U U U -W -W W -4 The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine - 2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. Magazine - Thursday, November 29, 2001 'Poor White Trash 2': Without a doubt the worst film ever made Random has never gotten the 'sensation' etc Movies from the vault By Jeff Dickerson Daily Arts TV/New Media Editor People often claim to have seen the worst movie of all time. The title fol- lowing the claim is usually a recent box office flop like John Travolta's space odyssey "Battlefield Earth" or a musi- cian-turned-actor vehicle such as Vanilla Ice's movie debut "Cool As Ice." Declarations of the worst films ever projected on the big screen are spewed out incessantly, oblivious to the exis- tence of "Poor White Trash 2," the true recipient of the crown. Never heard of it? We'll get into the particulars later, but first a history lesson for the ill- informed. The original "Poor White Trash," alternately referred to as "Bayou," was released in 1957 with the warning, "Due to the abnormal subject matter depicted in 'Poor White Trash,' no-one under 17 will be admitted, and armed policemen will be on hand at all times!" The advertising campaign worked; perverts hbopped on their trac- tors and headed to the local drive-in to catch a glimpse of some Cajun skin, but many were let down by the lack of any risque nudity. Seeing a pre- "Mission Impossible" Peter Graves battle backwoods cretins wasn't enough to pull the film together, as Oscar voters overlooked the low budget swill when the Academy Awards rolled around (David Lean's "Bridge on the River Kwai" was the years big winner). Hot off the heels of the economical horror flick "Don't Look in the Basement," director Sherald Brownrigg was poised to conquer the world of trashy cinema. For his next project the audacious filmmaker revis- ited the not so cult classic "Poor White Trash." Plot elements remained the same; a newlywed couple ends up in the woods with its grubby inhabitants in the ultimate battle of good and evil. The narrative is as exciting as a visit to Grandma Johnson at the nursing home. Time would be better spent watching a block of ice defrost in the microwave. Aesthetically tle film is less than pleasing. Most of the lighting looks as if the crew used flashlights to highlight' the characters. Locations are kept to a bare minimum in the interest of budg- et and it seems as though the director used his house for the majority of fihn- ing when his mom went off to the gro- cery store for some 2 percent milk and a bag of Iced Animals. The acting ... you can't even call it acting. Nothing about the film works and I stress the word "nothing." Save yourself, avoid this film at all costs. Should you even be able to find a copy of "Poor White Trash 2" on VHS at the closest Blockbuster or Mom & Pop video store, demand they remove it from the shelves in the best interests of their customers. The clogged toilet of a movie must be disposed of before any more inno- cent lives are subjected to the 90- minute bowel movement. United we stand. By Josh Wickerham Daily Arts Writer The Michigan Daily: Hey, is this Syreeta?. Random: Yes.. TMD: Hey, you've been randomly selected out of 40,000 students on. campus to take part in the Random Student Interview for Weekend, etc. Magazine. How does that make you feel? R: What would this be for? TMD: It would be for The Michigan Daily. How was your Thanksgiving? R: It was good. I got to go home and see my family and see friends. TMD: How is school looking right now? R: Stressful. I'm ready for these last few weeks to be over. TMD: How many pounds was your bird? R: I have no idea. TMD: Did you celebrate Buy Nothing Day this year? R: Yeah. i TMD: So did you spend time with friends and family instead of going to the mall? R: Yeah, I spent time with family. Because a lot of people couldn't get in on Thanksgiving day, we did stuff on Friday. TMD: What do you think about killing Osamma Bin Laden? . R: I don't care for killing anyone. I don't think it's morally correct and I don't think it would solve or cor- rect anything that happened on Sept. 11. I think it would make us look just as bad as he did. TMD: Bush wants to go after Iraq and North Korea. So, do you think we should go kill Sadam Hussein? R: No, for the same reason that I said we shouldn't kill Osamma bin Laden. TMD: But do you think we should take him out of power? R: If we could take some of his power away without causing bodily harm, we should. TMD: Have you ever heard any- body say McDonald's? R: Outside of the restaurant, no. TMD: Do you ever experienced the joy of cola? R: Yeah. TMD: Are you sure you're not relating to some Britney Spears phe- nomenon instead? R: What are you talking about? TMD: Slogans. Is Dr. Pepper a part of you? R: No. TMD: Have you ever gotten "the sensation" when you bite into a York Peppermint Patty? R: (Laughing.) No TMD: Have you ever eaten a Reese's the wrong way? R: Can't say as I have. TMD: Of course you haven't! There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's. Were you swept up in the insanity of the Taco Bell gordita revolution? R: I sure was. I love gorditas TMD: Did you take part in the failed Chalupa revolution? R: No. Just the gorditas. TMD: Have you ever just done it? (Laughing hysterically.) No. TMD: Well most people have, and I have and I get sick of people telling me to do it over and over again when there are better things to do. Speaking of which, do you watch TV? R: Yeah. TMD: How much would someone have to pay you for you to throw away your television for a year'? R: A yearJ? Wow. It would take $10,000. TMD: TV is that important to you? R: TV is vital. What do you do at nights when there's nothing better to do? You watch TV. TMD: No, I interview random students. ODo you know what the adjective snarky means? R: No idea. TMD: Thank you and goodnight. A Christmas Story See Friday. Michigan Theater. 3 p.m. Free. The Man Who Wasn't There See Thursday. State Theater. 2, 4:30, 7 & 9:30 p.m. Sidewalks of New York See Friday. State Theater. 2:30, 4:45, 7:15, 9:15 & 11:30 p.m. Waking Life See Thursday. State Theater. Midnight. MUSIC Handel's "Messiah" The UMS Choral Union, Ann Arbor Symphony Orchestra and four opera singers perform this beloved Christmas classic. 8 p.m. Hill Auditorium. $12-20. 764-2538. THEA TER "Stop Kiss" See Thurs. $25. A LTERNA TIVES "A Matter of Degree: Abstraction in Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs. "Japanese Fisherman's Coats of Awaji Island" See Thurs. Sunday CAMPUS CINEMA Amelie See Theater. 8 p.m. Thursday. Amelie See Thursday. Theater. 5:30 & 8 p.m. Michigan Eyes Wide Shut I've never been more unhappy to see CG. Michigan Theater. 7 p.m. Gridlock'd Roth and Pac. Michigan Theater. 6 p.m. The Man Who Wasn't There See Thursday. State Theater. 7 & 9:30 p.m. Sidewalks of New York See Friday. State Theater. 7:15 & 9:15 p.m. ALTERNA TIVES "A Matter of Degree: Abstraction in Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs. "Japanese Fishermen's Coats of Awaji Island" See Sat. Robert Redford teaches Brad Pitt how to get chicks once he gets older in "Spy Ga THEATER "Stop Kiss" See Thurs. 2 p.m. $20. ALTERNATIVES "A Matter of Degree: Abstraction in Twentieth Century Art" See Thurs. "Japanese Fishermen's Coats of Awaji Island" See Sat. Monday BOOKS U-M Alum Reads Sarah Messer, a grad- uate of the University's program in cre- ative writing and poetry, will read from her comical new poetry collection, "Bandit Letters." Shaman Drum, 8 p.m. Free. 662-7407. CAMPUS CINEMA Michigan CAMPUS CINEMA A Christmas Story See Friday. Michigan Theater. 3 p.m. Free. The Man Who Wasn't There See Thursday. State Theater. 2, 4:30, 7 & 9:30 p.m. Sidewalks of New York See Friday. State Theater. 2:30, 4:45, 7:15 & 9:15 p.m. MUSIC BOOKS Renowned Renaissance WomanReads Grace Paley, uber-famous poet, femi- nist, pacifist, honorary University degree recipient and sometimes anar- chist, will read this evening at the Michigan League Ballroom. 7:30 p.m. Do not miss this event under any cir- cumstance. Michigan League Ballroom, 7:30 p.m. Free. 647-6471. Amelie See Thursday. Theater. 6:45 & 9:15 p.m. Michiga ar Waking Life See Thursday. State Theater. 9:30 p.m. Cinema Slam Michigan Theater. 7 p.m The Man Who Wasn't There See Thursday. State Theater. 2, 4:30, 7 & 9:30 p.m. Tuesday Handel's "Messiah" See Sat. 2 p.m. Sidewalks of New York See Friday ... .. . . .\ .... .... ..> .:.. .... .........................^ ........ .~:... . ...:......vL .\ .... : L"::.:. . .: :A:... ....:": ... . . . v.:...:: :":":"A:A" .. ................ ...... ........ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .. . . iti : } i: : Happy Birthday! Charley's would like to be the first to congratulate you with a free meal Just bring along a friend and proper ID, and select your fjworite entree from our famous menu. Its just our way of saying T Congratulations and thanks for CharleyS celebrating with us. L i Saigon Garben Dine-In & C -Out Vietnamese & Chinese Cuisine 1220 S. University (at the corner of Forest) Sun-Thur. 11 am to 11 pm Fri 11 am to 11 pm P. .Sat 11:30 amto 11pm 734 747-7006 courtesy of Dimension Fil The new Line Chinese Cuisine Iai garden Specia rHo in Hunan (313) 995-1786 szech 116 S.Main St. style (Bewteen W. Huron and Manj Washtenaw) Carryout vegetar andareservations dishe accepted. 1 L Open 7 Days 11 am-11 pm '1 - 4 MEXICAN CAFE Ann Arbor's Finest Mexican Style Food! Michigan's Largest Selection of Gourmet Hot Sauces & Salsas! WE DELIVER! Call 761-6650 'til 1 a.m. Sun. - Tues. 'til 3 a.m. Wed. - Sat. 333 E. Huron J Ashton Kutcher; James Van Der Beek, Dylan McDermott and Usher fail to be as cool as A-Rod in "Texas Rangers."