4 - The Michigan Daily - Wednesday, February 17, 1999
U#{w £kbiun &|{g
420 Maynard Street HEATHER KAMINS
Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Editor in Chief
daily.letters@umich.edu
Edited and managed by JEFFREY KOSSEFF
students at the DAVID WALLACE
University of Michigan Editorial Page Editors
Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of the majority of the
Daily's editorial board. All other articles, letters and cartoons do not necessarily reflect
the opinion of The Michigan Daily.
Things to do w
I t can happen to any student. Say you've
read ahead in the assigned reading. Say
you've already covered this sort of infor-
mation in another class. Or just say you're
hen
there isn't a
not yourself that day
last thing you can
keep your mind on.
We all do things in
class to keep our-
selves .,entertained.
Even the most dili-
gent students let
their minds wander.
Even your profes-
sors, when they were
our age, got bored
one day and doodled
in the margin of their
notebooks. This is an
attempt, to codify
and bring order to
the world of lecture
games.
(Editor's note: The
and a lecture is the
Out to eat
James
Miller
Miller
on Tap
Dining Center proposal is flawed
"Well, I was just going to say, like, I
think that, um, like this has a lot to do with
like, society and the way it like, um, like
does things and the way society treats like,
people. Does that makes sense?"
That's money in the bank right there. For
extra fun you can play with the person next
to you. Have each of you pick an imbecile
and a certain word. The person whose
imbecile used the word most often wins.
Listen careful. Small brains have fast
tongues.
The Cutting Session. This is another one
to play in discussion with a friend. Start a
fake rivalry between the two of-you. I used
to play this game with my friend Aaron in
philosophy class. It goes something like
this. He raises his hand and makes a point.
Immediately raise your hand so you get
called on next. When the GSI calls on you
say "Well, I think the Aaron makes a good
point for someone of his intelligence. I
think (blah, blah, blah.) Did you follow
that, Aaron? Need smaller words?"
Your partner raises his hand and
responds: "I disagree with the butthead to
my right, who probably couldn't find a
bowl of rice in a Chinese restaurant. I
think Descartes probably was Maoist.
What do you think of that, toolbox?"
(Blows his nose on your backpack.)
Repeat this pattern, getting more child-
ish and cruel sounding with each cycle.
This is an especially fun game to play in
a class you plan on dropping, as you can
have the fight escalate into fake fisticuffs
and racial epithets ("Die, honkey scum!").
Try and knock over some of the furniture
if you can.
Interlocking Names. My friend Rudi
helped invent this game, or at least he
helped perfect it. The object is to think of
two names that can be put together to
nything to do
make one long name. Steve Martin +
Martin Luther = Steve Martin Luther.
Pretty simple. The less the two names have
to do with each other the better. Benedict
Arnold Palmer and Isaiah Thomas Aquinas
are good. Bruce Lee Bollinger and
Woodrow Wilson Pickett are better.
The highest point totals are reserved for
three or more names put together. The
more-names used, the greater the skill of
the player. Charlie Parker Lewis Carol
Burnett, for example.
What's My Line? This is a game to play
with a friend again, but it can be played in
either discussion or lecture, if you're dar-
ing.
The object of this game is to listen to
someone finish a thought or a sentence,
then add the logic or comical conclusion.
P.J. O'Rourke used to play this game with
the Jimmy Carter autobiography.
For example, the hump in the Polo out-
fit, tassel loafers with a briefcase opens his
mouth: "Um, is this stuff gonna be, like,
on the midterm."
Response: "Because if I have any non-
LSAT related information in my brain, I
might die."
Raver party girl disco biscuit: "I just
think people need to be more aware of
their own personal force field of life power
energy. Mmm hmm. Totally. Phat beats."
Response: "I thought of that myself. I
know you're a professor and all, but have
you ever taken 'E'? It's killer. Can I leave?
I forgot what class this is."
Professor: "This is one of the most
important themes in the novel."
Response: "It's what I wrote my thesis
on. I wipe my ass with student evaluations.
Prepare to receive the Gospel!"
-James Miller can be reached over
e-mail atjamespm@unmich.edu.
SOME KNCKLEHEADxs
01
L ast week, Housing Director William
Zeller and interim Resident Hall Dining
Services Director William Durell presented
the Michigan Student Assembly with plans to
construct a new dining hall - Hill Area
Dining Center - that would replace the four
existing Hill area dining halls. The proposed
facility - a 50,000-square-foot hall built
between the Alice Lloyd and Mosher Jordan
residence halls - would cost nearly $1.5 mil-
lion and take three years to build. The facility
would be a sort of food court, including
restaurants similar to the Michigan Union in
addition to the cafeteria. The existing dining
halls would be transformed into classrooms
and academic advising offices. This proposed
plan by University Housing could have many
implications for student life at the University.
Because many of the details, such as the
method for funding the project and the logis-
tics of the plan are still unclear, MSA should
oppose to the proposed construction of the
Hill Area Dining Center.
One of the important decisions that stu-
dents choosing to live on campus make every
year is what residence hall to live in. Part of
this decision process is associated with the
accessibility of dining halls - especially dur-
ing the Michigan winter, when snow makes
travel quite challenging for students. The
existing dining halls provide most students
with meal services in their building - an
asset demonstrated last month when nearly
two feet of snow covered the ground and wind
chills dipped below zero.
The Hill Area also currently hosts four liv-
ing and learning communities: the 21st
Century Program, Lloyd Hall Scholars
Program, Women in Science and Engineering
and the Undergraduate Research and
Opportunity Program. Part of these communi-
ties' attraction for students is the ability to
bond through the constant interaction that
occurs in the living quarters. The dining halls
play a large part in the social sphere of these
programs. Introducing the Hill Area Dining
Center would take away an important aspect
of these living-learning communities - and
perhaps take away some of the appeal of these
programs.
According to this proposed plan, if the
University renovates the existing four dining
halls, at a cost roughly the same as building
the new center, the room and board rates
would increase. But the proposal maintains
that the new dining center would allow the
rates to remain the same. This assumes the
center will earn profits to cover the expenses
of construction - an assumption that is not
guaranteed. Even if rates did not increase due
to the new dining center, one has to question
who will pay the costs of converting the exist-
ing dining halls to classrooms and advising
offices.
Health issues are also involved. The
University dining halls, while not always pop-
ular, attempt to provide nutritious food that
students may not find as easily at the proposed
food court, which likely will feature fast food
chains. The dining halls also accomodate stu-
dents with specific concerns, such as provid-
ing vegetarian dishes. It is unclear whether
this plan would require cash at some sites and
a M-Card at another. Also, one all encom-
passing dining hall could seriously congest
the Hill campus. Since the plan has many
holes and details are currently sketchy, MSA
should not endorse such a plan.
author would like a chance to cover his
behind. To anyone reading this piece who
is currently or has been a professor of
mine, or to anyone reading this who might
have a say in the way my shaky future
turns out, please do not regard this article
as an admission of inattention or lack of
interest in any course or professor.
Sufficiently backpeddled, we continue.)
The Word Count. This is a personal
favorite, so I'll talk about it first. This only
works in discussion section and preferably
one that has lots of talking in it. Pick an
imbecile. Pick your favorite imbecile.
Now pick a word such as "like" or "soci-
ety" or a whole phrase like "I was just
going to say..." Count the number times in
one stretch your mark says one of these
words.
SCOTT ROTHMAN
Higher Education
Bill would attract better teachers
n choosing a career, students usually
weigh a couple of factors: The amount
of personal enjoyment a career will offer
and the financial benefits it will provide.
For a long time, students have been
deterred from pursuing a career in educa-
tion because they find teaching to be'
either personally or financially unreward-
ing. The result is a shortage of good
teachers. But a new bill introduced in the
state Senate could help change the incen-
tive for students to pursue a degree in
education.
The new bill promises up to $12,000 in
loans distributed over four years to col-
lege students pursing degrees in educa-
tion at state universities. In return, the
students must agree to teach at an "at
risk" school for at least four years. The
bill will not only reward these specific
schools with better teachers, but it will
reward the teachers with better careers as
well.
Most importantly, the new bill will
attract more students to teaching.
Teaching is one of the most important
professions, yet potential teachers are
reluctant to pursue a degree in education
due to the lack of financial incentives.
With the $12,000 in loans, the bill will
help to encourage potential teachers to
pursue a degree in education.
Furthermore, by requiring that stu-
dents who receive the loans teach at "at
risk" schools, the bill will increase educa-
tional opportunities for students across
the state.
The State School Aid Act of 1979
identifies "at risk" schools based on a
and the school's average scores on stan-
dardized tests. These "at risk" schools
with lower standardized test scores are
often in poorer districts, where new
teachers are unlikely to go.
Still, these schools need new and
enthusiastic teachers the most. Placing
teachers in "at risk" schools may also
help educational inequalities that exist in
the public school system. Many poorer
schools fail to attract the best teachers,
who might find resources more plentiful
in wealthier districts.
With college admissions becoming
more competitive and financial aid for
college being handed out based on stan-
dardized test scores, these new teachers
are greatly needed in the "at risk"
schools. The new bill will help to put
more teachers in these schools and
increase the opportunities available for
the students.
Finally, not only will the new bill
reward the students in "at risk" schools, it
will reward the teachers as well. Working
in "at risk" schools, teachers will be able
to see the benefits of their hard work - a
reward that is even better than the finan-
cial incentives offered by the bill.
A good education is priceless in
preparing students for the future. And to
provide a good education, good teachers
are needed. The new bill will help by pro-
viding more teachers. The financial
incentives can attract those students who
already considered education, and even
those who never considering it for finan-
cial reasons. Once good teachers are
committed, the bill helps by putting those
Clinton's immoral
acts should be
examined thoroughly
To THE DAILY:
There has been much debate about
President Clinton's conduct concerning his
"personal" matters. Although both sides
have presented many strong points in
defense of their stance on this matter, the
media in general has sought to ignore or not
portray the true circumstances surrounding
this issue, instead choosing to write this off
as a partisan attack on the president, or
more commonly, as the whole issue being
about sex.
While the first argument is up to one's
personal opinion, the latter is not. Of course
we as Americans value our privacy and
thus, even the privacy of the president, but
this virtue should not avoid the facts. Below
are some questions which the media obvi-
ously did not care about even though they
may have helped change the atmosphere of
the debate.
How many papers have expounded on
the fact that Clinton had Monica Lewinsky
perform oral sex on him the day he met
her? She even claimed that he didn't even
know her name for months. Instead, the
media is satisfied with Clinton's explana-
tion that it was a long friendship that cul-
minated in these activities. What about the
fact that NBC chose not to air an interview
with Jane Doe number 5, Juanita
Broaddrick? In this eight-hour interview,
she claimsthat while Clinton was the attor-
ney general of Arkansas, he sexually
assaulted her. What about the fact that the
head of NBC News is a radical Clinton
supporter? What about the English woman
who claimed (and her claim is documented
with the state department) that Clinton
raped her while he was a Rhodes scholar at
Oxford, a claim she submitted immediately
after the incident? What about the Miss
Arkansas scandal, where Clinton took
advantage of her?
What of the "hundreds" of women that
Clinton bragged about sleeping with to
Lewinsky? How about Geraldo's claim
that no one had been prosecuted for per-
jury about sex? What about the fact that
Clinton had a Marine officer drive
Lewinsky to the White House from the
Pentagon when he wanted to meet her?
What about the fact that Lewinsky was
pleasuring him while he was on the phone
with other world leaders?
These questions have been avoided by
the mainstream media and deserve to be
asked. People have been swayed by their
emotions, led by a media clamoring for;
public support, like so many other issues
that the media has chosen to champion. A
parting question for anyone who still cares
about sexual harassment laws: Can witness-
es lie about "sex" when the whole case is
based on whether or not a person had a ten-
dency to elicit sexual relations from a sub-
ordinate employee? By God, Lewinsky was
21 years old!
JOSEPH KIM
c~punni nf ntKTsernV
I-.-~ p
I
1
PESENS TZE
FoRw
WIL
Dance review did
not apply modern
standards
TO THE DAILY:
In the name of all people who sincerely
enjoyed the music accompanying the Merce
Cunningham Dance Company's performances
last weekend, I loudly protest Julie Munjack's
reactionary review ("Merce music overpow-
ers, 2/15199). Like many music critics,
Munjack is not alone in suggesting thatmusic
should still be held up to eighteenth- and nine-
teenth-century standards. At the end of the
twentieth century, it seems that many ears -
with or without earplugs - still haven't
caught up with our century's sound world.
Far be it from me to imply that Munjack
- and perhaps many Cunningham audience
members who were "chased" out of the the-
ater by "terrible music" - might have bene-
fited from the many educational events
arranged by the University Musical Society in
connection with the Dance Company's Ann
Arbor residency. But Munjack should at least
give credit where credit is due. Unfortunately,
she did not even mention the names of the
composers who collaborated with
Cunningham, including John Cage, Brian
Eno, Stuart Dempster, David Tudor and the
Dance Company's musical director Takehisa
Kosugi. Cunningham and Cage collaborated
for half a century. Their ideas have influenced
artists working in every creative medium.
Their attitude toward the independence and
interaction of music and movement demon-
strates one of the most radical developments
in the performing arts. Cunningham's support
of composers working with live electronic
music has been uncompromising. This
"cacophonous," "intolerably loud," "irritating
and obnoxious" and "unbearable" music does
not have to be merely "an obstacle."
And by the way: the music I heard was
also quiet, humorous, beautiful, mysterious,
playful, indeterminate and highly interesting.
Cage and Cunningham believed that by expe-
riencing sound and movement in unconven-
tional ways, our perception could be chal-
lenged, and eventually changed.
My final gripe with Munjack's review is
that she implies that Cunningham and his
dancers did not receive "the applause they.
enced both ended with explosive applause
and standing ovations. Munjack's omission
of this detail makes me wonder if she might
have been one of those poor listeners who
ran horrified from the Power Center with her
hands over her ears.
AMY BEAL
SCHOOL OF MUSIC
Race-based
admissions are
unfair
TO THE DAILY:
In July of this past year when the U.S.
District Court denied the motion to intervene
to the many would be co-defendants in the
lawsuit challenging the University's admis-
sion procedures justice was undoubtedly
served. The judge fairly refused the motion of
Intervention of Right because he concluded
that the proposed defendant-intervenors failed
to assert any right to have the current admis-
sion procedures continue. They also failed to
show (as the Intervention of Right motion
must) that that they were not adequately rep-
resented by the existing parties. So imagine
my disgust when I read in the Daily that two
more groups were attempting intervene.
The arrogance of people like Lee Felarca is
appalling. Who is he to represent the
University and its applicants by attempting to
become a defendant? In his haughtiness he
contends that intervention "is a matter of
democratic right." Well I propose that it is
every University applicant's right to equal pro-
tection under the law as provided by the
Fourteenth Amendment.
Felarca continued making irrational claims
in stating that the U.S. District Court's denial of
the motion to intervene is "racist" and part of
a larger "pattern of discrimination by the
court."
Nothing is more discriminatory than giv-
ing students of color priority over others in
admission to college..In fact, it is insulting to
minorities. The University is saying that they
don't have enough faith in them as a group to
be admitted on their own merit.
JEREMY PETERS
14
I