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March 03, 1994 - Image 9

Resource type:
The Michigan Daily, 1994-03-03

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

Earle bids farewell
"No Daily in the Daily" has long
been one of the cardinal rules around
here. The rule was intended to insure
the staff would focus on the
community rather than on our own
internal squabbles and office politics.
The problem with this rule is that it
bars some of us from writing what
we are most qualified to write about.
But since today's is my final
column for the Daily, and I am
* informed that I am entitled to a sappy

Cajun Man, meet Opera Man. Opera Man, meet
Canteen Boy. Canteen Boy, meet
Adam Sandier
Illustration By JORDANATLAS

farewell piece because of my four
years of service, I'll give it a try.
Somewhere in a journal I kept my
freshman year, there is an October
entry describing my first edit board,
the place where the Daily passes its
editorials. The entry describes how I
was astounded and somewhat
overwhelmed by the intellectual
prowess and political deftness
exhibited by the editorial staff at that
meeting (remember, this was four
years ago and those people are long
*gone). They were passionate about
politics and seemed to know what
they were talking about.
Those early edit boards make up
some of my best memories of the
Daily, and truthfully, they were the
reason I joined. Of course, later it
turned out that my first impression
had been a little naive - half of the
staff were either communists or West
Bank wanabees armed only with
0 stock left wing arguments. But I stuck
around and later became the Opinion
editor from '92 to '93.
I learned a lot of things during
those years. I learned how to write
editorials and how to report the news.
I learned how to get served at
Ashley's simply by looking weary at
happy hour. I learned how to hold up
my side of an argument, how to butt
into other people's business and how
to badger people who probably
deserved it.
I also learned some unpleasant
things at the Daily. I learned that
even at a pretty good newspaper not
everybody cares about printing the
truth. I learned that "The Lord of the
Flies" is actually a piece of non-
fiction. (Give a bunch of kids some
power in the absence of rules and just
watch the zaniness they can create!)
And I learned that the liberals are not
always right and that the good guys
do not always win (while the bad
guys get admitted to Yale Law School.)
I also learned a great deal writing
this column for Weekend. I learned
that a byline is the best antidote to
lazy writing, sloppiness and
hyperbole. I learned that if you really
*care about your work you have a
stomachache until you see it in print
(and if you err, for months afterwards.)
And I learned that humor is by far the
hardest type of writing.
I would like to thank all of the
people who have helped me with this
column during the past year. I wish
to thank Melissa, Nima, Darcy and
John, my editors, for their patience
sand for allowing me to write for their
excellent section. I want to thank
Lindsay, for listening to me gripe
about all of those columns due in 12
hours; Jay, for his cool-headed con-
sultations and Jon, for contributing
ideas, honest criticism and occasional
chicken jokes while serving as a sort
of personal editor - all for the mere
pay of being mentioned in about every
other column.
Also, I would like to thank all of
the people who were willing to speak
frankly with me about issues that are
important to the community and
sometimes need clarification thanks
to you know what newspaper.
Specifically, I want to thank Walter

It's seven o'clock Friday
night and Adam Sandler has
five minutes to talk. The
27-year-old comedian is on
break between rehearsals
for career-launching-pad "Saturday
Night Live," on which he is a regular
- and favorite. To this time restraint,
his Opera Man character would likely
shout a dramatic "Aaaahhhh!" But
Sandler himself remains calm, cool,
collected. After all, as anyone who
has seen his Opera Man, Cajun Man
or Canteen Boy skits knows, Adam
Sandler can say more in five minutes
than others can say in an hour.
He's a unique comedian, you see.
Like his SNL castmates, he imper-
sonates famous people (like Axl Rose
and Peter Brady) and creates silly
characters that the audience clamors
to see. What sets Sandler apart is his
ability to make even the most
innocuous lines absurdly hilarious
("Who are the ad wizards who came
up with this one?"), his ability to
speak not only with words but also
with measured pauses, innocent looks
at the camera and emotional voice
inflections. Sandler's slurred, often
childish speech and shy demeanor
lend a ridiculous air to his words.
The end result: everything he says
is funny.
But, then, what would you ex-
pect from a guy voted class clown
by his New Hampshire high school
graduating class?
"Thinking back about it, I used to
goof off and try to be funny. When
we'd go to the movies and stuff I'd
always scream stupid stuff at the
screen and if the theater would
laugh I'd feel good," Sandler
said of his childhood comedic
attempts. "I just kept doing it
my whole life; where there
were a lot of people, trying to
get attention, I guess. Trying
to be funny, to make 'em
Sandler has been doing
that professionally since
1990 when he joined the
cast of SNL. He recently
released a CD, the aptly-
titled "they're all gonna
laugh at you!" featuring
his now-famous "Thanks-
giving Song," plus
"Lunchlady Land" (more
popularly known as "The
Sloppy Joe Song"),
among other comedy rou-
tines, like the parental-
"beatings" of various
high school. employees s
(a couple of teachers,
the bus driver, the jani-
But, as the dis-
claimer in the CD

booklet reminds, "...those who re-
ceived the beatings were beaten not
because they were teachers or public
servants, but due to the fact that they
were mass-murderers and/or
necrophiliacs. Especially the Spanish
It's a joke; get it?
"I'm sure there's stuff on there
that would offend anybody, but it's all
done in a silly way. It's not in a
malicious way," Sandler said. "I do
think twice. I don't want to hurt
anybody's feelings.
"Anybody who happened to be in
the school caught a beating that day.
There's nobody that I'd like to see
beaten," he laughed.
Sandler does not yet know who


,?~yay, ,:
'4 r

:. ti .
. : 4

would get beaten up on his next CD.
In all seriousness, though, he said the
album is not meant for younger kids,
and that he did not let his mother
listen to the whole thing. The
psychotic mother in the "Oh Mom..."
routine is not, by the way, based on
Sandler's own mother.
Of course, some of Sandler's char-
acters have come from people he's
known. Opera Man, for example, is
based on a guy in New York who
sings on 57th Street; Canteen Boy
comes from "some
goofballs" Sandler
knew while growing up.
Other routines, like the
"I'm So Wasted" segment
with Rob Schneider on the CD,
are purely improvised.
In that sketch, Schneider boasts
of how "wasted" he is until Sandler
busts him with the news that the acid
was a piece of notebook paper, and
the weed just a bag of pencil
shavings. As we've all seen
someone like this "so wasted"
guy, Sandler's parody rings
truly hilarious.
Sandler's life has had its
own comedic moments, it
seems, especially in his
experiences with being "wasted."
"I remember when I was in sixth
grade and I had a bunch of crazy
friends and they were drinking al-
ready in sixth grade," he said. "I re-
member I was like, 'Oh no,' and they
gave me a beer and I was like, 'I don't
know, alright, I guess I'm getting
forced into this.' I took a sip and I just
couldn't believe how bad it tasted,
and I almost died, and I just
couldn't even swallow it.
"I remember this is what
I did with the whole beer:
We were spitting through
our teeth at the time - re-
member how kids used to
spit through their teeth like
baseball players? So this is
what I would do. I would
take a big sip and then pre-
tend to swallow and then
spit through my teeth like
I was just spitting. So I did
that for the whole beer,"
said Sandler, who to this
day prefers other beverages.
Sandler graduated from
New York University in
1988, and said that despite
being on the road a lot in
college, he "had fun" there
as well as in high school.
"I wasn't a geek," he
insisted. "I'm not sure
if I was cool but I was
a good guy. I knew
that. I had some good
friends. I had a lot of
See SANDLER, Page 5



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