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March 28, 2002 - Image 13

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The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, March 28, 2002 - 10B

The Michigan Daily - Weekeid Maguire






th anniversary


Coutesy Uof Sony
Man, these guys are sweet.
TOP 10
1. 0 Brother, Where Art
Thou Soundtrack, Various
Artists - Good stuff, but when a
compilation is the best album on
the top ten list, America is going
south. Big time.
2. B2K, B2K - Your way,
right away, every time, homey.
3. Drive, Alan Jackson -
Better than Creed. Period.
4. Under Rug Swept, Alanis
Morissette - If Depeche Mode
mixed with a George Forman
Grill. OK, that doesn't make
sense, this album sucks poo.
5. Full Moon, Brandy -
Well, Brandy, show us yours and
we'll show you ours.
6. Hybrid Theory, Linkin
Park - Hey, it's nice to see crap
can still float.
7. Word of Mouf, Ludacris -
There is probably a worse fate
than listening to this CD for eter-
nity. No, there isn't.
8. M!ssundaztood, Pink -
We must have, Pinky, because we
have no clue why you're popular.
9. Fever, Kylie Minogue -
Oh, she sucks.
10. J To Tha L-Of! The
Remixes, Jennifer Lopez -
Take us out back and put us out of
our misery.

od has erred ont the side of compassion b~y no give ganies t ou o' birhday prty
insillhated nt th hertsof herest of us. promisuous, p~erfect fodder for an evening out with the
Lucil, vespent the last year making pfoGod's gross gys or the6ofice pinc.Ydon't have to calt her in the
micacuatonand creating a new rae elt ihthi onn ree ememberher namend if she threatens
own~ skin color, abudreiiu be 4f and .nccpble to telt yourwf, i t dos' mtte, bease Spaggrs ar.
at: ik ...:.i
social practies sure to raise b4h r andluhter in even dirty 1ying wheres Do'wry guiys, Spagger maes
the reddest of liberal cardios. will have fuily dysun ta sexual organs, so there wiWl
Is it possible to id such a grou~p? Of course not! That's.be....misanlig of you wife whire sh' be idrve.
why <, along withD. Leon.Gdskiof the University of around.on .U
South Carolina's bigenetics laboratpry and famd cuua Th marsmn ofben a page is furtheredby.
anthropologist Dr.t Seva MckRunningIorse have spent the their stu~pid religious belief in an invisible diety (named
last eighn nionths genetically engineering ai new breed of Eeeboni) that sieintly wtches over them, Each and every
human emibryos designed.speificlly for the rest of pgr wiU be egeeredto be adevout eebonian. The
humanity to hte. The new race, called the $paggers (patent diety.wil onie day come to Earth and set aill pgg.sfree,
pending) wilt hop~efhuy be available for moral outrage and but only if they've lived good lives and obeyed their nor-
violent hate-crimes by the end of the third quarter next year. mas.Al religious hatred could be turned toward their asi..
The Spaggers would be the ultimate second-class citizen, nn beliefs, and no one's feelings would be hurt, as I've
and would have to be kind and polite to "us normals," o mad...p.the. .e thing! Jews and Muslims can rejoice,
they would b.sbjct.....eg.srutiy, yhg a ./r bine bombs, and take out a.cp fFeb..ia
beingtied to a ee and beaten with tire irons. They, of places of shp.
course, would have ..ga ..e..use .the constitution,.The Spag sthemselves will be a turqu.ie-yellw,.
s human people, but dirty Spaggers. easily id ible color chose for its repugnance and easy
h page g p would immediately take ver al ofaidentifiablityin large groups. The "turq.iseyellw.
thejbs mode r society d .ms.u nfid Pstil threat will b h English as well as their native
homeless people and weathennen would automatieally Spaggish, whilh has been designed for optimal mokabli-
become Spaggerjobs aswouldany surbservient job hereto- ty.rinstance, the Spaggish definitive article p
fore referred to as "slave worke, since the positions will no...et.....o.ycomear to the American childre s wrd
vlnger be paid. Of course, this raises questions about the for fecally" Even ci dren will be able to make fun of and
hpaggrswoilmd e.ican lthatese.d tO make money n,....w.telifs. yat the Spagger slave,.hu..learn.
.hese jobs. Simple. Seinthe government doesn't have to healthy ways to aim their violent .ussat those who
pay Spaggers, we ca ..kea... teir wages and put themi eal.y d eeit.
.back into the economyleating "Spagger Camps."dwhich Which brings me to the nuae itsef. Spaggers was
will be perated ythe former prostitutes, maids andhome- chosenfor its similarity to other offensive raialsurs,
less. pe e (or "Spagger armers)..........s....... eS as the malleability of the word.Otherhan
Mypren wil alsowipe out the ditl debate raging over simply eing them Spagge, or"Spagn the optionsof
the use ofsteg eup eol if scietist wants some live " .ipagy "Spage and r Stupid f***ig Spagger,"
tejosodemrkowiththey only have to go out ad.kithem- areao ille.......
seves a Spagge. O, if they'd prefer to just cut one open Spaggerbashin would reach its pinnae eery yearin
alive, its their perogati e As I'm.not a doetr, pi' not sure April.ed he"Spag Pride" parade m.chensdown
.f l th .oitcs. Snew'e egnrig thm rsevs Michigan Avenue. Families line the o. d carrying rock
long new Spaggid e .rseisasesqsonsaothesortattheyro.Eghldrenm t w ilato(a kpefny.all)
kodinhard-wn.origbein.thsauseoakemonwyt fthr of those dmb t Spaggerslav e don.' des.re to live fr
nating he e pet-up ggnetssions mfedaily lif. Volent cite l the y dofohum niry.h
will pa butcease, as the socially-d ngerous .ght .. Lr heerr. lyenrdesermvd i
tasforminto skiflfCl ane-the-Spg- hi donen nmd woudheikenank tseefopherys wa
er"Thiscatke the paa of bkballoom n eqalnumber ttrs in thers es Oek th
brwbubtiti lo hapad du leaer or exper.. orsetwetoptm, n insea.

Uh, got any gum?

Gross in millions of dollars
1. Blade H(33.1) - Snipes,
killing vampires. He's a credit to his
2. Ice Age (31.1) - Good for
your kids, if they're morons.
3. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
(15.1) - Seriously, Spielberg
should be eliminated without mercy.
Shot with a walkie-talkie.
4. Showtime (8.2) - Eddie
Murphy, reminding us why Eddie
Murphy hasn't been funny since
the '80s.
5. Resident Evil (6.0) -
Follows in the tradition of "Double
Dragon," only dumber.
6. We Were Soldiers (5.8) -
"Braveheart III: Bravehearter."
7. The Time Machine (5.2) -
Guy, if you really needed the money,
you should have mugged Russel
Crowe and eaten his children. That'd
been cool.
8. A Beautiful Mind (4.3) -
Crowe, I hope Guy kills and eats
your chilren.
9. Sorority Boys (4.2) - Balls,
10. 40 Days and 40 Nights
(2.6) - Josh Hartnett should be
working security at Payless. We
hate earth.
"I understand that
n... ,so..in 100,000
sufmfrom the dis-
ease, and I am also
aware that there are
100,000 members of
my union the Screen
Actors build ... .I
think, therefore, it is
in some way consider-
ate of me that I have
taken the disease for
- Dudley Moore, on his terminal
supranuclear palsy
DID You KNow?
Pierce Brosnan, under contract not
to wear a tuxedo outside of the
"James Bond" franchise, was allowed
to dishevel his tux for scenes in
1999's "The Thomas Crown Affair."
Courtesy of The Internet Movie Database




enefit Ann Arbor pres

t is the musical for people who
hate musicals. "Singin' in the
Rain" has grown to be one of
the most beloved American
musicals of all time, and for the
50th anniversary of its release, a
remastered print of the film will
premiere at the Michigan
Theater on April 20 and will sub-
sequently be in theaters across
the country this summer. The
proceeds from the premiere will
go to the scholarship fund at
the Allen Creek preschool in
Ann Arbor. Kerry Kelly Novick,
Gene Kelly's daughter and presi-
dent of Allen Creek, has been
instrumental in arranging for the
world permiere to take place in
Ann Arbor at the historic Michigan
"Singin' in the Rain" has become the quintes-
sential musical, in part because of its technical
brilliance but mostly because of the charisma
and magnetism of Gene Kelly. Kelly, with his
athletic and versatile dancing and his compelling
on-screen persona, has become one of the icon~s
of dance. Kelly was a dancer who was able to
successfully combine masculinity with his art.
As Kerry said, his ability to maintain the lead-
ing-man role while still dancing "has to do with
his particular style of dance and his own person-
ality. The style was athletic and that made it
masculine. And also that it was unabashedly
Despite the unbelievable popularity of the
film, Gene "never thought of it as his most
important film artistically," said Kerry. By the
time that "Singin' in the Rain" came out in 1952,
Gene had already established his artistic style
and "had already figured out how to photograph
Associate Editors: Caitlin Nish,
Andy Taylor-Fabe
Writers: Rebecca Ramsey
Photo Editor: David Katz
Photographers: Emma Fosdick
Cover Photo: Manish Raiji
Arts Editors: Lyle Henretty, Luke
Smith, Managing Editors, Jeiff
Dickerson, Associate Editor
Editor in Chief: Jon Schwartz

dance on film, so I don't think it had the excite-
ment of new discovery, new creation," added
Kerry, "but he thougth it was great fun. He knew
that it had something joyful in it."
Kerry's son Ben, who is also a professor at the
University of Michigan, commented that
"although it wasn't a very daring film, every-
thing works in it. It's very slick and polished."
Kerry added, "Polish is partly responsible for its
success. There are so many narrative and emo-
tional elements (in the film) that it doesn't feel
dated." However, at the time, it wasn't a massive
success comercially or critically. It is only with
the passage of time that it has come to be cher-
ished as one of the great musicals.
Part of what makes "Singin' in the Rain" so
accessible to such a broad audience is Gene's
ability to avoid, as Ben called it, "the cringe fac-
tor ... Most
musicals have a
moment when
you wince and
think that just
doesn't work.
("Singin' in thev
Rain") simply
doesn't have one.
You don't have to
apologize for this
Although there
are moments in.
the film that defyt
reality and tumble
into the realm ofw
Hollywood musi-
cals, where people can burst a
into song with no warning, there is never a
scene in the film that you wish was not included.
This is partly due to Gene's dynamic presence
on-screen, his bright, slightly crooked smile and
his fun-filled, acrobatic dance style.
One of the most frequent comparisons that is
drawn when Gene Kelly's name is mentioned is
his relationship with Fred Astaire and their roles
on the screen. Most people think of Astaire as
the sophisticated gentleman dressed in a tuxedo
in a ballroom, whereas Gene is traditionally
thought of as the regular guy who dances in a
sweater or a t-shirt and splashes in puddles.
However, as Ben Novick said, "(Gene) resent-
ed the fact that the public, perhaps understand-
ably, portrayed him or saw him only through his

roles. He did try to dress down ..<
... and yet this is the man who
went to college, who was a
very intellectual man. It was a
big part of his life; he liked x>.
fine art and could speak for- >x
eign languages, and could
speak with you very intelli-
gently, while Fred Astaire was
a Vaudeville kid who came up
through the ranks of .
Vaudeville. But off-screen,
their roles were almost turned
around." Kerry added, "it's one
of the burdens of famous peo-
ple that they do get character-
ized according to other peo-
ples' perceptions."
On the other hand, rumors Court
of Kelly's and Astaire's Gene in the navy,
rivalry were greatly
exaggerated as well. "(They) had the
greatest respect for each other; they
were friends. The mythic creation of a
rivalry and a competition seemed real-
'< ly foolish to them both. It was more a
construction of press agents than any
reality," said Kerry.
However, their relationship was more
complicated than a simple friendship. As
Ben said, "(Gene) was frustrated about a
o built up rivalry that wasn't really there
professionally, and yet also, there was more
to it than the public statement that both of
them made saying, 'Oh, we're the best of
friends." There was also, at least on my
grandfather's part, an undercurrent of some
resentment of how the public viewed the two
of them.
In adition to his identity as a dancer, Gene was
also conflicted about his Irish identity. Although
he is commonly identififed with his Irish her-
itage, he seldom used his background profession-
ally. There were several rea-
sons for this, one of them
being that he was also part
Canadian. His Irish identity
was never emphasized as a
child. His mother actually
took steps to downplay his{ >
Irishness, for she saw their
Irish hertiage as "disticntly <
lower-class," as Ben said.


of Kerry and Be
tudes towar
'70s, he ga
for Ireland
However, 1
giance to Ir
Israeli grou
As Ben s
by helping
against im
Kerry adde
ity with Is:
ceived as fr
Irishness pc
being part
against opp
Gene's in
can be exp
tudes at the
an emphasi
'70s that th
inition by e


BERLE DEAD AT 93 - Actor, come-
dian Milton Burl died yesterday at
his home surrounded by his fami-
ly, CNN reports. The television
star single-handedly sold thou-
sands of televison sets just as
the medium was rising to pop-
ularity in the late '40s.
Berle, known for his
wry sense of humor and
giant cigars was a mul-
tiple Emmy-winner and
the first inductee into
the the International
Comedy Hall of Fame
.and the TV Hall of
another sad turn, actor, courte

musician Dudley Moore died yester-
day at his home in New Jersey, CNN
reports. The 66 year-old had been
struggling with progressive
supranuclear palsy for years.
The actor was best known for
his roles in 1979's "10" and as a
drunken composer in 1981's
"Arthur," for which he
recieved an Academy
Award nomination.
Moore was also the
recipient of various Tony
Awards, two Golden
Globes and a Grammy.
MOVIE - Riding a wave of
attention from his role in
Todd Field's "In the
of Warner Bros. Bedroom," Stahl has been

selected to replace Edward Furlong
as John Connor for the third install-
ment in the series, "T3: Rise of the
Machines." Production is scheduled
to begin in April and end in
September, and the film will be
released Summer 2003.
DENTS - Mastercard International
and MTV have joined forces to create
the "Priceless Edge" internship pro-
gram for college students 18-25-years
old. The internship gives 12 students
the chance to work on the production
of Fearless Entertainment's "Music in
High Places," which airs on MTV
Interested students can go to
www.mastercard.com to find out
more about the internship and other
pertinent information.

Jeff Deverett, a producer of the
Canadian-produced kid show "Ricky's
Room" is protesting the opening of and
suing the makers of the new film "Death
to Smoochy." Deverett feels as if the
film, a satire about a guy in a pink rhino
costume stalked by an out-of-work kids-
show host, is too close to his show.
Deverett commented that, for kids,
"this movie is Sept. 11." Yeah, just
like that, moron.

Gene Kelly (right) with his wife, Be

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