommy was called out for
throwing his bat. Sometimes, after
being frustrated by their insolence or
lack of understanding of the infield fly
rule, I would physically attack them.
Strangely, this is not why I was fired.
Nor when I would dust off home plate
and then' pause to enjoy a private
moment with my dear friend the
whiskey flask. I was fired when I asked
for a raise. I accidentally called my
boss Terry, though his name is actually
Larry. He did not give me the raise I
desired. What he did do, was beat me
within an inch of my life - ironically,
with a baseball bat.
During my high school years, I.
worked at a theater. My employers did
not like me, especially after they dis-
covered that every ticket I sold was at
the discounted senior rate. Evidently
they didn't believe that all 300 people
seeing Lilo and Stitch were over the
age of 65, so I was transferred to con-
cessions. One day, while replacing
boxes of syrup for the soda machines in
the break room, I tried to retuck my
shirt. I lost control, my pants fell
around my ankles, and I spilled.
Hawaiian Punch on the floor. I tried to
clean it up and my hands were stained
red by the delicious drink. Suddenly,
the door burst open, and there stood my
boss, amazed. After a moment of awk-
wardness, she fired me - with good
reason. I stood up and laughed, know-
ing she had caught me both with my
pants down and red-handed. I can only
imagine what would have happened
had there been a cookie jar in the room.
I got me a job one time busing tables
at a country club, so I could case all
these rich pricks that come in. So I pick
out this guy, go in one night, and do his
place. He wakes up - gives me shit -
so I killed him. Him and his tasty bitch
he was with!
Last summer, I worked in a packag-
ing factory. With my renegade
approach to box-making, it was nc
secret that I got into open conflict witl
my managers. One day, I noticed one
hovering over my shoulder as I worke<
on an assembly line. He scoffed an<
began walking away. I asked him wha
his problem was and he replied
"You're everybody's problem. That'
because every time you come into the
factory, you're unsafe. I don't like yoi
because you're dangerous." I smiled
brushed off his shoulder and said
"That's right! Box ... man. I am dan
gerous." I was fired on the spot.
-----------------
SABOR LATINO
Continued from Page 86
contrast, were denser yet more bread-
like in texture. The fajitas did not meet
our expectations because the meat and
vegetables were sauteed in a sour
sauce. Tamales, or cornmeal steamed in
a corn husk with pork filling, were a
different option from the standard
Mexican fare.
The combination platter included a
taco, burrito and enchilada, all of which
were also different from the
Americanized Mexican food that many
of us are used to. The taco was surpris-
ingly small, two small soft flour tor-
tillas filled with only meat and cilantro,
but it was complemented well by the
condiments. The burrito contained
beans and meat, which in my case was
the marinated pork-a flavorful, tender
meat in a faintly sweet, red-colored
sauce. The enchilada consisted of a
corn tortilla filled with chicken, both of
which were very dry and tasteless,
especially after the marinated pork. A
bit of red sauce and cheese was on the
enchilada but not enough to counter the
dryness, which the salsa made more
bearable.
All of the entrees came with Spanish
rice and beans. The orangey color of
the rice suggested that it would be spicy
and flavorful, but instead it was a bit
bland, although of a nice fluffy texture.
The beans, available in both vegetarian
and non-vegetarian versions, were
stewed to the right degree of doneness
and did not have much of a taste to
them, aside from their natural bean fla-
vor. The entrees also included shredded
lettuce, a slice of tomato and gua-
camole: The guacamole, presented on
the tomato slice, was a paler shade of
green than most other versions of gua-
camole, but it contained many chunks
of avocado and had a rich, creamy taste.
Lime juice was not very apparent in the
guacamole, nor was it in the pico de
gallo, so maybe that is what the lime
wedges on the side were for.
Sabor Latino's food is advertised as
being more authentic Latin American
cuisine, but it can take some getting
used to. This can be exciting for more
curious, adventurous diners, especially
when sampling the marinated pork,
salsa and pico de gallo. But for people
who want melted cheese and refried
beans in their Mexican food, Taco Bell
or Tios is probably a more viable
option.
Sabor Latino
211 N. Main St.
Monday through Thursday, 11 a.m.
to 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday, 11 a.m.
to midnight. Sunday 11 a.m. to 9p.m
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FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Manipulating Opinion
In 1969, alarmed at the success
of Richard Nixon's Vietnamization
policy, the NLF and "Alliance"
formed the PRG, or Provisional
Revolutionary Government to
"enhance our claim of
representing the Southern people,
giving the peace movement
additional ammunition." P. 146, A
Viet Cong Memoir. The protestors
fell for it. How does this relate to
Iraq today?
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