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2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Mgozine -Thursday, January 23, 2003
Random picks Lewinsky to win mud wrestling
The Michigan Daily - Weekel Maziae - Thurs
Saturday
By Graham Kelly
Day. Arts Writer
The Michigan Daily: Hi, I'm a
writer with the Michigan Daily.
You've been chosen to take part in
this week's Random Student
Interview. Are you up for it?
Random: Sure.
TMD: Who wins the fight,
Monica Lewinsky or Hillary.
Rodham Clinton?
R: Monica Lewinsky.
TMD: Now with mud.
R: With mud?
TMD: Mud is now a factor.
R: Still Monica Lewinsky.
TMD: What does it mean when
you say someone is a MacGyver?
R: That they are like a jack-of-all
trades.
TMD: What actor played
MacGyver on TV?
R: I have no idea.
TMD: Richard Dean Anderson.
R: He was in like a plane movie
too, or something.
TMD: Do you believe that to be a
successful British rock band, 75 per-
cent of the members have to be
hideously ugly?
R: Yes.
TMD: What is the ugliest British
band you know?
R: The Clash. They also have to
have horrible, horrible haircuts.
TMD: How much wood could a
woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck
could chuck wood?
R: Your mom.
TMD: Wow. Getting a little
feisty. Who was your favorite char-
acter on "Saved By The Bell?"
R: Slater.
TMD: Do you know who played
Zack?
R: Um, Mark Paul Gosselaar or
something.
TMD: Very good. Do you think
that Mark-Paul Gosselaar did any-
thing with his life after "SBTB," or
did you expect more out of him?
R: No, how can you? Eight years
on "SBTB" equals a typecast.
TMD: Do you like Worcester Sauce?
R: Yeah.
TMD: What aquatic animal is a
key ingredient in Worcester Sauce?
R: Anchovies.
TMD: How many people do you
think will read this article?
R: Three.
TMD: That sounds about right.
The cast of "Friends" recently
signed up for another season. What
are your thoughts?
R: Cool. I love that show.
TMD: When you are at a drive-
thru window at a burger place and
it's taking really long to get your
food, do you ever wonder out loud if
they are ' growing the potatoes out
back in an attempt to be witty?
R: No. Usually I'll drive up, and
then pull back in backwards to kill
time.
TMD: Same question, but this
time with the joke being that they
have to kill the cow?
R: Yes.
TMD: Don't you think that's a lit-
tle rude of you, considering those
people are working as hard as they
can to prepare your food while you
sit comfortably in your climate-con-
trolled car?
R: No. I could do it faster.
TMD: Have you ever been
abducted?
R: By aliens?
TMD: Yup.
R: No.
TMD: Would you consider your-
self fickle?
R: No.
TMD: What's your favorite num-
ber?
R: Seven.
TMD: What is your favorite con-
stitutional amendment?
R: One.
TMD: Interesting. Do you ever
question the integrity of your peers?
R: Yes.
TMD: What's the worst day of the
week?
R: Wednesday.
TMD: If you could make up an
eighth day of the week, what would
it be called?
R: Myday.
TMD: Is that one word?
R: Sure. It is now.
TMD: Do you ever not care about
the rest of the week because Friday
you are in love?
R: No.
TMD: Besides Blue Cab, what's
another cab company in Ann Arbor?
R: Yellow Cab.
TMD: Do you believe in UFOs?
R: No.
TMD: Did you ever want Mulder
and Scully to get it on in the "X-
Files," just to alleviate all the sexual
tension?
R: Well yeah.
TMD: Who do you think would
be on top?
(Random takes a suspiciously
long pause with which to ponder the
intriguing - and titillating - ques-
tion.)
R: Scully.
TMD: Are you picturing Mulder
and Scully having sex right now?
R: Unfortunately so.
TMD: Do you believe that SUVs
are inherently evil?
R: No. Well if you are in the mid-
dle of a place that doesn't need an
SUV, yes.
TMD: Who wrote the Harry
Potter series?
R: J.K. Rowling. Or something
close to that.
TMD: Who invented the light
bulb?
R: Um, Einstein.
TMD: The telephone?
R: It wasn't Bell. I don't know.
TMD: Which country is bigger,
Denmark or Sweden?
R: Sweden.
TMD: Are you still thinking of
Mulder and Scully?
R: No. Thankfully so.
TMD: What is 12 times 13?
R: Twelve more than 144.
TMD: Who is your favorite
Greek god?
R: Aphrodite.
TMD: Okay Vanessa, we're
almost done. Now it's time for the
final five.
Who wins in a boxing match
between Mike Tyson and a kanga-
roo?
R: Kangaroo.
TMD: Do you believe that in the
end, the love you take is equal to the
love you make?
R: Probably not.
TMD: Do you prefer the expres-
sion "making whoopee" or "doing
the horizontal bop?"
R: Doing the horizontal bop. Not
fond of the word whoopee.
Goldberg and everything.
TMD: Nature or Nurture?
R: Nature.
TMD: If you could relive one
year out of your life, which one
would it be?
R: Last year.
TMD: Alright Vanessa, thanks a
lot. Look for this in Thursday's
paper.
R: Okay.
TMD: Have a good night.
R: You too..
Qp4,ESTION OF
THE WEEK
What do you do to de-stress?
"I just let it all build up until I have a nerv-
ous breakdown:'
- LSA sophomore Raya Samet
"I go bowling.'
- Residential College junior Christian Shafer
"I love to watch the food network."
- LSA senior Zach Slates
CAMPUS CINEMA
Bowling for Columbine See Thursday.
State Theater 2:15, 4:30, 7, 9:30 &
11:45 p.m.
The Pianist See Thursday. State Theater
3:15, 6:15 & 9:15
Princess Mononoke Makes you want to
cry. State Theater Midnight
Rabbit-Proof Fence See Friday.
Michigan Theater 5:30, 7:30 & 9:30
p.m.
MUSIC
Ann Arbor Folk Festival Is Taj Mahal real-
ly worth that price hike? Michigan
Theater, 603 E. Liberty St., 6 p.m. $30-
45. 668-8463.
Back to Bassists If they don't play "Big
Bottom," you have the right to riot.
Kerrytown Concert House, 415 N.
Fourth St., 7:30 p.m. $10-25 ($5 stu).
769.2999.
Funktelligence Maybe Jackson does the
astro, astro. Leopold Bros., 523 S. main
St., 10 p.m. $7. 747-9806.
Sunday
CAMPUS CINEMA
Bowling for Columbine See Thursday.
State Theater 2:15, 4:30, 7 & 9:30 p.m.
Monty Python and the Holy GraIl What
kind of swallow brings your coconuts?
Michigan Theater 6 & 8:15 p.m.
The Pianist See Thursday. State Theater
3:15, 6:15 & 9:15 p.m.
Rabbit Proof Fence See Friday. Michigan
Theater 3:30, 5:45 & 8 p.m.
Real Women Have Curves See Thursday.
Michigan Theater 3:45 p.m.
MUSIC
Bird Jazz Jam Ron Brooks eats babies.
Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main St., 9
p.m. $3. 662-8310.
Phil Ogilvie's Rhythm Kings That name
just screams polka. The Firefly Club,
207 S. Ashley St., 5 p.m. $7. 665-
9090.
Monday
CAMPUS CINEMA
Bowling for Columbine See Thursday.
State Theater 7 & 9:30 p.m.
The Pianist See Thursday. State Theater
6:45 & 9:45 p.m.
Rabbit-Proof Fence See Friday.
Michigan Theater 7 & 9:15 p.m.
CAMPUS CINEMA
Bowling for Columbine See Thursday.
State Theater 7 & 9:30 p.m.
The Pianist See Friday. State Theater
6:45 & 9:45 p.m.
Rabbit-Proof Fence See Friday. Michigan
Theater 7 & 9:15 p.m.
MUSIC
Blind Pig Showcase Night Advance-
booked open mic night. Makes a
lot of sense. Blind Pig, 208 S.
First St., 10 p.m. Free ($2 under
21). 996-8588.
The Ron Brooks Trio Even Satan himself
quakes in Ron's presence. Bird of
Paradise, 312 S. Main St., 8 p.m. $5.
662-8310.
MUSIC
The Tad Weed Freedom Ensemble If you
ask nicely, they might play Spinal Tap's
"Free-Form Jazz Exploration." Bird of
Paradise, 3125S. Main St., 8 p.m. $3.
662-8310.
University Philharmonia Orchestra
Mainly intended for the parents of
those involved, so you aren't
expected to be there. Michigan
Theater, 603 E. Liberty St., 8 p.m.
Free. 668-8463.
Tuesday
After his success in the "Chamber of Secrets", Kenneth Branaugh shows his range in "Rabb
The Pianist See Friday. State Theater _
6:45 & 9:45 p.m.
Wednesday
Rabbit Proof Fence See Friday. Michigan
Theater 7 & 9:15 p.m.
MUSIC
The Slackers Ska is just plain evil. Don't
go. Blind Pig, 2085S. First St., 7 p.m. $7.
996-8588.
Los Gatos One-hundred tacos for
$100. How can anyone pass that
up? Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main
St., 8 p.m. $5. 662-8310.
I surf the web, read up on news
or simply play with my computer."
- LSA senior Rahman Woods
CAMPUS CINEMA
Bowling for Columbine See Thursday.
State Theater 7 & 9:30 p.m.
215 W. Cross Street
CR~OSS
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