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For all those students currently
looking for a job, I have some
words of advice.
It's not that you won't get a job.
(You won't, but that's your problem.)
It's not that I'm worried that you may
get a job offer instead of me. (I have
already given up trying to find a job,
ing determined that if every
unemployed person on the planet
except for me internally combusted
and mass fires burned throughout the
western hemisphere and I alone
owned the world's one remaining fire
extinguisher, people would choose to
burn to a vicious death rather than
hand me so much as a $5 bill to bail
them out. Not that I am bitter.) No,
the main reason I would like you to
stop applying for jobs is so that I can
1 friends and family how "tough the
job market is -just look at the rest
of my graduating class."
Inevitably, some of you will ignore
my pleas and go ahead with the
application process, which seems like
it will never end. But relax, young job
applicants, for the process will indeed
end! You will know the end is near
when you see those two kind words
W iling at you in all their glory:
This is how rejection letters begin.
You may wonder why they don't
bother to put your name in there. The
reason is obvious, you nitwit: these
people have already rejected you.
They have deemed you unworthy of
using their stationery. They don't care
what you think of them.
For this same reason, rejection
letters are among the most poorly
itten documents in the world, right
up there with economics textbooks.
Most of them look something like
Thank you for being of interest in
being employed at our company of
beings! Unfortunately, you have not
been among those whom we could
lect as our selections. We received
s year a large number of applica-
tions, approximately 84 times more
than last year we received, which
increased the difficulty of choosing
Again, Thanks and Good Luck in
Director of Rejection
The Above You Corporation
*Your first rejection letter can be
difficult to handle. You begin to
wallow in self-pity, making things out
to be much worse than they are. After
my first rejection letter, I was
obviously devastated, thinking "I'll
never get a job, I'll never get a job."
And look at me today: Sure, I never
did get a job, but my obvious
devastation has developed into a quiet
After you receive a few rejection
letters, you may have to "broaden the
scope of your search," as the experts
say. (Translation: Apply for some-
thing to fit your pathetic little
qualifications.) Here's how you do
this: Think of all the jobs you might
actually enjoy. Put them together in a
list. Then burn the list - nobody gets
a job they might actually enjoy until
ey're at least 52 years old, and then
>y if they know somebody.
Another good tactic for broadening
your scope is to write down all the
cities you have ever hear of, then
cross out all but Cleveland and
Cheboygan. Apply for jobs in those
two cities only. '
Of course, if you still can't get a
job, don't fret - you probably didn't
want to live in Cleveland or
eboygan anyway. And besides,
rejection letters can serve a positive
purpose. For example: wallpaper.
You can plaster rejection letters all
over your walls, which will look
wonderful in hues of off-white and
Rejection letters also serve another,
JENNIFER BRADLEY-SWIFT/ Daily
MUSKET cast and crew members celebrate their 40th anniversary. The group has produced 62 musicals over its tenure, including this weekend's "Guys and Dolls."
The University's student-run theater troupe celebrates 40 years of making musicals
By Karen Sommer
anniversary of MUSKET,
troupe, and its 62nd pro-
duction since its conception in 1956.
MUSKET or the little-known name that
became an acronym-Michigan Union
Show, Ko-Eds Too - sprouted its roots
88 years ago in the troupe called the
Michigan Union Opera Company.
In 1908, until the time ofMUSKET's
debut, the University relegated female
students to the Michigan League while
University men called the Union home.
With the separate but equal code en
vogue, the Michigan Union Opera Com-
pany rehearsed in the Union and there-
fore could not or would not admit
women. The all-male troupe concen-
trated their efforts on satires about the
college life of men, for men and by men.
As society became more accepting of
public women, so did the Michigan
Union Opera Company. In 1956, the
group changed the name to include "Ko-
Eds" and invited women to their audi-
tions for their first production,
"Brigadoon." Since then, MUSKET has
upheld its tradition ofperforming musi-
cals full of spectacle, song and dance.
The company's favorite shows to per-
form have been "Hair," "Anything
Goes," "Guys and Dolls" and "West
Side Story." All, but "West Side Story,"
have been brought up on the boards
three times; "West Side Story" graced
the stage for a fourth run in '83. Some
may say it isappropriatethen forMUS-
KET to be doing "Guys and Dolls" to
celebrate its anniversary; the audience
must be calling for it again and again.
While the University Activities Cen-
ter supports MUSKET financially, the
theater company relies most heavily on
student participation. The casts and
technical crews change for every pro-
duction, but MUSKET's mantra re-
mains the same. "MUSKET provides
the opportunity to do hands-on learn-
ing," said Sascha Connor, "Guys and
Dolls" producer. "It's learning about
community, compromise, improvisa-
tion, team-work and fun. (The chal-
lenge) of every production is taking
people who have never met and draw-
ing the group together."
Ironically, Joshua Rosenblum, the
producer for the 1982-83 years, speaks
of MUSKET similarly. "The longerl'm
in commercial theater, I long for MUS-
KET days. Everyone who worked on
MUSKET wasn't in it for the money or
the fame. We were in it for the commu-
nity and fun." Rosenblum left MUS-
KET on his graduation day to join the
Daily Arts Writer
many MUSKET alums who success-
fully tackle the Great White Way. He
produces Broadway shows, such as
"Guys and Dolls," for the company
Other successful MUSKET alums in-
clude Rosenblum's partner in Dodger
Productions and his director forthe MUS-
KET productions of "Hair" and "Run-
aways," Michael Goldberg. Hollywood
knows Goldberg for writing the movies
"Cool Runnings" and "Little Giants."
Rosenblum and Goldberg knew their
talent and ability to work together would
pay off in '82 when they took the MUS-
KET production of "Hair" on the road
to a theater festival in Skokie, Ill.
Michael Butler, the original producer
of "Hair" on Broadway, saw the pro-
duction by Rosenblum and Goldberg
and attempted to organize a national
tour of the MUSKET cast. Unfortu-
nately the tour never materialized, but
MUSKET casts of "West Side Story"
and "Anything Goes" have toured suc-
cessfully in previous years.
It is not uncommon that MUSKET
members stick together, especially when
they venture off to New York City. The
musical revue, "Save Me a Song," writ-
ten by David Kirshenbaum (director of
the'91 production of"Chess") and pro-
duced by Bret Havey (director of the
'93 production of "42nd Street"), can
be seen at Don't Tell Mama every Mon-
day night. The revue's musical direc-
tor, C. Lynne Shankel, the choreogra-
pher, Elizabeth Rossi, and performer
Kate Guyton, are all MUSKET alums.
When they are out on their own,
Kirshenbaum writes lyrics for his own
musicals, and Havey produces com-
mercials for VH1.
MUSKET has spawned a large num-
ber of Broadway sensations. Madeline
Rubinstein, once a MUSKET musical
director, is now a Broadway pianist.
Greg Jbara, a performer from the other
UAC musical theater company
SophShow, has been seen in Broadway
productions of "The Secret Garden,'
"Damn Yankees," and currently stars it
the production of"Victor/Victoria" witl
Julie Andrews. Tammy Jacobs (Reno
Sweeney in the'93 "Anything Goes" an(
directorofthe'94"Hair") joinsthe Broad-
way cast of "Les Miserables" in charm-
ing audiences nightly.
Members of MUSKET, past and
present, believe the training helps to lay
the foundation for a successful career ii-
the entertainment industry. There is r
consensus that the experience gives the
students a sense ofaccomplishmentanc.
belief in their abilities that exists be
cause the production has little inpu
"(It's wonderful that) you are creat-
ing something with your peers, and thc
product is strictly from students. The
great mix of students from the Univer-
sity allow for different levels of profes-
sionalism and with every new shoe
there is a lot of trust involved," ex-
plained Jonathan Berry (performer it
the '93 "Anything Goes" and the '94
"42nd Street" and assistant director o
the '94 "Hair").
"There are fears and doubts, but it
always comes together and you always
'Guys and Dolls' breaks into the '90s
By Karen Sommer
Daily Arts Writer
A woman feigns pregnancy to her
mother in order to trap her man. A
drunk goes to an alternative church to
seek redemption. A gambler just can't
kick the habit. Showgirls prove they
have aspirations for greatness too.
Sounds like the perfect '90s 12-step
melodrama, yet the author, Damon
Runyon, wrote the original stories for
the comedy "Guys and Dolls" almost
half a century ago.
Did Runyon and "Guys and Dolls"
composer-lyricist Frank Loesser intend
to produce social commentary or just a
nonstop explosipn of dance and song
representing all that's great and awful
about New York City? Adam Hess,
director of MUSKET's production of
this romantic comedy, thinks they meant
Where: Power Center
When: Friday and Saturday at
8 p.m., Sunday at 2 p.m.
Tickets: $9 ($6 students). Call
KET uses the new setting "to give a
stronger sense of background to the
audience." Said Hess, "I disagree with
updating for the sake of updating, but
we have justified the few changes we
- Because the show now takes place
after the men come home from war, the
inclusion of stronger women's roles
seemed like a given to Hess. "The open-
ing scene is a montage of the time and
and found a group of female gangster
from Chicago called the Michigan Ba-
bies. They would send their sexies
member to seduce a male and then ro
him. We figured Big Julie was one o.
them sent to New York."
Of the other altered roles, Arvide, th
formerly known bass drum playing
grandfather figure to Sarah Brown wa
changed to Aunt Arvide (Heathe-
Albrecht). "The role wasn't gender-
specific and we thought the audience
would get a better feel for Sarah (th
love-struck missionary, played b
Allison Lane) if she had a female ido
and inspiration," Hess explained.
The final change took place in Lieu
tenant Brannigan (Kimberl
Woodman), a cop who lives to catch th.
down-on-his-luck gambler, Nathaj
Detroit (Randy Kurstin). "We knee
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