4 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, February 11, 1994
cije £Id~r1 rm&dtIg
'To ask Europe to solve a problem like Bosnia is like asking
the Junior League to disarm the Blood and Crips.'
-Newsweek writer Michael Elliot
on Europe's general inability to act to end the carnage in Bosnia-Herzegovina
Be all
420 Maynard
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
Edited and managed
by students at the
University of Michigan
JESSIE HALLADAY
Editor in Chief
SAM GOODSTEIN
FINr WAINESS
Editorial Page Editors
Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the opinion of a majority of the Daily's editorial board.
All other articles, letters, and cartoons do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Michigan Daily.
NorthCampus Food
'U' needs to explore options for broader food choices
WU4AT Th~iEY SAYo
-DADDY! 11- SAYS HERE -K,4r AT
M(t HIC-AN You CAM 8E ANI
XTNItV'AL0e'ONE WIt I- Mi5/ FR
OW ~rccAIT / ,A
a'
l
K.
GS
W HAT -TT"S L I rE 4
/E. 5-4132
- - ~ CV-3.Z-'15' TO
that you
can be
C'
ow many times have students from
North Campus heard this line: "I wish
there was better food choice in the Com-
mons?" For a good portion of the student
body that works on North Campus - mainly
Art, Architecture/Urban Planning, Music and
Engineering students-the only places to eat
lunch between classes are Little Caeser's and
Wok Express. This limiting choice is some-
thing that, unfortunately, North Campus stu-
dents have to face every day of their young
college lives.
Yes, there is a cafeteria upstairs in the
Commons, but to eat at the 'cafe' takes longer
than most students have time for, and it is only
open between 11:30 and 2:30 in the after-
-moon. Bursley has a dorm cafeteria, but it is
°inadequate for students who need to eat-and-
Yun. Forstudentswithout carswho want some-
thing quick, that leaves the two inadequate
fast food restaurants in the Commons. This
must change.
It is not suggested that Wok Express or
Little Caesar's are poor restaurants, but, let's
-face it, neither is extremely nutritious. One of
the responsibilities of the University, and the
University community, is to provide a nutri-
1ional menu for its students.
It is most unfortunate that the University
has not been able to provide students on North
Campus with more nutritional and healthy
choices of food, like those available on Cen-
tral Campus. While there is limited space
available in the Commons, either that space
must be betterutilized-by bringing in a new
restaurant - or the cafeterias must be made
more accessible.
The University should take steps to ensure
'that the growing number of students who live
and work on North Campus are taken care of.
Unfortunately, in some areas, the services
,available to students on North Campus are
-only a fraction of those available to students
on Central Campus.
Of course, North Campus is growing and
does not serve as many students as Central
Campus. Therefore it is understandable that
the amount of attention given to North Cam-
pus is proportional to the student population
there. However, the University is increas-
ingly investing resources and personnel on
North Campus and logically should go for-
ward with ensuring that the services and
opportunities available to the student popula-
tion there are on par with those on Central
Campus. Food service is only one facet of that
expansion.
The University does have an Advisory
Board for the North Campus Commons, which
is open to discussion on plans for the future of
the Commons. While this is encouraging, and
students should use their considerable num-
bers to influence policy, as of yet there are no
plans for actions or reform of any kind. This
Board should take up the issue of inadequate
food options as soon as it can, with students
playing an integral part in any discussions.
While this issue may sound somewhat pe-
ripheral and irrelevant to those who never
venture to North Campus, it is a legitimate
and pressing concern to those who spend the
bulk of their time on North Campus.
There should be a broader choice of food
available to students, comparable to that of
the MUGin the Union. Notthat Little Caeser's
or Wok Express are in and of themselves
inadequate establishments, but the special-
ized nature of theirmenu's leaves little choice.
The new choice should be healthy, offer a
broad menu and be served fast.
As North Campus is sure to see continual
growth in the future, any action the Univer-
sity makes now is certainly an investment in
the future, and would be greatly appreciated
by the many students who live and work
there.
A goodbye from
An Open Letter to the Number one, he or
University Community: fortunate to be a st
I would like to take this University, receive
opportunity to bid farewell to education, graduat
the entire University on to do great thin1
community. During my stay throughout the wor
here at the University, I have number two, he or,
had the opportunity to meet fortunate to be a st
hundreds of wonderful at the University, g
people, brilliant students and the job education a
great staff members. Together to people, things a,
we have worked through develop one's prof
some very sensitive, volatile skills and then take
and emotional situations. We knowledge and ma
have also lived through some to do great things t
very happy and silly the world.
moments. I have been very I am fortunate t
happy to have been a part of staff person at the t
this campus community and and most specifica
definitely proud to have been member of the Dep
a part of the campus law Public Safety (and
enforcement effort. unofficial member
As I reflect upon the eight Division of Studen
and a half years, I have and the office of th
concluded that there are two Students). As I leap
great things that can happen to University (to beco
a person while they are here, new and first Direc
Lt. Baisden
she can be
udent at the
an
e, and go
cgs
rld. Or
she can be
aff person
get an on
s it relates
nd ideas;
essional
e that
gybe go on
hroughout
o have a
University
lly a
partment of
an
of the
t Affairs
le Dean of
ve the
ome the
tor of
Campus Safety at Keen State
College, in Keene, New
Hampshire.) I do so with a
promise to you (the University
community) that I am going
forth with every intent to do
the best job possible in the
name of "campus safety".
I should share with you
that I have been overwhelmed
by the numerous phone calls,
letters and notes from
members of the campus and
my colleagues throughout the
country.
It is amazing how fast
news travels. In any event, I
thank you for having allowed
me to serve you as a public
servant. I wish you all and the
Department of Public Safety
the best!
Thank you!
LT. VERNON L BAISDEN
Department of Public Safety
For Hire: One Columnist
I have a gift.
No, it's not my
Schwarzenegger-like body, but
good guess. Nor is it my uncanny
ability to urinate while doing a
handstand, a talent in which my
family has always taken great
pride. Rather, I have the power to
say one thing, while meaning
something completely different.
Allow me to provide you with
an example. The other day, a
"friend" of mine came up to me
and announced that he had
received not one, but two job
offers after he graduates. While I
won't actually reveal the amount
of money that hewouldbe making,
suffice it to say that the jobs pay
significantly more than does a
Daily columnist. My response
was, quite appropriately,
"congratulations."
What I meant, however, was
"fuck you, you insolent asshole."
Neat, huh? I have found that
my ability is particularly useful
for these kinds of people, the kinds
that insist on flaunting theirbright
futures in front of my face like a
Deja Vu stripper does with her
breasts (or so I've heard).
You see, I'm one of the
Clueless Ones: one of the
countless students who could still
legitimately become a fireman,
an astronaut, or a veterinarian. In
other words, you will rarely find
us using a copy of The Wall Street
Journal, except to line our
birdcages.
Oh, it's not that I haven't
thought about my career path.
Only my path is more like a trail.
A windy trail. The kind that's
filled with lots of rocks and strewn
garbage.
My parents are no help. They
are constantly barraging me with
advice, such as "think of what you
enjoy doing, then just make a
career of it." While this little gem
of wisdom is fine for stupid people,
it doesn't cut it with me. If I really
wanted to pursue an occupation
that I enjoyed, I would become a
porn star. I can just picture my
mother bragging to the neighbors:
"My son just got the lead fo
Romancing the Bone. He gets to
have sex with eight women in the
same film! My husband and I are
aglow!"
And I don't think that a
research assistant for mind-
altering drugs provides a good
dental plan.
Therefore, for the sake of my
fellow Clueless Ones, I have
provided the official Katz Guide®
to the Occupations. Live it, love
it, butswhatever you do, take it
seriously:
Lawyer. This is a good idea,
because what the world really
needs is another lawyer. Of
course, this entails attending law
school, which is fine if you enjoy
pain and the security of having to
live in debt until you die. Ever see
The Paper Chase? 'Nuff said. 4
Doctor. This is another
Occupation That Makes Mom
Happy. Personally, I would love
to be a doctor. It's only that I gag
at the sight of blood and periodic
tables. Actually I just like the
idea of being referred to as"Docto
Katz:"N~ml
Lowly peon: "Uhh, Mr.
Katz, your table is ready."
Dr. K.: "It's Doctor, fool!
Now hand in your resignation!"
Tanya Harding reporter. If
you like job security, go for this
one.
Male model. This job is not
for everyone, especially women.
Personally, I have been told
numerous times that I should do
this. However, the hours are too
strenuous, and just once I would
like tobe appreciated formy mind,
rather than my body. I'm not just
a piece of meat, damnit!
Humorous newspaper
columnist. This is great if you
have no concept of how to write
Detroit will host 67
International conference coincides with urban renewal
P resident Clinton's important announce-
M.U ment to hold the Global Jobs Meeting in
Detroit next month has received extensive
press coverage, prompting some to wonder
what all the hype is about. Why bring del-
egates from the Big Seven Democratic Pow-
-ers (the G7) to Detroit of all places? The
,significance of the administration's move is
fundamentally political in nature, for Clinton
_owes the state of Michigan for its electoral
-votes. But motives aside, this international
conference can only help the city of Detroit, a
city on the rebound.
The negativity and cynicism of political
pundits surrounding Clinton's announcement
is exactly why this convention merits atten-
tion, for the city presently faces a crucial time
In its development. With anew mayor provid-
.ng a strong sense of optimism, the time is
right for change. Dennis Archer took the first
step with his willingness to lay open the city
kend its problems for scrutiny by the interna-
ional community, but he cannot do it alone.
The exposure of delegates and experts
from the nation, as well as the international
business community, to Detroit's situation
can only serve to inspire ideas of renewal and
involvement from all sources. The presence
bf a jobs conference coincides nicely with the
changing of the guard, implying that Detroit
is not a place of decay, but a place for growth.
: Significantly, the economies of several
Western European cities resemble Detroit's
economy in their dependence upon manufac-
uring and unionized labor, one of the reasons
Detroitwas chosen. Detroit provides the stark
example of what happens when de-industri-
alization and decentralization occurs in a
large urban area without the development of
other replacement professions -sounding a
warning to other nations and cities that reli-
ance on a single industry (read: automobiles)
produces dire consequences: as unemploy-
ment increases, capital decreases and decline
ensues.
Focusing primarily on the disturbing glo-
bal problem of unemployment, the confer-
ence aims to share experiences and advice
amongthemembernationsoftheG7. Detroit's
high unemployment rates will allow the con-
vention a firsthand look at its manifestations
and provides the perfect local environment
for applying the convention's solutions. De-
troit can only benefit from the international
attention and the plethora of experts descend-
ing upon Cobo next month.
In addition, the selection of Detroit comes
at the same time as the heralded rejuvenation
of the American auto industry. The selection
of Detroit reinforces the importance of the
automobile in the U.S. economy, and will
hopefully form the beginning of a new and
improved relationship between government
and industry.
Clinton's emphasis on Detroit suggests a
new national role for Detroit in the coming
century, perhaps as a city of change and
growth. Detroit's unique position in America
as the Motor City lends itself to new and
different solutions, and the convention pro-
vides the impetus for the change, proving that
there is still life within the city.
Fed up with Twenge
To the Daily:
Over the last four years, I
have probably been on of
your most faithful readers.
Although this is probably
attributable solely to the
crossword puzzle, I have read
nearly every issue that you
have published since 1990.
Unfortunately, as of next
Tuesday, this will no longer
be the case.
Of course, it is Tuesdays
on which Jean Twenge's
"Erasable Pen" column
appears on your editorial
page. It is because of this
regrettable fact that I will not
be reading your newspaper on
those days. Unfortunately,
Ms. Twenge's mealy-
mouthed blatherings have
recently become so self-
congratulatory and puerile
that they render one otherwise
tolerably obnoxious editorial
page completely unreadable.
For Ms. Twenge to fault her
critics for failing to recognize
"subtle journalism is too
miserable to be amusing."
"The Erasable Pen" is to
subtle journalistic insight
what falling on banana peels
is to subtle humor.
Since I cannot, under
current law, sue you for the
suffering incurred when I
accidentally read this column,
I am going to have to walk
away from your distribution
bins on Tuesday mornings
carrying nothing more than a
carefully-removed crossword
puzzle. Please convey my
condolences to your
advertisers.
LEE RANIERI
Ann Arbor resident
harangued with columnists
whose ideas can only be
called half-baked, pointless
articles, a horrid excuse for an
editorial cartoonist, and
information which is just
plain wrong. Take, for
example, your article on
Oxford housing (1/24/94).
Not only was this article very
dull to read and not of general
interest (which is rather
unfortunate as it is a
wonderful place to live), but
people were blatantly
misquoted and the most basic
facts were ignored, if not
trampled on. I suggest that
you fire your writers and
cartoonist and research your
articles a touch more
carefully.
JOSEPH CADOTTE
Engineering sophomore
Clean those sidewalks,
please
To the Daily:
Hey!
I want to thank all those
businesses and Ann Arbor
residents on South University
that consistently shovel and
snow-blow their sidewalks for
us, the students.
Your efforts sure make
getting to class easier and
quicker during these blizzardy
days! Thanks a bunch. You
guys are totally cool (Hint,
hint, Phi Delta Theta and
Theta Chi)!
ALAN BEAN
SNRE junior
Read. You'll get more
out of it
To the Daily:
Tihis 1~ffar is in vreenna Gto
those fed you by television, or
the lack of interest in the
Daily itself. Be it the former,
then I say we engage in
various topics of personal
interest for growth.
Yet, if it is the latter, then I
must imagine that all the
copies of the Daily I see
strewn about the various
building floors were put there
as props to pantomime the
like.
To Joel, Eric, Todd, and
yes, even Tori, I give you this:
a book. Not in pretension nor
arrogance, but in utter
agitation with any individuals
who populate the campus as
students and divulge their
precious spare time to such
realism where only flat
characters dwell. Does it not,
then, become dry and
tasteless? A very affront to
your sensitivity as human, to
watch portrayed various
"types" of personality traits
imbued into one character and
played amongst one another
for no reason other than
ratings.
Perhaps, I am missing
something. There could be
more to this and I hope to be
enlightened, as I am sure I
will. Yes, maybe even Dennis
Denno himself should be
conjured on such an occasion
as this to acquire Tori to speak
at commencement. If art and
literature mirror our society,
then television curtains that
reflection and attempts to
form it into its restrictive
mainstream definition.
Although I should not
necessarily condemn a world
which includes "Saved by the
Bell"
I should like included in
that world, James, Pope,
01
.
l
4
II