S W
w v w 1
w V U
2B- The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine - Thursday, January 10, 2002
Random Student wants $10 million to star in porn fm
The Michigan Daily -- Weekend, etc. Magaz
By Josh Wickeiam
Daily Arts Writer
The Michigan Daily: Hi, is
Meredith there?
Random: This is.
TMD: Have you ever won any-
thing before?
R: No.
TMD: Well, tonight is your lucky
night. Out of 40,000 students in the
campus community, you have won
the chance to be randomly inter-
viewed for The Michigan Daily!
How does that make you feel?
R: Oh, it makes me feel so good -
except that when you called I stuck
myself with a pin.
TMD: That's too bad. How did that
happen?
R: I'm sewing.
TMD: What are you sewing?
R: Fixing a sweater to wear to school
tomorrow.
TM]D: Well, I'm making a teepee and
I couldn't get the sewing machine to
work. But let's get down to business with
this interview. What is your gender?
R: I'm a girl
TMD: What is your height and
weight?
R: 5-foot-4, 130 lbs.
TMD: Have you ever dated someone
shorter than yourself?
R: No, I haven't.
TMI): What did you do over Winter
Break?
R: I went to Buffalo and hung out in
Ann Arbor because I live here. And my
break was cut short because I'm student
teaching. And then I went skiing too.
TMD: Did you go home and spend
time with your parents?
R: Yes, I did.
TMD: How much did you spend on
gifts for your parents?
R: About a $100 together.
TMD: Do your parents measure
how much they love you by how much
you spend?
R: No.
TMD: Do you ever feel pressured
to spend more money on Christmas
gifts than you are able or want to
spend?
R: No.
TMD: Wow, you're insulated from
the advertising barrage. Do you cele-
brate the New Year as most
Americans, on Jan. 1, or do you like
the Chinese New Year?
R: No, I do it in January. I like
January 1, but I've actually never
thought about it before.
TMD: Do you have any hopes for
the New Year?
R: I don't want to say anything
because this is going to be printed.
TMD: Oh my, it's not like I'm going
to print your last name.
R: Thanks!
TMD: No problem. So, do you have
any dreams that you feel have been
crushed by the weight of society?
R: That's a heavy question. I don't
think so.
TMD: You're pretty immune from
most things.
R: I'm really a happy person actually.
What is this interview for?
TM): Hey, I'm asking the questions.
Do you feel like tradition is important,
even if the tradition is watching televi-
sion, drinking raw eggs or killing trees
to put in our homes?
R: Yes, I think it's important. They're
fun. They bring family together.
TMD: How old were you when you
stopped believing in Santa Claus?
R: Oh gosh, probably seven.
TMD: I remember I had my first
doubts when my parents bought me a
big Transformers creation and the toy
was made in Taiwan. They said his elves
had a factory there. If you have kids, do
you think it would be better to tell them
that Santa Claus is the one making their
gifts or that they are quite likely being
made - by Taiwanese factory workers
making $1 an hour?
R: I think Santa is definitely bet-
ter. Let's keep some innocence in the
children.
TMD: What about when the
adults tell them otherwise about
Santa?
R: Children aren't as smart as you
and me and they can grow up to
about 9 years old and then when you
tell them the truth, they can start
learning about other countries' ways
of handling situations
TMD: Do you think that your trip
home felt worthwhile?
R: Well, yeah, to see my parents
and my dog.
TMD: Do you like spending time
with your immediate family?
R: They're OK.
TMD: Extended family?
R: Um, that too.
TM): You are a happy person!
What will you remember from 2001?
R: My best friend moved.
TMD: What do you think of home-
less people who yell and spit at people?
R: I think they've probably been
through a lot of hard times and they're
probably not all there.
TMD: What do you think about stu-
dents who do the same thing?
R: Probably the same thing.
TMD: Have you ever dated anyone
you met over the Internet?
R: No.-
TMD: What was your new year's res-
olution?
R: Didn't have one; I was just going
to break it anyway.
TMR: How would you feel appear-
ing nude in front of a large group of peo-
ple?
R: I don't think I would do that. I
would feel self-conscious.-
TMD: What if the other people were
nude tod?
R: If I didn't know them and I didn't
have to see them again, I would do it.
TMD: But you wouldn't do it with
your friends?
R: No way.
TMD: How would you feel standing
in front of a camera nude?
R: Depends on who would see the
pictures.
TMD: Do you know what
Conjunction Junction's function was?
R: It's that show that came between
the other shows that I never actually
watched. I was always bad at spelling.
TMD: Do you know which Beatle
was the Walrus?
R: I would say it was John Lennon.
TMD: Do you know which Beatle
was dead?
R: No I don't. You can't play CDs
backwards.
TMD: Good point. Although my
record player didn't have a backwards
function.
R: Yeah, I don't know how that ever
worked.
TMD: You're right.
R: You can't play mp3s backwards
either.
TMD: Are you into video games?
R: My boyfriend is.
TMD: If you bought him a gaming
system, would you buy an XBox, a
GameCube or Playstation 2?
R: I would buy him an XBox
because he says that's the next best
thing after a PS2.
TMD): Have you ever had a mullet?
R: No.
TMD: Do you know anyone who's
ever had a mullet?
R: This kid that I knew that actual-
ly went here had one and I knew him
in middle school.
TMD: Yeah, I had a sorta mullet in
5th grade. My hair was spiked and it
was a little long and curly in the back.
R: I think a lot of boys did back
then.
TMD: How much money would it
take for you to star in a porn movie?
R: I think ... hmm ... I think that
would take $10 million.
TMD: No, I think that's OK. I once
got painful, shooting diarrhea after
eating the food and now I keep a
healthy distance from the establish-
ment.
R: Look, I don't even know you.
Too many details.
TMD: Duly noted. Read Weekend.
Jay Stielstra & the Country Quartet
Created The North Country Opera. The
Ark, 316 S. Main St., 8 p.m. $13.50 761-
1451.
THEA TER
Rennie Harris Puremovement: "Rome &
Jewels" See Fri.
ALTERNATIVES
"A Matter of Degree: Abstraction in
Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs.
"People and Places: The Baker Gift of
20thCentury Photography" See Thurs.
Sunday
BOOKS
James H. Madison Reads Madison
reads and signs copies of his book A
Lynching in Heartland: Race and
Memory in America. 4pm, Borders
Books & Music, 612 E. Liberty, free;
668-7652.
CAMPUS CINEMA
Amelle See Thursday. State Theater.
2, 4:30, 7 & 9:15 p.m.
Gosford Park See Friday. Michigan
Theater. 2:15, 5 & 8 p.m.
In the Bedroom See Thursday.
Michigan Theater. 4:30 & 7:30 p.m.
La Passion de Jeanne D'Arc With live
organ accompaniment; old and silent
but still great today. Michigan
Theater. 2 p.m.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship
of the Ring See Thursday. State
Theater. 2:30, 6& 9:30 p.m.
MUSIC
Madcat & Kane I don't know who
7:30 p.m. $11 761-1451.
Phil Ogilvie's-Rhythm Kings
Knowledge is KING! The Firefly Club,
207 S. Ashley St. 5 p.m. $7. 665-
9090.
Open Mic Sidze Show Eclectic show-
case almost any weird talents wel-
come. T.C.'s Speakeasy, Ypsilanti 9
p.m. $2 483-4470.
A LTERNA TIVES
"Haydn's Seven Last Words of Christ"
The world-famous Brentano String
Quartet and Pulitzer prize-winning poet
laureate Mark Strand present this
artistic representation to accompany
Haydn's musical meditations of
Christ's last words on the cross. 4
p.m. Mendelssohn Theatre. $25-35.
764-2538.
"A Matter of Degree: Abstraction in
Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs.
"People and Places: The Baker Gift of
20th-Century Photography" See Thurs.
Monday
BOOKS
Eric Schoisser Reads Scholsser reads
and signs copies of his book Fast Food
Nation: The Dark Side of the All-
American Meal. 7pm, Borders Books &
Music, 612 E. Liberty, free; 668-7652.
CAMPUS CINEMA
Amelie See Thursday. State Theater. 7
& 9:15 p.m.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari & Un Chien
Andalou No More Kubrick films but we
now have Dali slicing up eyeballs.
Michigan Theater. 7 p.m.
Gosford Park See Friday. Michigan
Theater. 9 p.m.
Russell Crowe thinks of an Oscar speech for "A Beautiful Mind."
312 S. Main St., 9 p.m. $5 662-8
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship
of the Ring See Thursday. State Avant Mondays: The Tad V
Theater. 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Tad Weed is the piani;
the Ron Brooks trio. The Firefly (
207 S. Ashley St., 8 p.m. $5
MUSIC 9090.
Leonardo's Open Jam Talent and audi- ALTERNATIVES
ence invited. 2101 Pierpoint
Madcat is but all those storylines with
Kane and the Undertaker were just In the Bedroom See Thursday.
getting old. The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Michigan Theater. 7:45 p.m.
Commons, North Campus, 8 p.m. free
764-7544.
The Bird of Paradise Orchestra 14
piece jazz big band. Bird of Paradise,
Hfappy Birthday!
cm *0 tjewoldk't e t"w/IN to
rmattda to jou Wltartie mat,,.lust ring
alroa ind ml w 1 I Irt I l nd rwLgut
ftttrW citftreeirmour iua mwt en, IK.s
.Jiart ust u! ag'szing
G~mdml 0t C4mNaats
mid thank'i fw
Chula*Iirnmdt w tth us.
"A Matter of Degree: Abstractic
Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs
"People and Places: The Baker Gi
20th-Century Photography" See TI
Tuesday
BOOKS
Verse Magazine Poetry Reading F
and Verse Magazine editors read
their work. 5pm, Intermedia Ga
McKenny Student Union,
Campus, free; 487-1817.
CAMPUS CINEMA
Amelie See Thursday. State Theater
9:15 p.m.
Gosford Park See Friday. Mic
Theater. 7:30 p.m.
In the Bedroom See Thursday. Mic
Theater. 7:45 p.m.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowsl
the Ring See Thursday. State Th
7:30 p.m.
MUSIC
Blind Pig Showcase Night Feat. S
& The Orange, The Submar
Debauchery and Patrick Couples
Blind Pig, 208 S. 1st St., 10 p.m
($2 under 21) 996-8555.
Gabriel Yacoub Front man of pc
French folk group Malicorne. The
316 S. Main St., 8 p.m. $12.50
1451.
The Ron Brooks Trio Does this me
three of them are named Ron Brc
Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main1!
The new Line
Chinese Cuisine
Kai Garden., :liag
116 S.Main St.
(Bewteen W Huron and Any.
Washtenaw) carryout nrgsetrian
and reservations istie
accepter.v
Open 7 Days 11am-11pm
MEXICAN CAFE~
Ann Arbor's finet
Mexican Style Food!
Michigan'se Larpot Selecti on of
Gourmet Hot Sauce* & 5aloael
IWE DELIVER! Call 761-6650
'x11 I a.m . - Tume
'x118S am. Wa. " S at. 333 E. Huron
Couresy of New une Cinema
Frodo (not Blibo) experiences close calls during his task to take the ring to Mt. Doom in "The Fellowship of the Ring."