128 - The Nvigan Daily Weeken Azine - Thursday, January 1999
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Weekend, Etc. Column
*tThe Michigan D4 Weekend Ma
Tanning salons inject color, style into pale, 1
JUDGE NOT, LEST YE BE JUDGED
While witch hunts -- political, social
or otherwise - are nothing new, never-
theless it must be admitted straight-away
that their advents bring with them always
new tragedies. All those poor folk who
fall victim to the seductive charms of
hearsay, easy answers, and basic human
prejudice are led by their own mispercep-
tions to commit all manner of enormity.
We look back on past witch hunts and
wag our wiser heads over the barbarities
perforned in the name of God, national-
ism or justice, lamenting the limited per-
ceptions of past peoples. And we sigh
sadly over our inability to change past
occurrences, to alter or to rearrange
events such that certain calamities would
be avoided; we sigh, and are elated by the
sense of superiority that comes with a
higher ethical rank.
Hold a moment, my friends. Witch
hunts are not a remote idea from the
glossy pages of high school history
books. While we stride like moral giants
from day to day, a deformed sort of hate-
ful sentiment has sprung up inexplicably
from the social ooze on this very campus.
As I feared, this distorted attitude has bred
blind prejudice; and worse still, has led to
the persecution of a blameless people.
I do not speak of race in particular -
in fact this people is the model of diversi-
ty, containing within it persons from all
worldly races and cultures. And yet I can-
not pretend that >d "
this group is not f
somehow a race
unto itself.
Indeed, it is this
very quality of"
unfamiliarity that
has helped feed;
the advocates of
the present univer-
sity-wide witch
hunt. Small-mind- ANDREW
ed students, MORTENSEN
wrapped carefully r
in the stupor of d-N E l
academia, come ANY)
across these alien characters, and at once
swing and Latin rhythms
Thursdays
"Anri Arbors best Swing event I"
designate this people contemptible.
As I've no desire to stir up more antipa-
thy against myself, I will oblige you: this
people is comprised solely of varsity ath-
letes at the University.
You laugh, but the truth of the matter, is
that college athletes in this city are an
oppressed group. Continually they are
forced to disdain classwork and travel -
at the expense of the university, no less -
all over the country in order to participate
in activities with the sole purpose of
claiming greater esteem for our prized
institution of higher learning.
What really inspired this selfless
defense of athletes and their misunder-
stood culture, is a few overblown inci-
dents that took place on the property of
one of our hallowed fraternity estates.
Varied sensationalistic reports would have
you suppose that the athletes involved in
the altercation maliciously destroyed
property and pilfered numerous items of
value from the philanthropic society of
brotherhood. But, truth be told, this is only
part of the story.
The accounts in the newspapers,
neglect several crucial details which,
when brought to light, not only acquit the
accused athletes but reveal their actions to
be as fundamentally noble and unim-
peachable as Bill Clinton's conduct-with
Monica Lewinsky.
Let us leap right into the muck and
tackle the distasteful episode involving
the television. According to media
reports, one athlete spitefully deposited
a television out of a third-story window.
I'll make no effort to avoid this fact: as
near as I'm able to make out, a televi-
sion was indeed heaved from said win-
dow by said athlete. (Note: The evi-
dence I present in this column is either
a) entirely fictitious, or b) entirely spec-
ulative. I therefore invite you to share
my opinion without regard for aggravat-
ing elements of truth.)
But to latch on to this fact is to miss the
forest for the trees.
What the selective depictions in the
papers omit is that the television in ques-
tion was aflame and endangering the very
structure of the fraternity itself. It was
only by virtue and consequent deed of the
athlete that the blessed house of iniquity
was saved from the scourge of fire. With
no thought for his own safety, he threw
himself upon the television, wrestled it to
the ground, and having gained mastery
over it, hurled it from the window to shat-
ter harmlessly on the ground below.
Next we come to the athlete's alleged
attempt at theft. This I dismiss as mere
melodrama on the part of the witnesses,
nothing more than contrived evidence
of malice. Let's not deny it: on the night
in question beer flowed freely. Who can
say just how altered the perceptions of
the witnesses were? (Allow me: in addi-
tion to beer, there was probably a heavy
intake of beer, not to mention subtle use
of beer, and the occasional glass of beer.
We know nothing regarding the alleged
hefty output of vomit.) Hence the com-
prehension of the witnesses is suspect,
and claims of PlayStations appearing
magically from the athlete's coat are
likely extant only in the minds the
intoxicated revelers.
And yet this athlete along with a pair of
his comrades were firmly punished for
their involvement in the altercation. Had
they not been athletes, they might only
have been arrested, like you and me. But
being an athlete means adhering to a
stricter set of rules, as you might well
imagine; and even the slightest hint of
wrongdoing is enough to call down the
clumsy hand of the law.
-Andrew Mortensen may be reached
via e-mail. Pbssibhy
admorten@umich.edu
By Elena Upson
For the Daily
Long-time Ann Arbor resident
Carrie Pierson rolled down the waist
of her faded jeans exclaiming,
"Look at this @#%* tan! It's awe-
some."
Pierson is one of many locals who
seem unusually bronzed for this
time of year. These tanned souls
haven't all escaped to faraway and
exotic sands to catch some rays -
rather they have flocked to one of
the many local tanning salons down-
town.
As you may have guessed, prime-
time tanning season has arrived as stu-
dents and locals pour into salons to
escape the winter blahs and gear up for
spring break. Various tanners and salon
employees said winter is the busiest
time of year for a number of reasons.
They report tanning can be therapeutic
for seasonal depression, Vitamin D
deficiency, skin disorders, acne and
even self-esteem.
State Street Beach tanning
employee and customer Chau Phan
explains, "Maybe it's psychological.
People feel more confident when
they are tan .... It's nice to feel
warm and glow after."
Patti Chase, an employee at
Tanfastic on Main Street, has been
in the tanning business for il years
and a customer for 20. She said she
agrees that people will tan for just
about any reason ranging from a
date, to a formal to going home for
the holidays.
While some salons such as State
Street Beach and South University
Avenue's Supertans rely mainly on
students for business, others like
Tanfastic and Southern Exposure
have a wide range of clientele. Kim
Barr, manager of Southern
Exposure on South University
Avenue, has served "young, old,
even people in their '60's and '70's."
Although people of all ages come
to tan, all of the salons admit that
much of their business comes from
females. Nevertheless, there are
some male customers. "Girls like
dark-skinned guys better and, I'm
going to Acapulco and I don't want
to be pale," said one male LSA
RICHARDSON'S
10 P"IC
sophomore, who wished to remain
anonymous. "The Michigan winter
did a number on my color!"
In order to accommodate the
influx of students who share this
sophomore's winter woes, most
salons advertise various packages to
encourage customers to continue to
work on their tans. Some locations
slash prices, others offer multi-ses-
sion packages while still others
entice first-time customers with
hefty discounts.
The services around town vary some-
what as well. At State Street Beach, you
will find tanning beds surrounded by
beach-inspired artwork and music.
Supertans also offers tanning beds as
well as "hex's," which have twice the
amount of bulbs as a regular tanning
bed, thereby cutting tanning time in
half.
Tanfastic has a wider selection of
32-lamp super beds as well as their
own set of hex's. They also offer
music.
While there are few major differ-
ences between the services available in
different tanning salons, Southern
Exposure is the only salon in Ann Arbor.
to offer high-pressure tanning.
Barr said high-pressure tanning is
much safer and faster than traditional
tanning techniques. High-pressure tan-
ning uses a filter to eliminate harmful
UVB rays so there is no chance of burn-
ing and it is less damaging to your skin,
Barr explained. In addition, Barr
claims, "After the first visit you'll see
tan lines. There's a major difference
and the tan lasts for about one month."
Even more impressive, Barr said,
is that one visit in a high-pressure
salon is equivalent to eight or 10
visits in a regular tanning bed.
Tanning booths, such as this one, make sure that students are simply moment
Pierson, a regular customer at
Southern Exposure, noticed a sig-
nificant tan after just three visits
and is "very satisfied." In fact, cus-
tomers at most of the salons seemed
quite satisfied with their tans.
Therefore, it's not surprising that
these salons have a large number of
regular customers. On average, reg-
ulars go tanning one to three times a
week at State Street Beach,
Supertans and Tanfastic. Regulars
also flock to Southern Exposure
about twice a month, employees say.
So why are people tanning so
often despite the much-publicized
health risks? Surprisingly, n
employees and customers be]
that the health risks are minima
non-existent. Phan claims that t
are no scientifically proven he
risks because "it's hard to elimi
other factors (that could c
health problems)." Besides,
claims that "everyone has sun."
Chase rationalizes her 20 yea
tanning as not harmful as wel
never over-expose myself so I'm
at risk. The sun is the source o
life so it's very beneficial."
The sun is not as beneficia
some people may think, said nati
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