128 - The Nvigan Daily Weeken Azine - Thursday, January 1999 i0 Weekend, Etc. Column *tThe Michigan D4 Weekend Ma Tanning salons inject color, style into pale, 1 JUDGE NOT, LEST YE BE JUDGED While witch hunts -- political, social or otherwise - are nothing new, never- theless it must be admitted straight-away that their advents bring with them always new tragedies. All those poor folk who fall victim to the seductive charms of hearsay, easy answers, and basic human prejudice are led by their own mispercep- tions to commit all manner of enormity. We look back on past witch hunts and wag our wiser heads over the barbarities perforned in the name of God, national- ism or justice, lamenting the limited per- ceptions of past peoples. And we sigh sadly over our inability to change past occurrences, to alter or to rearrange events such that certain calamities would be avoided; we sigh, and are elated by the sense of superiority that comes with a higher ethical rank. Hold a moment, my friends. Witch hunts are not a remote idea from the glossy pages of high school history books. While we stride like moral giants from day to day, a deformed sort of hate- ful sentiment has sprung up inexplicably from the social ooze on this very campus. As I feared, this distorted attitude has bred blind prejudice; and worse still, has led to the persecution of a blameless people. I do not speak of race in particular - in fact this people is the model of diversi- ty, containing within it persons from all worldly races and cultures. And yet I can- not pretend that >d " this group is not f somehow a race unto itself. Indeed, it is this very quality of" unfamiliarity that has helped feed; the advocates of the present univer- sity-wide witch hunt. Small-mind- ANDREW ed students, MORTENSEN wrapped carefully r in the stupor of d-N E l academia, come ANY) across these alien characters, and at once swing and Latin rhythms Thursdays "Anri Arbors best Swing event I" designate this people contemptible. As I've no desire to stir up more antipa- thy against myself, I will oblige you: this people is comprised solely of varsity ath- letes at the University. You laugh, but the truth of the matter, is that college athletes in this city are an oppressed group. Continually they are forced to disdain classwork and travel - at the expense of the university, no less - all over the country in order to participate in activities with the sole purpose of claiming greater esteem for our prized institution of higher learning. What really inspired this selfless defense of athletes and their misunder- stood culture, is a few overblown inci- dents that took place on the property of one of our hallowed fraternity estates. Varied sensationalistic reports would have you suppose that the athletes involved in the altercation maliciously destroyed property and pilfered numerous items of value from the philanthropic society of brotherhood. But, truth be told, this is only part of the story. The accounts in the newspapers, neglect several crucial details which, when brought to light, not only acquit the accused athletes but reveal their actions to be as fundamentally noble and unim- peachable as Bill Clinton's conduct-with Monica Lewinsky. Let us leap right into the muck and tackle the distasteful episode involving the television. According to media reports, one athlete spitefully deposited a television out of a third-story window. I'll make no effort to avoid this fact: as near as I'm able to make out, a televi- sion was indeed heaved from said win- dow by said athlete. (Note: The evi- dence I present in this column is either a) entirely fictitious, or b) entirely spec- ulative. I therefore invite you to share my opinion without regard for aggravat- ing elements of truth.) But to latch on to this fact is to miss the forest for the trees. What the selective depictions in the papers omit is that the television in ques- tion was aflame and endangering the very structure of the fraternity itself. It was only by virtue and consequent deed of the athlete that the blessed house of iniquity was saved from the scourge of fire. With no thought for his own safety, he threw himself upon the television, wrestled it to the ground, and having gained mastery over it, hurled it from the window to shat- ter harmlessly on the ground below. Next we come to the athlete's alleged attempt at theft. This I dismiss as mere melodrama on the part of the witnesses, nothing more than contrived evidence of malice. Let's not deny it: on the night in question beer flowed freely. Who can say just how altered the perceptions of the witnesses were? (Allow me: in addi- tion to beer, there was probably a heavy intake of beer, not to mention subtle use of beer, and the occasional glass of beer. We know nothing regarding the alleged hefty output of vomit.) Hence the com- prehension of the witnesses is suspect, and claims of PlayStations appearing magically from the athlete's coat are likely extant only in the minds the intoxicated revelers. And yet this athlete along with a pair of his comrades were firmly punished for their involvement in the altercation. Had they not been athletes, they might only have been arrested, like you and me. But being an athlete means adhering to a stricter set of rules, as you might well imagine; and even the slightest hint of wrongdoing is enough to call down the clumsy hand of the law. -Andrew Mortensen may be reached via e-mail. Pbssibhy admorten@umich.edu By Elena Upson For the Daily Long-time Ann Arbor resident Carrie Pierson rolled down the waist of her faded jeans exclaiming, "Look at this @#%* tan! It's awe- some." Pierson is one of many locals who seem unusually bronzed for this time of year. These tanned souls haven't all escaped to faraway and exotic sands to catch some rays - rather they have flocked to one of the many local tanning salons down- town. As you may have guessed, prime- time tanning season has arrived as stu- dents and locals pour into salons to escape the winter blahs and gear up for spring break. Various tanners and salon employees said winter is the busiest time of year for a number of reasons. They report tanning can be therapeutic for seasonal depression, Vitamin D deficiency, skin disorders, acne and even self-esteem. State Street Beach tanning employee and customer Chau Phan explains, "Maybe it's psychological. People feel more confident when they are tan .... It's nice to feel warm and glow after." Patti Chase, an employee at Tanfastic on Main Street, has been in the tanning business for il years and a customer for 20. She said she agrees that people will tan for just about any reason ranging from a date, to a formal to going home for the holidays. While some salons such as State Street Beach and South University Avenue's Supertans rely mainly on students for business, others like Tanfastic and Southern Exposure have a wide range of clientele. Kim Barr, manager of Southern Exposure on South University Avenue, has served "young, old, even people in their '60's and '70's." Although people of all ages come to tan, all of the salons admit that much of their business comes from females. Nevertheless, there are some male customers. "Girls like dark-skinned guys better and, I'm going to Acapulco and I don't want to be pale," said one male LSA RICHARDSON'S 10 P"IC sophomore, who wished to remain anonymous. "The Michigan winter did a number on my color!" In order to accommodate the influx of students who share this sophomore's winter woes, most salons advertise various packages to encourage customers to continue to work on their tans. Some locations slash prices, others offer multi-ses- sion packages while still others entice first-time customers with hefty discounts. The services around town vary some- what as well. At State Street Beach, you will find tanning beds surrounded by beach-inspired artwork and music. Supertans also offers tanning beds as well as "hex's," which have twice the amount of bulbs as a regular tanning bed, thereby cutting tanning time in half. Tanfastic has a wider selection of 32-lamp super beds as well as their own set of hex's. They also offer music. While there are few major differ- ences between the services available in different tanning salons, Southern Exposure is the only salon in Ann Arbor. to offer high-pressure tanning. Barr said high-pressure tanning is much safer and faster than traditional tanning techniques. High-pressure tan- ning uses a filter to eliminate harmful UVB rays so there is no chance of burn- ing and it is less damaging to your skin, Barr explained. In addition, Barr claims, "After the first visit you'll see tan lines. There's a major difference and the tan lasts for about one month." Even more impressive, Barr said, is that one visit in a high-pressure salon is equivalent to eight or 10 visits in a regular tanning bed. Tanning booths, such as this one, make sure that students are simply moment Pierson, a regular customer at Southern Exposure, noticed a sig- nificant tan after just three visits and is "very satisfied." In fact, cus- tomers at most of the salons seemed quite satisfied with their tans. Therefore, it's not surprising that these salons have a large number of regular customers. On average, reg- ulars go tanning one to three times a week at State Street Beach, Supertans and Tanfastic. Regulars also flock to Southern Exposure about twice a month, employees say. So why are people tanning so often despite the much-publicized health risks? Surprisingly, n employees and customers be] that the health risks are minima non-existent. Phan claims that t are no scientifically proven he risks because "it's hard to elimi other factors (that could c health problems)." Besides, claims that "everyone has sun." Chase rationalizes her 20 yea tanning as not harmful as wel never over-expose myself so I'm at risk. The sun is the source o life so it's very beneficial." The sun is not as beneficia some people may think, said nati 8-10 free swing lessons 10-2 dance the night away I TONIGHTI r Q' LOOK NO iR'C ER P6GRWUJTLE Not ,. NDr w5N UDENfs . THE LEAlGLUND D tP A GRE ZJDRRU PIS 14E PLACE ~fOyU .. 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