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October 03, 2000 - Image 4

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The Michigan Daily, 2000-10-03

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4 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, October 3, 2000

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How to get a bank offyour back ... and other lessons

420 Maynard Street
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
Edited and managed by
students at tfhie
University of Michilgan

Editor in Chief
Editorial Page Editor

Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of
the Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not
necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily.

U' needs to investigate dire allegations

I'm from Ann Arbor. I have a t-shirt which
says that. White cotton, blue letters, simple.
Essentially the best item of clothing I own, the
$9 piece of fiber, to those who matter, can say a
lot. Edible sorority maidens usually tend to dis-
agree with me about the
profundity of this haute.
couture epitome. I
know because every
time I see a 20th Centu-
ry Fox walking out of
the washroom at a cafe
or something and I
make eye contact, she
turns right around and
cachinnates her ass offr
in giggles. It's as close
as I will ever get to _
pleasing a woman phys- Waj
ically. If she had thrownS
in a comment about my Syed
mother, showed me the The Kj
Bebe-finger, pulled out Kama4utra
an A K-47 fol dable ________
assault rifle out of her
Prada handbag and pumped 18 rounds of
kappa kappa gamma in me, trust me, it
wouldn't get any worse. It's a pretty sad story,
eh. Here's another one.
MIT, that paragon of tech academia, gradu-
ated this geek I went to school with and packed
him off to a PhD. spot at Imperial College,
London. Considering that he's a) Pakistani and
b) an engine grad student, he was pretty broke
when he got there. Evidently, his bank in
Boston messed up the transferring of his
account to the bank in England, and the poor
bastard, without much knowledge of this, wrote
out a bad check.

Now, before the rest of the story, a word
about the Brits. Sure, they ruled the largest
empire ever and invented rock and roll and
miniskirts and tampons and all that, but they
can't bank for shit. The Bank of England is bet-
ter known as the Fat Royal Whore of All Cen-
tral Banks. Its rules make Alan Greenspan look
sexy and the Federal Reserve come across as a
philanthropic yet risque Green Party stronghold.
The rule applied to my friend was the three
time processing fee regulation. If a check
bounces (cheque, in the Queen's Dictum), Brit
banks process it two more times and basically
end up charging you thirty pounds each time.
In essence, you pay 90 pounds when you
should be paying only 30 for a faulty check. Its
murder, my friend told them. F-off lad, was the
message he got from the manager of Midlands
Bank. Off to the lawyer. F-off bloke, was the
message he got from the attorney. Nothing
doing. It's in the rules. So is kicking your
mom's Brit ass, my friend said, and stormed
out. But like all good things, the revelation
came in time. It took him to the court, where he
headed off to the notary, presented the proper
documents, and got his name changed.
Officially baptizing himself as "Midlands
Bank Are Right Bastards," he walked back to
the Midlands Bank manager and told him that
his name change should be updated, that all the
statements and correspondence the bank sent to
him should be addressed to Mr. Midlands Bank
Are Right Bastards, and that if they did it any
other way, he was going to sue their Brit ass
after reenacting the Battle of Britain with their
mothers and sisters. Ending: The Brits at Mid-
lands cancelled the charges and asked him to
change his name back.
Yes sir, I have a bunch of them anecdotes. I

could talk about this other guy who did a night
on the town enhanced by some serious con-
trolled-substance fornication and hit a donkey
(yes, donkeys abound in Pakistan - roadkilling
them is the unofficial national pastime) when he
was flying back home in the Batmobile. He did
not notice that there was this asinine corpse
lying on the hood of his car till his dad pointed
it out to him in the morning, so fubarred was
the state of his state ... I could go on.
I could discuss the fact that all in all, the
Wisconsin game ruled and the GAP boards on
the Diag deserved annihilation. That that Pene-
lope Cruz chick in the Woman on Top flick sin-
gle-handedly and double-breastedly made the
movie very viewable. That the Olympics are
too much of an athletic fuckfest for developed
nation-states with sponsor opulent sports pro-
grams, where nobleness bends over for Nike
and where NBC's real purpose in bringing us
the games is to proliferate global concord and
not Comerica adverts. Sure, that would be very
Ann Arbor, wouldn't it? Very liberal arts, very
cutting edge, very Daily.
But I am the bastard son of reality, and even
though this entire pg.4 echelon was supposed
to be a sportive aberration from the usually
embittered shit I publish, Kevin Heisinger
deserves mention. Kevin, a School of Social
work graduate student, died last August. He
died because he was beaten to death and he
died because bystanders failed to notify the
police. Recently, the incident has inspired state
legislators to propose good Samaritan laws in
Michigan. For Kevin, lets hope we have some-
thing to root for other than the Henson-Terrell
connection when the season ends. Cheers.
- Waj Sved can be reached
via e-mail at wajsved umich.edu.


H ere at the University, scientific genetics, ma
knowledge is highly valued. Sci- between the g
ence aspires to unlock the mysteries of cell anemia a
life and explain the world around us. inherent resista
But scientists must also adhere to an Collins, dire
ethical standard during research. Human Genoi
Recent allegations charge that a scien- said, "Dr. Nee
tist associated with the University field of huma
broke this standard. first to introdu
Allegations have surfaced regarding principles, w
the late Dr. James Neel and his scien- granted." Lik
tific work among the Yanomami, an dean of theI
indigenous South American tribe, in school stated t
the 1960s. These accu-
sations include the Allegations have
deliberate spreading of
a measles epidemic surfaced recently
which killed an
unknown number of regarding the late
Allegations put Dr. James V. Neel
forth in the upcom in
book Darkness in 1 and his scientific
Dorado, by Patrick
Tierney, claim that work among the
Neel deliberately used
a dangerous form of Yanomami, an
ith msles vaccine ,
with, the intent of idgnu ot
sparking an epidemic. ,u
According to the book, American tribe, in
researchers "refused to
provide any medical the 1960s.
assistance to the sick
and dying Yanomami,
on explicit order from
Neel. He insisted to his colleagues that the University
they were onl there to observe and The University
record the epi emic and that they must its goal of pro
stick strictly to their roles as scientists, safe research a
not provide medical help." directive, the L
These allegations were disturbing with any possil
enough that, "Its scale, ramifications et.
and sheer criminality and corruption ... While the
is unparalleled in the history of anthro- enhanced huma
pology," Prof. Terry Turner of Cornell be known if he
said in a letter to Louise Lamphere, the a physician, to
president of the American Anthropolo- pursuit of scic
gy Association. laudable goal
In Neel's defense he has con- used in pursu
tributed immensely to the field of tempered by etl

king the connection
enetic cause for sickle
nd the accompanying
ance to malaria. Frances
ctor of the National
me Research Institute,
1 was the father of the
n genetics. He was the
ce a long list of bedrock
hich we now take for
ewise, Allen Lichter,
University's medical
hat, "Jim Neel was one
of the most distin-
guished faculty in the
150-year history of
this medical school."
While the truth
behind these accusa-
tions has not yet been
ascertained, the
process to understand
the allegations must
begin now. As Neel
was affiliated with the
University, it would
be in the University's
best interest legally,
fiscally and ethically
to begin an inquiry at
once. The truth must
be found before the
reputation of a note-
worthy scientist, the
discipline of anthro-
pology and possibly
is irreparably tainted.
y should remain true to
viding responsible and
.nd in the course of this
University needs to deal
ble skeletons in its clos-
work of Dr. Neel has
an understanding, it must
violated his first oath as
"first do no harm." The
entific knowledge is a
, but the methodology
it of this goal must be
hical considerations-

1I don't know how many more people have to die
before we come to terms with the fact that
guns are for killing.'
- Clementine Barfield, president and founder of the
local, non-profit organization, Save our Sons and Daughters.


Gender is not a
factor in admissions
I am writing this in response to Scott
Newell's letter to the Daily ("Affirmative
Action Deserves Support," 10/2/00) to
express my anger and disbelief at his com-
ment directed towards women. How dare he
imply that as a woman, without affirmative
action I would simply not be here!
How dare he imply that as a woman I in
some way needed special help to get me
into the University. Like most people on
this campus, I attend this school because of
my intelligence and my commitment to
work hard to achieve my goals. I agree we
should all stand up and support our Univer-
sity, but don't support its defense of a
legalized method of reverse discrimination.
Don't tell the minorities of this campus
that the only reason they are a student at
the University is because of special consid-
eration given to them because of some
exterior feature, not what they as an indi-
vidual bring to this campus.
Be respectful and
continue the
tradition of 'M' fans

Saturday's game. Having interacted with
numerous academic institutions as a mem-
ber of the Michigan Marching Band, I am
increasingly concerned with the representa-
tion of these schools at athletic events by
their fans, specifically those of the Big Ten
I've witnessed beer being splashed on
Band members, cans striking peoples'
heads, stones tossed at bodies and count-
less obscenities shouted just because we're
the ones in Maize and Blue. It's dishearten-
ing to witness any action that tarnishes the
reputation of this university, especially
when one has seen other universities fall
victim to such behavior. It's nice to come
home to Ann Arbor after an experience like

Illinois, believing that such immature,
obscene and inappropriate behavior will be
left behind.
The 1997 National Championship was
"sweet" because it was won with the class,
dignity, character and discipline that define
the University. Call it "snobbery," "arro-
gance," or "pride," this element of Univer-
sity tradition is what makes it great to be a
Michigan Wolverine.
Please respect and continue this tradi-
tion - and have fun while doing so! Go


Drug checkpoints violate civil rights

I magine driving home at night. You
see a man holding an orange sign
that says "Police Checkpoint - Stop
Ahead.' You slow down and come to
a stop behind the car in front of you.
Every two or three minutes, you move
a car length ahead. When you
a proach the front of the line, the
oficer promptly demands to see your
license and registration, waves his.
flashlight around inside your car and
walks around it, giving
it a good three-times- The drug
over. All the while he's
got a dog sniffing your System i
This atrocious situa- extreme,
tion is no mere night-
mare, as the that viola
Indianapolis City
Police has, since 199 ,persons
set u six random drug
checkpoints and Amendmi
stopped over 1,000
people. The stops last
about five minutes and the police
officers try to make sure that no more
than six or seven vehicles are stopped
at one time. James Edmund, who felt
his rights violated by these stops,
sued the city with the help of the Indi-
ana Civil Liberties Union. A federal
trial court found in favor of the pro-
gram, but the U.S. Seventh Circuit
Court of Appeals found the program
unconstitutional. The City of Indi-
anapolis will now ask the Supreme
Court to reverse the ruling when they
plead their case today.
The crux of the case is whether or
not the program fits within the cur-
rent interpretation of probable cause.
Checkpoints along the border of the
U.S. and Mexico for the purpose of
curbing illegal immigration are legal,
as are checkpoints that ensure imme-
diate safety (such as sobriety check-
points and roadblocks in response to a
bomb threat). However, the Circuit
Court ruling likened the drug check-
points to setting up "a metal detector
outside each person's home ... in


The drug roadblock system is an
extreme measure that violates a per-
son's Fourth Amendment rights. Prob-
able cause is discarded under this
program, as the police are able to stop
cars for no reason other than the sus-
picion that anyone may be transport-
ing drugs. The police need no search
warrants or even suspicion of wrong-
doing: the program treats everyone as
a suspect.
'roadbock If the police could
legally do this at
s an roadblocks, why
would they not have
measure probable cause to
suspect any person
tes a walking down the
street of criminal
rourth activity? Probable
cause touches many
ent rights. issues. With the pro-
posed interpretation
of probable cause,
the FBI would be able to suspect any-
one with Internet access of using his
e-mail program for illegal activity. It
would, therefore, be able to use its
questionable and easily abused Carni-
vore program, which is currently in
testing, to screen incoming and outgo-
ing e-mails at random.
There is more to the issue of
checkpoints than personal privacy.
The dissenting opinion of the Circuit
Court states that decentralization of
the criminal justice system must be
taken into account when ruling on
whether or not random drug check-
points are legal. The Supreme Court's
acceptance of the appeal by the City
of Indianapolis, however, means that
decentralization cannot be an issue:
The high court will now decide the
constitutionality of the drug road-
The Supreme Court needs to rule
against the random drug checkpoint
system. A ruling in favor of the drug
roadblocks would pervert the meaning
of probable cause, discarding every:

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I would like to express my
ment with some Michigan fans'

behavior at

Social responsibility in a job? Think of Che

S econds before the Bolivian army exe-
cuted him on October 9, 1967, Ernesto
"Che" Guevara turned to the sergeant who
had volunteered for the job: "I know
you've come to kill me. Shoot, coward, you
are only going to kill a man," he reportedly
For Guevara, only "a man" was going to
die - not Che Guevara, hero of the 1959
Cuban Revolution, patron saint of leftist
guerrillas worldwide or the man Jean-Paul
Sartre would proclaim "the most complete
human being of our age."
Guevara communi-
cated that same self-
effacing ideal in the '
letter he left for his a4
five young children, to
be read upon his death:
"Your father has been a
man who acted accord-;
ing to his beliefs and
certainly has been
faithful to his convic-
tions ... Remember
that the Revolution is Nick
what is important and
that each one of us, on Woomer
our own, is worthless. ktt
AL - -11 - . .-1.......n

the career ambitions of a few privileged
students then, well, tough. "Who has the
right to say that only ten lawyers should
graduate per year and that 100 industrial
chemists should graduate? (Some would
say that) that is dictatorship, and all right:
It is dictatorship."
During a similar talk at Havana Univer-
sity, Guevara called upon students to
choose vocations in the context of the Rev-
olution's needs rather than according to
their personal desires. Cuba needed its best
and brightest to be engineers, not journal-
ists; and the University's departments
would be expanded or contracted in light
of those needs. "...One has to constantly
think on behalf of the masses and not on
behalf of individuals ... It's criminal to
think of individuals because the needs of
the individual become completely weak-
ened in the face of the needs of the human
Like many of the last century's commu-
nist leaders, Guevara was unapologetic
about the types of policies mandated by the
"dictatorship of the proletariat." But where-
as so many Soviet officials merely paid lip
service to egalitarianism and personal self-
sacrifice, Guevara wasn't a hypocrite.

family was living on a special food supple-
ment, he had it eliminated. If one of the
kids got sick, his wife Aleida wasn't
allowed to take his car - the gas in it was
the people's and it wasn't supposed to be
used for personal purposes.
Thirty-three years after Guevara's death,
the world remains in desperate need of
people who "think on behalf of the masses
and not on behalf of individuals." A lot of
students talk about choosing a socially
redeemable career, but this idealism is too-
often smothered by the lure of a salary only
a corporation can provide.
The anniversary of Guevara's death is the
perfect opportunity to do a little honest
reflection on how deep our obligations to
the rest of humanity run and how we're
going to fulfill them. The challenge Gue-
vara extended to Cuba's university students
also extends to the people getting ready to
meet American Express Chairman/CEO
Harvey Golub today or the representatives
from Merrill Lynch tomorrow.
Can that duty to the rest of humanity be
fulfilled by making small, periodic donh-
tions to a charity of your choice and/or giv-
ing some canned food away at
Thanksgiving? Guevara didn't think so and

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