4B - The M~igan Daily -We ekend*C. Magazine- Thursday, N~chm 15, 2001f
The Michigan Daily- Weekend, etc. Ma
Continued from Page 36
"That's the heavy rope, good luck
making it five minutes with that
one," 165-pound NCAA qualifier
Charles Martelli informed me.
Wonderful, the last thing I needed
was an additional challenge. While
most of the team looked like a bunch
of jumping beans, I lasted only about
45 seconds without goofing up.
After that I repeatedly started and
stopped as my fatigue grew exponen-
tially. I wasn't timing it but I do
believe that the jump rope session
lasted more like 8 or 9 minutes.
Quite possible, knowing whom the
"McFarland is famous for five
minute goes that last thirty minutes,"
125-pound NCAA qualifier A.J.
Grant told me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I
observed Olson, who is famous for
his incredible work ethic. The guy
simply didn't stop jumping the entire
time. No wonder he is the captain.
After we finished, I couldn't wait
to drink a cooler-full of water. I
couldn't imagine that this was only a
Aside from raw talent, there is a
distinct difference between an all-
league wrestler as I was in H.S. and
a collegiate stud. All day, I somewhat
dreaded the inevitable severity of the
afternoon's festivities. The
Wolverines wholeheartedly look for-
ward to the challenge and opportuni-
ty associated with another practice.
Even on off days, this team wants to
"It's hard to keep this group off the
mat," McFarland said.
So as 3:30 p.m. rolled around, I
knew that, like it or not, practice
would be a doozy. Lucky for me,
assistant coach Kirk Trost took me to
the equipment room to get me head-
gear and kneepads. As we returned, I
caught the end of a speech
McFarland was giving to his team.
"We gotta keep those grades up,"
McFarland emphatically told his
troops. "Last term was excellent but
we haven't quite reached our team
goal of a 3.0."
I was somewhat inspired by the
possibility of providing my practice
opponent with a surprising amount
of competition. - but it was not to
Though all the members of the
team have advantages in techniques,
athletic ability, conditioning and
pound for pound strength, there was
one advantage that I'd possess with
my partner. James Gonzalez is a
back-up 149-pounder. But despite
my 15-pound advantage, Gonzalez
pounded on me all practice long. On
our feet, Gonzalez would set up his
shots and shoot in on my legs in a
split second. I could barely react
even when I knew he was coming at
me. He finished his takedowns
extremely fluidly, something that is
critical to McFarland.
"If you see a guy stopping, you
show them how to drive," he said.
"The faster you drive through the
easier it is to score points and finish.
It requires explosive power."
As far as I am concerned Gonzalez
is a very explosive wrestler.
Wrestling behind NCAA-qualifier
Mike Kulcyzcki, Gonzalez only
appeared in one varsity match this
See PRACTICE, Page 58
tc From the Vault
Mary-Kate deserves her top bilinj
Check out our new international rates.
*" Koala Calling
After a typical grueling workout for the wrestling team, Andy Hrovat and coach Joe
McFarland make their way to the lockerroom.
_. - ---,
Buy the Sunday paper. Read the dassif teds.
Send your resume. Wait.
Log on.e ire.
At the first Virtual Career Fair, sponsored by your Alumni Career Center, you'll find job
opportunities in business, engineering and information technology. No wading through
the paper. lust the best jobs for the best people.
If you want a great job, the Virtual Career Fair is the place to go.
March 12-23, 24 hoUrs a day:
Stay tuned to the Web site for registration details.
Increase your chances of getting recruited: fill out
resume early, beginning March 5. ALUMNIASSOCIATION
Co-sponsored by the University of Michigan Business School, School of Information, UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
College of Engineering, Michigan eProNet and the Ann Arbor IT Zone.
Step right up to the timeless stars
of power pop. In Cheap Trick's world,
guitars have five necks, melodies and
noise blend perfectly on every song,
sweaters with checkerboard patterns
are cool and guitar geekl/god Rick
Nielson is the Master of Ceremonies.
Forget Kiss if you want the kings of
trashy-glam, midwestern rock and
roll - Live at Budokan is a recording
of the 1978 Japanese arena concert
that made Cheap Trick into self-pro-
claimed "rock monsters."
In just ten songs, energy leapt right
off the record (the only format in
which to truly
appreciate all of
Live at the music's
nuances) and into
Budokan the hearts of late
Cheap Trick 1970s kids bored
Sony/Columbia 1979 with Led
Reyuewiedbay Zeppelin. This is
Daily Arts Writer what the
Sheila McClear teenagers of yes-.
teryear were lis-
tening to in their El Caminos after the
Friday-night football game was over
and the partying really began. Live,
chief songwriter and guitarist
Nielson usually grabs a different gui-
. tar from his colorful arsenal for each
song, and has been known to casually
hand fans a guitar to take home.
Cheap Trick is particularly adept at
turning catchy pop songs into rip-
roaring, arena rocking anthems.
"Surrender" remains the best exam-
ple of such, with a longing chorus of
"surrender, surrender! but don't give
yourselfaway." On "I Want You to
Want Me", Rob Zander's high, flut-
tering voice pleads, "I'll shine up my
old brown shoes! put on a brand new
shirt/ get home early from work! if
you say that you'll love me." On
"Goodnight," one can only imagine
what the female fans were thinking
when Zander suggestively sings, "do
you want to do a number with me?"
Are Cheap Trick (particularly
Nielson-Zander) melodic geniuses a
la Lennon-McCartney, or are they
just a hard rock band with glitter
coursing through their veins? No one
will ever know for sure. However, on
a clear night, if the moon is out and
you look just right, you can see
Cheap Trick hard at work somewhere
along the road, still gigging away in
Austin, Detroit or Tokyo.
By Jeff Dickerson
TV/New Media Editor
Let's face it, Mary Kate was "Full
House." Had it not been for the tal-
ents of the younger sister, the long
running sitcom would have failed
within a few weeks (a la "The
Michael Richards Show"). How was
a show featuring bad acting, horrific
writing, and asinine characters able
to maintain its stronghold on
American culture for eight seasons?
Sure that mullet-toting Dave Coulier
was amusing at times, but his car-
toon voices grew tiresome after a
few minutes. Simply put, Mary Kate
was why America watched televi-
Analyze the opening credit
sequence from their hit sitcom "Full
House" and look at the order in
which the names appear. When who-
ever it is who sings the theme song
belts out, "when you're lost out there
and you're all alone," look at the
order of the names of the twins. Why
does Mary Kate come first? She is
the dominating Olsen. In all but one
of the 192 episodes of "Full House,"
Mary Kate has more screen time than
her sister. Episode 52, featuring
Stephanie moving into Michelle's
room to escape her maniacal older
sister DJ, was the one show in which
Mary Kate did not consume the most
screen time. Unfortunately, the more
talented Olsen twin had a run in with
pneumonia and was unable to act in
her usual Shakespearian fashion.
Their future endeavors were no
different from their early work. The
The Olsen twins smile pretty for the camera while their hands get immortaliz
Olsen twins are as strong a:
with hit movies such as "Bil
Dad" and "Switching G
They've starred alongside so
Hollywood's brightest actors
Steve Guttenberg to Martin
Yet deep within, a terrible sece
Sister kept Ashley from winnii
By Lyle Henretty
Mary-Kate Olsen, let me tell you, is a fame-monger
and a hanger-on and several other hyphenated words
that I simply can't publish in a family oriented paper.
She is loathsome and should not be on television, chil-
dren's videos, picture books, and, for the love of all that
is holy, she should not be part of a lucrative Walmart
clothing campaign. She is an untalented rube that has
been riding the eloquent coattails of her uber-talented
sister, the lovely and charming Ashley Olsen.
Ashley was the first hired for the star-making turn as
Michelle Tanner on the Emmy-winning pantheon of
family television shows, "Full House." Yet Ashley's
happiness was placed in a strangle hold by her Joan
Crawford-esque shrew of a mother (a woman this
reporter would sooner destroy with a staple gun than
have a mocha latte with). Mommy Destroy-Ashley's-
career-ist held the show's producers hostage with insane
demands about how it was "too much work" for a one-
year-old girl, and how both daughters should take turns,
simply because they look alike.
Oh, boo-hoo, Mrs. Olsen, cry me a frickin' river.
She's acting, not working in wheat field! How hard is it
to look beautiful for the camera (which she certainly
did). How many breaks for "feeding" and "napping"
does one one-year-old need? Yet the spineless produc-
ers caved under the tyrannical pressure of Mary-Kate's
"agent." Ashley's solo career was usurped by the lifeless
slug that was her sister.
How much mail do you suppose ABC received about
this? How many people furious over the bait and switch.
When Ashley was on screen, giving the thumbs up and
saying "dude" (an ad-lib, which puts her on par with
Robin Williams and Jonathan Winters) my television
sparkled like a diamond that had been spit-shined by a
man with sparking siliva. Yet the drab, unintelligible
Mary-Kate played her part as if by gunpoint, making
even the most plesant sub-plots with Joey and Uncle
Jesse play like amateur night at an amateur theater in
While the young Ashley was taken in by the star
power of her fellow players (Candice Cameron, my
God!) and her sudden rise to stardom, she was virtual-
ly unaware of the havoc her mother and twisted sister
wreaked on her blossoming career. Why do you think
she never won an Emmy? Who should they give it to,
her or her sister? How come she never got married? Her
sister scared her suitors away, for Ashley could have
nothing without Mary-Kate's evil approval. (Yes, I
know she's only 13 years old, but you miss my point.)
Now that the stone pillar that is Ashley has just
launched her own pre-teen magazine, it will come as no
shock to you that Mary-Kate has joined her talented,
adorable sister on the cover. Ashley, instead of allowing