100%

Scanned image of the page. Keyboard directions: use + to zoom in, - to zoom out, arrow keys to pan inside the viewer.

Page Options

Download this Issue

Share

Something wrong?

Something wrong with this page? Report problem.

Rights / Permissions

This collection, digitized in collaboration with the Michigan Daily and the Board for Student Publications, contains materials that are protected by copyright law. Access to these materials is provided for non-profit educational and research purposes. If you use an item from this collection, it is your responsibility to consider the work's copyright status and obtain any required permission.

December 06, 1991 - Image 5

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 1991-12-06

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

0 0

Entre Plus: Money for Nothing

I refuse to go through the
hassle of paying bills for the
rest of my life. I can't
understand them anyway.
They're filled with dozens of
numbers, and I can never
figure out which number
represents the amount of
money I have to pay. So to
heck with it. By the time I
JONATHAN graduate, I plan to pay for my
CHAIT food, car, house, etc. with
Entr6e Plus.
All things considered,
Entr6e Plus is far superior to paying with real money.
Real money you have to earn or beg from your parents.
Entr6e Plus, however, is free. Manna from heaven.
As of now, you can use Entr6e Plus to purchase meals,
books, junk food, laundry service, and clothing.
Eventually, we will reach the point where everything can
be bought with Entr6e Plus. You will never need to carry
cash again. Even muggers will be equipped to accept
Entrde Plus.
With credit, on the other hand, you face constant
harassment. If you purchase something with your card,
you risk provoking the credit card company. Once they
become angry with you, they will send a barrage of
indecipherable and vaguely threatening notices to your
room.

These notices all convey the message that the credit
card company is extremely upset with you, but they don't
come out and say exactly what it is you have to do to
satisfy them.
I first used a credit card last fall. At first nothing
seemed to happen. I thought that maybe it was like
Entrde Plus. Oh, I received some harmless-looking pieces
of paper in the mail, but they were filled with numbers
and didn't seem to say much. I tossed them into a desk
drawer and threw them out later.
But after a while, the notices came more and more
frequently, and they seemed angrier and angrier. So I
went to Comerica, thinking that such a well-established
financial institution would know how to sate the credit
company's anger. I asked the tellers how much money it
would take to appease the credit company, and they
didn't know either. So I randomly picked one of the
numbers on the bill and paid them that amount.
But this failed to satisfy the credit company. They sent
me even more notices, and despite the fact that I was now
going to-the bank almost every day, paying random
amounts of money, this seemed to only egg them on.
So I've given up trying to pay off my bills. I figure that
if the credit company wants my money badly enough,
they'll come over and try to collect it personally. My new
motto is, "Don't pay up until Vito comes to the door."
Granted, this technique has its drawbacks in terms of poor
credit rating and broken kneecaps. But you never have to
leave the comfort of your home, and you don't have to pay

attention to threatening notices.
The other purchasing option is the bank card, which is
sort of a combination between credit cards and Entr6e
Plus. Like Entr6e Plus, it has the benefit of using
imaginary money. The drawback is that the machine also
gives you confusing pieces of paper when you use it, but
I've been able to throw them away immediately,
bypassing the desk intermediary, and there have been no
negative repercussions so far.
Comerica also gives you a little propaganda message
while you wait for your money. It flashes these messages
by pretty quick, so it sinks into your mind without you
consciously realizing it. "Comerica has been rated
'outstanding' by the Federal Reserve for its community
reinvestment activities," is the usual one. I imagine that
sometimes it also flashes messages such as: "Comerica is
your friend," "Comerica is looking out for everybody's
best interests," or "Comerica should be running the
country, because they are the only ones you can trust."
I sincerely hope that none of these messages are
sinking in. We wouldn't run this risk, of course, if
everybody converted to Entrde Plus. The entire economy
would prosper, in fact. Since everyone would no longer be
spending their own money, using instead imaginary
money that their parents put in the computer network,
they would have no hesitation about making large
purchases. The whole nation would be out buying
mansions and luxury cars. We'd be out of the recession in
no time.
You should immediately write to the president and
suggest that we convert the nation over to Entrde Plus. I
would do it myself, except I can't right this moment. I
have this strange urge to go give money to Comerica.

"THE BEST

RADE

YET FOR THE SEMacWEEK

I

~1

Pr
(

Me_____I

fna

)<UP~i$I5 RESTAURANT
FAST, HOT
FREE DELIVERY!
(5 pm- 10pm
limited delivery area)

ONLY THE MOBIUS 030
DISPLAY SYSTEM OFFERS
MAC Ikd PERFORMANCE
STARTING AT JUST $995.
A big screen
with built-in
acceleration that
lets you keep
pace withthe
latest Macs-for one third
the cost of buying one. It
turns your Mac into a high-
speed workstation with up to
five times more work space.
Enough room for an entire
layout in PageMaker Ma full
page in Wordor a complete
budget in Excel'Your docu-
ments will always appear
razor-sharp and rock-solid-"very bright, very
sharp, very easy on the eyes' according to
MacWorld.
But that's only half
the picture.You'll also
experience a quantum
leap in performance,
our ombined 25 xM2z030 because only Mobius
accelerator andvideo card will integrates video and 030
make y our Mac run up to six
times fasteror raster yet with acceleration on the same
our optional math coprocessor card. "The best and
second-best improvements the Mac SE can get'
according to MacWeek. So your SE or Classic
L M991 '. poays pa0 tha I 2Sr2

r--CHEF JAN.
27 Years of experience
TOP GOLD MEDAL WINNER
OF DETROIT COBO HALL NATIONAL CONTEST
Sponsored by Michigan Restaurant Associatioli
Michigan Chefs Be Cuisine Association

will run as fast as a Mac Ilci, saving you hours
of time and frustration waiting for your Mac.
While your Mac goes faster, your cash
doesn't. "What separates the Mobius 030
Display System from all the competition is simple,
old-fashioned value' claims MacWeek.
Call us today to place an order, for informa-
tion or for the location of your nearest Mobius
dealer. And see
for yourself what iOBISi
the best upgrade__
value is for your
SE or Classic. 800.523.7933

0

i

....

... .

LUNCHEON SPECIAL,11:00 A.M. - 3:00 P.M.
DINE-IN OR TAKE-OUT SERVICE
Specializing in Szechuan, Hunan, and Peking Cuisine
1201 S. University, Ann Arbor." 668-2445
Open 7 days a week 11 a.m. -10 p.m.

BLUE RIBBON BEST CHEF AWARD
IN WASHINGTON DC

R

December 6, 1991

WEEKEND .Page 8

\ L

Back to Top

© 2020 Regents of the University of Michigan