12B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine - Thursday, January 31, 2002
Sex, drugs and pizza: A night
with the pizza delivery guy
The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazir
FROM THE VAULT: A 'BOTTLE ROCKET' B(
Wes Anderson's debut film launched Wilsons
By Rich Haffner
For the Daily
It's Friday night between "Early" and
"Time for the Bar." I stop at a pizza place
(which will remain anonymous) on my
way to my car. I order some pizza and a
Coke and ask for the manager. I intro-
duce myself as a writer for the Daily and
tell the manager my editor wants a story
based on a drive along with the pizza
"I'd, like to help you, man, but that's
against the Health Code and our business
insurance," says the manager.
I take a bite of my slice and a sip from
my Coke, and I think this one through. I
can see the manager's point. A reporter,
i.e., not an employee, rides along in the
delivery truck 'with the delivery guy.
Delivery guy gets in an accident.
Reporter gets hurt, sues.
"What if I sign a waiver?"
It's the manager's turn to think this one
through. "What if the Health Department
gives us a surprise inspection?"
I hadn't thought about that. I take
another bite of my slice. "What if you
don't know about it?"
Hey, this gets him. I can see the wheels
turning. "Come back after 10 and ask for
Matt." I thank the manager and walk to
my car, finishing my slice and Coke.
At the appointed time, I'm back at the
pizza establishment, and I ask for Matt.
I'm told Matt's on a run but he's expecting
me. I spend the time waiting for Matt by
watching the other employees. There are
four manning the store. One employee is
always on the phone. The other three are
constantly making pizzas, tossing crust,
spreading sauce and toppings - pies in
and out of the four ovens.
After 15 minutes, a delivery guy comes
in from the back, but it's not Matt. This
delivery guy grabs a stack of eight pizzas
and four two-liter bottles of Coke, and
he's back out the door. Mike comes in a
few minutes later.
We introduce ourselves, and then we're
quickly off. Matt has his own stack of
eight pizzas, but no Cokes. I find out later
he hates delivering Cokes. We go out
through the back and pile into the delivery
guy's Ford Ranger. The Ranger is stripped
down to no extras - not even a radio -
and the cab is tiny. I have to ride in the
passenger seat with the eight pizzas on
I ask Matt a few personal questions. He
freely answers. He's 24, single, has been a
delivery guy for six years and has worked
all over town. He's an Ann Arbor native
and an aspiring musician. A large, cut
man, he also works part time as a bounc-
er at a local bar.
Matt's first delivery is two larges on
Hill near Forest. The order is $15.75.
He's tipped $1.25. That's typical - the
change plus a buck is the standard tip for
a usual order and what the delivery guy
expects. I ask Matt how often he gets
stiffed. "All the time," he says. "Probably
every fourth or fifth delivery. But it goes
in streaks. Some Fridays I never get
stiffed and I'll make $200 to $250. Some
Mondays I only make $20."
This run of eight pizzas is a good one.
It takes only 25 minutes, and he pockets
The second run is only two orders, but
it's 12 pizzas. Good and bad news - the
fraternities and sororities have started
ordering. Matt explains, "The usual tip is
the change plus a buck. Unfortunately,
that's true if you order one pizza or 10.
That's the bad news about the frats and
sororities. Big orders, small tips."
"So what's the good news?"
"Most sorority trips are good for some
tits. There's always a little boob, some-
times more than a little, sometimes a lit-
tle butt cheek."
"And the frats?" I ask.
"Weed," he replied.
"Interesting fringe benefits."
Three hours later it's "Getting Home
From the Bar" time, the dreaded time for
the delivery guy - drunk drivers, drunk-
en pizza orders. Drunk callers never tip.
Drunk drivers, of course, kill.
I ask Matt if anyone's ever thrown up
on him. No.
Any incidents with drunk drivers? Not
really, but he sees them every Thursday,
Friday and Saturday.,
"What about driving in general in Ann
Arbor. Doesn't it suck?"
"Does it? I grew up here. I don't know
Matt is done for the night. The final
count is $175 in tips, four partial boob
sightings, three bong hits and one beer. A
typical Friday night.
I ask Matt if there's anything he wants
to say to the readers of the Daily - pizza
consumers one and all. He thought about
it for a few moments.
"Yes," he says. "Think twice the next
time you're about to be rude to the pizza
guy. Remember, we make you your food.
Pepperoni has been known to get wiped
through 'No Man's Land'."
"No Man's Land?"
"You're a writer. Use your imagina-
-- Editor's Note: The names and places
have been changed to
protect those involved.
etc. From the vault
By Jeff Dickerson
Daily Arts Editor
Unknown independent Texan-born
director Wes Anderson garnered critical
acclaim for his 1998 comedy
"Rushmore." The coming of age story of
Max Fisher, an ambitious private
schooler with a pension for playwriting
and first-grade teachers, thrusted
writer/director Anderson into the
= Anderson received similar praise for
"The Royal Tenenbaums," the story of a
family of geniuses released this past
December. Gene Hackman took
home a Golden Globe for his portrayal
of Royal Tenenbaum himself and with
the Academy Awards right around the
corner "Tenenbaums" is not done net-
Anderson's humble film beginnings
started when he was in college at the
University of Texas. It was in a playwrit-
ing class where he met Owen Wilson,
his eventual writing partner. The two
became quickly friends and from their
creative loins sprung their debut film
Expanded on a 13-minute short made
by the friends in 1994, the
low budget comedy
follows the misguid-
ed adventures of
Maplethorp (Robert Musgrave). As the
opening credits fade, Anthony escapes
from a voluntary mental hospital to join
his best friend Dignan in a small band of
"It's about a group of guys who have
lots of energy and the urge to do some-
thing. They have a lot of ambition and
grand aspirations, it's just that their
direction in life happens to be a little
unconventional. They are sincerely try-
ing to accomplish something, they just
don't know what." says Anderson of his
first feature in an interview with the
official "Bottle Rocket" website.
The Anderson/Wilson team use a
laundry list of no-name actors, many of
which are friends and family. Owen and
Luke's younger brother Andrew Wilson
has a role as Bob's brother "Futureman."
Kumar Pallana, owner of a coffee shop
Wilson and Anderson frequented, has a
small role in all three of their films while
his son Dipak Pallana also appears in
"Bottle Rocket" as a book store employ-
ee. The only notable actor featured in the
film is Sonny Corleone himself, James
Caan, as the hero figure Mr. Henry.
"Bottle Rocket" is currently avail-
able on DVD via Columbia Pictures.
The disc is an older release with little
in the area of bonus features, yet man
ages to have a tolerable visual and audi
presentation. Thankfully a better rendi
tion of the cult comedy
is on the way cour-
tesy of the fine
T h e
Cr it e rion
No release date
has been set for the
new special edition DVD
but expect it sometime later
, .., .
Courtesy of Columbia Pictures
Robert Musgrave, Luke Wilson and Owen Wilson on the run from Johnny Law.
Here comes the pizza. What's in it ... you don't wanna know!
A look at
U of M
Rocket' soundtrack delights with
obscure '60s tunes and Latin flair
sense whilie Jndbig th e
city' vbest pizza dlivery
etc. From the vault
By Jeff Dickerson
Daily Arts Editor
When selecting music.for his films,
director Wes Anderson traipses through
the annals of rock history to find
obscure and catchy songs to compli-
ment his quirky characters.
You won't find Top 40 tracks from
current crotch rockers Creed,
Matchbox 20, or the Dave Matthews
Band ... that's not his style. Instead you
might hear a song from The
Proclaimers or Oliver Onions. Who'?
Composer Mark Mothersbraugh pro-
vides a score as unconventional as the
songs themselves. Mothersbraugh was
a founding member of the underground
avant-garde band Devo, better known
as the guys who wore red flower pots
on their heads. Ironically he and his
bandmates used to sport yellow jump-
suits, as do the characters in "Bottle
"When we made the movie, a com-
poser wasn't attached yet, so the yellow
jumpsuit thing was just luck,"
Anderson said in an interview with the
official "Bottle Rocket" website. "He
came to a screening and seemed to real-
ly get the movie and he contacted us
about doing the score."
Mothersbraugh's score has an upbeat
punch to it, a style he returned to for
"Rushmore." The subtleties in his com-
positions reflect the subdued personas
of the characters, often played quietly
behind the dialogue of the film. The
tracks are brief, most only a minute
long, yet accent the scenes in the film
to utter perfection.
Although the "Bottle Rocket" sound-
track is a masterful blend of
Mothersbraugh's score and '60s clas-
sics, unfortunately the soundtrack does
not include some of the more memo-
rable songs in the film, The Rolling
Stones' "2000 Man," Love's "Alone
again or" and "7 & 7 is." Nevertheless,
the "Bottle Rocket" soundtrack is a
worthy addition for those who appreci-
ate the music from "Rushmore" and
"The Royal Tenenbaums."
Courtesy ofR ecord Company
For more information about our scheduled on-campus recruiting
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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 10B
top 3 in a field of 14 is an accom-
plishment in itself.
EXCELLENT: During the
Challenge, both Bella Napoli and
NYPD had quick and courteous deliv-
ery, generous portions and the .best
quality mozzarella in town. Perhaps
we were all just cheese-lovers, but
both places get high marks for going
the extra mile for quality ingredients.
(However, it seems that Bella Napoli
may be trying to mimic NYPD.
Imitation in this case is the highest
form of flattery.)
SUPERIOR: Cottage Inn came out
on top for a combination of quick
delivery and quality of pizza. Plus
Cottage Inn consistently delivers a
great pizza all around. -Like Bell's,
their delivery operation is in tip-top
shape and they deserve the highest
In about three and a half hours, we
had consumed 14 pizzas (well, 13 1/2
- don't forget we threw out the rest of
Pizza Bob's after homeless people did-
n't want it.) It was quite the feat. With
vigilance, perseverance, teamwork
and courage, we made it through the
Although all that cheese took the
rest of the weekend to digest, it was
well worth it.
e in t no n)wit~h
DOM&E Pi H
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