8A - The Michigan Daily - Monday, April 8, 2001 Daily Arts ournament ARTS 'The Simpsons' take down 'Seinfeld' in TV Tournament 6 Scooby Doo 2 The Simpso ns ;S Seinfeld. W 1 2 Te Sirpos .....: Courtesy of FOX 2 The Simpsons 5 Seinfeld 7 The Cosby Show By Ryan Blay Daily Arts Writer It was a wild ride, but we finally have a winner in our first ever Daily Arts TV Tournament. If you're won- dering who won, you'll just have to read the whole story. First, we'd like to thank guest ana- lyst Solei Moon Frye for taking time out of her empty schedule to be our special final four analyst. It has been really nice catching up with her with- out having to turn on an "E! True Hollywood Story." Truly, we are blessed. OurFinal Four matched up cartoon favorites "Scooby Doo" and "The Simpsons," and hit NBC sitcoms "Seinfeld" and "The Cosby Show." Guaranteed a cartoon versus live show final, questions arose: What makes the best show? More impor- tantly, does FOX deserve to win any- thing, even a fake tournament? In the cartoon-cartoon match-up, "Scooby Doo" took an early lead. It appeared as though it would be coast- ing to the championship. But "The Simpsons" haven't. lasted 12 years on the air without some heart. Homer put Scooby and Shaggy to shame in the pie-eating contest, and Maggie, fresh off of shooting Montgomery Burns, left to a standing ovation after she shut Scrappy Doo up. In post- game interviews, all Velma could say was "jinkies." Scooby had this to say about his performance against the Simpsons: "Rart was rough, and Risa was too smart for Relma. Marge's rookies tasted rike Scooby Snacks! Scooby Doobie Doo!" On the other side, "The Cosby Show" wasn't giving an inch to "Seinfeld." Theo, Denise, Vanessa and Rudy Huxtable caused a lot of mischief for the older "Seinfeld" cast members. And even Jerry himself had to concede that Bill Cosby is one of the funniest comedians ever. But even when Newman and Jerry started bickering, and megalomaniacal owner George Steinbrenner fired general manager J. Peterman, the Soleil Moon Frye offers up a thumbs up to our winner "The Simpsons." depth of the "Seinfeld" bench (George's parents, the Soup Nazi, Puddy and Uncle Leo) proved too much for the Huxtables. In the end, "The Cosby Show" was smacked down like Michigan State. The starting lineup for "Seinfeld" in the final: Guards George Costanza, Elaine Benes, forwards Cosmo Kramer and Jerry Seinfeld. They unconventionally choose not to have a fifth player. "The Simpsons" countered with big Homer at center, Marge and Bart at forwards and Maggie and Lisa in the backcourt. Twins Patty and Selma Bouvier were ready to step up and bang with any- body. The big game in one word - bru- tal. George left the game in the sec- ond half with an unspecified neurosis, and Maggie was pulled once executive producer Mike Scully realized she couldn't walk, much less dribble. Jerry controlled the flow for his team, often slowing the game down to ask what the deal was with New York City cabbies. He was silenced when Comic Book Guy pro nounced the series finale "worst episode ever." After this, everyone from Professor Frink to Nelson to rarely seen cops Eddie and Louie had their way with the NBC quartet. The Simpsons were crowned the vic- tors. After the showdown, FOX head honcho Rupert Murdoch awarded the Elisabeth Filarski trophy to the men behind "The Simpsons:" Matt Groening, Sam Simon and James Brooks. Unfortunately, we couldn t award them the real Elisabeth as promised, because her jerk boyfriend threatened to harm us. At least they'll enjoy the prize until she's booted off in a few weeks. Either way, it's been a privilege to present pictures of Elisabeth and wacky tour- ney action. Join us next year when shows like "That's My Bush" an "The Fighting Fitzgeralds" will t and topple "The Simpsons" to claim the crown. Until then, so long and congratulations to FOX for finally winning something. George and Jerry can't help but blame Kramer for their big loss to "The Simpsons." INSET: Elizabeth Filarski thankfully makes her final appearance for Daily Arts. Does anyone care? 'U Discover The Michigan Student Assembly's Advice Online Instructor and Course Evaluations Available on the Web: www.umich.edu/~msa/advice i The mission of MSA's Advice Online is to encourage high quality teaching and instructor accountability at U of M. Questions? Email: advice-online@umich.edu Michigan Student Assembly University of Michigan 3909 Michigan Union Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Phone: (734) 763-3241 ff youzthink ?nu "re pregnant. cal us-w aeni, we rare. PROBLEM PREGNANCY "ELP 975-54357 Any turns, any day,24 hours. fulfly confident al. Se rvIng Stud i~t *1..o mmmffmj m