8A - The Michigan Daily - Monday, April 8, 2001
Daily Arts ournament
ARTS
'The Simpsons' take down
'Seinfeld' in TV Tournament
6 Scooby Doo
2
The Simpso ns ;S Seinfeld.
W 1
2 Te Sirpos
.....:
Courtesy of FOX
2 The Simpsons
5 Seinfeld
7 The Cosby Show
By Ryan Blay
Daily Arts Writer
It was a wild ride, but we finally
have a winner in our first ever Daily
Arts TV Tournament. If you're won-
dering who won, you'll just have to
read the whole story.
First, we'd like to thank guest ana-
lyst Solei Moon Frye for taking time
out of her empty schedule to be our
special final four analyst. It has been
really nice catching up with her with-
out having to turn on an "E! True
Hollywood Story." Truly, we are
blessed.
OurFinal Four matched up cartoon
favorites "Scooby Doo" and "The
Simpsons," and hit NBC sitcoms
"Seinfeld" and "The Cosby Show."
Guaranteed a cartoon versus live
show final, questions arose: What
makes the best show? More impor-
tantly, does FOX deserve to win any-
thing, even a fake tournament?
In the cartoon-cartoon match-up,
"Scooby Doo" took an early lead. It
appeared as though it would be coast-
ing to the championship. But "The
Simpsons" haven't. lasted 12 years on
the air without some heart. Homer
put Scooby and Shaggy to shame in
the pie-eating contest, and Maggie,
fresh off of shooting Montgomery
Burns, left to a standing ovation after
she shut Scrappy Doo up. In post-
game interviews, all Velma could say
was "jinkies." Scooby had this to say
about his performance against the
Simpsons: "Rart was rough, and Risa
was too smart for Relma. Marge's
rookies tasted rike Scooby Snacks!
Scooby Doobie Doo!"
On the other side, "The Cosby
Show" wasn't giving an inch to
"Seinfeld." Theo, Denise, Vanessa
and Rudy Huxtable caused a lot of
mischief for the older "Seinfeld" cast
members. And even Jerry himself
had to concede that Bill Cosby is one
of the funniest comedians ever. But
even when Newman and Jerry started
bickering, and megalomaniacal
owner George Steinbrenner fired
general manager J. Peterman, the
Soleil Moon Frye offers up a thumbs up to our winner "The Simpsons."
depth of the "Seinfeld" bench
(George's parents, the Soup Nazi,
Puddy and Uncle Leo) proved too
much for the Huxtables. In the end,
"The Cosby Show" was smacked
down like Michigan State.
The starting lineup for "Seinfeld"
in the final: Guards George
Costanza, Elaine Benes, forwards
Cosmo Kramer and Jerry Seinfeld.
They unconventionally choose not to
have a fifth player. "The Simpsons"
countered with big Homer at center,
Marge and Bart at forwards and
Maggie and Lisa in the backcourt.
Twins Patty and Selma Bouvier were
ready to step up and bang with any-
body.
The big game in one word - bru-
tal. George left the game in the sec-
ond half with an unspecified
neurosis, and Maggie was pulled
once executive producer Mike Scully
realized she couldn't walk, much less
dribble. Jerry controlled the flow for
his team, often slowing the game
down to ask what the deal was with
New York City cabbies. He was
silenced when Comic Book Guy pro
nounced the series finale "worst
episode ever." After this, everyone
from Professor Frink to Nelson to
rarely seen cops Eddie and Louie
had their way with the NBC quartet.
The Simpsons were crowned the vic-
tors.
After the showdown, FOX head
honcho Rupert Murdoch awarded the
Elisabeth Filarski trophy to the men
behind "The Simpsons:" Matt
Groening, Sam Simon and James
Brooks. Unfortunately, we couldn t
award them the real Elisabeth as
promised, because her jerk boyfriend
threatened to harm us. At least
they'll enjoy the prize until she's
booted off in a few weeks. Either
way, it's been a privilege to present
pictures of Elisabeth and wacky tour-
ney action. Join us next year when
shows like "That's My Bush" an
"The Fighting Fitzgeralds" will t
and topple "The Simpsons" to claim
the crown. Until then, so long and
congratulations to FOX for finally
winning something.
George and Jerry can't help but blame Kramer for their big loss to "The Simpsons." INSET: Elizabeth Filarski thankfully
makes her final appearance for Daily Arts. Does anyone care?
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