aIxz 3igram D"V
My God ... it's full of stars!
Stanley Kubrick's classic film "2001: A Space Odyssey" is coming
through Ann Arbor again. The magnificent film, complete with a
captivating story, soothing music and dazzling special effects years
ahead of its time, begins its week-long run at the Michigan Theater
today at 4:15 p.m. Shown in 70 mm, this is not an experience anyone
should miss. Student admission is only $5.
April 1, 1996
Martin's stupid 'Bilko' misfires
By Bryan Lark
Daily Arts Writer
Can you recall when Steve Martin
movies were actually amusing, if not
hilarious? Long ago, Martin's films,
like "The Jerk," "Roxanne," "Parent-
hood" and "L.A. Story," were original
comic masterpieces that kept audiences
laughing and critics praising.
The death knell for that era of excep-
tional Steve Martin films seems to have
soundedwith the release of"Sgt. Bilko,"
the most pathetic excuse for movie com-
edy in an extremely long time.
Recycled from a 1950s' television
series barely remembered by anyone
under the age of 50, "Sgt. Bilko" is the
Directed by Jonathan Lynn
with Steve Martin,
and Phil Hartman
At Briarwood and Showcase
story of the antics of smooth, gambling-
obsessed con man Ernie Bilko, as he
oversees the motor pool at Fort Baxter.
The motor pool is more like abetting
pool, with incessant, diverse games of
chance, such as dog racing, roulette and
tug-of-war with a horse. Inhabiting this
motor pool company are varied corrupt
misfits who fit easily into stereotypical
military categories: The naive, head-
strong rookie, the sassy second-in-com-
mand, the overweight soldier and even
the guy (Max Casella) who played
Vinnie from "Doogie Howser!"
Bilko presides over his platoon like
an innkeeper rather than a sergeant,
providing his men and women with
extended sleeping hours, plush accom-
modations and many forms of amuse-
ment, claiming that even the Army needs
Monitoring Bilko to keep him in line
is the dim-witted Colonel Hall (Dan
Aykroyd), who is about as good a su-
pervisor as Bilko. Blinded by childish
happiness and Bilko's lies, Hall ne-
glects to notice the illegal activity oc-
curring right in front of him.
With no regulations to weigh him
and his soldiers down, Bilko cruises
through life until his old nemesis, Ma-
jorThorn(Phil Hartman), arrives. Thorn
is a conniving weasel of an officer,
attempting to strike vengeance upon
Bilko for ruining his career many years
Sent by the Pentagon to survey the
progress of a new weapon at the base,
Major Thorn brings with him a team of
accountants to try and catch Bilko in his
embezzlement of the Army.
Thrown into the unentertaining mix
is the scathingly annoying Glenne
Headly, of "Dick Tracy" and "Mr.
Holland's Opus" fame, as Rita Robbins,
Bilko's long-suffering girlfriend, who
also cannot resist a good gamble.
From the moment this dull film be-
gins, it is obvious that Sgt. Bilko and his
crew of losers will prevail, making the
film not just tedious, but also thor-
Directed by formerly admirable di-
rector Jonathan Lynn, who gave the
world such superiorcomedies as "Clue"
and "My Cousin Vinny," the film at-
tempts to walk the tightrope of screw-
ball comedy but ultimately ends up
falling flat on its face.
There is absolutely nothing original
or innovative about the meaningless
"Sgt. Bilko." The film rehashes imag-
ery from "M*A*S*H" and "Private
"OK, guys. Let me get this straight: Now that's arms to the Contras and hostages from the Iranians."
Benjamin"; its minimal special effects
are not very special; and the script by
Andy Breckman, who also wrote for-
gettable trash like "IQ" and "Arthur 2:
On the Rocks," is a mess of cliches and
old jokes that is about as enjoyable as a
funeral home. In fact, funeral homes
are more fulfilling - at least there is
free coffee and something worthwhile
Slightly redeeming this film, obvi-
ously only made in the interest of
turning aprofit, is Phil Hartman, who
was the unsung hero of "Saturday
Night Live" for eight years and now
delivers much of the humor on
"Newsradio." Hartman does well
playing the malicious bad guy in a
world full of "nincompoops" and
"boobs"... yes, the film actually uses
As numerous characters in "Sgt.
Bilko" use the militaristic cry of "Hoo-
Ahh,"popularizedby Al Pacino in "Scent
Of A Woman," that Soup Nazi episo
of"Seinfeld"came tomind. Along thqg$
same strict, culinary lines, "Sgt. Bilko,"
being inane, unnecessary and insulting
to the intelligence of American movie-
goers, gets no soup.
"Wait, I thought this was Caddyshack!"
Neil rocks Palladium
Detroit goes wild for Motley Crue ex
Women sing with glee
Club plays variety of tunes at Hill shove
By Brian A. Gnatt
Daily Music Editor
Vince Neil is Motley Crue.
The singer's high pitched vocals, big
blond hair and, don't forget, the make-
up and spandex that all made Motley
Crue the hard rock powerhouse it was.
But after the band threw out Neil a few
years back and replaced him with a new
singer, the Crue failed miserably.
While Neil's solo career hasn't been
any more illustrious than the Crue's
since his departure, Vince Neil solo is
the closest thing you can get to the
original Motley Crue sound without a
In Motley Crue, as in most bands, it
is the vocalist who makes the band. Neil
was the voice of the band - in his
vocals and in his offstage banter. His
blond hair separated him from the other
black-haired greaseballs in the band,
and his attitude gave the band the balls
that made the Crue sell-out arenas for
almost a decade.
At Neil's Thursday night perfor-
mance at The Palladium in Roseville, it
was evident that guitarists, bassists and
drummers are replaceable-but a good
vocalist is not. Neil holds the aura to
Motley Crue, even though his former
bandmates hold the title to the name.
Opening with the Crue classic
March 28, 1996
"Kickstart My Heart," Neil's energy
and wild stage persona were in effect.
In ripped blue jeans, a white V-neck T-
shirt, a black Georgetown Hoyas but-
ton-down, a black headband and wrist-
bands, Neil was ready to rock. He
seemedhappy to be playing to the mixed
young and old audience, and continued
to tell the crowd how happy he was
throughout the show. "Detroit is like
home to me," he said repeatedly.
Neil slammed through mostly Mot-
ley Crue songs with a few of his own
songs mixed in, like "Sister of Pain"
and "You're Invited But Your Friend
Can't Come," in which he forgot some
of the trite words. He also played some
material from his recent studio album,
"Carved In Stone," like the rather dull
"Breakin' In the Gun."
But while Neil's solo material se-
verely lacks any merit on record and
sounds immensely better live, the audi-
ence, and Neil too, were clearly more
interested in the classic Motley mate-
BRIAN A. GNATT/Daily
Vince Neil played at the Palladium Thursday night.
rial. Neil and his band played through
the Crue classics "Home Sweet Home,"
"Red Hot," "Dr. Feelgood," "Same 01'
Situation" and "Girls, Girls, Girls" in
which he invited some of his new De-
troit friends on stage to dance. The
songs all sounded as good as if Motley
Crue were playing them, and Neil's
vocals were surprisingly solid.
For an encore, the band returned to
play the Crue classics "Wild Side" and
the glam rockers' first hit, "Live Wire,"
again tight and true to the originals.
Even though he didn't write any of
the Motley Crue songs (they were all
written by Motley bassist Nikki Sixx),
Neil still carries them as if they were his
own. He clearly marks his territory as
the only person who should be singing
Motley Crue's glam rock masterpieces.
By Anitha Chalam
For the Daily
On Friday night, the Women's Glee
Club gave their annual Spring Concert
for an audience filling up a small frac-
tion of the seats at Hill Auditorium. In
spite of the discouraging numbers, the
Women's Glee Club tried hard to give
a stellar performance.
The group did indeed perform the first
piece well, called "Shirei Shabbat (Sab-
bath Songs)," written by the conductor,
Theodore Morrison. Sung in Hebrew,
this four-part piece was especially ap-
propriate for a Friday night, the begin-
ning ofthe Sabbath. The piece as a whole
was beautiful, especially the first part,
"Yom Zeh M'chubad," which was very
lively with nice harmony.
Unfortunately, the "Sabbath Songs"
were the highlight of the evening. Next
on the program was a selection called
"Three Madrigals." All were sung in
English, and all were written by great
poets, yet the madrigals failed to move
the audience as the preceding song had
so clearly done.
Based on the poems of e.e.
cummmings, the third piece,
"Earthsongs," was the longest of the
night; by far, it was the worst selection
the Glee Club sang. Switching back
and forth between lively and mysteri-
ous tones, the song only drew attention
to the fact that it was long and not
After a brief intermission, the
Harmonettes,the 10-member acappella
subgroup of the Glee Club performed a
few of their favorite selections. Their
first piece, "Dancing Queen," by
ABBA, may have triggered nostalgic
thoughts in the minds of the some in
the audience, but very noticeably lacked
a lot of what made the version by
March 29, 1996
Benny, Bjorn, Agnetha and Anni-Fri
so popular. Their second piece, "Help!,"
also was lacking. The sound effects were
too loud and the vocals were too female.
The next piece, "When You Wish Upon
a Star," seemed a little fast, and the
syncopation didn't do anything for it.
The final selection, however, "Califor-
nia Dreamin'," was good, except for the
over-excitement on the part of .ose
doing the sound effects."
The entire Glee Club came back on
stage to sing a few African spil'tual
songs to conclude the evening. The first
one, "Elijah Rock," was sung a cappella.
Though it had a nice beat, it failed to
excite. "Set Down Servant," wlich
started with clapping and stomping, was
better. "There is a Balm in Gilead" was
slow and serious, while the. final piece,
"This Little Light of Mine," was fast and
lively; it was clearly the best of 4ll th
spirituals sung that night.
As is tradition, the Women's Glee
Club closed with the University alma
mater tune, "The Yellow and EBlue."
Past members of the Glee Club were
invited onto the stage, and everyone else
was asked to sing along. Since no Qne,
except for the Glee Club and the Michi-
gan Marching Band, knows the song,
the audience was pretty quiet, only pro-
viding great applause when the sh
concluded. Though the concert fell 'ho
in many areas, it was probably a w6'rth-
while endeavor for all in attendance.
Spring has sprung,
I'm no longer bummed,
Off/to Peabody's I run,
For some yum, yum, yums. '
Treat yourself to a Cookie,
Muffin, or nonfat Colombo Frozen Yogurt. .
715 N. University 761-CHIP
Mon-Thurs 8:30am-6:30pm Fri 8:30am-5:30pm Sat 10am-5:30pm
ATTENTION SENIOR HISTORY CONCENTRATORS
COLLOQUIUM SIGN-UP FOR FALL TERM 1996 IS
MONDAY, APRIL 1, 8 A.M. to 12 NOON and
NO PREFERENCEGIVEN TONEARLY ARRIVALS. =
Michigan Diabetes Research
and Tlraining Center
SUMMER STUDENT RESEARCH PROGRAM
Supports Summer Student Research in the
Areas of Diabetes/Endocrinoogy/Metabolisin
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