aIxz 3igram D"V My God ... it's full of stars! Stanley Kubrick's classic film "2001: A Space Odyssey" is coming through Ann Arbor again. The magnificent film, complete with a captivating story, soothing music and dazzling special effects years ahead of its time, begins its week-long run at the Michigan Theater today at 4:15 p.m. Shown in 70 mm, this is not an experience anyone should miss. Student admission is only $5. Monday April 1, 1996 8A Martin's stupid 'Bilko' misfires By Bryan Lark Daily Arts Writer Can you recall when Steve Martin movies were actually amusing, if not hilarious? Long ago, Martin's films, like "The Jerk," "Roxanne," "Parent- hood" and "L.A. Story," were original comic masterpieces that kept audiences laughing and critics praising. The death knell for that era of excep- tional Steve Martin films seems to have soundedwith the release of"Sgt. Bilko," the most pathetic excuse for movie com- edy in an extremely long time. Recycled from a 1950s' television series barely remembered by anyone under the age of 50, "Sgt. Bilko" is the REVIEW Sgt. Bilko Directed by Jonathan Lynn with Steve Martin, Dan Aykroyd and Phil Hartman At Briarwood and Showcase story of the antics of smooth, gambling- obsessed con man Ernie Bilko, as he oversees the motor pool at Fort Baxter. The motor pool is more like abetting pool, with incessant, diverse games of chance, such as dog racing, roulette and tug-of-war with a horse. Inhabiting this motor pool company are varied corrupt misfits who fit easily into stereotypical military categories: The naive, head- strong rookie, the sassy second-in-com- mand, the overweight soldier and even the guy (Max Casella) who played Vinnie from "Doogie Howser!" Bilko presides over his platoon like an innkeeper rather than a sergeant, providing his men and women with extended sleeping hours, plush accom- modations and many forms of amuse- ment, claiming that even the Army needs recreation. Monitoring Bilko to keep him in line is the dim-witted Colonel Hall (Dan Aykroyd), who is about as good a su- pervisor as Bilko. Blinded by childish happiness and Bilko's lies, Hall ne- glects to notice the illegal activity oc- curring right in front of him. With no regulations to weigh him and his soldiers down, Bilko cruises through life until his old nemesis, Ma- jorThorn(Phil Hartman), arrives. Thorn is a conniving weasel of an officer, attempting to strike vengeance upon Bilko for ruining his career many years earlier. Sent by the Pentagon to survey the progress of a new weapon at the base, Major Thorn brings with him a team of accountants to try and catch Bilko in his embezzlement of the Army. Thrown into the unentertaining mix is the scathingly annoying Glenne Headly, of "Dick Tracy" and "Mr. Holland's Opus" fame, as Rita Robbins, Bilko's long-suffering girlfriend, who also cannot resist a good gamble. From the moment this dull film be- gins, it is obvious that Sgt. Bilko and his crew of losers will prevail, making the film not just tedious, but also thor- oughly predictable. Directed by formerly admirable di- rector Jonathan Lynn, who gave the world such superiorcomedies as "Clue" and "My Cousin Vinny," the film at- tempts to walk the tightrope of screw- ball comedy but ultimately ends up falling flat on its face. There is absolutely nothing original or innovative about the meaningless "Sgt. Bilko." The film rehashes imag- ery from "M*A*S*H" and "Private "OK, guys. Let me get this straight: Now that's arms to the Contras and hostages from the Iranians." Benjamin"; its minimal special effects are not very special; and the script by Andy Breckman, who also wrote for- gettable trash like "IQ" and "Arthur 2: On the Rocks," is a mess of cliches and old jokes that is about as enjoyable as a funeral home. In fact, funeral homes are more fulfilling - at least there is free coffee and something worthwhile to discuss. Slightly redeeming this film, obvi- ously only made in the interest of turning aprofit, is Phil Hartman, who was the unsung hero of "Saturday Night Live" for eight years and now delivers much of the humor on "Newsradio." Hartman does well playing the malicious bad guy in a world full of "nincompoops" and "boobs"... yes, the film actually uses those expressions. As numerous characters in "Sgt. Bilko" use the militaristic cry of "Hoo- Ahh,"popularizedby Al Pacino in "Scent Of A Woman," that Soup Nazi episo of"Seinfeld"came tomind. Along thqg$ same strict, culinary lines, "Sgt. Bilko," being inane, unnecessary and insulting to the intelligence of American movie- goers, gets no soup. "Wait, I thought this was Caddyshack!" Neil rocks Palladium Detroit goes wild for Motley Crue ex Women sing with glee Club plays variety of tunes at Hill shove By Brian A. Gnatt Daily Music Editor Vince Neil is Motley Crue. The singer's high pitched vocals, big blond hair and, don't forget, the make- up and spandex that all made Motley Crue the hard rock powerhouse it was. But after the band threw out Neil a few years back and replaced him with a new singer, the Crue failed miserably. While Neil's solo career hasn't been any more illustrious than the Crue's since his departure, Vince Neil solo is the closest thing you can get to the original Motley Crue sound without a reunion. In Motley Crue, as in most bands, it is the vocalist who makes the band. Neil was the voice of the band - in his vocals and in his offstage banter. His blond hair separated him from the other black-haired greaseballs in the band, and his attitude gave the band the balls that made the Crue sell-out arenas for almost a decade. At Neil's Thursday night perfor- mance at The Palladium in Roseville, it was evident that guitarists, bassists and drummers are replaceable-but a good vocalist is not. Neil holds the aura to Motley Crue, even though his former bandmates hold the title to the name. Opening with the Crue classic REVIEW Vince Neil The Palladium March 28, 1996 "Kickstart My Heart," Neil's energy and wild stage persona were in effect. In ripped blue jeans, a white V-neck T- shirt, a black Georgetown Hoyas but- ton-down, a black headband and wrist- bands, Neil was ready to rock. He seemedhappy to be playing to the mixed young and old audience, and continued to tell the crowd how happy he was throughout the show. "Detroit is like home to me," he said repeatedly. Neil slammed through mostly Mot- ley Crue songs with a few of his own songs mixed in, like "Sister of Pain" and "You're Invited But Your Friend Can't Come," in which he forgot some of the trite words. He also played some material from his recent studio album, "Carved In Stone," like the rather dull "Breakin' In the Gun." But while Neil's solo material se- verely lacks any merit on record and sounds immensely better live, the audi- ence, and Neil too, were clearly more interested in the classic Motley mate- BRIAN A. GNATT/Daily Vince Neil played at the Palladium Thursday night. rial. Neil and his band played through the Crue classics "Home Sweet Home," "Red Hot," "Dr. Feelgood," "Same 01' Situation" and "Girls, Girls, Girls" in which he invited some of his new De- troit friends on stage to dance. The songs all sounded as good as if Motley Crue were playing them, and Neil's vocals were surprisingly solid. For an encore, the band returned to play the Crue classics "Wild Side" and the glam rockers' first hit, "Live Wire," again tight and true to the originals. Even though he didn't write any of the Motley Crue songs (they were all written by Motley bassist Nikki Sixx), Neil still carries them as if they were his own. He clearly marks his territory as the only person who should be singing Motley Crue's glam rock masterpieces. By Anitha Chalam For the Daily On Friday night, the Women's Glee Club gave their annual Spring Concert for an audience filling up a small frac- tion of the seats at Hill Auditorium. In spite of the discouraging numbers, the Women's Glee Club tried hard to give a stellar performance. The group did indeed perform the first piece well, called "Shirei Shabbat (Sab- bath Songs)," written by the conductor, Theodore Morrison. Sung in Hebrew, this four-part piece was especially ap- propriate for a Friday night, the begin- ning ofthe Sabbath. The piece as a whole was beautiful, especially the first part, "Yom Zeh M'chubad," which was very lively with nice harmony. Unfortunately, the "Sabbath Songs" were the highlight of the evening. Next on the program was a selection called "Three Madrigals." All were sung in English, and all were written by great poets, yet the madrigals failed to move the audience as the preceding song had so clearly done. Based on the poems of e.e. cummmings, the third piece, "Earthsongs," was the longest of the night; by far, it was the worst selection the Glee Club sang. Switching back and forth between lively and mysteri- ous tones, the song only drew attention to the fact that it was long and not particularly good. After a brief intermission, the Harmonettes,the 10-member acappella subgroup of the Glee Club performed a few of their favorite selections. Their first piece, "Dancing Queen," by ABBA, may have triggered nostalgic thoughts in the minds of the some in the audience, but very noticeably lacked a lot of what made the version by v REVIEWV Womensz Glee Club Hill Auditorium March 29, 1996 Benny, Bjorn, Agnetha and Anni-Fri so popular. Their second piece, "Help!," also was lacking. The sound effects were too loud and the vocals were too female. The next piece, "When You Wish Upon a Star," seemed a little fast, and the syncopation didn't do anything for it. The final selection, however, "Califor- nia Dreamin'," was good, except for the over-excitement on the part of .ose doing the sound effects." The entire Glee Club came back on stage to sing a few African spil'tual songs to conclude the evening. The first one, "Elijah Rock," was sung a cappella. Though it had a nice beat, it failed to excite. "Set Down Servant," wlich started with clapping and stomping, was better. "There is a Balm in Gilead" was slow and serious, while the. final piece, "This Little Light of Mine," was fast and lively; it was clearly the best of 4ll th spirituals sung that night. As is tradition, the Women's Glee Club closed with the University alma mater tune, "The Yellow and EBlue." Past members of the Glee Club were invited onto the stage, and everyone else was asked to sing along. Since no Qne, except for the Glee Club and the Michi- gan Marching Band, knows the song, the audience was pretty quiet, only pro- viding great applause when the sh concluded. Though the concert fell 'ho in many areas, it was probably a w6'rth- while endeavor for all in attendance. I I COOKIES. Spring has sprung, I'm no longer bummed, Off/to Peabody's I run, For some yum, yum, yums. ' Treat yourself to a Cookie, Muffin, or nonfat Colombo Frozen Yogurt. . 715 N. University 761-CHIP Mon-Thurs 8:30am-6:30pm Fri 8:30am-5:30pm Sat 10am-5:30pm HAPPY HOUR ATTENTION SENIOR HISTORY CONCENTRATORS COLLOQUIUM SIGN-UP FOR FALL TERM 1996 IS MONDAY, APRIL 1, 8 A.M. to 12 NOON and NO PREFERENCEGIVEN TONEARLY ARRIVALS. = . MON FRI 9:30 PM-MIDNIGHT Michigan Diabetes Research and Tlraining Center 1996 SUMMER STUDENT RESEARCH PROGRAM Supports Summer Student Research in the Areas of Diabetes/Endocrinoogy/Metabolisin 54.00 WAA" Z W --- 1- - I-. -- - 7- ,.I . - -- j I