100%

Scanned image of the page. Keyboard directions: use + to zoom in, - to zoom out, arrow keys to pan inside the viewer.

Page Options

Download this Issue

Share

Something wrong?

Something wrong with this page? Report problem.

Rights / Permissions

This collection, digitized in collaboration with the Michigan Daily and the Board for Student Publications, contains materials that are protected by copyright law. Access to these materials is provided for non-profit educational and research purposes. If you use an item from this collection, it is your responsibility to consider the work's copyright status and obtain any required permission.

February 17, 2000 - Image 17

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 2000-02-17

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.


- - r - - -- - -- --

10B -lhe Michigan Daily - ekend, etc. Magazine - Thursday, February 17, 2000
WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
laughnetnet
Are you stressed out with midterms and papers? Well this site is for you. A comprehensive collection of
humor, and jokes ranging from the college environemnt to the workplace. The site also comes with different
photo collections, cartoons and bloopers Almost everything you could think of (and some you wouldn't) are
available on this site. To lighten up before crunch time comes around, check out laughnet.net.

0

The Michigan Da - Weekend,-et

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GIRL OF M

iBabv. I knowv I scre"A up.
I still don't know how I forgot about
Valentine's Day, but I'm so very sorry I
did. Believe mc, girl. I feel more remorse
than the blind man who cannot see the
sunrise.
I should havxe been rakiun. plans for
months, dreaming up ways to make you
happy. to shoo ou u the only one
for me. I know I Thod haxe been mk
ing dinner rescans. ehsne jew-
elr\ and orderinta fiw B;t I!r scrcxxed
up.
Baby. I'm doxxn on m knees. Can ou
fori e mc?
(a lou serch xor bart for a tate of
that sweet honey lmxe that axe once
shared'? ('an you pl ee depths of
xour silken soul fo a hr: o merca to
mend m broe heart ' k% rl all I
ned ianter hanc to make xOuoa
me.
I promise I wxon't makL the same mis-
takes twxice. I'm a newx man, baby. and
I' got m priories tnaight In the
mu' ic theatie of life. ihe aruee of mx
dreams has our name m bihi hns
You're m queen. and m 'our inden-
tured sera ant.
Il'i be the Rhen toa rSaur. the
('ark to a oui LoiK the Ike to aour Tina
-except the onix thin hitting xur lae
wil be mx tend.:r ksses
Girl, xou like Phi Coius Then cixe
me one more night ju:t one more
nisght. so I can treat o rictw l'1 show
von the light and oui loe a il be out 01'
l'll pick you up rig on time. pre}y
ladx, and I'l say. "ionigh belong to us''
I xiii kiss x our hand and compliment
your sparklinc ex es ard lustrous har
Being a gentleman. I a' l not mention out
loud xour curx aceous bodx but, baby. x'ou

know I'll be appreciating that saucy flair
of your hips.
I will gently open the passenger-side
door of my car for you and, once you slip
into the seat, I
will softly close
it. You will be
impressed with
the clean interior{
IfmV '89 Dodge
Spirit because I
x ill haxe just
aacuumed earl ir
m the day'. When
I turn the key in
the ignition. I I
xok oxer at aou
and . B ChisK la
I'd traxel to the
ends of the earh
\\e ail drixe
to dinner at the finest restaurant and I ill
treat you to the most extrxagant selee-
tions on the menu. including Moons
Oxer Mv Hanmmy We ii order a hot
fude sundae for dessert. and I Ill feed
.ou the cherri. whisperinn. 'A sAweet for
mv sweet'
A tter pavin the check, I awill leave our
waxaier a tvo -- no. a three dollar tip and
oull smile approv ingly at my wealth
:id generosity. As I take xyour hand in
mine, IllI say "Girl. there's not enough
monex in the world to buy the beauty of
:our smile."
After dinner. we will take a walk
throuch the streets of the dow ntown area.
\\ hen you grow cold. I ill ofter you my
leather jacket. And s I xrap it around
your slender shoulders. Ill mumble.
" 1mmm. that's funn.' and look puizzled.
When you ask what's w rong, I'll respond,
"I didn't think this jacket would fit over

your wings, because truly you are an
angel."M
I will proceed to serenade you with the
'50s doo-wop classic, "Earth Angel," and
you will wonder to vourself, "Is this real-
ly Chris Kula that I'm with, or is it Jo-Jo
from the smooth R&B duio K-Ci and Jo-
Jo."
Rest assured. lovely lady it is indeed
me, and I sing only for you.
We will return to my house only to
find it peaceful and quiet. for m_ house-
matues haxe gone rock 'ni' bowling for the
night. I xx ill lght candles for you and
burn fraci'ant incense and you xx il begin
to feel your hearm saxel xith passion. I
xill cixe you a seductie ned that says.,
"Yes nix dar'linc, I feel ii. too."
I ax il pop the orkfomnthe xx inc I put'-

chased at Kroger's earlier i
pour two glasses without s
It will taste tart and allurin
luscious lips. As I sit down
the couch, I will slowly
through your hair and wh
light Meirlot. love is best se
temperature"
Once we have finishec
wine. I will take the clas
them aax fron the couch
not crush them. I will as
what kind of music woul
hear right now?" You
and say. "I'd lo'c some An
ma be the Indi (ils.
barmv kiss your Theek :
bad. we're listeninc to Mar
As "Sexual I ealiric bea

0

I

ZEMKE
Continued from Page 68
just compared getting a bad grade to
a devastating. traumatic event --
someone beinc xiolated. Those two
things aren't ex en in the same sport,
let alone the ballpark. But go ahead.
drop them in the same lineup with a
random comment like that."
"OK, but how can love be an
overused four-letter word? It con-
quers all. If anything, this world
needs more love."
"Yeah, it does. Believe me, the
world took another helping of nega-
tivity instead of loading up on sone-
thing positive. But don't try and
spread love too thin."
"Excuse me"?"'
"Like I'm saving, the more you
use a strong word lightly the more
you demean it. Girls do this all the
time. They'll sign something, 'Love,
such and such' or 'Ohhh, I just
loooove that red tank top' or some-
thing else annoving like that.,,
"So, they're just being feminine."
"But they're taking so much away

from the word. I mean. I say I oxe
someone when I talk about my fai-
ilv. I -ureli say I loxe something. It'
not like you have strong emotional
ties to an object that happened to
make your day a little more conve-
nient.
"I think you're taking yourself a
little too literally, kid.
"Oh. gimme a break. If people
paid a little more attention when
they talked, they'd have less to take
back. There'd be far less mixed sig-
nals or misunderstandings.
"Come on, now! You don't think
anybody here's that dumb'? At least.
I'm pretty sure no one here is
inbreed."
"OK, you have a point. I'm not
saying people here need the First
Amendment to protect their stupdi-
ty.
"So what are some words that
aren't used enough?"
"Y'know, the basics - pkease,
thanks ... Good job.
- Jon Zem/ke can be reached at
jzemlke(.Umllich.edu.

'I FEEL
Maru 11, .INI
NO ARditu'.li

A Benefitforthe AnnArbor Summer Festival
Call for tickets (734) 764-2538
Tickets are also available at the Burton Memorial
Tower Ticket Office, at the Michigan Union Ticket
Office, at all Ticketmaster outlets, or by calling
Ticketmaster at (248) 645-6666. Concert tickets
range from $25-$60.
NEWS "~ 9-

READ THE DAILY.
ITS GOOD FOR YOU

'4.

Back to Top

© 2020 Regents of the University of Michigan