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November 29, 2001 - Image 12

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The Michigan Daily, 2001-11-29

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The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine -

2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine - Thursday, November 29, 2001

'Poor White Trash 2': Without a
doubt the worst film ever made

Random has never
gotten the 'sensation'

etc Movies from the vault
By Jeff Dickerson
Daily Arts TV/New Media Editor
People often claim to have seen the
worst movie of all time. The title fol-
lowing the claim is usually a recent box
office flop like John Travolta's space
odyssey "Battlefield Earth" or a musi-
cian-turned-actor vehicle such as
Vanilla Ice's movie debut "Cool As
Ice."
Declarations of the worst films ever
projected on the big screen are spewed
out incessantly, oblivious to the exis-
tence of "Poor White Trash 2," the true
recipient of the crown. Never heard of
it? We'll get into the particulars later,
but first a history lesson for the ill-
informed.
The original "Poor White Trash,"
alternately referred to as "Bayou," was
released in 1957 with the warning,
"Due to the abnormal subject matter
depicted in 'Poor White Trash,' no-one
under 17 will be admitted, and armed
policemen will be on hand at all

times!" The advertising campaign
worked; perverts hbopped on their trac-
tors and headed to the local drive-in to
catch a glimpse of some Cajun skin,
but many were let down by the lack of
any risque nudity. Seeing a pre-
"Mission Impossible"
Peter Graves battle backwoods
cretins wasn't enough to pull the film
together, as Oscar voters overlooked
the low budget swill when the
Academy Awards rolled around (David
Lean's "Bridge on the River Kwai" was
the years big winner).
Hot off the heels of the economical
horror flick "Don't Look in the
Basement," director Sherald
Brownrigg was poised to conquer the
world of trashy cinema. For his next
project the audacious filmmaker revis-
ited the not so cult classic "Poor White
Trash." Plot elements remained the
same; a newlywed couple ends up in
the woods with its grubby inhabitants
in the ultimate battle of good and evil.
The narrative is as exciting as a visit to
Grandma Johnson at the nursing home.

Time would be better spent watching a
block of ice defrost in the microwave.
Aesthetically tle film is less than
pleasing. Most of the lighting looks as
if the crew used flashlights to highlight'
the characters. Locations are kept to a
bare minimum in the interest of budg-
et and it seems as though the director
used his house for the majority of fihn-
ing when his mom went off to the gro-
cery store for some 2 percent milk and
a bag of Iced Animals. The acting ...
you can't even call it acting.
Nothing about the film works and I
stress the word "nothing."
Save yourself, avoid this film at all
costs. Should you even be able to find
a copy of "Poor White Trash 2" on
VHS at the closest Blockbuster or
Mom & Pop video store, demand they
remove it from the shelves in the best
interests of their customers.
The clogged toilet of a movie must
be disposed of before any more inno-
cent lives are subjected to the 90-
minute bowel movement. United we
stand.

By Josh Wickerham
Daily Arts Writer
The Michigan Daily: Hey, is this
Syreeta?.
Random: Yes..
TMD: Hey, you've been randomly
selected out of 40,000 students on.
campus to take part in the Random
Student Interview for Weekend, etc.
Magazine. How does that make you
feel?
R: What would this be for?
TMD: It would be for The
Michigan Daily.
How was your Thanksgiving?
R: It was good. I got to go home
and see my family and see friends.
TMD: How is school looking
right now?
R: Stressful. I'm ready for these
last few weeks to be over.
TMD: How many pounds was
your bird?
R: I have no idea.
TMD: Did you celebrate Buy
Nothing Day this year?
R: Yeah.

i

TMD: So did you spend time with
friends and family instead of going
to the mall?
R: Yeah, I spent time with family.
Because a lot of people couldn't get
in on Thanksgiving day, we did stuff
on Friday.
TMD: What do you think about
killing Osamma Bin Laden?
. R: I don't care for killing anyone.
I don't think it's morally correct and
I don't think it would solve or cor-
rect anything that happened on Sept.
11. I think it would make us look just
as bad as he did.
TMD: Bush wants to go after Iraq
and North Korea. So, do you think
we should go kill Sadam Hussein?
R: No, for the same reason that I
said we shouldn't kill Osamma bin
Laden.
TMD: But do you think we should
take him out of power?
R: If we could take some of his
power away without causing bodily
harm, we should.
TMD: Have you ever heard any-
body say McDonald's?
R: Outside of the restaurant, no.
TMD: Do you ever experienced
the joy of cola?
R: Yeah.
TMD: Are you sure you're not
relating to some Britney Spears phe-
nomenon instead?
R: What are you talking about?
TMD: Slogans. Is Dr. Pepper a
part of you?
R: No.
TMD: Have you ever gotten "the
sensation" when you bite into a York
Peppermint Patty?
R: (Laughing.) No
TMD: Have you ever eaten a
Reese's the wrong way?
R: Can't say as I have.
TMD: Of course you haven't!
There's no wrong way to eat a
Reese's.
Were you swept up in the insanity
of the Taco Bell gordita revolution?
R: I sure was. I love gorditas
TMD: Did you take part in the
failed Chalupa revolution?
R: No. Just the gorditas.
TMD: Have you ever just done it?
(Laughing hysterically.) No.
TMD: Well most people have, and
I have and I get sick of people telling
me to do it over and over again when
there are better things to do.
Speaking of which, do you watch
TV?
R: Yeah.
TMD: How much would someone
have to pay you for you to throw
away your television for a year'?
R: A yearJ? Wow. It would take
$10,000.
TMD: TV is that important to
you?
R: TV is vital. What do you do at
nights when there's nothing better to
do? You watch TV.
TMD: No, I interview random
students.
ODo you know what the adjective
snarky means?
R: No idea.
TMD: Thank you and goodnight.

A Christmas Story See Friday. Michigan
Theater. 3 p.m. Free.
The Man Who Wasn't There See
Thursday. State Theater. 2, 4:30, 7 &
9:30 p.m.
Sidewalks of New York See Friday.
State Theater. 2:30, 4:45, 7:15, 9:15 &
11:30 p.m.
Waking Life See Thursday. State
Theater. Midnight.
MUSIC
Handel's "Messiah" The UMS Choral
Union, Ann Arbor Symphony Orchestra
and four opera singers perform this
beloved Christmas classic. 8 p.m. Hill
Auditorium. $12-20. 764-2538.
THEA TER
"Stop Kiss" See Thurs. $25.
A LTERNA TIVES
"A Matter of Degree: Abstraction in
Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs.
"Japanese Fisherman's Coats of Awaji
Island" See Thurs.
Sunday
CAMPUS CINEMA

Amelie See
Theater. 8 p.m.

Thursday.

Amelie See Thursday.
Theater. 5:30 & 8 p.m.

Michigan

Eyes Wide Shut I've never been more
unhappy to see CG. Michigan Theater.
7 p.m.
Gridlock'd Roth and Pac. Michigan
Theater. 6 p.m.
The Man Who Wasn't There See
Thursday. State Theater. 7 & 9:30 p.m.
Sidewalks of New York See Friday.
State Theater. 7:15 & 9:15 p.m.
ALTERNA TIVES
"A Matter of Degree: Abstraction in
Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs.
"Japanese Fishermen's Coats of Awaji
Island" See Sat.

Robert Redford teaches Brad Pitt how to get chicks once he gets older in "Spy Ga

THEATER
"Stop Kiss" See Thurs. 2 p.m. $20.
ALTERNATIVES
"A Matter of Degree: Abstraction in
Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs.
"Japanese Fishermen's Coats of Awaji
Island" See Sat.
Monday
BOOKS
U-M Alum Reads Sarah Messer, a grad-
uate of the University's program in cre-
ative writing and poetry, will read from
her comical new poetry collection,
"Bandit Letters." Shaman Drum, 8 p.m.
Free. 662-7407.
CAMPUS CINEMA

Michigan

CAMPUS CINEMA

A Christmas Story See Friday. Michigan
Theater. 3 p.m. Free.
The Man Who Wasn't There See
Thursday. State Theater. 2, 4:30, 7 &
9:30 p.m.
Sidewalks of New York See Friday.
State Theater. 2:30, 4:45, 7:15 & 9:15
p.m.
MUSIC

BOOKS
Renowned Renaissance WomanReads
Grace Paley, uber-famous poet, femi-
nist, pacifist, honorary University
degree recipient and sometimes anar-
chist, will read this evening at the
Michigan League Ballroom. 7:30 p.m.
Do not miss this event under any cir-
cumstance. Michigan League Ballroom,
7:30 p.m. Free. 647-6471.

Amelie See Thursday.
Theater. 6:45 & 9:15 p.m.

Michiga

ar

Waking Life See Thursday. State
Theater. 9:30 p.m.
Cinema Slam Michigan Theater. 7 p.m
The Man Who Wasn't There See
Thursday. State Theater. 2, 4:30, 7 &
9:30 p.m.

Tuesday

Handel's "Messiah" See Sat. 2 p.m. Sidewalks of New York See Friday
... .. . . .\ .... .... ..> .:.. .... .........................^ ........ .~:... . ...:......vL .\ .... : L"::.:. . .: :A:... ....:": ... . . . v.:...:: :":":"A:A"
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i: :

Happy Birthday!
Charley's would like to be the first to
congratulate you with a free meal Just bring
along a friend and proper ID, and select your
fjworite entree from our famous menu. Its
just our way of saying
T Congratulations
and thanks for
CharleyS celebrating with us.

L

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Saigon Garben
Dine-In & C -Out
Vietnamese & Chinese Cuisine
1220 S. University (at the corner of Forest)
Sun-Thur.
11 am to 11 pm
Fri
11 am to 11 pm
P. .Sat
11:30 amto 11pm
734 747-7006

courtesy of Dimension Fil

The new Line
Chinese Cuisine
Iai garden Specia
rHo in
Hunan
(313) 995-1786 szech
116 S.Main St. style
(Bewteen W. Huron and Manj
Washtenaw) Carryout vegetar
andareservations dishe
accepted. 1
L Open 7 Days 11 am-11 pm

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MEXICAN CAFE
Ann Arbor's Finest
Mexican Style Food!
Michigan's Largest Selection of
Gourmet Hot Sauces & Salsas!
WE DELIVER! Call 761-6650
'til 1 a.m. Sun. - Tues.
'til 3 a.m. Wed. - Sat. 333 E. Huron

J

Ashton Kutcher; James Van Der Beek, Dylan McDermott and Usher fail to be as cool as A-Rod in "Texas Rangers."

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