100%

Scanned image of the page. Keyboard directions: use + to zoom in, - to zoom out, arrow keys to pan inside the viewer.

Page Options

Download this Issue

Share

Something wrong?

Something wrong with this page? Report problem.

Rights / Permissions

This collection, digitized in collaboration with the Michigan Daily and the Board for Student Publications, contains materials that are protected by copyright law. Access to these materials is provided for non-profit educational and research purposes. If you use an item from this collection, it is your responsibility to consider the work's copyright status and obtain any required permission.

March 24, 1989 - Image 22

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 1989-03-24

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

PAGE 12

WEEKEND/ MARCH 24,1989

Fashist

ideology

Al utEmemL'oe w
- Puttin' on the twits

If you want to explain what,
biologically, makes humans different
from "animals," it's easy. We've got
opposable thumbs, proportionally
larger brains, and so on. But that's
not enough for most people. We
want to know the intangibles. What
makes us transcend mere biology.
What makes us able to order prime
rib with a clear conscience.
Some people call it a soul. Some
call it intellect. They're wrong.
What elevates humankind is our
ability to take any natural function
and turn it into an embarassing
nightmare (Homo sapiens translates
from the Latin into "excuse me, I
can't believe I did something so
stupid"). Nature created food. Hum-
ans created the salad fork. Nature
created sex. Humans created the 4
1/2-foot-wide back seat.
Nature created fur.
Humans created fashion.
I've always hated this issue of
Weekend. Not so much from an
ethics of journalism standpoint; I

know it's necessary to raise money
and all that (the Black Market Babies
Catalogue Issue comes out next
week, incidentally).
No, my complaint is with fash-
ion in general. I can handle the
cruelty (not the baby seal-clubbing
- the fact that catalogues always
name fabric colors after food [basil,
peach, caramel, etc.] when the only
way to look attractive in their outfits
is starvation). I can handle the
silliness (I always thought a "power
suit" was what Iron Man wore).
But I have yet to see a fashion
catalogue that caters to actual hum-
ans. I perused the J. Crew Spring/
Summer '89 catalogue, and saw a
cover featuring three men, with a
woman, cavorting barefoot on a
beach - in dress slacks, shirt, and
tie. Guess Frankie and Annette really
have grown up.
Thus, I present...
The JimCo Spring/Summer '89
U-M Catalogue:

Photo #1: &
Any University
president knows
the name of the
academic game
these days is PR
(and we don't
mean Prestigious
Re-search!) Model Duderstadt looks
haute, hot, and ready to hype in our
"Media Darling" three-piece - the
power suit that turns permanent
press into positive press. Designed
especially for the busy administrator
with the national media knocking at
his riot-protected door.
Jimbo's ensemble, shown here in
camera-friendly grey, also comes
with our patented "Coat O' Many
Colors" - for days when you just
can't look too diverse. Large inner
pockets are sized just right to hide
those embarassing minority recruit-
ment reports when Kathleen Sul-
-livan comes a-callin', while the
extra-wide lapels are guaranteed to

IOZO

keep pesky
student protesters
out of the lens.
Remember, Dude,
if you don't look
good, we don't
look good!

Photo #2: Do you crave to be
intellectual, but simply lack the
brainpower? Worry no more! The
best substitute for a sharp mind is a
sharp outfit, and that's why we've
introduced the Jean Paul Sartre
LineTM of fashion products for the
budding aesthete.
Here, Ian models "the Angst
Look," just one of the existentialist
ensembles that'll have you at your
wan, worldweary best! Available
colors: Trenchcoat - black; beret -
black; turtleneck - black; socks -
black; shoes - black. Perfect for
open poetry readings or lurking by
the window of that new coffee place
on State Street that everybody
pretends they don't remember the

name of because it sounds so
ridiculous. Accessories include: the
Plast-O-Skar make up kit (fabricate
past suicide attempts!); Camus' The
Stranger (Howl and On the Road
also available at our Ann Arbor
outlets). Printed pages extra.
Photo #3: It's a dilemma every
activist faces at one time or another
- can glanour be politically cor-
rect? Well, don't despair, fellow
proles; we don't have to start wear-
ing drab work uniforms until after
the revolution! Larissa is a member
of LASC, SANE, WAND, FNOR,
BLARG, and GORNDLCLATCH
- and a sharp dresser to boot!
Larissa's outfit contains at least one
garment indigenous to every op-
pressed nation or group on Earth,
and its modularity allows for quick
changes in time for dinner with the
folks in Birmingham. Special titan-
ium-reinforced buttons leave no
cause unespoused, and also protect
delicate fabrics from nasty water

NEC

£,EKEfl0
SINCE 1989
41ZMANNC

I I'

OFF THE WALL
Springsteen rocks New Jersey
(In response)
I guess someone has to

Si

HELLO FftW1Uawt4s FVOITE G-'
IN CAMPLU$ fAioi4,'

What has 4 names and
personality?
George Herbert Walker Bush

no

rr
pd

U

w
mmmmmmmmml

Fifteen Years ago...
March 24, 1974
"Camp David, Md. (AP) - The White House indicated yesterday it will not consider
surrendering 42 taped conversations sought for the House impeachment injury until the
Judiciary Committee defines its charges against President Nixon and specifies 'what materials
are wanted and why."'
Thirty Years ago...
March 24, 1959
"University President Harlan Hatcher told the faculty yesterday they will continue to be
paid, even with the current threat of payless paydays.
"'I don't think the State will permit you to go without any pay,' he told faculty members
and their wives at a special meeting.
Fifty-seven Years ago...
March 24, 1932
"Strenuous efforts toward more effective student government were made last night by the
Student Council when a plan was adopted by that body which provides that juristiction over
student conduct and activities will be vested in a legislative body consisting of an upper and a
lower house....
"The upper house, if the Regents ratify the plan, will consist of eight members, four of
whom will be chosen from the faculty, and the other four from the student body.
"All members of the upper house would be appointed by the president of the University
and would be liable to removal from office by him."
Items in the Weekend Almanac are culled from past issues of the Daily on this date in history.
All articles are taken from Daily files which are open to public review in the Daily's library.

3 rFiRSTW iAVms)CK t e.514 .
A A r 4 Mb 8Ltf SWEAI5IIR.
9. ASW0 N

(In response)
What is short, has
has a big nose?
Michael Dukakis

no spine, and

"

. . r.n

Poverty is bad
Crime is messy
Don't be sad,
Vote for Jesse!
In all the world, what would you
wish for?
(Responses)
I had a 4.0
Good friends/Happiness/Love
Bigger hands and all that comes
with them
Win the jello jump
Peace
A boyfriend
A year's supply of Goebel
That Stucchi's would deliver
--Graduate Library

NEW Wes~c,6UAMARrC;P ,A040
F"),D aL .IN MA'rCIAIr4G )tAS,
I 5AfilmRT AND MAIM M

ii.:. i ..t.Jw.
'!!'

......
""""""""

MIN=

'TAWFi4 sria. STNINGINGO rt
'A A cKE TDSWEATSHIRT tvbo
JEANS wrtI MAIZE AND LS
-~TRIM #le
AN,LWDIA DARING DIPAW OF
SINDIViDL11 -ISM, AI N- i1
~'Mai AND SA~ M sWt4T+,
SWIrS44r AA AN 'R
AN c'lATo Fbo.owW S,,

- XNVAXYAA.XX AM)ANXXX X XXX XXYA x AWxWW
t, PLASMA DONORS
$ Earn extra cash $
Earn $20 on your first donation. You can earn
up to $120 a month. Couples can earn up to W 23 MAX
$240. Repeat donors who have not donated in . -
the last 30 days receive an additional $5 bonus -- "
for return visit.
YPSILANTI PLASMA CENTER 9yc
813 W. Michigan Ave., Ypsilanti
MILES Monday thru Friday 8:00am-4:00pm
call Plasma donors are people helping people ( 8%
today) ( 67w"f

i

r

I

CLASSIFIED ADSI Call 764-0557

I1

R

'AY

Whenever you need copies, depend on
Kinko's for quality, timely service

* Collating
* Specialty Paper
* Cutting

* Binding
- Stapling
" Padding

a L/e-

" ""
"
/'
i i
i

kin ko's
the copy center
Open 24 Hours Open 24 Hours Open 7 Days
540 E. Liberty 1220 S. University Michigan Union
761-4539 747-9070 662-1222

1

ANN ARBOR
1220 S. UNIVERSITY
VALUABLE COUPON
BABYA
P mTM
Plus Tax
III Prce valid in USA only

T

0 VALUABLE COUPON -
e-AECA DCAmnWIe

I

665-2034

Two adorable little individual-sized pan pizzas with cheese and pepperoni
for one low price. Valid only with coupon at oarticioating Little Caesars. '
Expires: March 31, 1989
(1989 Little Caesar Enterprises, Inc. MD
VALUABLE COUPON =
TWO SMALL PIZZAS
wh w4k rk ea ani4 +tnnnn*

1

1S

and a 12 oz. Soft Drink I
$ 49
P ce va din USA only
hat's an Italian Sub, Ham and Cheese or Vegetarian Sandwich anda
12z.oft' rin. alidonly with coupon at participating LittlCaesars
Expires: March 31, 1989 ar
1989 Little Caesar Enterprises, Inc. MD
M VALUABLE COUPON
TWO MEDIUM PIZZAS
with cheee and t nina*

I

i

Back to Top

© 2024 Regents of the University of Michigan